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MaryBee,
I understand this struggle. I tell myself that verse throughout the day, "Don't grow weary in well doing"
You are right God knows we are human(imperfect) and get tired.
And he will never forget our labor of love.
All we can do is do our best for our Loved ones, and try and take care of ourselves to be our optimum to help others.Easier said than done, I know.
Prayer and Faith is the only way I can get through my struggles.
Keep pressing on, don't lose hope and don't lose faith, don't stop praying.
God is our strength and refuge, a very present help in times of trouble.
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Smeshque, I prefaced my remarks by saying I'm not referring to anyone on here. I meant that.

You come across as only sweet and kind. If anything I think that maybe you are too hard on yourself at times.

I've been wanting to find a Church in my area that is welcoming but since I would be going by myself I worry about being judged.
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I also struggle with the feeling that I am not living up to biblical ideals. The one that gets me recently is the verse, “ do not grow weary in well doing.” I often feel weary! Then I remember the words of Jesus when he said, “cone to me, you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Nothing is hidden from God. God knows when we are tired, when we try really hard to take good care of our LO, but also need to take care of ourselves. And loves us through it all.
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Gershun- you are absolutely right. And I do hope to never come across judgemental or self righteous, if I have or do I am deeply sorry. That is not my intent nor feelings at all. I love everyone. We are all sinners and it is not our place to judge anyone.
I started this thread out of desperation and seeking thoughts from fellow believers on certain things. I did not start it to exclude anyone, for all is welcome here.
It was not right how you were treated by that Pastor. Whatever his deal was, was his own flaw and weakness. But he should not have made you feel that way and I am sorry that he did.
You are one of the people I love on here and for someone to make you feel bad makes me sad.
Hug
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On the other hand, those of us Christians who act pious and judgmental scare others off. I'm not referring to anyone on here but to those who take their walk with God and turn it into a crusade which excludes anybody who is only human and doing the best they can. Case in point: My experience with grief counselling. The Pastor leading the group made me feel like I had done something wrong. Not with anything he said but just this air of superiority that he gave off. I was wearing my snug jeans and my partially purple hair. I think he saw that and alarm bells went off in his narrow minded head. The first session he and I were standing by the coffee area. I had just poured my own coffee and leaned in to pour his. You'd think I'd tried to seduce him. Then there were other things he said and did.

I think as Christians if we want to witness to others and not scare them away we have to lower ourselves a bit. Jesus walked among the sinners. He didn't cross to the other side of the road to avoid them. This doesn't mean hanging out and sinning along side of them but it means not acting superior. We've all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We need to remember this.

When I witness to others I try really hard to speak in laymen's terms if you will.

Just my thoughts.
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Thank you Send.
It is true what you say.
That makes the fight harder each day as to not be a hypocrite. Not to do or say anything ungodly, but to try and truly be an Ambassador for Christ.
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Smeshque,
Your christian worldview matters.
 Why does a biblical worldview matter?
If we don't really believe the truth of God and live it, then our witness will be confusing and misleading. Most of us go through life not recognizing that our personal worldviews have been deeply affected by the world. Through the media and other influences, the secularized American view of history, law, politics, science, God and man affects our thinking more than we realize. We then are taken "captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ" (Colossians 2:8).
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Dear Smeshque, this is a good thread for people who want to think a bit more deeply about their experiences in caring. I really admire your dedication in posting so frequently that it always comes up on the daily feed. However the way it comes up each morning is quite frustrating. The Bible does NOT say to ‘put others before me’, and the secular world does NOT say to ‘put me first’. To celebrate your thousandth comment, could you start a new thread that encourages all of us to think more deeply?
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Llama,

Thanks. A tired angel, hahaha. Every caregiver is tired, right?
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Isthisrealyreal: Oh, what a beautiful discourse of words!
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NeedHelpWithMom: God bless you! You're an angel.
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Smehque: So sorry to learn of the loss of your dear friend. Sending many condolences.
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Thanks,

She’s trying hard. Home health again, so more OT and PT. I really don’t understand how elderly people deal with everything. Just read on someone’s posting that their mom is getting kicked out of AL with too many falls from Parkinson’s like my mom has.

Then she contacted a NH with skilled nursing and they say they can’t prevent falls either. It’s scary. Even if hospice is involved they can’t be there around the clock. Do people have to hire sitters 24/7? The rules surprised me.

I asked for bed rails for mom in the NH. I didn’t know bed rails are now considered restraints. Daddy had bed rails but that was a long time ago.

Caregiving is hard no matter what the circumstances, at home, facility, hospice, whatever situation.
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Isthisreal- Thank you. I would like to know that song. Great Motto

Thank you needshelp.
6 days a week for 3 weeks, that is alot. Your Mom is quite the trooper. You wouldn't think they did it that much, but that is good. Many of us would be tired from that.
Hope she is doing well.
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Isthisreallyreal,

Yep, that’s all we can do sometimes is place our trust in Him. It’s still hard. I feel like a failure at times, like I don’t have enough faith. Just a long journey and feels like no end is in sight. I can’t imagine how mom feels at this point. I would have wanted to die already. I took mom to the chapel in the nursing home recently while there for skilled nursing rehab.

