Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

NoTryDoYoda- I pray that the most high will give her strength and a peace mind.

Hi everyone.. Just a little update !
My youngest sister who has been helping me and my mother with my grandmother no longer helps us. There is lots of conflict between Us and my older brother so please keep us in your prayers. Now it’s just me and my 19 year old sister but she has her days where she doesn’t really want to help so it will be just me or my mom and me. But God is so good. Recently my aunt (grandmother’s daughter) has been a big help. Coming over sometimes with her daughter and grandkids to sit and talk with my grandmother so I thank God for that.

As far as college I still haven’t made a decision but I took up learning art and it’s something I really enjoy and passionate about. If it’s his will I will probably take only classes to help me with the basics. Also I’m focusing on creating a blog for young adults and teenagers on how to find their way to Jesus. I’ve been unmotivated to finish but I’m praying that Jesus will give me the strength and motivation I finish.

I just want to say thank you all so much for your wisdom and encouragement last time I explained my situation. You truly are wonderful people and I pray that Jesus will bless and keep you all. Continue to trust in him and any and every situation and circumstance and always keep your mind filled with him so that you will be kept in perfect peace!

Who are we
That You would be mindful of us
What do You see
That's worth looking our way
We are free
In ways that we never should be
Sweet release
From the grip of these chains

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

All that is within me cries
For You alone, be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us
My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid, these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

Lord, You know
Our hearts don't deserve Your glory
But still You show
A love we cannot afford

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

All that is within me cries
For You alone, be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us
My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid, these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

Such a tiny offering
Compared to Calvary
But nevertheless
We lay it at your feet
Such a tiny offering
Compared to Calvary
But nevertheless
We lay this at your feet

All that is within me cries
For You alone, be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us
My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid, these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

God With us-Mercy Me

Its best to understand that when we are applying a scripture to our lives that balance is something we all struggle with, because we are a “part of life” ...something Jesus said himself in prayer.

To care for an ailing family member, what will (and has) given me peace of mind is implementing solutions that give me mental peace.
1. I have child locks on the exiting doors of the house to prevent my ALZ mom from exiting the home.
2. I have switched out regular doors for doors that lock so I can store items behind a lock door and use shelves to create a pantry for myself for convenience e.
3. I have removed breakable items and sharp knives from the kitchen and stored it in the locked pantry to prevent injury.
4. I removed the gas knobs from the stove to prevent an accident from occurring.
5. I play music to quiet the dark thoughts she may have (those paranoid thoughts she can’t help having).

for me:
I keep an online journal ( I use DayOne) to channel what I can’t process with others.
I electronically color {April Coloring) to use to break the stress for myself
i also study languages or work on writing a novel, learning a new hobby...something I can put down at a moment’s notice if I can.

It’s okay to mourn the loss of the person who lived s life with a longer leash.. as one gets older, it shortens because ailments and frailty can make that happen. For caregivers, that leash is felt more concretely because it’s natural to tug at a leash applied too soon....but again, “do unto others” applies.... and while that doesn’t change what is occurring, it will help ease the grief when the time comes to be released from that ‘leash’... because you did what the Bible asked and there will not be regret on your part for the effort you made to lessen their final days on earth.

As my mom gets worse, me, like so many before me, will toggle between wanting to help and inwardly muttering “what about me and my needs?” But part of being human is knowing they once did it for you...and at some point... someone will be doing the same for you. Loss of privacy, loss of autonomy is what happens when we get old... no one wants to literally rely on others for things we once used to do without thought. But we are a community of people... and resourceful...and now more so than ever...we have to adapt and use muscles we haven’t thought of using in an age of technology and self-importance.

a job will always insist they come first and demand all to sacrifice at the altar of it until they decide who is expendable. If we keep our lives simple...like the Bible says... we won’t have so much debt to shoulder if a company should decide to lay off or otherwise. One’s job pays bills....it doesn’t replace the person we grew into or the person we will still become. One’s career will not outpace what a person from childhood to retirement... a career usually ends long before our lives do.

Perspective along with patience can help adjust to daily life. Hope this helps.

Hi everyone
I hope you all are well
Everyone is well here.
Not enough time in a day.
You all are always in my prayers. Please keep me in yours.
I have been studying hard. And it seems to take up more time than I would like.
AB is having another surgery, next week.
Always trying times here. But for the betterment of my soul.
Much love to you all

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.”
James 1:3

Hi everyone,

I guess I am the only one who writes here now. Ab's surgery went well, I believe it helped.
School is going ok.
I got sick earlier this week and so I did a COVID test, came out negative, thank the Lord. I also got Mom tested as a precaution, she is also COVID free. Please pray for our President and his wife, as they have got it.

