I feel a lot of remorse when my husband just seems to be in another world and I lose my patience. I have to remind myself that he no longer can do things for himself. I get so overwhelmed with his behavior and I have to be apologizing all the time. His mobility and balance are so poor that he falls a lot but he seems to forget and will attempt things he can’t do. Very frustrating.
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My frustrations boiled over when I burned out, and got sick. Luckily, or with Angel help, my aunt had a few ministrokes right around then, and had a hospital stay and rehab, then MC. I was with her all day in the ER, then in again for bronchitis and a severe asthma attack of my own. Very sick. It became obvious even to me that I could no longer take care of her. Only you will know that point for yourself.
You may be nearing burnout, here is my suggestions:
Bring in a physical therapist, or companion who can instruct him. He may not be cooperating or even listening to you. It helps when coming from more of a stranger, imo. You work to help him only when he is more cooperative.
Before you lose your patience, walk outside (yes, in the cold!), and think about how cold it is out there, nothing else. Is there snow, rain? Beautiful, isn't it?
Lower your expectations when he is having a harder time than normal. Just sit him down, cancel your request for him to do whatever it is. Walk away. Or just sit with him, offer water, tea, relax.
Ask him to do less. Think about how important it is to be done right at that moment. Does he need help showering? Bring in help.
How is he with you? Angry, impatient, irritable, ungrateful, demanding, arrogant, dismissive, even yelling? That is hard to cope with.
What else?
Note: His condition will wax and wane, that is normal, he is not faking. Be wise in helping him too much when he is feeling better, as well as wise in knowing when to intervene.
Take one day off a week.
Find a therapist or case worker, social worker to talk to. Come back and talk to the forum, so your anger lessens.
You can do this....