Q: My mom and dad are both getting dementia. I am all alone taking care of them since my sister passed away. I have to consider whether or not to quit my job and take on the job of caring for them full-time. I get sad and frustrated at them both. How do I decide?
A: First, I would like to say bless you and you are in my thoughts. It is very difficult to care for one parent alone with dementia but to have both your parents and to be taking on this task alone is very overwhelming and a daunting task to say the least.
I can not tell you what to do in regards to your job. Look at your own personal situation and know that you still need to take care of yourself also. If you know this is not possible while caregiving for two parents alone, then it may be time to reach out and ask for help.
In regards to dealing with your feelings, the first step is to realize that you have every reason to feel what you are feeling. You are not a bad person for feeling frustrated, sad, resentful and angry.
Find those resources in your area and utilize them. Look for respite, adult care, support groups, home health care, etc. You may also need to look at alternative living arrangements now. No one wants to think about assisted living or nursing homes, but doing it now can make you feel prepared, with a plan for the future. Waiting until the situation arises when you have no choice adds stress to an already stressful situation. Planning for the future now, you will make a rational decision about your parents' future instead of making decisions out of raw emotions.
Again, bless you and take care of yourself because if you do not take care of yourself, it will be difficult to be around to help take care of your aging parents.
