I need some advice! My mom has lived with my husband and myself for the last 2 1/2 years. We both agreed to have her come live with us since she was so unhappy in the nursing home. How to I tell her I don't want her to live with us anymore? It would mean a nursing home for her and that would probably just about kill her. She DID NOT adjust well the last time she was in a nursing home. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
It's good that you are recognizing this and standing up to it.
Carol
I put my mother in an assisted living facility about three weeks ago. It was a very difficult decision,since my mother had been living with us for over three years. We sought counseling prior to our decision and then had a talk with my mother and explained that she could no longer live with us. It was a difficult discussion for all. My mother was very angry!! She is in a lovely facility and seems to be adjusting well. We can now have a discussion as mother and daughter again. She laughs and smiles. I was expecting the worst, but all turned out well. My husband and I have our life back, and mother is being well cared for. We all need to do what is best for all at the time. Good luck to you and keep in touch.
It sounds like you are making sure that your Mom is getting cared for. When we went to see a family therapist about my Mom who lives with us, I told her that I felt like I wasn't doing enough. My mother reinforces that by actions and things she says. The therapist said that I was taking great care of my Mom but not the way my mother would like.My mother lives with us and it has been a difficult past few months. It's hard to tell if her controlling behavior is a result of disease, personality, meds or all of it. Whatever it is I am working on getting some of my life back too!
Good luck!!
I know that my mother says no one else can do anything, but its amazing when I'm impossible to get ahold of, how she manages just fine.
Don't get guilted. She can be happy in her misery with someone else too. :)
Very well put!
scpirate
I'm so glad you had the courage to change this situation. You are now a better daughter as you can care for your mother without the resentment of unsustainable living conditions. Good for you!
Carol
Night.
Linda
Life is too short to keep company with someone who is "rude and hateful." You are being used by this person. I would dump him like a hot potato.
Dar
youre 60 yrs old you need to take care of yourself . hey life is too short !!!
let somebody eles take care of him cuz surely he s not apprecating havin you there .... my father apprecates me and even tells me so . he s worth to take care of . i am 47 yrs old and im not no 60 yrs old .
you said he is a friend , haha what a friend he is !!! friends dont treat you that way !
Examining the heart and other environmental issues can be a huge factor in deciding what to do. Then you just need to do it. Set a boundary for yourself on whatever avenue you choose. But I'm not going to say which way to go. :X
My feelings of obligation and to take care of my mother are overwhelming.
Best of luck to all of you.
I have the same situation, but mom is doing OK and I have great hired help. Without it, I would have never moved her in with us and I am 62 with no kids at home. You have done all you can; now let the people who have been trained take over. She will fight you, but don't give in. Set BOUNDARIES and stick to them.
Good luck