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Woooohooo! I have to agree with you, Lisa - you need to go out to dinner. No more from the nephew? Or, would they even tell you at the AL facility if he came around?
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Thanks cat. Glad your dad is doing well
Lisa. How wonderful that they are finally getting the picture - let's hope it lasts, I think it will
Kim, thanks, Enjoy the surf and the sounds. I have survived this long and will longer. Had a great lunch with a friend who left many bouquets of roses on Gordie's bench over the years. We laughed till I hyperventilated! It was good.
Jeanne - very aptly worded, as always
Judy thanks for the hug and message
I am very grateful for everyone here - you touch me in ways of which you are not aware.
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Ok, I've apparently done something when I changed my name? Judy, I have no idea why you couldn't post on my wall? Anyone know what I can do to fix it? Remember girls, according to Jen I'm a computer dinosaur:(
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Okay, Lisa, I'm a big, giant bonehead when it comes to this kind of stuff...but here's what I think will fix it. Go to the "Edit Account" block right next to the News Feed block under your avatar on your profile page. When you get into that Edit block, look for the About Me settings. There's a Wall Posts line that you can set to private or public. I think yours must be set on private? That's my guess as to what to do, but, I'm a bonehead and you're a computer dinosaur, so between us, we could be totally wrong and have no clue! What a pair!
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Ok, Judy! I'll try it. Geesh, where's bookworm when you need her? :)))))
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It should work -
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I've set it to public. Hope that works. Thanks Judy!!!
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Ok, I'll keep looking at my wall. Go ahead Judy:)
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It's working now....I just thought you wanted privacy when you changed your name!!... :-)
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No bookworm. Heeheehee. Darn near gave up changing my name. I'm hopeless. :))))))
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Moving her in was your first mistake, you should have just gotten a power of attorney and moved her into assistive living where there are trained professionals ready and wlling to deal with her nasty ways....my mother is miserable to be around and I only have to deal with her without living with her, I cannot begin to imagine how stressful it must be for you
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Caregiver1963, you might really enjoy and benefit from reading this entire thread. It is the story of a daughter who, as you observed, made the mistake of moving DQ (drama queen) into her home, and how she learned to take charge of the situation and move her out. From other posts I see that you are having trouble setting boundaries with your own mother. Lisa's experiences shared here, and all the encouragement she received along the journey may really be worth reading in your situation.
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Caregiver 1963: Lisa's mom no longer lives with her and Lisa did not want to be her mom's POA. A very wise move on Lisa's part. No reason to be tied to a crazy abusive person via POA and have everyone in the world calling you about her antics and problems. I hope you are making progress with setting those boundaries with your mom and insisting that she hire help and give you and your children a break.

For those here who don't know C1963: She works full time, has an autistic child and another with ADHD. Her mother does not live with her, but is extremely demanding and shows no empathy for her daughter's health or welfare. C1963 recently had a cancer scare; but her mom's demands never lightened. Her mom can afford to hire help, but doesn't want to or the people leave because she is so difficult.

C1963 is a single mom and just in the process of trying to limit her responses to her mom's numerous daily demands.

C1963, if you want to add anything, feel free. If you have time, go to the beginning of this thread and read all of it. It's an education and you will become familiar with the posters aka (The Kick Ass Girls) and you will see how Lisa made tremendous progress. You might learn a few things from this story. Not exactly your circumstances, but you will learn non the less. Hugs, Cattails
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Cattails I am setting boundaries the problem is her erratic behaviours and unpredictable reactions...you take her into McDonalds and its like taking a 2 year old child who has no manners in public. I am probably starting to sustain burnout so my tolerance level is down, but I will tell you having this board to vent on and reading others having the same situation is a great coping tool...wish me luck tomorrow I take her to the bank...it's going to be a very LOOOONNNNGGGGG day and oh the visions of walking away and leaving her there for the teller to deal with is filling my head lol
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C1963, I'm sorry what you are going thru with your mom. If your situation is even a quarter what I went thru as a child and then as a 48 year old woman who had to evict her mom from her home you will greatly benefit reading the advice and tremendous support I received here. It wasn't just me. My husband and 2 daughters (grown but still in my home) needed me to be the wife and mother I was before DQ moved in. My daughter, Jennifer, named the women here the kick ass girls. because you see, my whole family drew strength and hope from these women. Please don't ever let your situation grow into what mine was. I'm going to pop over and read your story in the morning. Hoping I can get a good nights sleep. Been a long week. Good night my dear friends. Lisa
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Good night, Lisa! I'm going to turn in pretty quick here too. Welcome aboard, C1963! I read some of your story on another thread... can't remember which one. I think our moms just may be related. I'll look for you around the site. Going to drag my sorry butt to bed now. Its been a day. My brother says that every day is a gift. Well, I think I've said it before, but if this day was a gift, I'm sure it was a turd in a box with my name on it.
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C1963: Lisa has some good stories about taking her mom to the bank; Holy s***, please read the thread. Sorry Lisa, I am LMAO just thinking about her banking episode. Snicker Snicker Snort Snort. We should all re-read the thread again some day and then swap stories about the most funny/horrifying parts. Remember when you and Doug were locked in your bedroom and she was swearing like a sailor and pounding on your door late in the night. And when she called APS on you. Awe, those were the days. It was like a soap, "How the world turns around Mother". Epidsode 246, Mother goes to the bank. Etc. It's funny in a twisted way, but I will never be able to joke about how she treated you as a child. Never. Only thing about the childhood that could have given me a smile is if I would have been there, strangling her sorry ass on the spot.