A chapel is nice to have for people in rehab or the permanent residents. I always visit the chapel in hospitals too.

So many people suffer for so long. Others seem to breeze through life. You know what’s weird too? Mom never drank, never smoked, kept at a healthy weight, etc. We never know what lies ahead for us.

Smeshque,

Yep, we can’t help but think about things when sad things occur. Hard losing those we love and watching them suffer.
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Sorry about the loss of your friend. It’s hard losing someone special. They continue to live in our hearts and memories.

It is a relief not to see them suffering any longer. I think about that with mom. It’s hard to see her struggle to do her home health OT and PT. She’s a trooper and willingly does it. SNF said she gave it her all in rehab.

I had no idea how much exercise SNF did until mom’s experience with it. It’s a lot! Six days a week for three weeks.
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It's not about trying, but in trusting.
It's not about running, but in resting.
It's not about thinking, but in praying.

What you posted made me think of this song. He is working all things for your good. You are an inspiration in your walk with The Lord.

God bless and keep you!
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Got all the banking stuff done today for AB. So I can take care of his financial stuff. Glad to have gotten all that over with.

We lost a dear friend and sister in Christ today. I am thankful she is no longer suffering. I feel sad for her family. There is nothing like the death of someone you know, to really get you thinking.

Things are getting more bearable and manageable having the extra load, thank the Lord. I know that with HIS help I will get it all figured out. I am always just so afraid to learn I could have done something better. And that information rarely comes when you can do something about it, but only after there is nothing you can do about it. But it is what it is. I do my best and I trust that the Lord leads and guides me to do the right things.

I spent a long time praying last night, just giving it all to the Lord. Trying to make sure that he is not just my God, but THE LORD of my life and that I keep him on that throne. Because only in keeping HIM on that throne, will I know I am doing things the right way. So many times we get so busy and it seems to be so easy, not to forget God, but to forget that he is the Lord of our lives. And I so don't want to do that. Because I know when I keep HIM on that throne, I am able to provide the love and care to my LO's in a more meaningful and less burdensome way. It flows easier and I don't have to try so hard.
But the second I think I can do this on my own or think that I have the answers, sure enough I will stumble through my days.

I trust, I pray, I occupy, trying to fill in the gap.


Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2
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NeedHelpWithMom: You're doing just fine - I am sure. Sending many prayers.
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Frazzled & Smeshque: Thank you so much!
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Thanks everyone. I feel like I don’t always live up to challenges very well at times, even though I know I am trying my best. It’s just that mom needs a lot of care.

I do appreciate the inspiration from all of you. It’s comforting to me to know I can count on all of you for prayers. That means so much to me.
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Thank you Frazzled- You and your family are in my prayers as well. I hope you are doing well. And thank you for drawing my attention to the posters I did not see,

LLama- It will all be ok. He has you in HIS hands. All things work together for good to them that love the Lord.
Let Him be your strength.

Godguidesme- Balance is such a hard thing in life. Especially being a believer in this world. I thank you for your post and your helpful list. Many prayers for you and your DH. God knows our labour and will not forget the love we have shown.

Splendor- Thank you so much for that very true and encouraging post. All who believe need that reminder. If we could just keep that in our hearts and truly believe it we will do well.

Needshelp- I cannot say anything better than what Frazzled said. I welcome you, please feel free to share here anytime. I know it is difficult what you are going through. And the importance of church family. I do hope you reach out to the homebound ministry. It will be so good for you, and maybe uplift you in this difficult season. Will definitely be praying for you. Hang in there. I just want to repost what Splendor said for you to keep in mind, "Just know that trouble doesn’t last always and that joy does come in the morning. In other words this too shall pass!!! Long suffering is a fruit of the spirit. Ive learned in my own situation that it’s not enough to read the Word i have to genuinely believe it in my heart. So when God says that All things will work to my good because I love Him then I had to trust that my current situation, no matter how challenging will somehow work to my good. That’s what gets me through! Hope that helps you even a tad."
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Smeshque, continuing to lift up you and your family in prayer. I know it's been hard lately. Praying for His strength and encouragement with each day.

Llama, praying for peace and for speedy healing. And for good news on 8/7.

NeedHelp, I am so glad you posted here! You are not alone. It is hard feeling isolated when caregiving. Unfortunately, it is not at all uncommon. When mom lived with me, I was so tired all the time, trying to take care of her, my kids, and other daily things that needed doing, I hardly got out much and started missing my church family too. Having the home bound ministry visit sounds like a good idea. And even just staying in touch with church family through calls and texts and knowing you have others who know your situation and are praying for you helps too.

