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Lisa I hope Doug can take her you have been through so much you need to detach-your experiences have for some reason brought back all of my childhood but it is not making me go into the dark hole this time I have decided yes those things happened but I can be a happy person anyway and just keeo myself busy and relate to people in my life now and take my power back from the past.
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...it's almost over ... it's almost over ... it's almost over ... it's almost over ... it's almost over ...
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It's just not possible for Doug to get away from the office in the morning. So I've sat here and had me a nice cry. I can do this. I really thought this part of the clean up was done when the sister died. I read the text messages and there were quite a few threats and name calling. Love the "fat ass". Ha! I know my ass is wide. Dumbass. He's gonna have to do better than that. Now if he calls my dog ugly? Game on little boy. Hahahahaha, I'm breathing!!!!!
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Lisa: This is the nephew? And he is still texting nasty things to you? He must really be strung out. If he is back on the drugs, and it sounds like he is, then he has a pretty grim future. Too bad for his child. Maybe your mom is lucky he didn't pick up her stuff. She'd probably have to start calling all the pawn shops to see if she could track it down.

Ok, is the room cleaned out of all her belongings? At least you can start doing something positive in the bedroom. I know you can do this. No doubt about it. Hope he doesn't call your dog ugly. You have a wicked sense of humor, Lisa. I love it.

True to form, nothing has been easy or quick, but it is coming to an end. Just a reminder about the locks or extra security precautions. Nephew could be a concern if he needs money for drugs.

Love and Hugs, Cattails
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No cat, haven't heard from him today. His last text was sent at like 4:58 a.m. She called and said he called her at 10 a.m. And told her he's taking the day off tomorrow and bringing the police to get her things. Snicker snicker, snort snort. I've alerted chapel house when we were there about his situation. No keys will be handed over to him and he'll be escorted off the property. When she gets there wed the social worker will insist she get an epo against him. Social worker will even take care of court appearance. She told Doug and I this isn't unusual. She has on file 22 epos against tenants relatives. So my work is done there. get her to the bank, social worker will take care of cas.
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Lisa I read this post on and on grew fast but think ive never posted but wow soo glad to get caught up today & see she is gone and like jeanniegibs said it best..... its almost over its almost over..... You hang in there for those kids & sounds like great hubby!!!!! Take cats advice Be careful with that nephew he probaly thinks she has medication there. or like cattails said money for drugs.
In our community we just lost a 30 year old to pills. Ive known his mother & him for close to 20 some years & his mom is a ER nurse & he has been abusing rx pills since a car wreck like when he was 16 He was found dead friday took too much found by his mother. I got on my facebook because my neices & me are friends with him He had just asked me to be friends & just signed up for fb since he lost a friend that passed at age 30 like 3 months ago . Well My neice told me to read what this other college educated married father of 2 boys.. 30 year old posted that since 2010 here in our community he has now lost 6 friends age 29 to 30 from overdose of prescription pills. My neice lives out of town one reason is she was a part of this crowd about 10 years ago & got her life straight & as I read the facebook post I rembembered these kids because Id see there obit. & txt my neice did you know so n so and 6 have died. WOW This is INDIANA Im sure its worst other places but the weird thing is they all 6 grew up together like best friends. SO SAD!
Good Luck Lisa Ill keep reading....
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Thanks tb, and I have her Meds in my possession. They will be handed to her when she's released from nursing facility.
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Snicker Snicker, Snort Snort....you crack me up. By the way, what's an EPO? Also, I'm still wondering who is going to move her stuff. Do you think nephew will really show up....with the police no less. Snicker Snicker. So you have to take mom to the bank and then what, drop her off at her new place? Can you drop her on her head?

Tbailey: Always good to hear from you. Lisa is such a good example of someone who takes charge and, step by step, kicks the necessary butts and gets the job done. So sorry to hear about the young people in your community.

