A different thought on Coronavirus... courtesy of a senior

I don't know. Even if I was ready to die I think not having loved ones near at that time would make me sad and that's the difference between dying during normal times and dying during these Covid times. Also for the families that can't say a proper good bye as well. If I had not been able to hold my mom's hand and say comforting loving words to her when she was passing would have hurt me deeply.

It's true that older people, especially frail older people in nursing homes, have been dying of communicable diseases for years. The difference is I don't believe that any long term care facility has the capacity to compassionately care for all their people when this illness takes hold among residents and staff. I've been sickened reading about those dying alone, not properly cared for by overworked staff, it has got to be the most heartbreaking thing imaginable and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

I cannot blast you for saying what a lot of us are thinking.

My mother, at age 90, has very low QOL, and is ready to die. Amazing genetics will probably keep her 'going' (meaning: alive) for many years to come. She has ONE friend still alive. She gets NO joy from grandkids or great grands. Never has.

I'm trying to not to panic and to be a calmer voice of reason amongst friends and neighbors who ARE panicking....b/c this will pass, somehow.

Your thoughts are NOT stupid. I agree with you 100%. You just wrote what a lot of us are too chicken to SAY.

I agree with you 100%. Truly. MIL in NH several years now turned 94 in March and in last stages of AD . Totally bed bound, non-verbal, when awake cries. There have been a few covid 19 cases in her NH. For MIL, it would be a blessing.

Since I typed this a month ago I’ve observed a lot. Still a bit nervous that I’ll step on toes on a site like this....I’ve seen on the ever dramatic news that a 97 year old “died unexpectedly from the virus” (Really, at 97 was there not a thought that this person might soon die of something?) that a nursing home “experienced tragedy” when residents died of the virus (I had a much loved mother live in a nursing home for four years, I know how that ends for most all residents, does it need to be defined a tragedy when the very old and sick leave this world?) and and 101 year old memory care resident “triumphs over Coronavirus” (Would never wish this person any more bad than they’ve already experienced, but do they really know and get to enjoy the triumph?) I still don’t wish this on anyone and look forward to when it’s in the rear view for us all. But I’m having a hard time seeing the tragedy in this for some of the population. I know first hand that no matter how bad, how sad or difficult someone’s life has become, that when they die, they are missed beyond measure. But I also know there are fates worse than death, and for some, their current situations are far more cruel than this virus

Midkid, I wholeheartedly agree with you.

So many people talk about death as if it were the horrible end of all that is--and I guess, through my faith, believe it to be simply moving from one plane of existence to another, painless plane of existence, but without all the PAIN, physical or mental that comes with these flawed, earthly bodies.

My SIL, who is a Dr. has agreed to allow me the dignity of 'dr assisted suicide'--and as I have had cancer a a fairly young age, know what is likely to 'get me'.

I am NOT putting my kids through watching me deteriorate in some NH, losing my mind and body simultaneously. I don't know what out obsession is with keeping our elderly alive for so long, esp when they have zero quality of life--we've all heard/seen of people who linger for years and years--in absolute misery b/c modern medicine can keep them alive.

Both my mother and my MIL are 90. And they are OK. Both are fighting to stay alive, for what purpose I do not know. Both complain nonstop about the horrors of their lives and we see it and try to understand.

I hope we've learned a lot from this pandemic, as in the next few weeks, people are going to start ignoring the 'regulations'. DH went to Lowes yesterday and he said it was absolutely PACKED with people, while the WalMart next door was nearly empty. People weren't stockpiling things, they were taking advantage of the good weather to get gardening stuff. I asked hoe many people were social distancing and how many were wearing masks and he said 'Maybe half'. Well, that's not going to be helpful.

Oh well--this thing will end eventually and people are not going to stay indoors for a lot longer. I, for one, have an anxiety disorder and have been going slowly just bonkers....

