smeshque Posted January 2018
Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?
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Not literally of course. But we heard Him through His word and we heard Him in nature and we seen him everywhere. I see signs if Jesus everyday in this life when I go out into the world and it lifts my heart knowing He is ever present.
I do not know if anything I have written is helpful to you.
My heart just goes out to you because I know your struggle, I have been through it and I want to send you a life preserver.
I will keep you in my prayers and may God give you the strength, patience, wisdom, understanding, joy and leads you in all truths.
I stopped complaining also because God was very clear about the children of Israel and their murmuring. So I know it can always be worse that is absolutely for sure.
Big Hug
NHWM- Oh friend, I hear your struggle and I have been there. When my parents moved here I was in my early transformation stage. I was just deciding that I wanted to do and live as God wants me to, i want HIS will to be my will. Do not get me wrong I will always be in transformation stage until God willing I enter the gates if Heaven and behold the glory of Jesus.
But friend, it was a huge struggle with me, caregiving and my faith. My human did not want to do this, i did not want to change my life, and accommodate others.
Moving my parents here, really tried my faith and I faultered for a bit, thinking I cannot do what God wants me to and not be complaining and miserable, I just did not know how.
For over 5 years now, i have read the bible and studied everyday, as well as when I lie down at that is the last thing I do before sleep.
Now sometimes I feel as though I am not absorbing anything, yet I never fail to keep reading and studying. Because at a later time, something I did not think I absorbed will come out of my mouth, which is from my heart. Because what comes out of our mouth is what is from our hearts. So even when we think we are not absorbing, do not give up, you are absorbing it it is going in your heart. The word of God is powerful and mighty, and so just keep filling yourself with it.
God is faithful and HE says if we lack wisdom, we ask for it, believe we will receive it and HE will give it.
After my Dad passed, I had a worse time. Questioning God, why, how, why oh why? But the clay does not ask the potter why have you made me thus? It is not for us to know Gods reasons, but to only trust as He says HE is working everything to the good of those who love Him and are called according to HIS purpose. HIS purpose, not ours, you see.
You can ask my husband, for a long while all I did was complain and was ever so miserable wondering how am I gonna do what is expected of me. To love and honour my Mom as I should and sacrifice myself doing so. I just thought it was so unfair. But I asked for wisdom and understanding and HE gave it. I do not complain and I am not miserable. At first when Dad died I distanced myself from Mom knowing if she passes I will totally fall apart. And I prayed so hard for God to remove that from me, and HE did. I now am able to love her like I should and to try and enjoy each day and moment, so that I have no regrets that I did not love her to the best of my ability.
We often go to God with our needs and requests and yet forget to just go to Him in thanksgiving and gratitude. My Mom use to say, if your praying and your prayers dont seem to be answered, then think what are you doing for Him?
God answers prayers, sometimes the answer is No. Sometimes our patience gets the better of us and we feel He hasn't answered but it is not HIS time yet to accommodate that prayer.
Faith is tough. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.
We must believe that what we ask in Jesus name will be given in God's time not ours.
I think some people lose faith in thinking God did not answer my prayers what is the point in praying.
That is sad. He knows what is best for us and he knows what we need to be molded into beautiful creatures, we often do not.
NHWM- Do not fear nor be dismayed, do not lose hope nor faith. God is faithful. I am a believer because I have seen Gods hand work in my life. Everyday I see a blessing and everyday I see God. He is all around us if we just look.
People think I am crazy when I say we do not have TV. We have not had TV for many many years now, i have lost track. But what I have found is once we turned that unecessary noise off, and this was before we really dedicated our lives to God, when we were just pondering it, but we truly started hearing Him.
Had several no shows, no replies. But the two most important ones I think as was her true surprise, stayed and visited her for almost 5 hours. So there was no need for a huge crowd. And they told her now that they know where she lives they will visit more. YAY!!!! They live a ways away so that was lovely. They are such a sweet and loving couple,
But the icing on the cake, was as the couple were heading out our mail arrived, late for a Saturday they usually run before 10 on Saturday so anyway the mail man pulled up in the driveway and honked. I went out and it was a package for Mom. From a Dear friend of mine. She has been a constant support system for me and one of the most beautiful souls one could be blessed to know. Well she sent Mom a birthday package with all these wonderful gifts that Mom was so thrilled about and just loved every one of them. And she sent such loving letter and cards to Mom. When the box was open I could just feel the love ascend out of it. Mom was most thrilled with that package and who it was from, than anything else of the day. Talking about it even as I said our good nights.
