I am so sick of arguing and fighting with my 87 year old mom about eating. I am going to keep on shopping and helping her the way I have been, but if she wants to skip meals and eat things that aren't good for her, so be it. The stress and unpleasantness of the arguing is not good for either of us, and she can outlast me in stubbornness. I can't do it anymore. She now has forgotten how to use the microwave so I will get one that is easier to use. If she doesn't want to eat, and winds up in the hospital, so be it. It is her choice.
Is there anything in particular your Mom likes? Just have alll those things ready for her and leave her to choose.
From reading other posts on this site, it is the parents just exercising their independence and authority. Your Mom might just enjoy seeing you struggle to try and get her to eat. So, I think you are doing the right thing by backing off. Maybe when she sees that you are giving in, she will eat on her own. Unless there is some physical issue, she will get hungry eventually and have to eat.
Like you don't have enough to do!......
The last time my dad was in rehab hospital, one of the nurses told me "at 82, he can eat whatever he wants. and the more calories the better. If he wants ice cream for dinner and nothing else, then he can have ice cream"