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sylvester, I'm with judy on this. Cattails isn't saying anything Lisa wouldn't agree with. No one called your mother anything. You can call me out on this post, too, if you want. Maybe you are coming in toward the end of a long saga, and don't know the whole story.

I hope your day improves. Sounds like you are at your edges. I don't mean that in a snarky way.
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As part of this forum, I'd like to make it clear that no apologies are needed to me. And for the record, I have no "vendetta" against mean old people. I have a strong empathy for the caregiver in this case. I'm sorry for the mentally ill mom, but I think her daughter is doing the right thing.

Sylvester, since several of us are being kind of childish here, haven't you ever heard "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?" You'd respond to a negative comment about your mother with a blow from your fist? Hmmm ... I don't think that fits the playground rules.
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Wow. Although "bitch" is a harsh word, I laughed out loud when I read the comment, Cattails, because I think you typed what lots of us have been thinking, but wouldn't verbalize. And, sylvester, is threatening to punch someone on the chin any worse than using the word "bitch"? I think not. Your comment about a supposed hateful comment.... was a hateful comment! Maybe I need to be reported for calling you out on this. Go for it. Whatever.
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Lisa: Have you spoken to Spirit House yourself? It sounds like you are keeping an arms length approach in some ways to dealing with the housing issue. That my just be my misinterpretation, but I hope you are not depending on your mom and drug addicted nephew for updates.

You got as far as you have because you took charge. Don't drop the ball now, kick that mother into the end zone....no pun intended.

Has you mother finished her paperwork, the one she is whining about with needing more expenses? Help her fill it out and get it done. Hand deliver it to Spirit House. You don't need to give her anything she's not entitled to, you just need to get the bitch out of your house.

Get this show on the road! Lots of Love, Cattails
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If it helps, Lisa, we're all sort of holding our breath with you for the next few weeks. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. I look forward to your posts to know how its coming along and how you're holding up. You're amazing.
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Bank statements are in their possession. I think they have it all now. I think the paper work is taking so long because it is christian care/ government housing for the elderly. they told my nephew no longer than 2 weeks/ 14 working days. I want so badly for this to be done. I feel like I'm never going to have a restful night again.
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Good for you Elisa. It would seem that her rent would be figured on what her current income and obligations are, not what she paid for rent or electric, etc. in the past. If her bank statements are used to show income it would also make sense that they want to verify monthly obligations, like a monthly insurance premiuim, car payment etc. This is another way of her not being able to lie about expenses. For example, she can't claim a $500.00 monthly insurance premium without it being verified as a monthly payment on her checking account or cash receipts.

Where are we at in the process. Have the bank statements been obtained or is that still dragging on also? Do her bank statements come with copies of her checks included. No need to get copies of checks if you already have them with her statements. Is there a response date that has to be met with Spirit House; one that failure to meet will allow her potential room go to the next in line?

I'm not trying to push you here, but it might be to your advantage to look for her bank statements in her room. Hopefully she keeps those things.

911 is sounding better all the time. Love, Cattails
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Good for you!
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I always made mom give me a check for the electric. She always wanted me to go get cash with her debit and I refused. She did not give me a check for any other monthly bill. It seems this holdup is them deciding what her monthly rent will be. Mom will lie about anything when it comes to money. She has scammed insurance companies ( homeowners) and gotten caught in the past. I will never allow myself to get involved with her crap. She's tried to get me to sit down and look over the papers to see how she can be given cheaper rent. I told her you need nothing from me. Get your cleared checks showing what you gave each month. She said she needs to show more expences. I told her to claim her monthly qvc statements. There's a huge chunk. She'll get nothing more out of me except what she paid.
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I also agree with Austin and Cattails. She may have a bizarre motive for her requests. Hang in there, Lisa. It is almost over. Rebecca
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I tend to agree with Austin. Cattails
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I would not give you any info if it is needed tell them to contact your lawyer-she is nuts but very crafty-let her find any checks she paid to you-she has some idea to keep her there or someone is suppling thought to her-I would not even waste words on her at this point.
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Lisa: Have you turned in the bank statements and are you in personal touch with Spirit House?
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Lisa: Whatever you do, DON'T LIE. You know she is up to something. If you do give her something in writing, keep it very simple, ie, "My mother paid the electric bill and contributed to her food costs while living in our home." I'd be leery of saying that anything she paid covered her housing. That's like saying she paid rent and it might interfere with the eviction issue. She's a crafty old broad.

