Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Let me add a comment that is similar to partsmom's post. When my mother was ill and quite near the end of her life, her Massachusetts church organized a "meal train" for me as I had been living there for 6 months. This wasn't even my church since I moved there from my Maryland home to take care of my late mother! The kindness of Godly women was just beyond anything I expected bestowed to a complete stranger (me).

part and llama, it is a lovely and wonderful thing when Godly women execute love, mercy and grace on others. I am so happy you all were blessed amidst a difficult time. May God bless!

smeshque: Thank you! I was a "one-woman show" there for a while and was so grateful when perfect and Godly strangers reached out to my aid!

LL you had tremendous strength being a one woman show. I am so happy that God's children showed you love. All glory to God, he sent them to your aid. I hope you are doing well now. Pressing on.

smeshque: Oh, my goodness...THANK YOU SO MUCH! It's people like yourself,  the cheerleaders on this site who truly are Godsends! Yes, I  am well. Thank you again for Godly people like you!

LL you are a blessing to me as well. I am so happy you are doing well. Thank you for your kind words, its always good to see your messages. May God bless.

PS LL do you actually have llamas? They are fascinating creatures and their llama beans are great for garden. :)

smeshque: I'm glad that I am a blessing to you as well. Thank you so much! No, unfortunately, I live in an urban area that would not permit owning llamas! Ha Ha! You're a funny person as when you changed the word "lima" (beans) to llama beans aiding a garden! That they would! LOL! It's always a good thing when we can have a little bit of fun on an issue (elder care) that is so challenging and draining on an individual. God bless you.

Thank you LL I hope you have had a good day. You are very pleasant. Quite a pleasure to exchange comments and banter with you.
May blessings shower down on you.

smeshque: Thank you ever so much. I did. Every day is a good day on God's earth. Aww.. what sweet compliments you sent my way. I try to be an example that God would want and not a person filled with acrimony because after all, isn't it better to be a person who is kind, just like you? I bestow you 100 fold blessings, this I wish for my friend, smeshque. Amen.
Btw, my late mother didn't actually name me Llama, but Nancy Darlene. LOL Your user name is lovely. I detect a hint of French in it; am I right?

Hi all need to do a lot of catching up. But Oh Man! just the brief scan of words is lovely. I know I am going learn a lot from this forum and I look forward. Going to try and catch up. I have lots to share but a little worn out to relive stuff right now, God bless all.

Smesh, I think what ever moved you to open this forum was divine intervention, (((HUGS))) and thanks! going to catch up.

Night owl, I am catching up but i want to comment on your post about the pastors statement and how it helped you.
As my mother deteriorated and this was way before she got bad. I was seeing how it was and that it would be bad because of how my twisted and I were raised to be pitted against each other. When she and my nephew tried (to no avail) to stop my attempts to simply get meals on wheels for my mother because she was not eating. I didnt want to wash the dirty laundry in public. the church is accross the street from our house. my mother at the time was the president of the block association and the church part of the block worked a lot with my mother. finally in frustration and trust I caught him in the middle of pantry just after prayer for breakfast. every one was listening. I tried to speak in code and tried not to cry as I tried to communicate this secret dillema. Guesss what?! He gave me a number to contact AC. I went on line and found this site and have been helped ever since.

I want to mention also that as my mother got worse in her dementia she was not able to take a bus anylonger. The people who picked her up were ill and eventually died. Some sunday mornings I would come in to find her crying because it was women's day or some other event she was a member of everything. My mother help found the church. The original pastor died and they voted for this new pastor who sold the church and bought a new one in his neigborhood far from original with no provision for elderly. My mother is or was one of the oldest members of the church. I called and left a message. No one from the church has reached out. A friend who used to drive her an old buddy got access a ride to visit. Now the phone is unplugged and somewhere who knows because my mother packs and stuffs everythibng with anything and puts it anywhere.

I really felt bad bout her church as she was so dedicated. It was sad and just showed the true colors of the pastor his wife and the pastor's mother. My mother worked with them a lot on so many committees. So it was good to see how a true Church of God takes care of their own.

DD that is such a sad thing you described. I am sorry for that experience, for you and your Mom. That just doesn't seem right.
I do hope you have better experiences soon with a church.
(((Hugs))) I always appreciate you sharing.

LL sorry not french. It is my first initial and the beginning of my last name which is 14 letters long and it is Native American, or Indian however one wants to say.
My maiden name was french though.
Good guess, most people always guess my last name to be like Scandinavian or something like that.
(Hugs)

smeshque: Oh, okay. I have French Canadian in my roots since my maternal grandmother was born in Sawyersville, Quebec. How very interesting about your heritage! Hugs back to you.

I hope all had a nice day wherever you be. Recognizing how blessed we are in the midst of trials and tribulations. May God bless!

Lately, I have been thinking about Jesus' call to self-denial and have come to the following conclusions.

Jesus' call to self-denial is about denying selfishness, but not a denial of the very individual self that God made us to be in his image.

Jesus' call to self-denial does not mean emotional, financial, physical or social self-destruction. It's about saying yes to the will of God and no to our own will.

Jesus' call to self-denial is not the absence of fun, creature comforts, low self-esteem, running yourself down, not laughing or never rejoicing in the good that you have accomplished. It is a call to renounce ungodliness and to live a godly life.

Jesus' call to self-denial is not crucifying yourself on your own altar which leads to glory in your sacrifice. Instead, it means dying to self to allow more of God.

Magnum Thank you for your comment. That is a very clear way to state something I have found so difficult to wrap my mind around. I truly appreciate it.

You're welcome.

cmagnum: Yes, thank you! A friend of mine who has 6 children, one being disabled in many ways just quoted the scripture akin to what you posted the other day.

'Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. "~Philippians 4:8

My oldest brother was disabled and my Mom cared for him for about 50 years until he passed. She had a tough life my, My Mom, she is a woman of tremendous strength and faith. I assume by your post your friend is likewise. The word is the best medicine the most filling sustenance, lovely thank you, Llama, I love it.

Here's a related thread on AC.

Have your parents attempted to manipulate you as a caregiver using their own spin on Christian teaching?

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/parents-manipulate-you-as-a-caregiver-176024.htm

smeshque: My friend, Nicolette is a beyond-amazing Godly woman! She has an online page for her disabled child and she routinely updates everyone. She never makes an error EVER. GOD bless your mother, smeshque! She has super, Godly powers! Thank you. That is a fav scripture as it's so comforting.

LL-I will keep Nicolette in my prayers along with you. You must be a super friend to have such a super friend. I too think on that scripture often, I think it is beautiful.

Thanks Magnum for the post

smeshque: Oh, thank you SO much! Would be believe that Nicolette's surname is "Friend?" Yes, all true and that is the epitome of her!

LL-That's neat her surname is Friend.Fitting.
Hope you are well this day and blessings abounding for you.

We all sin. We are all learning.
Maybe let others do things for you?

Thank you Ann for your comment. My problem with that is when I make a declaration of a need I have, it gets totally ignored.