Facing the Loss of A Husband or Loved One.

A good friend of mine is losing her husband of 50 years to dementia and congestive heart failure. He had a stroke on the 12th and went onto a ventilator and a ton of meds. She took him off of everything today and he's on hospice now. She and their daughter are sitting vigil at his bedside.

I saw this poem she had posted on her Facebook page and it resonated with me, strongly.

For all of us caregivers out there, caring for the loves of our lives, and facing loss, this one's for you.

"To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be.

The people they're too exhausted to be any longer.

The people they don't recognize inside themselves anymore.

The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into.

We so badly want the people we love to get their spark back when it burns out; to become speedily found when they are lost.

But it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people they used to be.

It is our job to travel with them between each version and to honor what emerges along the way.

Sometimes it will be an even more luminescent flame.

Sometimes it will be a flicker that disappears and temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness."

💛 Heidi Priebe