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Sending you love and prayers and strength my dear friend!
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Beautiful prayer cat - thank you for sharing
(((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) and prayers for you. Know that God's timing is perfect, and that you have fulfilled the job He set before you. May your dad pass easily into his everloving arms, and may you rest in the comfort only He can give.
Love, Joan
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Cat, if not too late--I hope you get to slip your arms around your dad and give him a hug and a gentle "I Love You" in his ear...this is something I did not get to do, but my brother got to tell him it was "ok" for him to go. I know hearing is the last sense to go and as someone who walked out of the hosp. room only to be returning but being intercepted in the hallway with a "he's gone" I can say that after 16 yrs. of his being gone, that was my only regret, that I didn't take him in my arms one last time and say "Dad, I always loved you so much." My prayers and heart go out to you!
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Punch maybe you did not get to say it one last time but you showed it in how you were with him while he was alive-I stayed with my husband most of his last few days but the night after the life support meds were stoped the nurses asked us to step out for a few min. whild they did cares for him and were able to call us back in when his heart rate was down to 10 and I know from being a nurses and seeing many people die very often like in most of the time they do leave us while the nurses are caring for them and I think that is what they want to happen so please do not feel bad.
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Punch: I see my dad everyday and I hug him and tell him I love him. Thanks for your kind words. I think your dad knew where your heart was and felt your love.
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You know girls, I have thought all day of the outpouring of love others have for their parents. And more importantly how much that love is returned. And how blessed I am to have my PIL. It actually frightens me to think of when the time comes we lose them. I have the love of 2 parents. They have filled that void in my life. I've said that tonite to Doug and the kids. I guess I just needed to say that to all of you tonight. I am so loved and so are all of you my dear friends!!!
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Cat, I am sending you a hug, as I know how good a few hugs can feel to you at this special time. That same night my dad died, we all went back to their house to start discussing my father's funeral, and in was Nov. It was not very cold outside, but I can still remember feeling really cold, and particularly feeling the chill in my stomach. It was so strange, feeling so cold, and I kept asking others if they were cold too and everyone said no. I really believe that my father's spirit was surrounding me. Because it was a feeling unlike anything else I'd ever felt, I've researched it. I had the sense that my father's spirit was in that room and I was sensing him, but that's as good a job I can do in putting this into words, because really, I can't. I was always "daddy's girl" and I think he had his presence known to me, on more than one occasion, after he died. I don't think the connection ever really breaks and that they live through you. Still miss him very, very much.
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Cat, prayers for you and Dad.... I was able to be with my mom in the end.... and sounds like you are doing just what the two of you need.... as much as we want them to be here forever, I absolutely understood how tired my mom was, and the most loving thing I could give her was to let go.... and as Judy shared, that connection is forever, not just here on earth....so as we are all here for each other for the day to day stuff, we are especially here for this part.... prayers for God's outcome.....
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Punch: Trust your gut on your dad's spirit connection with you. Makes perfect sense to me and I'm glad you sense it and hold it close.

Ladee: Appreciate it. Thank you.

I was with dad most of today. No big change. Chest xray this morning. One brother coming this Sunday. He seems to like that I am feeding him his meals. I take him to a private family room, so he's out of the dining room. Some staff stopped by to talk to me. These are staff from when my dad was in rehab. Some of my favorites. They are not so much involved in his care right now, but they know me and they know him. I'm a little pissed about a couple of things and I mentioned them to my staff friends today, in my dad's presence. I don't talk loud, but I think he gets something of the conversation. Maybe he just thinks, "There's my bossy daughter, telling people what she thinks; bringing me special food and asking me questions." Whatever, it seems to give him comfort. I can see he feels safe when I am there fussing over him.

