Caring for My dear Mom 24/7 since 2013 has been one of the great joys of My Life. Mother had been diagnosed with moderate to medium Alzheimer's in 2013. As one Who had Lived the outdoor life for over half a century, I began to learn how to prepare and cook meals, do the laundry, house work, and the many more duties that combine with Caring. Feeling jaded and some what bewildered I called to Mother's GP ( DOCTOR ) and I stated that I feel completely abandoned, and at times out of My dept. The Doctor knowing Our circumstances said, We kneed to get Mother in for RESTBITE Care so that She will be put on the system and get accessed, and it will all flow from there the Doctor said, but One kneed's to request RESTBITE Care first. When I broke this news to Mom She began to get mixed feelings, stating yeragh no I won't go at all, I'm happier here at home, sher You'd let Me there. I reassured Mother that RESTBITE Care is for six days only, then I would call to bring Her home. Since this conversation had been cropping up repeatedly I said..You have got a choice (1) Avail of RESTBITE Care and receive help, or (2) Refuse RESTBITE Care....and I will go back to work immediately, and leave You to manage. There's been no wavering since, as Mom is determined to go. Isn't it very sad that Our Elder's Who are so vulnerable feel threatened by change ?
Lesson over and sorry about that! Johnjoe well done you for giving up on a very active outdoor life to take care of Mum and I have to say I admire your ability to cope with the transitions you must have made.
You will feel jaded - it is normal so don't worry about that and you MUST have respite - you really must. It is THE most difficult thing to get your Mum or whoever to understand that full time care one on one is bloody stressful.
I tried the soft route of getting her to go to a day centre once a week which I know works for some - she wasn't having any of it - absolutely not.
In the end I had only one option and that was, like you to force the issue. She was vile about it I have to say. I paid up front in spades for sending her there (I'm not talking cash here I am talking about pure vitriole from her about it) and I paid again after she came out (but I was in a better place by then)
I do have to tell you that I watched her for about half an hour when I went to pick her up without her seeing me and she was having a fine old time talking to people despite her saying it was awful and would never go again (PS she will!)
SO bear with it keep having the respite because while she may not feel the need you DO have a need to recharge your batteries. xxx