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My younger brother doesn’t communicate with me except through his wife. My older brother has recently started to ask me for support as he has DPOA, but I haven’t heard from him since. Neither brother has ever been close to me-only contact was holiday dinners at parents. I don’t know why but i feel like they don’t like me. And I’m definitely gonna keep calling my mom every day regardless. I just have to overlook some of her comments to me. Like when I was last there cleaning her house she commented that I was just exhausted but that soon I can go back home and loaf. It’s hard. But I can do it.
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Hugs.

Long posts are fine. Especially they're fine if it does you good to get it out, but also it helps us get a more detailed picture of the situation.

The first thing I'd say is that if you're right about your mother's possible mental decline, and I'd agree there are signs that want investigating, then it is crucial not to attach too much importance to her words or her attitude. For example: her apparent dismissiveness, her lack of empathy or insight into the impact what she'd said to you might have had. Match that up with her complaints about your brothers, which suddenly swings back into fulsome praise of them. Truly, that does sound as if she is not processing, controlling thoughts and words in the way that you've been used to her doing; and therefore don't place *reliance* on what she says as being a reflection of her real thoughts or feelings about you. *Especially* because they can be so painful, it's important to set conversations like this to one side and separate them from any decisions you need to think through.

You feel excluded, blamed, still torn about the choices you had to make a long time ago.

You are not the only one in your family who probably shares these feelings. You have all experienced difficulties, loss, complicated relationships. Do not imagine that you are the only one who is struggling.

You feel that your family is indifferent to you, that you're becoming an outsider. You know, I doubt that's true. I would expect that it is more that they are concentrating on their everyday, and for a lot of the time that simply doesn't include you because you're not part of the everyday. That's okay. They're not writing you off, they're just preoccupied by what they are dealing with.

How often do you speak to your brothers?

Your son is a whole separate issue. Is this a son from your first marriage?
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It happens, families are dysfunctional, there is always some resentment that is brewing under the surface somewhere, then the opportunity presents itself and out it comes. There is more to this story, however, I do not feel that it is in your best interest to dig any further. Stay in contact with your mother on the phone, be courteous, listen, hang up go about the business of your life, that is all you can do. You do not need to apologize for the choices that you have made in your life, your husband and children come first. Did your parents get your approval before they made their choices in life..I doubt it. Take Care!
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