I agree with you. My mother is 93 with more issues than Newsweek and all I ever hear from her is how she wants to die. NOW. So, if the virus comes to her ALF, so be it. She's 100% miserable 100% of the time and I seriously feel it's her time to transition and be with her family members once more. She is the last man standing now, and hopefully, God will be ready to call her home soon. I only pray that she does not suffer and goes peacefully, as well as anyone else who passes from this virus.

Truth is, here in Colorado, there are about 100 Nursing Homes and residential care homes with outbreaks. Out of the 411 people who've died here thus far, the vast majority have been elders in such care home situations. Yes, there have been some younger folks too, as well as a child and a 21 year old young man, but again, most have been elderly folks living in care facilities.

These are all great, great answers to a brave, sincere post.
I feel privileged to belong to a community of real independent thinkers.

I completely get it. My dad is 95 and the isolation is taking a severe toll. He is unable to visit his long time companion who is in a memory care home. He doesn't use technology and is very hard of hearing.
The aspect of this that motivates me to keep him safe is that if he contracts the virus and is hospitalized, he would be without his family at his side. He would die alone.
If he contracted the virus and didn't want to seek medical care, I don't know what that would look like.

I too agree with your thought process. I would never blast you. I am sure many would, however. And that’s too bad imo.
Death is not optional as NHWM stated. It will happen to each of us.
It may be a blessing for those just existing, with no quality of life. If they should get the virus, while they would be treated, chances of survival are low.
I certainly hope it would be a peaceful way to go.
This is a tough topic. Whoever thought last Christmas we’d be coping with a worldwide pandemic for Easter?
God Bless us all!

Very fair thoughts.

I won’t blast you! I get what you’re saying. Plus, hey you are entitled to your opinion just like everyone else is. 💗 Take care.

Don't know why people think they need more ammo unless they are planning on shooting their pets for food or planning on offing themselves. Yes, horrible thoughts but under the circumstances you can't blame my mind for going there.

I'm frankly disgusted with the media. Fear mongering at it's worst. I hold them responsible if we lose our retirement savings. Yes, this is a bad situation but they have escalated the panic in my opinion.

Do I blame an elderly person for thinking this would be a quicker way to die? Not at all.

Your thoughts have been stated to me by five people aged over eighty since Monday, after I have explained to them what we're doing to reduce the risk of infecting them.

I don't think they're stupid, either :)

Riverdale, I think there are going to be a lot of consequences when this is all said and done. We’ve had to act quickly and little thought has been given when it comes to a lot of things. I really hope that these politicians come through with the stimulus checks because it occurred to me tonight that my exSIL is one of many who cannot legally work for the next 3 weeks if not longer and she does not qualify for unemployment because she is self employed! She is a hair stylist, she rents a booth in the salon and works there during the week and on weekends she travels the county doing bridal hair and makeup. So for 3 weeks minimum her income will be ZERO! I am pretty sure she did not make $130k last year so she will get a stimulus check if they follow through with these promises being made. I feel bad for everyone in this state who made less than $130k because.....$130k doesn’t get you much here. It really doesn’t. If you made that much, you are lower middle class. Basically the middle class will be excluded if $130k is the threshold. I say, if you paid taxes last year, you should also get a stimulus check.

Ammo sales are up. Today it was reported that there was a long line outside the 1 store in town that sells guns and ammo. It’s called turners outdoor, I have never been there myself. They had to limit the number of people allowed inside because the line was so long! My BIL even hit up my husband over the weekend asking him to try to get him 1000 rounds of ammo!!!! Not gonna happen, my hubby does not have special privileges, he has to jump the same hoops as everyone else! His job doesn’t make it easier to get ammo, thank God because I was pissed when my BIL made that stupid request! I am not anti gun but the guy is bipolar and depressed and does not need a gun let alone 1000 bullets!!!