God bless that friend, for blessing me with loving Mom and giving her such joy.
And thank you all for your well thoughts, prayers and wishes.
“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”
Psalms 16:11
I like what Cmag said about coming to God, gripes and all. There have been times when I've prayed that I've been angry and frustrated and when I just pour my heart out to God, griping, the whole bit, not holding back, just being honest, I feel better, and I know that He understands. I used to think that I had to sound reverent when I talked to God, like it would be disrespectful if I told Him out loud how I was really feeling. But a good friend told me once, "It's okay, God can handle your anger, or whatever else." And He knows anyway, and I think just wants me to share my heart with Him and be honest.
Two scriptures that have helped me are, "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16)" and (I love this one!), "Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:23-24)" I've prayed the same prayer as that father in the story, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief." And I can just picture God telling me He loves me and putting His arms around me and hugging me.
I need a re-boot also: (struggling with a nasty darkness).
Was better after hearing the Word today, but miss having a church home.
Tomorrow's Sunday, (shud I go back 2 the Wesleyan church that I used to attend)? They had a scuffle & pastor left, but now have a new one. Most everyone I knew there has left, (& I hate going alone), but have to suck it up prob. Does it sound like a plan? I'm pretty desperate.
Thanks ahead of time.
I am a believer, as I know all of you are. Smeshque, I love your spirit, your warmth and encouragement to everyone. I enjoy reading your scriptures that you post. Sometimes I don’t feel like scripture is sinking in right now though.
I don’t even know if I am praying the right way. Sometimes I don’t even feel like praying. I feel like I am a broken record with God with my gripes. I want to show God more gratitude. We should be grateful even if we feel kind of blue. That’s hard for me. Any tips? Smeshque, do you have a scripture reference for me? Or just words from anyone’s heart.
Sometimes I get so confused and frustrated with situations. I start to doubt everything. How does everyone keep their faith strong? Does anyone struggle with their faith and not know exactly what to believe? I do at times.
I don’t think this is only about mom. I just feel sort of lost and a little blue right now. I need to get back on track to be more optimistic.
Have a great celebration with your mom.
Everything is ready for tomorrow.
I have the soups in crockpots slow cooking. I did, fiesta bean soup, cheddar broccoli, chili Verde and flour tortillas to wrap it in with cheese(i use to LOVE that), italian herb biscuits, pigs in blankets, will do salad in morning, and mom wanted sweet potato and pumpkin muffins so those are on the menu as well. I think that is all, but I am super tired to remember. :)
DH has been such a help today. He did all the yard work, in the rain for the most part, and the yard looks super, he ran to the store for me this night as I was on the verge of crying because I was decorating her cake and I needed another piping bag, so he ran and got what I needed while I did other things I needed to do, and then he helped hang the decorations.
So we are ready and I could not have gotten it all done without DH help this day.
I am sending AB to store in the morning for ice, I forgot or was actually too tired to pick some up.
Anyway, we will see how it goes. I am glad that I am getting to put my feet up at this time as I thought I would be up all night.
Thank all of you for your support.
“And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”
1 Corinthians 13:13
We are in flood weather, hope it doesn't throw off tomorrow too much, we shall see.
Only the Lord knows.
I'm glad the party is coming together so well and I'll be glad for you when it's all over too.Youv'e worked so hard to make your Mother's big day so special.Good job friend & God Love you~
Then DH and I decided to have it at a restaurant.
Now we are back to an open house.
I sent invitations early this week.
It was such short notice because we couldn't decide what to do. But the way things have been going we decided the open house was best for many reasons.
So, Saturday we will be having an open house birthday for her. I made her a 36 foot banner, to go around the dining room. I have gotten all her gifts, that I am going to get. I have been putting together a "love book" of letters from those near and far who she has known throughout the years. And at first I got no response. But then they have been coming in daily. YAY! I asked my brother to send one, he sent a card, no letter :( quite a disapointment but it is what it is. She will be quite surprised by the letters and the people that I know are coming by Saturday.
So far for Saturday we have 7 that will be here, tomorrow I expect to hear from the others whether they will or not.
So, maybe this is not quite birthdayish, ( I know not a real word) But I am gonna have a soup and salad bar and deserts. 3 different soups.
I am exhausted and the idea of cooking a bunch and then not that many people come, is not good. It isn't about the food anyway it is about the joy of the company that will be here to see her.