He eats more for me. Lungs sound bad. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Love, Cat
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just saw on facebook - posted nearly an hour ago that Lisa's mil had a heart attack. Lisa is asking for prayers.
We never know what life will bring...
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Hi Joan: Just saw it too. Lisa, we are all praying for your MIL and holding you close to our hearts. I'm so sorry. Sending you love and white light. Love, Cat
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Cat~I am so sorry your father is not well. Please know you are are in my thoughts(((((((hugs))))))) to you and your family!!!
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Lisa~You are in my thoughts always and I am thinking about you, your family and your MIL! Bless you♥♥♥!!!
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Thank you for the prayers girls. Please keep them coming. Mary is in critical care on the heart unit. My sister in law pulled in from Alabama to see the ems bringing her out. Still don't know how much damage to her heart. We took my fil home and put him to bed. He's in shock and of course so upset. Sil staying with father in law and then after they get some rest they'll head up and we'll come home and try to get some rest. None of this seems real.
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I am so sorry Lisa, prayers for everyone...and lots of hugs
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Oh Lisa, I am so sorry to hear, keeping you, Doug, Mary and rest of family in prayer. We all love and care for you. Hoping you feel God's comfort and healing as you care for your special family. This must be so hard. When you have a minute, post us a quick update. Love, hugs and Prayers, From kimbee and your new sisters, and stand-in moms. Wish we could be there to give you real hugs and live support. Love u Lisa. Kim
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more prayers done
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Cat, we are there with you too, in spirit and love. We're glad you can give your dad your special care and that it is comforting him. God hears your prayers and we add all of ours for peace and comfort. We love you friend., kimbee
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I got my third antibiotic this week, it seems to be helping. DH came home to care for mom. When he went back to work, Mom & I took nap; woke to an odd noise-she fell again, but by God's miracle she wasn't hurt. Hubby had to come back to help get her up. What a day. Now we r adding Pt to reduce fall risk. Luv n hugs to all. Been missing you so much. Luv n hugs and PRAYERS TO U ALL, kimbee
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Lisa I am so sorry about your MIL -I hope she makes a recovery-you are in our thoughs and prayers. I just found out yesterday my Aunt Helen-95-lives alone fell at her home and fractured her hip-I do not think she will be able to go back home this time but we never know she did recover last year with a fractured leg.
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Lisa: More prayers heading your way. We are with you and your family.

Kimbee: I hope you get better soon. You've been sick way to long with this bug. Glad your mom is ok.

Keeping watch over all of you. Sending love and God's angels. Cat
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Lisa, Lisa... Sending positive energy your way - the warmth of your invisible friendship makes me smile and has been such a comfort, this past month, especially. Your family will be in my thoughts today. xxxoo, J.
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Lisa, hugs to you and to your family in this difficult time. I hope for the best possible outcome, even though I don't know what that would be.

Life is full of twists and turns, isn't it? For three decades we worked very hard to maintain my husband's heart health. Now he has lived longer than his parents did or than any of his siblings. I guess he got what we worked for. And now we are hoping that he will die of a heart attack rather than go through the final stages of dementia.

Best wishes to you.
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Dear Lisa, I've learned from reading here how important your parents-in-law are to you and in your shared love, they have really been your parents. I'm sending prayers for your mother-in-law and all those who love her and am so glad you got to talk with Doug and your family about your love for them.

Dear Cattails - Love and prayers to you and your Dad and those who love him. While not with my Dad at the very end, I had the privilege of being there just a day or two before and we had a good talk about our love for each other; regrets for which there was no need; and the peace we all hope for.

Peace be with each and all of you. Kathleen
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Hi everyone. Gonna give you a quick update. They see no significant damage to her heart. They have called in a pulmonary specialist. Lungs in bad shape. Her dementia is severe. She thinks she is laying in someone's house. Spider webs everywhere. 3 little boys running thru her room. Told her nurse his social skills are lacking, that he's a lousy host. He hadn't even offered her a cup of coffee. Then as the day progressed, she became So angry. She said she was going home, and started ripping everything off. She kept doing it so they had to restrain her. My fil could only cry, begging her to stop. She has said horrible things to all of us. We all decided to come home to rest. I leaned over and kissed her forehead and told her I love you and she said f**ck you. I know she dosen't mean it. But it still hurt and I cried all the way home. Doug had to throw himself across her to keep her in the bed. We are so frightened. It's like her mind has shut down. They finally had to use straps across her body that she can't get out of. My thoughts are jumbled. I've been up since 3:30 yesterday morning. How could there be such a rapid decline with her dementia? I did think to ask them if she had been checked for a uti and she was and results came back fine. I'm going to bed now. Please keep the prayers coming. Love to all, Lisa
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Lisa, Prayers and prayers coming your way. This sounds with withdrawal, from my experience, but that is very limited. I do hope you, Doug and your father-in-law will all be able to get some sleep. Kathleen
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I'm so sorry Lisa...As I was reading your above post, my heart started beating too fast. It's like re-living my mom's very quiet personality to a very hateful (and Scary!) personality. Truly, I knew that if my mom ever caught me, she would hurt me. The same thing happened to her in the hospital. They, too, had to restrain her. But, what they did was use a soft strip of cloth, and loosely tied it from her wrist to the railings. This way, she can still move her hands but she could not pull the IV's, etc... So when she came home from the hospital, we did the same restraining method ..she did not have any bruises, etc...because we tied it loosely around the wrist but still not be able to slip out of it. We stopped doing this when she finally passed the violent stage.

