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Sending hope and peace and strength to all of you. Clearly, you have your hands full. I hope all works out for every single one of you.
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SUCCESS!!! MIL is coming home...with NO 24/7 mandate! YAY!!!

The folks we met with were the director of social services, her PT (the only male), her OT, and the nurse in charge of her case. They were very warm and welcoming but I felt wary....figured at least one of them was bound to reveal him/herself as the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing. The OT presented her findings first, saying MIL had been given several cognition tests and did not do well....scored a 17 out of a possible 33 on one and a 4 out of 8 on another. I didn't catch what the specific tests were because at that point she informed us these findings were a pretty strong indicator MIL needed 24/7 care. I thought, "ok, here it comes" but continued to smile and nod and let her have her say. Then it was the PT's turn. He'd already spoken briefly with my husband yesterday...said he'd originally been aiming to get MIL walking, at least with a walker, but he'd come to the conclusion that wasn't going to happen and so turned his attention to just strength building and doing transfers instead. (Wow, dawn finally breaks!!) He said MIL was a hard worker and was pleased with her progress, but still had some reservations about her transfers. I pulled out my "visual aides" and started going through them, explaining exactly how each transfer was done at home. Then the social worker asked me to outline her daily routine - how many times a day we checked in on her, what those visits entailed, how far away we live exactly. I went through a typical day, adding that she also has a PCA that comes three times a week (soon to be five), a Lifeline button, a Safelink cell phone, and that although we may not be physically with her 24/7, we ARE available to her every minute of every day at a moment's notice. At this point the atmosphere in the room began to change. The nurse asked about the dispensation of her meds - I explained how we handled that. They each took turns firing a few more questions at us and between dh and I we handled them all, I must say, with cool calm assurance....all a big show because I was a nervous wreck inside! Next thing we knew they were smiling and nodding and saying they were more than satisfied that we had "all our ducks in a row" and would be fine with letting MIL return home to her accustomed routine. The social worker actually told us she was "very impressed" and wished more people caring for their elderly parents were like us. (Boom!)

So she will be coming home on Saturday. The PT wanted a couple more days with her to work on building her strength and we were fine with that. (MIL was disappointed...she was hoping she'd be going home today...but two more days will give us time to do some grocery shopping for her, get fresh linens on her bed...and brace ourselves for the return to the every day grind. Yeah, I have mixed emotions over it....I want her home, but at the same time I'm apprehensive over how much she may have regressed and what we may be in for, at least for the first few weeks. I'm still going to hold SIL#1 in reserve!

Thank you ALL for your words of support and wisdom....thanks to what I've learned here I was able to go into that meeting feeling...well, empowered! Still nervous, but prepared to face them down if I had to. Hearing the social worker say she was impressed was the icing on my day...to be acknowledged for all our efforts was really gratifying.

Now I'm enjoying a quiet relaxing evening with a glass of wine (or two) while I still can. And I'm raising my glass in a toast to all the caregivers out there...to the continuing struggle...and the strength, support, and good humour to see us through. Slainte! (Irish Gaelic - "to your good health!")
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You did very well and I am glad you succeeded in getting your loved one back home.
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AWESOME!!! You are a star!!! All I can say is OMG the BS involved in this damn healthcare system!!!
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Yes. I have found the social services network to be out-of-touch with reality more often than not. Sorry to say.
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