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Thanks for all the cracks about the boobies. You maniacs you.
OK.: SS: I'm so happy you did what you did for your dad. very huge and a reflection of your sweet heart. Yes, I did forget. I told you guys this stuff was catching!
I am incredibly stressed because I flew back early to be with mom because she is not good and I am scared. She has diminished so much in the week that I was gone that I want to bring her here today and have her here with me for awhile.
Pirate: you are going through the trials of Hades. Dementia is a nasty nasty disease and I hope you take care of you so you don't flip out. When a mom who has always been um... 'not pleasant' gets dementia it truly is hell on Earth. You know those of us on this thread that have experienced BPD and are now experiencing that mom with dementia have gone through our own Hells and that saying of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...' is total BS. I am so weak and sick after giving up my strength to my poor mom that I am having trouble handling business, etc. it's all so overwhelming.
Tennessee, that was a great post and you are a valued member of this crew! I found my dad's Purple Heart and thought of you.
Linda, you are the one who makes me laugh kiddo. Hug your sweet dad for me
Madison, thanks for your sweet words and yes here I am near the end of another parent's life and all I can do is love her love her love her. This is so sad and I am crying a lot lately. the grief and mourning go on and on because we grieve and mourn for our parents for years while they live on with this terrible disease and then when it is finished we grieve some more. I am so tired and I know that we all are so tired.
Well now I am on the West Coast and I know that I'm flying a lot because I am starting to recognize Southwest crew members and they are recognizing me.
There's got to be something funny here somewhere..... oh please let me find something funny.
Hey, Bobbie, forget you tipping them. I'd say some of them should have been tipping you for the free show. LOL You actually forgot?! Oh, my... Do you attribute this to weariness, stress, or what?
Piratess, you dear soul. One day it will end. The end of the road is on the horizon. Stay sane, and you'll enjoy the purple heart.
We just got back from a huge marathon. The funeral was real nice, (considering the circumstances). It was a good trip with 90 year old dad. Lots of hugs and tears. Probably his last long distance journey. He looked nice in the new duds we bought him; probably the nicest he looked in years. So glad we included him. Living without regrets. Honoring the elderly among our family...what a testimony and privilege. I loved being around family, who came in from 4 states. Good to be home though.
tenn , your father sounds like my dad ! he always apprecaiate for what i do for him , thank you , good meal dear . did i hurt ur back ? im sorry . he is a kind man . theres time i can see he s wanting to lash out thats when i leave the room . leave him alone so he could be himself without hurting my feelings . a year and half ago he would say crazy things to get me fired up and i would break down crying , thats the time he wants his keys to the van , im going back to fla ! threaten me . dementia was all doing that , now he s sweet as he can be .
naheaton , ure right we should start calin her boobie321 lol . shes funny , she always makes me smile .
ah meduim s gonna be on here in a bit , i shall go watch it , love that show !
Pirategal, You want to talk constipation!!! Every other day Mom hyperventilates and gets on and off the toilet for hours because she HASSS to go. But nothing comes out. When it finally does, it's usually in her pants and I have to clean her. Keep in mind that the Parkinsons is at the point where she cannot walk on her own anymore, and the dementia makes her forget this fact. So I have to keep her tied to her wheelchair or rocker. So every time she says she has to go, I have to untie her and get her on the pot. Most of the time she has already gone in her pants. Daycare called the other day and she almost got thrown out because she escaped from the rosary room to go to the bathroom by herself. She has a special walker that we had to buy in order for her to stay there 3 days a week. They do not do 1 on 1 care and that is what she needs. Long story, short, she got out of her walker and into the bathroom on her own. They found her on the floor and her sh!!t was everywhere. Of course they told me she was only out of their sight for no more than 2 minutes. Yeah, right! They were pissed off because they got caught with their pants down, and had to fill out all kinds of incident reports. Of course I didn't make any waves, because I need her to be there 3 days a week. So I called the neurologist and she prescribed seraquil to slow Mom's mind down a bit. She is very OCD and won't stop all day. Today was her first day on the new med, and I could actually tell that her mind had slowed down quite a bit to where she could actually finish something she started, and wasn't going crazy over the slightest little thing being out of place. I just hope I don't get fixated on pooping when I get old!
