Assisted living facility has forbidden my 89 year old mother from communicating with me or they will kick her out. It's been a year.

Wow.
Not to be rude to you...

..but the lack of any punctuation in your post made it impossible for me to understand what is going on.

Maybe think on it a little bit and come back and rewrite your thoughts with more than one enormous run-on sentence. (Again, not trying to offend you).

If you speak as you write, I think people might have a bit of difficulty understanding your POV.

Understandably, you are angry and frustrated. I hope you can iron out some of these issues. Unfortunately, I don't think we can help much until we all understand what's going on here.

Clearly there is a public guardian here who, if this was a buy in contract, has arranged everything from getting diagnosis, prognosis, proper placement in MC. The condo would be sold; this is a contract that can likely only be understood by attorneys.

If the car was taken by daughter the guardian would consider it stolen without evidence of what happened to it.

Clearly this is all attorney work.
There is nothing this Forum can advise on this total confusion but to get an attorney to iron it out. And Laura, until this IS ironed out, should you wish to visit your mother it will almost certainly be with someone accompanying you, and anything of all this mess brought up will have you out the door and unable to return. This may have already happened. But for now, contact admins, tell them that until this legal mess is ironed out in the courts you would like to visit with accompanying person of their choice, that you will keep ANY discussion ONLY to how much you love your Mom.

No one here can help; please see an attorney. I hope you will update us as this gets worked out.

You "by-in" to these Communities. There maybe something in the contract where if the resident has no family and has been declared incompetent, they can sell the condo and place her where they think she will get the best care. These contracts need to be looked at by a lawyer before signing because I am sure there are loopholes. My Aunt was in one but my cousin was her POA and kept on top of things. My GFs mother was POA for a SIL. When the SIL had a stroke at 90, she was transferred to LTC from her apartment. GFs Mom got a bill for the stay in the LTC. She told them the by-in guarenteed that 90% of the amount she paid would go to her care in an LTC. She stood her ground and threatened with a lawyer. She got her way. She was about 85 at the time. They thought she was a little old lady who knew no better.

Are you sure that the 250k was not the by-in amount? I think you need to get a copy of her contract and copies if checks and transfers having to do with Mom and this community. Then you need to take it all to an Elder Lawyer that has dealt with these communities. They are alienating you and bringing up charges against you. You may be able to sue, but at the least help Mom. It sounds to me like someone got guardianship of some kind. This is the only way you are going to resolve this. We are not lawyers. We can lead u to the water but we can't make u drink it.

There are places in Florida where you buy the condo (for a very high price) and pay heavy monthly fees. You buy in for the duration - your duration. You have access to their rehab, skilled nursing facility and hospice when they are needed. Friends of my parents bought in to one in Naples, they loved it. Golf course, several restaurants, one was fine dining, there are activities, wood shop, gym - it was all nice and the meals were included. They have a hotel nearby where guests can visit. Cleaning and laundry services are available. I visited years ago, the place felt like a resort.

I wonder if this is the situation?

Laura I am beyond confused, They moved her into hospice, but then into Al ? That makes no sense to me. The only way I can see they could sell her condo if is she was behind on her payments. But I really don;t get hospice to to AL..

Regency Oaks in Clearwater FL is a rehab, independent living, assisted living and skilled nursing facility all in one place. They would have no right to sell your mother's condo or ANY such thing! Get a lawyer and explain all of this to them. We on the forum can't make heads or tails out of what you're trying to say bc it makes no legal sense to us. We'd love to help you, but we cannot. Offering you a ton of support as you try to sift thru this nightmare. Best of luck.

girardlaura,
None of what you tell us is happening here is is maing any legal sense.
This is something that this Forum really cannot have much input into as this is a big convoluted situation in which the state government is already involved.
This is something you should be contacting an elder law attorney about, not an international forum that is basically online social media and cannot know or understand any of the legalities here.

I know we all wish your family good luck. You cannot interfere in any of this other than THROUGH LEGAL CHANNELS, that is to say through an attorney.