What's up with the housing process. Has it been confirmed yet.

Hugs and keep your chin up. Cattails
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It would be hilarious that she asked for that, if it wasn't so nutty. Maybe when she is OUT it will be funny. And that moment is drawing closer and closer and closer... Hang in there!
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Type a note stating not that she paid you only that she was obligated to pay a certain amt each month which included utilities.. Something like:

The agreement between mother (use her name) and myself (use your name) was for her to pay $xxx.00 monthly which was to cover housing and utilities. Then sign your name.

That should be enough for anyone. You are lying and she has what she wants.
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You know, the more I think about it, the less I like it. Sure, she could just be looking for something simple, like Jeanne says... but what if she isn't and its something more sinister? And, she didn't really pay regularly, did she?
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I could be wrong about your mother's motives for this, but proof of rent statements can be used to dispute an eviction. Hmm..its curious isn't it. Be careful! Chin up, Lisa. The waiting game must be hard, but just keep your eyes on the prize!
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Umm, I thought you knew ... yes, she is nuts. :-D.

Give her what she wants, a statement showing what she has paid. It will be very short, I'm sure, and not much trouble to pull together.
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Oh and I forgot. She wants us to give her a statement stating she gave a set amount of money each month for rent plus the electric. Is she nuts????? I'm not lying for her. Can't even imagine why she would want us to do something like that.
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So tired of this day to day waiting game. Tension so thick here you could not imagine. want this over now. I know it's going to be really soon but can't help feeling discouraged. Thought shed be out by now. Get out already!!!!!
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Lisa, you will have the information for a book after all of this is over. Just don't give up, and know you have so many people who care about you. Rebecca
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Her bank will be able to get that info easily-I had to do it for 3yrs when applieing for medicaide and my bank did it in about one week.
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How funny Kimbee. QVC is the first thing that came to my mind. OMG, look how much this chick spends on line. Of course that would be on her credit card bill, so Lisa, I would suggest that you get 6 months of credit card bills at the same time as the checking account statements. Just be prepared and a step ahead.

I'm sure Jane B is right. They want some verification of her income and expenses. Lisa, I'm hoping that you have not made any personal deposits into her checking account and that they only reflect her income and expenses.

FYI to everyone. Don't ever put money into a parents account to help them pay bills. Pay the bills personally and from your own checking account. Otherwise it can be counted as income for the parent.

Lisa, get the paperwork together and get it behind you. It's a pain, but count yourself lucky that you are not filing for Medicaid. They would want a five year review. So take a deep breath and get it done.

Another thing that Jane B said, "People all over the country are rooting for you." I tend to think of this site as a specific group of people and on a more intimate basis, but Jane B is right. People all over the country are rooting for you, we are carrying you on our shoulders, your daughters and your husband too. We can see the end coming; the ribbon breaking as you pass the end of the race and a happy ending for you and your lovely family. Can you hear the crowd roaring, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.

Well, that's my heartfelt motivational speech for tonight. We love you, Lisa. You are a shinning example of someone who can change their circumstances. It's a breath of fresh air. Cattails.
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Wait til they see the qvc! Your Doug rocks too, what a great husband. Hoping this will be wrapping up soon, I know you've got to be sick of it all. You show incredible resilience...yes JaneB is so right-all over the country, for sure. Kimbee (in NC)
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They just want to make sure she doesn't move in, then can't pay. One foot in front of the other! People all over the country are rooting for you!
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Oh good grief! Hang in there! This will all be behind you soon!
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For crying out loud. Now they tell her they need bank statements from last six months. So now there's one more meeting with the social worker. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!
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Your right kimbee. I'm on it. Nephew is not allowed in our home. He's with her now at friendship house finalizing papers. He has to call Doug when they are ten minutes from the house and he comes from the office and let's her in. Told her last night I want to see the contract when she gets home. Hopefully she will be here before I go back for afternoon run.
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Whoopee! You Rock ( and so does baby girl)!! Get ready for the party dance! Iluv CatT's idea-an inpatient move would be great. Leave nephew out of the pack/moving day at ur house-he can take stuff--yours &hers--&she can press charges against YOU, after all, she's gonna need some DRAMA and retaliation...
STAY STRONG ;) Kim
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