My mom use to say that ,that craziness is worst than physical illness. She would pray her mind would not go and it didn't,she died of liver cancer wiyhin just a few months. I'm not sure which is worst;I believe craziness is worst on the family and then with cancer it takes you physically piece by piece.My dad would say that being the caregiver was as hard or harder than what the patient would go though.Hardest most under apprecated job on earth he would say.no amount of money on earth is enough for what a caregiver would do......he would say. Ya'll would have liked my dad,he would have appreciated and admired each and everyone of you.He would have probably wanted to give you all a purple heart.
Oh yes the Dimential roller coaster. Okay gals (and guys) you know how I have been saying my mommydearest had gotten a notion into her head about the constipation...and she let that story go on and on for 3-4 months now...recently she stopped and her reasonings seemed stronger...then all of a sudden she popped back on the band wagon. I got her number it's all just for attention....and she wants to play the stupid game I call it about how she is supposed to go to the lab test the Digestive Consultant doc want before the next follow up visit (already went once and tried to tell the doc on the sly that it's all in her head..but she's a young doc and probably does not know one iota about dementia)....well anyway now she's starting up again she wants to go to the lab, but oh she don't want to go to the lab...she she wants me to take her...and I told her for a 5 minute blood pull I am not taking off work..the caregiver can take you (it's only up the street)...she wants to play the game where I have to be there...I told her and yelled at her..I am tired of this whole made up game...AND TOLD her I know it's a game...even though she in her demented mind (which to me has been demented since day 1) she wants to keep this farce going. I took the phone off the hook last eve oh around 6:15.....because she constantly wants to call back and keep the harrasment going...around and around the mullberry bush with her...she likes that...it's the craziness...she dwells in her craziness and likes it there. That's been her home for so long...crazyworld up there in her crazy brain. I have had it...she's making me nuts...my b/f can even see the effect and it's not pretty at all. Today at 6 in the morning I placed the receiver back on the hook...no sooner she's made 4 calls....then calls to work...same thing around and around abou this simple issue. It's like she will not leave me alone..it's a sick game...I can't wait for it to end and have a life. A real life with no more crazy in it. Life is crazy enough without her to be added to the mix. She is like Hell that won't extinguish!....She likes to play this hand...Well you come home and we talk about it...yeah directed to you just like that...I said there is nothing to talk about...YOU HAVE THE CAREGIVER DRIVE YOU TO THE LAB...THEY TAKE BLOOD YOU COME BACK HOME..over...nothing that I need to do. She has been to that same lab a million times over her lifetime....what a friggin game....I am tired of her and her mind games! I am tired of the complete mess. Craziness is much worse than physical illness...she is my cancer!
Bobbie~ This may be a good time to begin imagining the unimaginable. Keep your sights on what is in the path of her dear sweet hands that may be able to bring harm to herself with. Removing or placing things out of sight that she doesn't need to get to will most likely take stress and worry off of you. Do not be shy in asking others their advice on the healthcare of your Mother; a lot of people have endured these experiences many times over and can possibly offer good, sound advice. The more comfortable you can make her, the lighter the stress will be on you. My Mother, has suffered from in and out bouts of light dementia to heavy dementia (my names for it) and we know from experience there are medications out there that can help it to an extent. Let it be her doctors' final call. I pray for you. Your family. I pray for your sweet Mother. Love her, love her, love her is the best advice anyone can give to you.
oh bobbie you sure know how to make me smile and giggle . bet everybody at the airport was grinnin too , u just make everybody s day go good . hope u have a happy flights ,. and ur bag doesnt go to st louis , lol .
I'm at the Philly airport looking out over the runways and presently digesting some Mickey Dee's. presently working on digesting...
I tell you, it was a day of forgetting stuff. I forgot to tip the baggage guy for my suitcase. had the money in my hand and just flat forgot. I bet he saw the money too and thinks I'm an A******. I hope my bag doesn't go to St. Louis.
When I went through the security line I forgot I wasn't wearing a t shirt under my denim western snap button jacket and accidentally flashed everyone when I tried to 'remove my coat'.
It really didn't bother me that much but the sight of a middle aged woman's boobies and roll was too much for 2 young guys standing behind me. They were amazed. I apologized for hurting their retinas and everybody laughed.
When I got out the other side of security some old guy in a wheelchair said: Nice Tits. The lady pushing the wheelchair said: Dad! and gave him a joke pop on the back of the head. I said thank you and went on my way.
Of course some of the people in the security line are here at the same gate and what do you do? Everybody is giving me a nice smile. My fly is probably open......
