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sorry i can't hang around, takes all my time to read your posts fine women. i'm still in Texas staying with David's parents. i'll talk all about it when i get home at the end of the month. i'm going to be very sad when i leave here without my David.
:(
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Judy: A whirling anger flurry of flying turds. Not an exact quote, but I'll lose this post if I go back to find your explanation. I did see the question Punch asked, but I knew if I waited you would give the answer. Well done.

Pam: I probably missed the info, but who is David? Is he a romantic interest in your life or a close platonic friend. You can tell us and we can keep a secret. Don't spare any details.

Love, Cat
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Cat, in here i will admit that David is both. On my facebook I will only admit that he is my bestest friend in the whole world, my hiking, fishing, camping, and backpacking buddy. My husband is really close to accepting both, (he actually told me this), and my kids are close but not really there yet. So I play it carefully. I have no wish to hurt anyone. Even though it was a horrible marriage, Steve and I have a long history and there were good times. We also have four great kids. I believe in gentle endings whenever possible. While everyone knows that my marriage ended many years ago, and that my husband and I agreed to an amicable separation in December 2010; I only moved out in March of this year. David moved here in February 2011 and quickly became a friend of the entire family including my husband, witness two family campouts with David included. Because my husband Steve likes David things have been easy. Because David likes Steve we have been slow about things. I feel blessed.
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Hi, I can't keep up n keep things straight w everybody, but want to say thx for the support n encouragement. I just feel depressed n overwhelmed n teary. Going to keep putting one foot in front of the other for now...luv to all of you. Kim
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(((((((((((((((((((((Kim)))))))))))))))))))) I have to say I am not surprised that you are overwhelmed. Hope some more help, or some changes are coming down the line soon, as it looks like this is becoming too much for you. It is OK when that happens, and then we have to do what we have to do. Please look after you. You had such a bad bout of illness not so long ago, and really hardly anytime to recuperate. Don't want that happening again, or you being weary, teary, and depressed. Major hugs and lots of prayers going your way. Keep letting us know how you are - let it out - the KAW can take it! Luv ya sista - Joan
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Thank you. I am new here so missed the dates.
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Hi, judyjudy! If you have some time, read this thread from the start - its a really good read, (and we've all fallen in love with Lisa and her family - you will too).

Good to see another judy on board. That's makes 3 of us, right? Punch, me and you?