Much love and prayers!


The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.
The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.
The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
Psalms 19:7-10

Smeshque,
Lol, that is a bit of over-generalization, thinking you are the only one posting. Just in the month of September, there were six other posters:
SLMily
Petrasmall12
IAMKHM
Llamalover
NoTryDoYoda
and,
Polarbear Aug. 30th.

How are your goats? Are you taking pictures?

Yes Send- if I would just open my eyes I could see that. I always count on you to keep me in check. :)
Yes I will attempt to post a picture of my favorite Abigail. She is the sweetest goat.

Send-I couldn't find one of just Abigail at this time, they are all on my phone.

So in this pic, she is the one furthest back, then its Rebecca and then foremost is Sarah. And my border collie who is becoming quite a good goat herder.

Smeshque,
Yes, I am just keeping in practice being a Berean, searching for truth. It was not meant as a correction, because I really do want you to be having fun! But I need the practice!
Thanks for the goat photo! So nice of you. And your Border Collie! They come that way, you know, already to herd something by instinct. What a great time you must be having! 🐑



James 1:12
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."

Smeshque: Oh, your photos are ever so cute and sweet. Thank you for sharing them.💞

Song: The Lonely Goatherd from the sound of music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmmOJx_Hxto

Hi smeshque -I'm glad to hear you got over your illness. I'm sure Pres. Trump and his wife are recovering nicely. I heard he will be released from the hospital tomorrow to continue treatment at home. That's good news.

From what I read, the antibodies will protect those who have been infected with COVID from being reinfected. If they come in contact with a mutation of the virus, the second round will be less severe.

About your goats, I'm curious as to how goats behave. Are they smart like horses? How did you came up with the names for the girls? How about that beautiful border collie? Does s/he have a name?

Polar,

I have a friend who lives in a log cabin north of New Orleans in a rural area. She had a goat named, Spanky.

He is so cute but she says he eats everything! She has five acres of land. She used to have a flower garden but she gave up on growing flowers. She said Spanky destroyed her garden!

I remember taking my daughters to the zoo when they were young. Audubon Zoo in New Orleans has a cute little petting zoo for kids.

I was toting around a diaper bag. A diaper was sticking out of the bag and a goat grabbed it and ate it. I was shocked. Goats are funny!

The goats are great. Incredibly smart. Maybe not like horses, horses are magnificent creatures. I have always heard that goats will eat anything. But these goats are choosy. I haven't seen them try and eat anything they shouldnt. Maybe the breed? These goats love fresh leaves, especially pecan leaves. That is there nightly treat until the leaves fall. But I have read they like cedar leaves and those are year round, but I have yet to try that. But they also like dried leaves to munch down. They love dried banana tree leaves. They eat baking soda at will for any digestive issues. They have 4 stomachs. Basically besides free range grass, they get hay, and I give them a mixture of goat pellets and all stock pellets in the morning and at night,Just a bit. They shouldn't have to much grain. But the grain is more for training them on the milkstand. So I can trim their hooves and getting them use to it for milking time. Plus now I am feeling for babies. I can't tell just yet, maybe next month. They are gaining weight but I do not know for sure if it is for winter or pregnancy or both. Time will tell. If all went well with the buck rental we shall have some wonderful lambs in February.
The names came from the Bible :), My next girl will be Chloe.:)
We have a little buckling which is Rebecca's son, we wethered him, however I let AB name him and he named him Jr. :(
We just rent a buck as needed for freshening.
My girl Abigail, I have trained her to just follow me without being led and she will jump on the milkstand on command. Sarah is almost as good. But Rebecca has been a challenge, I think her previous owners were either not social with her, or maybe mean to her. When we first got her she definitely would not allow us to get close. So she has to be caught and led to the stand. But, now she will let me touch her head, but no pets yet. I am wearing her down. She will trust me one day.
My Border collie which was a gift from a previous co worker, he is becoming a good goat herder. It is amazing how they have that instinct and it is so natural. It is so neat to watch. When he was a pup, he would try and herd us and the other dogs. Then he went to the chickens and would herd them. But now that he has goats. He is all about the goats. His name is Sika. Pronounced Ceekuh. It is part of my DH's Indian name. But Sika is still in training daily but he improves daily. He is a brilliant dog.
Sorry I got on a goat kick. I just so enjoy them, they have brought so much joy around here. Mom enjoys sitting out and watching them as well. Abigail will jump on the bench next to Mom and Mom will pet her. It is sweet. She has never really been an animal person, but now she loves the dogs and well the goats too.

I hope you all are doing well.



Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men! Psalms 31:19

Smeshque, I have enjoyed reading about your goats.