I will lift you and your family up in prayer. Keep coming back here too and let us know how you are doing. I've found a lot of inspiration from other posters here.
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Smeshque: Hopefully slight heart dx. Will know more on 8/7. Praying for you evermore.
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LL- Thank you For your kind words and prayers for me. I am grateful.
I hope and pray everything will be alright for you. Please know that you are loved. God will give you the strength that you need to endure what is in your path.
Do not succumb to fear and doubt, For we are not a hopeless people, We have much hope through Jesus Christ.
(HUGS)
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Thank you, Smeshque. Just got a tough dx. I am praying for this load to be lifted from you, in Jesus name I pray. Amen. Praise God for that sibling to contact your mom by phone.
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Dear Smeshque and friends of this awesome forum,
Thank you for daring to post the question: what does God say and what does the world say about “who we place first?” Do they give us opposite messages??
As all of you, I struggled finding a healthy balance along the way.
Here are some things that continue to help me:
🌸 Follow God’s lead and do loving things for your loved one AND for yourself.
🌸 Certain days are emotionally draining! On those days, I try in many ways to “ fill” my emotional tank, and get recharged to face things soon again!
—I sit 10-15 minutes quiet in the sunshine
—I say thanks to God, or tell him I cannot continue like this and this is HIS challenge. I unload the burden.
God can handle it and show us the way.
— I buy a lavender room midst
— I say something nice to a stranger
—I feed the birds
—I email a fiend just to connect
— I walk by a lake. It is very soothing
—I listen to soft, loving music
etc. etc. whatever works for each person
🌸 After I get calm and reenergized
I do find myself more loving and patient. The situation did not change. I did...
🌸 I think God wants everyone of us to be happy. There are parallel lives
at home, and separate goals set by God. We BOTH have needs, and we strive to help our loved one, while we know what WE need too.
🌸 I learned my limits. I respect them. I am learning to say “ no” once in a while when I feel pushed too far...
🌸 For me almost every day is different and yes I am faced with new challenges I have to figure out, since my husband’s Aphasia- dementia gets progressively worse.
I have accepted it to save energy.
I cannot change it but I create moments of pleasure, like walking in the park and singing, or going with him for ice cream, or whatever your loved one can still enjoy doing.
( the book Tuesday with Morrie comes to mind)
🌸 Yes I try to read “ Jesus Calling”
daily devotionals. VERY soothing for the soul.
🌸” Abide” a Christian app is undeniably VERY calming ( I think it is $ 39/ year from the App Store in-line)
🌸 I personally believe that God wants us to stay the course and honor our marriage, our Parents and our children, but honoring ourselves and keeping us healthy along the way is our responsibility too.
It is a daily balancing act.😊
The sun will come out again tomorrow!🌈
Hugs to you all heroes out there. Please do not be martyrs...
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Just know that trouble doesn’t last always and that joy does come in the morning. In other words this too shall pass!!! Long suffering is a fruit of the spirit. Ive learned in my own situation that it’s not enough to read the Word i have to genuinely believe it in my heart. So when God says that All things will work to my good because I love Him then I had to trust that my current situation, no matter how challenging will somehow work to my good. That’s what gets me through! Hope that helps you even a tad. 🙏🏽
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Not sure if I should even be posting here but I will jump in even though I feel awkward.

I will readily admit that I don’t usually visit this section.

I am a believer that does hasn’t been to my church in quite awhile because of caring for mom around the clock. While I appreciate mass on television it isn’t the same as worshipping in church and being part of a church family.

It effects me when I am unable to go and this is the longest amount of time I have been away (several months). I feel somewhat spiritually dry during this time. It isn’t like God isn’t in my heart but as I said I miss going to church. I was able to receive communion at the hospital recently when mom was admitted. I really should call my parish and arrange for communion to be brought to us by the home bound ministry.

Going through some challenges. Am a little down. Could use some prayers. May I ask for prayers for my family and support from this group please? I would appreciate it. Thanks in advance.

I will pray for all of you and burn a candle for all of you whenever I am able to attend mass again. I promise.
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Thank you LLama, am praying for you.

So as you most know my siblings have had nothing to do with my parents since they moved with me about 5 years ago. With the exception of one brother who is in and out with contact. But anyway, My oldest sister has been texting my Mom. For a couple of weeks now. And yesterday they talked on the phone. It seemed to be a pleasant conversion from this end. My Mom was so filled with joy yesterday becaus eof this. Which fills me with joy. There was no mention of visiting or anything like that, but maybe just maybe a new beginning of her having a relationship with Mom. I do not want anything from her, and I do not wish a relationship with her. But I wish she would have one with Mom. I know it means so much to Mom. Because about every 6 months to a year we go through this whole thing about why they don't speak to her and such, and I know it hurts Mom. But she is so strong and tries to get over it. but I know there is no getting over your children not speaking to you when you have done nothing but good to them. So anyway, I hope she will be in contact with Mom more.


“The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.” 
Psalms 121:7
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