Daughter1930 - I would not blast you. Quite the opposite, I agree with you. When I'm ready to leave this world, I hope for a quick peaceful passing. A common flu, pneumonia, and coronavirus would be a blessing. Dear God, please spare me from any form of dementia.

Agree too with sentiments expressed here but how could this be directed that way. I don't mean to seem morbid or cruel. If anything the elderly in facilities at least here are being protected greatly. I stayed away at first instruction to but others drove to meet their relatives on the grounds of the AL place my mother is in so now they have placed a complete lockdown on even driving anywhere near.

If anything those who may die if they are elderly and compromised are benefitting. I worry about the massive number of able bodied people who are very quickly becoming unemployed. I can't imagine this won't spark depression and suicides.. I hope it doesn't cause mass shootings as gun sales are up. I think also there will be a wave of crime as people grow desperate. It may be a coincidence but yesterday we had a number of fraudulent charges to one of our credit cards. I pray for unity and kindness.

Your thoughts aren’t stupid at all. I have had similar thoughts since this all began. Truth is, this virus would be a blessing to a lot of our elders. My thought process changed when my MIL entered hospice while suffering from pulmonary fibrosis. We watched her suffering & dying for 3 months. I will freely admit that I often read posts here from people with an elderly LO who really has no quality of life and I can’t respond to the post because I can’t say what I really want to say—which is WHY? WHY do you want to prolong their suffering life? Why are you considering a surgery that is probably unnecessary? WHY do you want to put them through chemo which will likely make them very sick, to the point the chemo itself might kill them? I realize that EOL for someone with pulmonary fibrosis is probably vastly different than say, dementia......but I truly cannot understand the desire to prolong life. I recent read a post from someone who’s parent is nearly 100, has advanced dementia and zero quality of life and she is worried about her parent getting corona virus. I confess, I wanted to say to her that perhaps the corona virus would be a blessing. Not because I want her to die but because my MILs EOL suffering changed my perspective. Quality of live over everything. I cannot bear to watch anyone else suffer & I do not understand the desire to prolong life.

I think your thoughts reflect what a lot of us feel, probably some of us feel but don't write or say it, and how many older people feel.    And it's realistic.

Prolonging life as it has become in the US isn't prolonging good life.   I'm fortunate that my parents went relatively quickly, although Dad's last days lasted about 6 weeks.  Still, it was agonizing to see him in that condition.

OTOH, my sister's last months of battling cancer were equally painful.

For those at the end stage of life, this could be a blessing.  The problem is, none of us can choose to be exposed and be successful.  It's still a gamble on who'll get CV and who won't.

I do hope your father finds peace, regardless of how long he lives.   And I congratulate you for addressing a difficult and sensitive topic.

Can't help but the thought dawn on you that in years past, ... there are many elderly that live warehoused in facilities with no quality of life these days .. and in years past, before the modern medicine and technologies of today would've passed on.

I can't blast anyone for that thought process.

I, too, have thought what a blessing this could be for the multitude of humans that have been kept alive by medical intervention and now have no quality of life and are warehoused throughout the world, the ones, like your dad that have their minds are ready to go, the others, well they don't even know they are alive.

Your dad sounds like he is pretty amazing and understands that a peaceful passing is not the worse thing that can happen. Give him a big hug and tell him that we need more men with his common sense.

You all take care of one another and enjoy every minute possible, may your dad get his peaceful passing and not have to suffer from the CHF. Hugs to both of you!

I completely understand the impulse to wish someone with a very poor quality of life would peacefully pass on. The problem with the "Luckily, coronavirus isn't seriously affecting the young and healthy" argument is that coronavirus is not distinguishing between those who are ready to go and an 87 year old who was just on a ski trip in Italy.

And, like seasonal flu, it is occasionally taking out the 35 year old in good health or an otherwise healthy child.

I wish your father every ease and comfort. But I don't wish coronavirus spread on any of us.

I agree with you and cannot blast you! Death is not optional, although it seems many people act as if it is.