I know exactly how you feel to see such a sudden change of personality. This person is no longer your mil. You will just need to keep reminding yourself of this - especially when you look into her eyes and see hatred and violence in it. This Is NOT your mil but the dementia.

After my mom has calmed down, I have effectively pushed to the back of my mind those last memories of such hatred/violence. I always try to remember the mom of Before. It is possible, Lisa, to do this. I'm just soooo sorry that you all have to go through this without any warning! HUGS to you from all of us!!!
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Lisa, this could be psychotic reaction to narcotic pain med's., common in srs. Also, certain kinds of dementia react poorly to certain med's. Other things can escalate dementia as u see w mom-surgery, procedures, change in environment, unbalanced electrolites, vitamin deficiencies, lots of things could be going on, to contribute to the confusion. It may not be permanent. Her body has had a big trauma. It takes some time for things to settle back down. I guess U alerted them to your concern of possible undiagnosed dementia? They will work down in medical urgency but you can ask for demential eval or consult prior to discharge if you think she won't follow up. My experience: cardiac arrest changes the world view of the patient, and they will more likely listen to doc advice or directions in the future. Not always, but usually.

Lisa, we love you, hugs, prayers and love to all of you. Thanks for update. All the KAW are wishing we could give you live hugs! Kimbee


JEANNE: can you post some of the common med's. to look out for in Lewy Body Dementia? Or where to find the list? I tried to get it before from the LBD site, but the link was broken, w reference to another page to remedy, but it didn't exist. It may help Lisa, if this doesn't clear up, maybe she could ask about if med's on the list have been used? Doc's. seem awfully short on awareness re: Lewy Body Dementia. If you'd rather send it to my wall, I'll share it w/ Lisa. Either way, I'd like to know where to find it...Thx. kim
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Lisa: I agree with Kimbee. A medical emergency and hospitalization can bring on serious confusion and personality change. Your mil has dementia, even if it has gone undiagnosed due to her refusal to see her doc. Dementia patients often have a severe break from reality when hospitalized. Mary has had a heart attack, her world has been turned upside down.

I remember when Warren's grandmother had a medical emergency and was hospitalized. For days, she did not know where she was. She believed there was a party going on outside her hospital room. She was seeing people in her room who were not there. She did not get violent, but she was miles away from reality. One morning I walked into her room and she was completely normal.

Aside from the heart attack, your MIL has a lot of fears. She knows her mind isn't working right. She has been stressed with your FIL's illness and treatment. In a strange way, it almost seems true to form that she would chose to deny that anything is wrong with her, fight anyone who tells her otherwise and insist that she is going home.

I'm happy to hear that her heart seems to be undamaged. Now is your chance to get an eval for her dementia and maybe there are some meds that can help her with her stress and anxiety.

I am praying for you all. Don't give up hope that her mental status will not improve. I think it will. And don't take anything she says to heart. It's terrible to hear her talk this way and he hateful, but it's her fear and dementia that is speaking, not her heart.

Get some much needed sleep and realize that you have to pace yourself and can't stay in full crisis mode continually. Take care of FIL and reassure him that there is a good chance she will improve mentally. Question the docs about medications, blood work, electrolytes, etc., as Kimbee said.

My hope and belief is she will get better mentally. She needs something for her anxiety and fear. I would be reluctant to do any major drugs based on her current state because that will probably abate to some degree on it's own. Getting her home will help her, but she does need to be evaluated and she does need help with anxiety as she has had that all along and prior to the heart attack. In all fairness, she has a lot to be anxious and worried about.

I'm not a doc and I don't have a parent with dementia, but this is what I would be thinking about if it was my dad. I'm praying a balance can be struck to help your MIL live with what is happening to her and her husband. Some medical intervention (prescription) that can calm her fears and help her live in her skin.

Sending you, Doug and the family my heartfelt love and best white light.

Love, Cat.
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Kimbee, here is the general statement: "Up to 50% of patients with LBD who are treated with any antipsychotic medication may experience severe neuroleptic sensitivity (worsening cognition, heavy sedation, increased or possibly irreversible parkinsonism, or symptoms resembling neuroleptic malignant syndrome which can be fatal). AVOID traditional antipsychotic agents (e.g., haloperidol). Newer atypical antipsychotic agents (e.g., quetiapine, clozapine) should only be used with caution at the lowest dose possible, under close supervision."

The specific drugs the neurologist listed on my husband's records as "allergic to" are thorazine, mellaril, stelazine, haldol.

There is a long and very informative article on LBD here
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