Hugs to all, Cattails

PS: Still wondering about Rebecca. Her mom was really mean to her at Mother's Day and hurt her deeply. She is a very sweet soul.
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An epo is an emergency protective order. Had to take her to get one when my sister died and I moved her here. That was against the other nephew. Police had to come when cas removed him from her home. It's this nephews brother. Now he is the scary one. The detective said when a person like him is cut off from their money source, their violence would escalate. Well his did. Mugged a woman at knife point and stole her wallet. Not so surprising considering mom and the sister raised them together. My niece was the strong one and took my advice. She got away from them years ago and is doing wonderful. Sigh....you know the saying there's one in every family? Ha! More than one in this family.
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I've texted on rebeccas too. I'm praying.....
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OMG: Somehow I missed a whole flipping page of posts. So now I understand, Lisa, that you have already moved your mom's stuff ,etc., etc. You sure got a lot done today and I am so happy for you. Tomorrow is another day, but nothing compared to the past. Gee, how sweet of mom to apologize to you.
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(((((((((((Lisa))))))))))))) I know about the PTSD. Do look after yourself, and get this accomplished in whatever way is easiest on you. Having said that, I know any contact with your mum is not easy, but it is necessary to get this done. Then, hopefully, you can wash your hands of her. Earlier, someone suggested counselling. I don't know if you have had any in the past. I have and it helped. You certainly have created a wonderful family despite all the troubles in your life, and that speaks of your strength, ability to overcome obstacles, and, more than anything, your ability to love, even in the face of abuse. You truly are one of God's miracles. Know my heart and prayers are wilth you, as you continue your journey .
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
Joan
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Heal, feel good about yourself. You've done your best, she won't be helped unless she helps herself. Get her out and get some rest. My prayers are with you. Bless you for all you did for as long as you could, and that is good enough. I know how broken you feel, it will get better, I promise.
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So, this morning you are dealing with your Mom, and I'm sending good vibes your way. So are many others.

Is therre any utility in doing basic grocery shopping for her BEFORE you pick her up? Then you can stock the basics...and really, who cares if she doesn't have the exact potato chips she wants, or whatever. Then your time with her is more limited. Shop the minimum, unpack it. Go get her, unpack her on the curb and let the facility deal with the rest. Tell the facility to aren't on call for groceries. You aren't to be listed as the emergency contact, you are done.

Holding space for you to be through this next gauntlet. And sending love.
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Sending positive energy your way, Lisa. Good luck. Keep strong. You'll do just fine. You always do.
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Ooooh... I like the idea of you going ahead and doing the basic shopping first and then letting her and the facility figure out how she will get supplies in the future. My dad keeps my sisters on the hook for his supplies...and he uses that as an excuse to call them or ask to be gotten out of the nursing home etc. At times, they've had the facility do his shopping but then it eventually reverts back to them....so this is another warning to be proactive--find out who handles shopping (social worker, activity coordinator, etc), get their name/card and give it to your mom. Tell her when she needs anything more, to contact THAT person.

YES....make sure you are not the emergency (or any other kind of) contact unless you really want to be. Them calling with every bit of drama will also serve to keep you involved --sometimes I wonder if my Dad does the things he does just so my sisters WILL be called. They can't make you be the contact...she might even go ahead and list you, if they ask her, so you need to tell them in no uncertain terms that you will NOT be receiving any calls. If they need to know who else to call--not your problem...anyone but you or members of your immediate family.

RE the nephew texting until your battery died. Can you not block his number????? Even temporarily if you don't want to do it permanently. Have you considered forwarding a good sampling of those texts to your email account so you can reproduce them if necessary (like if you need an order of protection from him for your own family?) I knew in my bones that having him do anything was going to be trouble down the road... but at the time, it did provide a diversion away from you and your family taking care of her, so I guess he served his purpose. Is he STILL working at Dougs, now? He needs serious help, too. Scary how many people close to you have issues. Sends me back to my wonderings that there is something genetic happening here that manifests itself in the form of addiction.

Anyway, be strong and be careful not to let yourself get tangled in her desperate attempts to hook you back in. Now that nephew is gone, you are all she has and if she has any sense at all, she's going to realize that and try to make amends...it's SO hard because we all want to believe it is for real and sincere. To some extent it *is*, but it's usually not honestly motivated...but rather for survival.

Please be careful of the nephew...I know you love him and want to think better of him, but he has allowed himself to be ruled by something dark and scary and you need to think about him in that way for now and protect yourself and your family.

Sending you hugs...xo
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Hi everyone what a day. Don't have the time now but when I get home in a couple of hours I'll fill you in. Here's a hint: 2000.00. My love to everyone!!! Lisa
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Storage unit: $350. Pre-paid utilities: $700. Security deposit: $1000.00

Being Free of Mama: PRICELESS.

