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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Christmas day and I've had 4 calls from the NH this afternoon. a) her bed alarm went off and they found her on the floor with a skinned finger, cleaned it up and put her back to bed b) Looks deep so sending her to hospital for stitches c) Is it ok to send her to hospital and I pay for it - send her in a helicopter or on a flying carpet for all I care, I'll pay d) she's been stitched and being sent back to the NH - in exasperation I let that one go to voicemail. There will never be peace.
but one other thing...I still have moments when I think about how little love I got from my mother for so long...but I also have come to realize that she didn't give any love because she hates herself so much. It breaks my heart sometimes but I can't fix her and it's too late anyway. She's stuck in this martyr mode and can't get out of it if she tried.
But she does love me in her own way...and I don't doubt that your mother loves you, again, in HER own way. Which may be completely NOT what you want but it is what it is. You can't change her, you can only work on you...I was lucky enough to be able to walk away from my mother for a year, learned I could do without her and CHOSE to come back..not everyone has the chance to get that distance.
ok, here's my secret for cheering myself up at Christmas....I am my own Santa Claus. For years and years, I bought hundreds of dollars of stuff for my five nieces, held huge parties at my small apartment to make them happy...now they are all grown and what do they give me?
Nada.
soooo..now I buy them a token gift (one each!) and spend the rest of my Christmas bonus on....ME! I say the gifts are from my cats (and the dear things are sooo good at getting me just what I want! it's like they can read my mind!).
This year, my mother is here and has done her level best to ruin my Christmas spirit but it hasn't worked yet. I have learned the art of answering her jibs with tart comments:
"You're probably broke after that little shopping spree!" "I worked all year without taking a day off, and I WILL spend it how I want to"
"You better watch your money!" "I have this lovely home and a new car, my bills are all current, I have money in the bank and I WILL spend my money how I choose to."
"You better get a flu shot!" "I don't want one" "You'll DIE!" "Then you'll get the house! It's a win win!"
heads up, H2H..you are in a postition of power..more than you may realize...she has no where to go, so she has to suck it up!
Can you tell us more? The situation? Heart it sounds like you've experienced over your life what I have and are in a position I was for some years. I have no family either. My mother went into a nursing home over a year ago and I bought a dilapidated wee cottage on 2 acres in the country. Moved in December 27, 2012. Along with driving 85km regularly to clear her house and get it reno'd for sale - at huge cost as she'd never spent a penny on it in 12 years - while hobbling on a broken toe, almost freezing to death and having her scream at me down the phone every day I have no idea how I got through it. A text book nasty, manipulative narcissist I spent a lifetime avoiding her and only gave up my career and home to care for her out of duty. She broke a hip in the spring and another stroke a couple of months ago knocked the stuffing out of her as she's reasonably pleasant now but, after a lifetime of hell, I have no feeling for her at all. I have a bad cold so I don't have to go visit over Christmas.
Her house sold in May and I've been renovating my new home ever since. These past months I've considered myself to be "in recovery". It's a long road and my hair has been falling out but I'm suddenly starting to feel better, somehow healing from the inside out. It will take time but I will renew and regain my life.
Getting on for 4 a.m. and off to bed with big dog Ash (in my picture), 7, who came to me in April from rescue, and little Sue, inherited from my mother, who sleeps in my bed. I also have 4 cats and a big old goldfish called Ralph. No disrespect but, after what I've been through over my lifetime, I prefer animals to most people.
I guess it's even more depressing as an adult when you only have one (elderly) parent left and you know they care zip about you... It's something that never 'heals'... (and, I use to think I was strong... but, after being 'used' for decades, I feel angry, and all kinds of emotions)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But she does love me in her own way...and I don't doubt that your mother loves you, again, in HER own way. Which may be completely NOT what you want but it is what it is. You can't change her, you can only work on you...I was lucky enough to be able to walk away from my mother for a year, learned I could do without her and CHOSE to come back..not everyone has the chance to get that distance.
wish I had more helpful things to say but...
Nada.
soooo..now I buy them a token gift (one each!) and spend the rest of my Christmas bonus on....ME! I say the gifts are from my cats (and the dear things are sooo good at getting me just what I want! it's like they can read my mind!).
This year, my mother is here and has done her level best to ruin my Christmas spirit but it hasn't worked yet. I have learned the art of answering her jibs with tart comments:
"You're probably broke after that little shopping spree!" "I worked all year without taking a day off, and I WILL spend it how I want to"
"You better watch your money!" "I have this lovely home and a new car, my bills are all current, I have money in the bank and I WILL spend my money how I choose to."
"You better get a flu shot!" "I don't want one" "You'll DIE!" "Then you'll get the house! It's a win win!"
heads up, H2H..you are in a postition of power..more than you may realize...she has no where to go, so she has to suck it up!
drives her batty but it shuts her up! LOL!
Her house sold in May and I've been renovating my new home ever since. These past months I've considered myself to be "in recovery". It's a long road and my hair has been falling out but I'm suddenly starting to feel better, somehow healing from the inside out. It will take time but I will renew and regain my life.
Getting on for 4 a.m. and off to bed with big dog Ash (in my picture), 7, who came to me in April from rescue, and little Sue, inherited from my mother, who sleeps in my bed. I also have 4 cats and a big old goldfish called Ralph. No disrespect but, after what I've been through over my lifetime, I prefer animals to most people.
L