Hope I'm not anonymous by tomorrow. Love to all of you, Cattails
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Caregiver, I too recommend reading Lisa's thread from the beginning. When I first started reading her story, it was in June and it has nothing to do with my situation.
I have to re-read Lisa’s thread because when I first read it, it was so fascinating, that I forgot to take notes on the great advices and the funnies! (I keep notes by making a Microsoft Word File on my desktop entitled: Words of Empowerment. I put down good advice AND Funnies here...Example: " Deleesher, bf and mom w food in mouths (So Funny!), then I put the webpage=2385" )

Since Lisa’s thread is very long, I can recommend you to do this. When done reading for the day, click on the top where it has the website “http://www.ag...” Click on it, copy (control + C) it and paste it (Control + V) on one of your Word File. Then, when your’re ready to continue where you left off, go to the Word File, copy the webpage and paste it on the website. Tada! You are now on Comments 888. Rather than going to First, then clicking on Next, Next, Next, Next, etc....
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Bookworm: You are the bomb!!! One really tech savy chick!!!! Still don't understand how you do that. Please explain again. Slower this time. HeeHee Cat.
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First make your file on DESKTOP. Most computers have a Microsoft Word (it's a square box with the Big "W" on it.) Click on it to open a New File. It opens completely blank. This is where you will put your notes on. When done with notetaking on the very First time, you will Save it. click on the top left: FILE...Then SAVE AS (a Save As box opens up)..then type your title, example: Funnies of AC or Great Advice of AC...*** Make Sure When you Save it at the same time with the Title, that you Click on DESKTOP.*** Otherwise, every time you want access to it, you have to do so many clicking. Whereas if you save it on your desktop, it's easily accessible.

Now, you're ready to copy/paste from AC. You see the top of this page "A http//wwww.ag....." ? Tap on it once (it becomes highlighted). Hit the CTRL (control) button on your bottom left side of the keyboard with your left finger At The Same Time, hit the letter "C" (C for Copy) with your right finger. (After a while, when you become proficient, you can do Cntrl +C with one hand.) Now you have copied the website info on top of this page.

Go to your Microsoft Word File on AC on your Desktop (if you saved it here, that is), and press: Cntrl (control) button at the same time the letter "V" to paste it. Very important. Once you paste it and it appears on the blank page, Hit ENTER.

I put commentors on the first line. For example: Deleesher on the first line. bf and mom with food in mouth (Very Funny!!!) is on the 2nd line, then the webpage is on the 3rd line. This makes it easier to find my notes. So, if I remember that cat said something, I can quickly look on all the 1st lines for cattails. or if I want the bf and mom with food in mouth, I look on the 2nd lines. When it becomes too many, I will just open a New File and entitle it for example: Funnies of AC. For now, I have ALL of it in one file.

Hope this helps!
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P.S...I paste my notes based on alphabetical order. So cattails comes before Deleesher. etc...

