I'm a live in caretaker for my friend's mom. Everything was great for a while, but now it seems to be getting worse by the day. Today was the final straw on the escaping. She got out the front door and was holding onto a post when I got to her. No sooner I sat her down and went around the corner to get a bowl, she was down the hallway. This time she fell. I had to let her go. Did watch her head. Figured, okay she is down and okay hurried back around the corner to dump the bowl she dropped and she was up and out the front. I've got back issues, get lectures from these people how to lift,doesn't make a difference cause this happens. left message with new DR. still waiting. Had to change cause other treated just the basics. She is on .25 xanax 4x's a day and yes, pot therapy (candy edibles) any ideas, told my friend I can't do this anymore, will stay till a new one steps in. We can't even get her to bathe big fight with her mom every time. I stepped in when they needed someone to change her bandages after half her foot was amputated. Sorry now that I'm writing just realized how much was getting dumped on me. Any suggestions, Nursing Home better? daughter has guilt cause she didn't step in when her father had cancer because she didn't get along with her mom. Oh forgot, when she hurt me today, I almost hit her. Why I quit. Found a side of me that I didn't know I had and don't like.
You have done a great deal to help, you have nothing to apologise for, and you are right to recognise that the mother has reached the limit of in-home care.
Since you live there do you have somewhere to go ?
However, how her care is handled is not your concern. Since you are friends with the daughter, you can be supportive, maybe help her with researching what is available, etc. But stand firm that you cannot be the live-in caregiver.
Xanax 4x/day even at that small dose is too much for elderly patients. If the marijuana edibles are prescribed I would think they are ok for pain, otherwise why is she taking those?
This is too complicated for you to handle. Your patient needs a higher level of care that you cannot provide.
Daughter can take her to the ER and tell them that she needs something to keep her from leaving, that she can't handle her. She can demand testing to find out why this is happing, and refuse to take her home until the testing and medication are adjusted.