Your messages to us don't make a lot of sense. So take all your documentation for any of this to an attorney. IF that attorney tells you that nothing can be done, then relax and let this be handled through the channels it is handled, and concentrate on visiting your mom, whether that needs to be accompanied or not. The important thing here is that you give her your love and your CALM support.

I know we all wish you the best. But this is a legal matter.

How could the AL put your mother's condo on the market unless she OKed it? What did they do with the rest of the proceeds other than the small amount they gave her? Do you think she is telling them you stole her car and tried to kidnap her? If so, why didn't they realize that perhaps she needed to be evaluated for dementia?

My fell and broke her leg in January of this year she was in the hospital for a week and a half undergoing surgery the doctor told me she would not be released anytime soon but was released the next day without notify me of her discharge had I known that morning she was being discharged I would have went home with her and taken care of her but instead the assisted living facility that is it associated with the independent living that my mom was living in at the time decided they would come and get her and put her in their facility they put her $250,000 condominium in Independent living up for sale for $500,000 and gave my mom $25,000 for the condominium moved her in the hospice which is $7,000 a month then moved her into assisted living at the beginning during this time the administration who was new new owners to regency oaks in Clearwater the administration called the police and reported my mother's car stolen by me but I hadn't told her car she told me to drive her car while she was in the hospital and to take care of her affairs at the condominium I was arrested for Grand theft Auto that night this is when the facility told my mom that she was to have no communication with me or she would be thrown out my mom is 89 years old was on coming dementia not understanding scared and fear lost not knowing what to do we had a couple conversations since this happened they were accidental conversations nonetheless very grateful to have them with her and I will cherish these short conversations with her for the rest of my life extortion is real it really does happen if you think this is unbelievable how do you think I feel I'm sure my mom is very depressed confused lonely and sad she is said that she needs to follow the demands of the facility and fear that she will be homeless it breaks my heart that these people have been able to convince her that her daughter is not enough to take care of her or will make sure that she will not be homeless but we become well cared for this has been like the biggest nightmare for me in my entire life I'm at my mom's only relative and she is my only relative we are all we have left together I know that she's broken hearted about having to make the decision she has made being coerced and blackmailed threatened and extorted I joined his forum mostly because I need support for what I'm going through and I know it may not be the same thing that you all are going through but I need to talk about what I'm going through I did not come on this form to pull any thing over anybody's eyes are telling fabricated stories like I said if you think it's unbelievable how do you think I feel and how do you think my mother feels she feels I'm sure hopeless and I'm sure a little bit she feels deserted but what am I to do charge up in there with my chest puffed out and demand to see my mother I was told if I come up there I will go to jail for what though that's what I don't understand for what I have done nothing the charge of Grand theft Auto against my mom was dropped there was another false allegation made against me by this administration they said that I sent a friend of mine up to the facility to kidnap my mother how I'm searching that be unbelievable I was in North Carolina at the time but all the agencies I've talked to department of children and families in other affairs have failed to see a pattern here of trying to smear me and my reputation to continue to have complete rain and rule over my mother

Who decided your Mother would move into AL?

Did you want her to live with you?

Assisted Living facilities have no right to "forbid" a resident from speaking with anyone. Especially if your mother has a telephone......as mine did, with her own direct phone number. Anyone could call her at any time, 24/7.

This post makes no sense.

I think there is some missing information here.
I am sorry for your distress, but not knowing the facts means I have no opinion other than to say that this is a very "unusual" happenstance.

Who put your Mom in the facility... did she go there on her own?

Is anyone her PoA?

If someone else is her PoA then this is the person who may be blocking you and having the facility also block you.

If no one is your Mom's PoA and she has dementia, then what she believes about the facility and what she is telling you not be true at all... she may be blocking you because she has a delusion about something (and paranoia is a common feature of dementia).

We need some background. Why would they kick her out for communicating with you? And why would you want her in an AL that had that stipulation, and why would she want to be in an AL that had that stipulation?