For threads that I'm currently reading that is long, I put that on the way top of the page for easy find. I currently have 3 open. I separate these current Readings from my Notes by putting this =========== between the 2.
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Lisa and the "kick ass girls, I must say WOW. I started reading from the top on thursday, read way into the night ( like a bestseller novel" and read most of Friday, before I finished to the present. This should be a book as others have, said. Well written. Funny and sad. My heart goes out to you Lisa and all the other that have Gone through this kind of torment. And it is still unfolding. The love and support is unsurpassable. The funny and witty things just priceless. I will continue to keep up with "as the world turns around mother". I'm so sad you went through this kind of childhood. But so proud you rose above it you are a rock that your family, nieces ands nephews can count on. An unbelievable story that is told with a sense of humor that makes you shine as the heroine.
So sorry about your PILs. I pray the best comes out for all your family. I will continue the saga. You are an awesome human being.
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Bookworm: Thanks for the very clear directions. You are amazing. Hugs, Cat
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Thanks, cat. I tried to originally take notes by index cards. My hands got tired of writing plus I had difficulty reading my writing. So, I decided to do it on DESKTOP. Once in a while, when I feel I need to laugh, I always pull up deleesher's account. I still find that soooo funny.

There was several good ones from Lisa's which I would like to include on my Funny notes.

I'm glad to help other caregiver's save time by trying to find that ONE comment that you found as a "gem". This note-taking way is Less Frustrating in trying to find that..."which thread did I read it from? What week was it mentioned on?"
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Hi girls! Well it's not looking good for the kids house. The sellers bought the home from 2 elderly sisters who live together for 30 years after their husbands passed. They finally had enough and put theirselves in NH. How sweet is that??? So this man got the house dirt cheap and flipped it. What they did with inside is gorgeous. Well it failed inspection. Most serious being electric. It's hard to explain, but their were no permits for the electrical work they did, so therefore no inspection sticker. They had the washer draining out under the deck outback. They sat at table tonight with their realtor and drew up new contract, with Doug even offering to do the electrical at cost. Needs new roof. Insulation. So they are braced for not getting house. Their young and I'm so proud of them. They will not buy a money pit. Jen was crying last night. And I understand why. The house is adorable. But who knows? If he refuses I ask Doug if there's a way to put a bug in one of the state inspectors ears that he deals with daily. the house is a fire waiting to happen.so I'm sure they will hear something in the next few days.
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((((Lisa))))) I do hope this goes through for them. What a shame the sellers didn't do the job right the first time. Hopefully one way or another it will get fixed and they can buy it.
bookworm - you get top marks - I taught a low level computer course for years - your explanations are excellent
golfbhard - glad to see you here - hope you are doing better
hi cat -i will get back to you
austin i have missed you -
everyone have a good weekend. thunderstorm/tornado looking sky here ((((((hugs)))) Joan
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Oh my...thank you bookworm, for mentioning deleesher...I searched the site and got her first post...my children came into the living room to see what I was laughing so hard about! So far I only read her initial post......I am off to read some more! LOL
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Hi everybody, Lisa, sorry to hear the house has problems, but glad they know not to buy a moneypit! So frustrating for them though, since they were excited and the inside looks so good. Loved B'Worms lesson-girl u can write a book too! Joan hope u made it thru storms ok. We had quite the storm here today too! Roads were flooded over peoples tires. Of course I was out in it, running errands- thought I'd have to pull over! I don't drive through standing/ rushing water; found some high ground in turning center lanes. Golf-hope your feeling better. Thanks for reading lisa's thread and the nice comments; sumpin special goin on up in here, as they say in the south!! Luv to all. Proud to be a KICK ASS WOMAN....kimbee
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Caregiver-I am so sorry for what you are going through-look around for a caregivers support group-many hospitals have them-our senior center started one lead by two social workers that meets twice a month -some of us former caregivers attend and I think we are able to help those going through it now. If you have an office for the ageing in your county call them and ask if they have a group that meets-I was in one when my husband was alive and it helped me so much. Emjo I missed our group so much while I was away.
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((((austin)))) we have a sisterhood, a girlfriend gang, a wisdom of women

When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed.
But when we are silent, we are still afraid.
So it is better to speak.
~ Audre Lorde

I'm not afraid of storms,
for I'm learning to sail my ship.
~ Louisa May Alcott

There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. ~Madeleine Albright

We need 4 hugs a day for survival.
We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance.
We need 12 hugs a day for growth.
~ Virginia Satir

Here we share and care and give ((((((((hugs))))))). It is what we were created to do.
J
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