Having a decent Monday so far. Told Mom I wasn't coming over until tomorrow. Woooohoooo!
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Ok Judy, rub it in! My shit storm has arrived. First nurse called. Then.....wait for it....DQ roommate in bed 2!!!! Still can't wrap my head around that one!!! Nurse asked me if I was planning on visiting mother today, she was being sent down for a stress test. (still screaming chest pain) while I'm speaking to nurse, roommate dials in. Didn't know it at that time. Didn't recognize the name , so when I finished with nurse I called the number and it was room mate. Seems she asked this woman to call me because she thinks she's dying. Nobody has been there to see her. Dosent she have any grand children? I said I'll tell you what, inform her I'll be there by the time she returns from the stress test. I wasn't going to go. But dammit, now she has complete strangers calling me. So when I got to hospital, first order of business was to take care of room mate. I went to nurses station and asked for nurses of both and their shift supervisor. I went in the room with a smile on my face and introduced myself. I gently thanked her for the phone call, but these women here with me will assure you that they will contact me with any changes to her condition. And whatever she has told you, she is not near death. I realize you must have taken a liking to my mom and that's great. But her relationship with myself and her grandchildren is of her own making. She apologized again. I told her there's no need. I just want you to feel better about the situation. Well after nurses left I stayed and talked with her. I liked the woman. She's there because they found a blood clot in her lung. 45 years old. When they ran the dye during the test, they found a lump in her breast. I took her hand and told her I truly believe everything happens for a reason. The blood clot is now taken care of, and something you were unaware of can be treated also. Then of course the humor had to come out. I asked if her heart was ok. Yes, why? I told her cause when she gets back here, I don't want her behavior to throw you into an attack. She smiled, we talked some more then, Dummmmm, dum dum dum dummmmmmmmmmmm. In she comes. "I can't believe your fat ass actually showed up." oh my god!!!! The look on the woman's face! I laughed so dam hard!!! Between the look on her face, and the realization that those words do not have the power to hurt me anymore. She got out of bed and pulled the curtains between their beds. The visit lasted ten minutes. Heard a few gasp from behind the curtain. Snicker snicker snort snort. Before I left I said goodbye to roommate and told her I'll keep her in my prayers. You know, sometimes this seems surreal. I told Doug I couldn't wait to get here and tell you the latest. He said, honey I know these women are your friends, but does it ever embarrass you for others to know how she calls you names like fat ass? Told him nope. Never has, never will. Besides, IM NOW 7 POUNDS LESS A FAT ASS!!! yeeeehaaaaa!!! Love ya sistas!!!!!
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Geez, poor JudyJudy. She walked into the discussion way after the fact and must think we're all crazy on this thread with all our 'shit storm' and balloon talk. Pam, thanks for giving her the 'straight poop' on where Lisa is in her situation. (Ooops there's that word again.)
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Lisa~Good for you for going to the hospital and talking with the roommate. Your compassion and love is overflowing, and so great that you share it with others in need. Not too many people who have been thru what you have with your mother can be compassionate with others. I am so happy you have that capacity!! Kudos on losing 7lbs. You are on your way!!!
A former co-worker of my mother called me yesterday. She was concerned because she couldn't reach my mom by phone. I told her mom was probably outside cuz I was just over there. I tried calling too and couldn't reach her. The woman "N" asked me if my mom had a DPOA. I told her that mom's attny. advised mom to set up her DPOA as a springing DPOA, meaning we can't act in mom's behalf til she is certified incompetent. I went on to explain to her that mom is not legally incompetent at this point so we have to play it by ear, visiting her regularly and monitoring her situation until we can call APS since mom won't let us help where she needs help. N said she would help when she can thru phone calls to my mom and alerting me if she suspects mom is in crisis!! I would never impose on N in any way because she sits several days for a ggchild with autism. I am amazed at the people who are willing to help me with mom...in whatever capacity they can!! I am grateful. This very different from your situation Lisa, believe me understand because my mother has a PD which is why she lives alone.My mother who can be very abusive, is not as bad as your mother...my heart goes out to you. You have my support and love as you journey thru all this with your mom and now your pils!!! These two ladies who are willing to inform me of things regarding my mom, know a very different person than the woman who raised me and my sibs.
I made the Pumpkin Soup today and it is yummy, thank you Cat for sharing!! It is much heartier than I expected, very filling with some warm buttered bread!!! I took some over to my mom and she liked it too. Hubby also likes spicy, so I added red pepper to ours!!
Joan~I will make the dumplings on Thursday with some chicken...can't wait for that!
Enjoy your time away PamelaSue as it doesn't happen often enough!
Have a great week ladies, I'll be thinking of all of you. Hugs to all!!! Sharyn
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Lisa - WOW WHAT A VISIT that was!! That poor woman roommate must have been so pressured by DQ to get in touch with you--then she has the nerve to insult you when she sees you showed up?? What a total pill. I would hesitate to ever go back there again--and hopefully you are getting around to giving every person with whom she comes in contact the low down on her manipulative ways--and, just as in my own situation, one by one they have her number and can resist getting bamboozled and manipulated. You can only fool people so long and DQ is learning it the hard way, huh? Congrats on the weight loss, yes--but bigger congrats on being able to move past the stress, pain and sadness and not allow this woman to take up any space in your head for another second. GO GIRL. Very nice of you to go over there and handle that one on one like that, I admire you so much. Hugs and our support, always. xo PJ
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Sharyn, I know exactly what you mean. Outsiders see a completely different side of DQ. But girl, once she lays eyes on me it don't take ten seconds for her true nature to appear. And it always comes from these strangers suggestions on what needs to be done. If they only knew... And punch, the one on one was an easy one to handle today. I'm so glad I went to speak with the room mate. As much as we laughed before DQ showed up, I left there feeling really good with bringing some smiles to her face. She was so easy to like, and the fear on her face when she told me they found that lump was hard to watch. Here I go sappy again, but things happened today for a reason. Because I believe that woman needed someone to talk to. If the crazy woman who used to live down the hall wasn't in that room, I would be tempted to visit her again. ;)
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Lisa, I have been following this story from the start and only on post 1151. Your story of what you have been though and the strength you have gotten from the KICK ASS GIRLS have been so inspiring. I will continue to read your journey till I get to the last post. It is so great to see a bunch of people who were total strangers come together and give strength to each other in there time of troubles. To the rest of the Kick Ass Girls I hope to soon read your story soon.
Hug to all Kim
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Auntkiki: welcome!!!!
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Uh-oh...the shitstorm materialized. I'm sorry! I guess this storm cloud did have a silver lining in the form of DQ's roommate though. I'm glad you got to laugh with her and listen to her story. It does sound like she needed someone to talk to. And, I'm glad your mom showed her true colors again with the "fat ass" comment. Nothing like lobbing a turd your way. Sheesh. You'd think she'd behave in front of an audience, you know? I'm glad you left that room feeling upbeat about making that woman smile. But, you know, Lisa, I think you make everyone smile (except the DQ, unfortunately). Congrats on the 7lbs!
Kimbee - I hope you feel better soon. xx
Pam - David sounds wonderful. Love the name too - my oldest boy's :)
Cat - where are you?
judyjudy - I hope we get to know you.
Auntkiki - keep reading and come back!
Emjo - thanks again for the hug - xxoo - and stay warm!
Sharyn - "N" sounds like a sweetheart
Punch - what kind of crap can we get into next?