That's my guess. Sending love!
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Can't wait to hear! Been thinking about you ALL DAY!
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Once again I am not getting notifications of post from AC this is a shame because we can not help each other if we do not know there are posts.
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Austin: Same with me and I missed a whole page on this site and was confused. I use the newspage to see what is going on and then you have to back track, which I messed up on, because you don't come it at the same place you left.

Lisa: I can't wait to hear the news.

Jane B: Loved your post.

Hugs to all my sweet and amazing friends. Cattails
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I'm home and showered and relaxing. Haven't stopped since I got out of bed at3:45 this morn. Are you ready? I get there to pick her up and she's in a nasty mood. All the way to bank foul language outta her mouth about nursing staff. Enter the bank. She walks right into a woman's office who handles personal banking. No waiting for her. I follow and tell her to ome bank out and wait. Woman winks at me and says it's ok. I'm thinking when this little meeting over that wink is gonna turn into a twitch she'll have for days. Mom tells her the delimma and she pulls up her account. She's thinking she will find the six 100.00 withdrawals. She says mam, I'm sorry but it's much worse than that. Ok, I'm sorry but I have to. Snicker snicker, snort snort. He made eleven 100.00 withdrawals. Filled nine gas tanks, pizza hut, Texas roadhouse, etc. Total of $1982.00. Shit hit the fan. I told the woman you may want to take her in your soundproof vault. And true to form, out came the vulgar language. That poor woman's face was so red, security came running thinking I'm sure she was gonna hit her with her walker and the whole time she's looking at me like I've lost my mind. I'm laughing so hard tears are running down my face. I hold my hand up to intercept the officer and told him give it a minute. She's running outta breath and she' have to turn the oxygen up. So they get her calmed down. The bank officer ask if I would call the cas unit. Oh good lord, I have to cross my legs, thinking I should have taken the dr up on the offer to tighten my bladder. So I tell her oh no. But I will give you the number. She called it and left a message for torri. Then she called the men in blue. They filed the report. Bank sent a security officer from their main office. Again I couldn't help myself. I snapped a picture with a caption" I fought the law, and the law won" (love that song) and sent it to the nephew. Even the cop was laughing.
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There's more. During all this I look over and there's my niece who's mom committed suicide. She seen the officer run in during the commotion and watched it all. She ran up and hugged me. Said karma sucks don't it? She was worried about me because I had to be there during her shameful outburst. Then she said does this mean it's safe to come over? That brought me back to earth. I told her every single day if u want baby girl. Well, I'm minus a bed. He told me he took her to buy one last Thursday and it was being delivered today. No bed. So what the heck else. I'll tell ya;) he has her commode chair that goes over the toilet. I've always believed you reap what you sow. She sure is reaping
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I think that you and Doug could have that LI tea now.
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And don't we all just love her favorite child with the debit card..... oh, I can't stop laughing.... Karma's a bitch and then sometimes you find out you ARE one....
Sleep good Lisa, sweet dreams...
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Oh, my gosh... I laughed out loud at your description of the bank adventure. I'm a little worried that the nephew will retaliate. The "I fought the law" picture is classic, but I hope it doesn't make him go nutty. I'm smiling for you. I'm smiling for me. Hell, I'm smiling for everyone who's been following this thread worrying about you! Its a good day, Lisa. Glad you have your life back. And, karma is a beautiful thing, especially when it whips around and bites someone in the ass with a debit card.
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You started out by telling us that you took your mother in (no choice) when she was $2000 overdrawn. And now you are telling us about the nephew who took her to the tune of $2000 on her debit card.

Does that number have a special significance in your family?
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This is my favorite. "I follow and tell her to come back out and wait. Woman winks at me and says it's ok. I'm thinking when this little meeting over that wink is gonna turn into a twitch she'll have for days." Lisa, you are a physic!!!! hahahahah, breath, hahahha. Love, Cattails
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Apparently it does Jeanne. And the reason the boy wouldn't bring the card back is because he couldn't. The idiot kept trying to get more after the card was reported stolen and the ATM at bb&t bank kept the card. So it would have been so much more.
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Wow! Karma IS a bitch, isn't it? I'm wondering what happens to nephew when Doug gets hold of him. And good riddance to that bed she slept in all those months. Anyone else who ever slept in it would be dreaming bad dreams.
Now you can start decorating. Film your own reality show, "I Used To Hate My Guestroom." then you can post it in YouTube and we can see the transformation in the room and in YOU as things progress.
Thanks for keeping us posted. I love the invisible but real web of sisters supporting you through this!
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