Then on Monday just the 4 of us will have chinese take out, play some dominoes and whatever she chooses after that, a more leisure day.
I do not want to rush it for her sake, but Saturday night I will be feeling much relief.
Let you all know how it goes.
Is the soup and salad bar a goofy idea?
“Thy faithfulness is unto all generations: thou hast established the earth, and it abideth.”
Psalms 119:90
Nehemiah 8:10
NHWM you are in my prayers
Matthew 18:21-22 21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "LORD, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Luke 17:4 4Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying 'I repent,' you must forgive them."
My Bishop taught on forgiveness and says, "God wants us to pray for our enemies is not just about the person were praying for, but it is for us because not only does it free us, but it also helps us to forgive the person who did us wrong."
For me, I pray for my mother and brother and slowly I am healing...letting go all that negative feelings. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I remember what Jesus did for me; therefore, I need to learn to forgive them...for their sake...for my sake...and for our Lord! I want to be a better person and become all that God created me to be.
I found your answer very touching. Thanks for explaining it so well. I appreciate it.
Let me ask you another tough question please. Love, it is possible to lose a feeling of love for others who hurt us. What scriptures about love have spoken to you and why?
I carried this way into my early 30's.
But after beginning to read my bible and gaining understanding there were some things I had to do in my journey to be like Jesus. Still far from that and will always be, yet I will continue to try.
But forgiveness was a hard one. But after I truly understood what our Saviour did for us, while we were yet sinners, while we will always fall short and fail in our journey to be like Christ, I knew I had to forgive. I prayed for a long time about it. I felt that if I forgave they won. But what haunted me was if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. Because all sin is equal in God's eyes, so what people did to harm me, and what I do daily in my shortcomings are equal. Both are a slap in HIS face for what Jesus did for us. So I knew that in loving our enemies and in forgiving so that we will be forgiven, that I must do it and do it willingly. Took a very long time. But I was able with God's help to do it. When I finally truly forgave, I would speak of it no more, I would not allow my choices to be a reflection of my hurt self. I wanted to walk the straight and narrow and in doing so I had no room to carry useless baggage. It freed me from the bondage of hate, and allowed me to be transformed into something better and who only wants to be better.
I have forgiven those that hurt me, and now I also pray that the Lord forgives them and does not hold it against them.
So forgiveness I believe is for us, the ones doing the forgiving, and in some ways for those we forgive to see the love of Jesus.
There is nothing in this life, no bad treatment, abuse, pain and hurt, that is worth our energy of holding on to it.
Forgiveness frees us and allows us to become a better person. It removes all power from those that cause the hurt.
there is nothing we can do to another that God cannot do more terribly. But truly we do not want the wrath of God to fall upon anyone. We may feel that way sometimes, but we must remove those thoughts from our hearts.
Maybe I am not making any sense, but whoever has hurt us in any way, it is so much easier to forgive than to carry it through life, trust me.
Matthew 6:14-15
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Romans 12:20
Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
No problem & you are very welcome. I am glad that I could help!😊
Okay, I see now. Thanks for being patient with me and explaining it so clearly.
I get what you are saying, but from a physiological point-of-veiw, no it is not about the other person (its about you healing--that's it); however, this is used for real pain and hurt. What you are talking about, you can forgive someone and it can be about them as well, but it might be so small that the other person may not even realize that they did anything to bother you. So, does it matter? Only you can decide! Figure out what is important to you.
For me, when it comes to real pain I forgive people and it is about me not being locked in pain with that person and letting go of the anger. When it is something small...well that depends on who it is and what it is about!
Just over the weekend my sig other was spray painting one of my gargoyle statutes and the wing broke sending it to the ground breaking the other wing and my sig other felt so bad! He told me that he was sorry, but I could tell that he felt terrible. I didn't tell him that I forgave him because there was nothing to forgive for. I just told him that it wasn't his fault because the statue had a weak spot...it happens...and that it was ok...I'll get another one. Don't know if that really made my point! Small things don't need forgiveness...because it won't matter in a thousand yrs...it won't change the course of one's life...You decide!
I do get that part but what I don’t get is isn’t it for the other person too? I’ve heard people say that it isn’t about them at all.
If I ask someone to forgive me. I would want that person to forgive me, for me as well as them. See what I mean? I don’t mean horrible things but small ordinary things that we all do. I truly do forgive others for them as much as I do for myself.