I'm missing someone here, I know it. Sorry if I am.
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Lisa, good for you again. You are a master (mistress?) at this.
sharyn - nice that these ex coworkers will help.
judyjudy - hi
I have sad news and am asking for prayers. I put this on the dysfun fam thread too. Gary's youngest son just had emergency surgery for a perforated bowel. He had a head/brain injury a few years ago, and was left with very severe, and debilitating headaches, and is constantly on heavy pain meds, He cannot live alone, nor have a normal life as he is in bed sometimes, or throwing up from the pain all day long. The doctors have said that they can do no more for him, his stomach will be ruined by the meds within 5 years, and he won't live till he is 40. He is in his early twenties. Gary is on his way to Calgary to see him in hospital. It is likely that this was caused by the meds. On top of that, G's ex (who is still in very much in charge of the adult kids - they walk on egg shells around her - talk about dysfunctional!) makes it very difficult for him to spend time with them all, so he could use some prayer too. As well, the road conditions are not good where he is heading - snow storms... it never snows but it storms???? I feel so badly for that young man. He was walking down the street with a friend in New York, and a window blew out of a building 24 stories up and fell and hit him on the head. He was going to Drama school there. It wasn't the first window that had blown out of that building, and yet there was no compensation. Can't remember the ins and outs of it, but Gary said they pursued it as far as they could.So unfair! Hurting for him tonight,
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Prayers for everyone Emjo!
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Hi friends, shit storm recipient Lisa, and newcomers. I'll say it again-Lisa you rock! Too funny that DQ just could't STAND for you to be plesant w her roommate. I hope that poor woman doesn't end up w a twitch to go-she's got plenty to deal with. I am feeling better tonight; It occurred to me that I've had some depressive symptoms in the fall n winter, n last year considered buying a light to help. Will make a point to get outside more to see if THAT helps-plenty to do in the yard still to give me some detraction. Joan, thanks for reminder to take care of myself better. I called Hospice palliative care, they don't provide any in home services here, all services r for facility based care, only. That seems a bit behind the trends to me. Made some other calls to CG's to get interviews started. I'm falling asleep, so more later. Thx again-you're great friends n support n thanks too cat n judy. Nitey night! Kimbee
some interviews going for priv duty.
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joan, praying for Gary and his son. Your sons have had some tough things happen. Luv you, kim
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Hey Joan: My prayers are with you, Gary and his son. I'm so sorry this young man had to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. No fault of his, but so life changing. It is heartbreaking. Love, Cat.
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Prayers Joan!!!
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Lisa, thx for being the early riser n getting all the little hellions, urr, darlings, to school safe n happy! Welcome new Kim, hugs to all-kimbee!
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Lisa, that was so funny. I can't believe she's now showing her real self in front of people. I guess she couldn't wait for privacy since she had a roommate. Plus it sounds like she purposely got the roommate to call you - just so that she can hurt you verbally. I feel bad for that woman. If I had a blood clot and a lump in my breast, I would be 100% more fearful of it being breast cancer than some clot in my body. We've all heard a lot of horror stories of breast cancer. I'm glad that you did help comfort her.