Are you going to make cheese? I love goat cheese.

The Lord is showing me the way to deal with my dad in a way that lets HIM be 1st and foremost in the conversation.

Thank you for your example, it truly has been helpful.

May God continue to lead you and strengthen you in this journey you are on. Your loved ones are blessed to have you.

May you be blessed exceeding abundantly.

Your presence is missed.

Thanks be to God for the snow in Colorado to help with the wildfires!

I can’t believe my daughter is living there now. She seems to be prepared. She bought snow boots, hats, gloves, warm jacket, sweaters and wool socks! Oh, and new tires for her car.

So sad that an elderly couple died in their home because they didn’t evacuate.

I’m a bit nervous about my southern daughter driving in the snow! Please pray and reassure me that she’s going to be fine.

🙏 Thanks.

Habakkuk 2:20
New King James Version
 
“But the Lord is in His holy temple.
Let all the earth keep silence before Him.”

AS a former Long Term care Nurse and now in my 76th year,active faith is important to me.Early in retirement I worked as an activity assistant in Long term care of others.Now my priority #1 is my morning activity to read my small size Doctor's Bible at my bedside before I put my feet on the floor and get up and out of bed.During the day I play with a colorful doable puzzle.Sitting beside me now is an almost completed one.It is not known commonly,but doing puzzles builds nerve cells in the brain improving memory.Also I take Prevagen,a common inexpensive supplement daily. Though it is hard to be as active during the Pandemic I get about wearing paper diposable masks with handwashing when I go out and about.

This is a difficult decision for you but I think you need to reframe it. You know how they tell you in an airplane to put on your own oxygen mask before you put on your child’s? This goes against every instinct but the truth is you cannot be of help to the child unless you have oxygen. So with regard to the person you are caring for, you must be healthy in order to do the job properly. It is not selfish or non-Christian to take care of yourself first. It is necessary. Remember Jesus fed the people who followed him because he understood common human needs. Without caring for yourself, you will struggle with resentment and the love you are trying to give will be more bitter than sweet because you are simply human. We must be humble with the reality of our frailties and not proud trying to be perfect. God bless you.

"The Lord loves those who love themselves."

It may or may not be scripture (I'm not a churchgoer), but I don't know how anyone is supposed to take care of others if they don't take care of themselves. It seems the Lord understands that.

Forsaking yourself is just martyrdom, not being helpful.

Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee: thou saidst, Fear Not.

Oh Lord, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life.

Lamentations 3, 57 & 58 KJV

May The Lord take all fear and give us certainty and comfort that HE has redeemed our life. God bless you Smeshque, you have been on my heart and I pray that you and your family are well.

Requests for prayers for my husband. He had his markers placed today so he can start on his radiation treatments.

Thank you.

I was doing okay before. I suppose it didn’t seem real. Now it feels real and I am anxious. I’m trying not to show my husband how concerned I am because I want to comfort him.

Need, yes of course I will continue to pray for you and your husband.

If he is anything like my husband, he would do better being a comfort to you and not being babied. I think it helps real men fight harder because they are the head of us and we need them in our lives to thrive. It is the natural order of things and helps build them up to know how much they are truly needed. (That's how it is at my home anyway.)

Are you giving him lots of vitamin c and probiotics? His system will need the immune help and doctors will not tell you about supplements to bolster his immunity.

I pray that he tolerates the treatments well and that you are both lifted up in God's grace.

Prayers for you and him, nhwm. It is a very difficult time. Reality can hit like a cold shower. Breathe deep and have faith.

https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/16322/jewish/Chapter-101.htm

I think that the scriptures The Lord layed on my heart were meant for you and your husband NEED.

Fear not!

Thanks so much, ITRR, Golden and Barb.

I know that the nurse spoke to him about nutrition, ITRR

My oldest daughter that has Chron’s knows more about probiotics than I do. I will speak to her about it. He takes vitamins.

Denise,
 I just wanted you to know that Simon and I have been praying for Brad and you. We are with you in spirit during this challenging time. Take care of yourself too 🙏

Be near me in my time of weakness and pain; sustain me by your grace, that my strength and courage may not fail; heal me according to your will; and help me always to believe that what happens to me here is of little account if you hold me in eternal life, my Lord and my God. Amen.

New King James Version
You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble!

New King James Version
“The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?

New King James Version
As it is written: “There is none righteous, no, not one;

The Lord God, speaking of sin.

The Lord God who gave us a Savior, Jesus, His Son.

I want to thank all of you for your prayers for my husband.

He had an uncomfortable doctor appointment to do the prep work for his radiation treatments. He is a bit sore.

Things are moving along. We will be so glad when it’s behind us.