Joan, I've sent a prayer for both Gary and son.
Kimbee - I'm sorry that I overlooked the stress you were going through last week. I'm glad that you're now looking for alternate options to help you with the caregiving.
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Joan - I have Gary and son on my mind today. Sending positive energy and love your way. When I put my son's face on the situation, it brings tears to my eyes and tightens my chest. I can only imagine how hard this is for Gary. My heart goes out to him. Keep us posted.
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Lisa, you stated that if it wasn't for DQ in the room you might go visit the roommate again. Wellll... since you can't go back to the room...How about calling the woman on the phone. Sounds like she needs someone to talk with and what a blessing to you to be that person. Have a wonderful day..
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Any possibility of disability ? Here in California we have Victim's Assistance programs. Anything like that where you are? My prayers go out to this young man. It does seem strange that a lawsuit went nowhere. The insurance company for the building should pay something.
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Thank you for all your prayers. I haven't heard anything more - just that he was a very sick young man last night.
judyjudy - I hear you, and we do have similar programs here in Canada. We received a sum after my son Gordie died at the hands of another young man. I don't know if it applies to an "accident". I can't remember the details of why there is no compensation. It may be that it will stay tied up in court forever. Not sure, but when Gary explained it to me, it made sense. He is pretty familiar with such things, and has recently helped a disabled man get a pension. Other windows have blown out of the same building, I don't know if others have been injured. However, even if there was financial compensation, it could in no way improve Clay's quality of life. One of Gary's other sons is a physician, and has made sure that Clay has the best medical care available. It really is a tragedy. Clay was an outstanding athlete, apparently. This happened when he was at his prime.
Having lost Gordie, I know what Gary is facing. This is the beginning of what they were told would happen. If he survives this, the number of options for treatment for Clay will decrease. We all are familiar with that here, but for older people, not young adults. My heart is very heavy this morning.
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Joan, what a tremendously sad story--just walking down the street and your whole life changes in an instant. Totally weird and sad for that young man. Think somewhere along the line, either this thread or somewhere else, I mentioned that DIL's dear first cousin was coming home from a night out w/friends and was accosted by a monster who wanted to rob him and got $20 but not before he shot him in the neck. Promising, smiling, smart and sweet, that young man is now a quadriplegic and the family is beyond heartbroken, so I can relate to how a misfortune in an instant changes everyone life around them. They really 'buck up' and take good care of each other and their son, they are a phenomenal family, but I can't imagine what must go through their minds. I will be praying for Gary and at least for his son's comfort, and less pain.--poor baby.

Kimbee good luck with getting the caregiver--good for you.
Lisa, I agree with Judy, you think she would have made nice-nice in front of the roommate. I swear that mother of yours has to be related to mine. Though sad to not have that lovely m/d relationship that I've missed my entire life, I must say breaking the ties has made life so peaceful.
AuntKiki-nice to 'meet' you. Yes, we definitely support each other--and NO judgment allowed, which makes it a pleasure being able to speak freely. xoxPJ
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punch - so sorry about dil's cousin. I am more familiar than I want to be with such things, knowing other parents who have lost children, and particularly young adult sons.
The news I have is that though Clay is alert, the 5 day prognosis is guarded especially given his previous medical issues. Barring a miracle, this the beginning of the end for him, as far as I can see. He is in such pain daily I don't even I know what to pray for except for release from the pain one way or another. The roads have been bad due to snow storms, Gary hasn't arrived here yet - it is an 8 hr drive under the best conditions. Oh, and judyjudy, re any court case, two of Gary's kids are lawyers, and I know if there was anything they could do, they would.
auntKiki - welcome - this is a great group.
kimbee - hope you are feeling better and have been able to line up more help
cat - thinking of you and spreading your dad's ashes. We still have Gordie's in an urn. I had it for years and ex dh has them now,
judy - take as many days away that you can!
book - how are you? I know your heath is suffering. I would think that stress is a big factor.
Lisa - what a blessing you were to yur mum's room mate. I wish you could take pictures of people's expressions when they first hear her lash out at you, and then on the "twitches" later. ;) Hope the diet continues to9 go well.
everyone - thinking of you. I need to be a bit more productive today. If I pack up some stuff to send overseas to my nephew and family, I will have gotten the boxes and paper out of the living room, some stuff out of my cupboards, and will have done something useful - a little low on that recently.:( (((((((hugs)))))) Joan
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Joan, maybe I'll join you in doing something productive in the household today. Taking care of DH is extremely useful, of course, but he is sleeping most of the time now. I think it will feel good to get some papers sorted out and my office straightened up. I have a high tolerance for clutter, but even that has been exceeded. First I'll get dressed (it's noon here). I was still in bed when the hospice nurse came for her 11:00 appointment. Sigh. I have delayed sleep phase disorder and I wasn't asleep until after 3:00. Resetting the internal clock takes more disciple than I have to spare right now and I'm just being gentle with myself and sleeping when I can.

Hugs to you regarding Clay. I am so sorry for everyone concerned.

Everyone -- regards to all. I'm reading but I'm not in full response mode right now.
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