Bobbie, you're such a sweetie. Trying for foresee and figure out "what to do with mom" (or dad) is all our dilemma, isn't it? Flummoxed: that's a good word. Sometimes caring for our parents is perplexing, to say the least. Think about it, whatever we decide affects not only them, but often ourselves, as well.
naheaton, the teeth story is funny. And I can relate. We go through several moments where we try to cover laughter (at least in front of them). Sometimes we have to laugh so we don't cry, though.
Dad had a hard time at the funeral last night. He wanted to leave early, to go back to the room and sleep. I vetoed that, because more people were coming, whom he hadn't seen for several years, and probably will never see again. And when his brother-in-law showed up, they hugged and hugged, and it was a very happy reunion. Very glad I made the decision to have him come down with us!!! He got to see cousins, grandchildren who had previously disowned him (sad), and etc. I took videos, and heard family stories. Memories...
Miz, and Linda, my thoughts are with you ladies, as well.
Pamela, I know you are treasuring those special moments.
Thanks for all your love and support, ladies. May God be with you, and bless all your efforts. May God comfort your loved ones in their remaining days... Hugs to all, Anne
We are in the middle of a sad sad time and I think that Linda put it best. Nice post, Linda. that's exactly how I feel, that they are slipping away.
Pamela, you are a wonder. Your mom is a wonder too. It takes a great person to work in a garden they very well may never see bloom. Thankfully you have that garden and your mom still and you will rest easy when she does.
SS, your strength is amazing. Of course you're tired and worn out. Look at all you've accomplished and how hard it all was and now you have your dad and the sadness of the funeral and omg. I don't know how you do it and may the angels bless you and bless you. That's right... hug that baby boy!!!
i know that I need to read some more posts to catch up but wow, ladies. You caregivers are awesome.
love to Miz.... and how is your mom doing today?
I am off to the airport to go back to LA. My mom isn't doing that well without me and I'm torn thinking about how to get her back into her house and not kill myself with the work at the same time. what to do what to do. I know that mom wants to be here but I truly don't know if I can make it happen. It could kill me. Live in caregivers are rare and the agencies are so glib and the few I interviewed here were..... um... not acceptable.
naheaton. I honestly don't know what to tell your mom about her teeth. The more I think about it, the funnier it gets but man, aside from a robot that responds to the same questions over and over I'm flummoxed.
I'll check in from the airport. Philly has a great computer lounge right next to the gate. Sweet.
I think it's time for a memory loop crazy mother-in-law story. She has been unable to get the new partial upper out of her mouth since she had it made a month ago. The dentist tells her she must take both the upper and the lower out every night and soak them. But she hasn't been able to get them out. She asks me if I want to give it the old college try, I try not to gag and say 'no'. So I took her back to her dentist today for him to figure it out. She wanted me to get a lesson too, but again 'NO' I say. So she comes out after almost 30 minutes and her partial is in a little plastic box. She's really proud that she has figured it out now. He tells her she must keep it out for 48 hours while her mouth heals from all the food that has collected and been sitting there. (yuk) I take the little box and we leave. Exactly one minute later she asks me 'where are my teeth? They aren't in my mouth.' I explain it all again to her. One minute later, 'I can't find my teeth, do you have them?' This was how it was for the next 4 hours as she went with me to do my errands. It was so funny, I mean come on.. how can a person not think that wasn't funny? I just need to remember to call her Saturday and tell her that it's okay to put in her teeth now. Now what was I supposed to tell her?
We picked up dad today at the nursing home. They had his stuff packed. It was a beautiful day for a drive, but sad when he bowed before the open casket of his daughter tonight. I felt so uncomfortable at the funeral home, except with a few of our nieces and cousins. Thank God for them. We're so glad we brought dad down. He hasn't been down for several years. At 90, and after having several strokes, it's not likely he will be back down. But he got to see two great grandsons, and so many others he hasn't seen for many years... It's hard to see everyone getting older, and frail. Life is but a vapor. Strange, when the babies are little, life seems so full of promise, but looking at the elderly, makes it seem so fleeting.
My husband stayed up late last night, writing some thoughts to share at the funeral tomorrow about his sister. What a sad time. And dad outlived his wife and daughter. Wow. I'm tired. Too much travel, and too much heartache. Just tired. Going to go hug my nine year old and fall asleep. Thanks for your prayers.
hi ladies . sounds like al of our parents are going down hill . when we all met on the site for the first time . we had a rough time , heart breakin , going insane . now we are more concerned for our parents , it seems like spring is here and the life patern has changed , mother nature is changing everyday . so is our parent , they seem to be drifting farther away each day and im trying to get him back in . i want him back like he was few yrs back . yet he s drifftin farther away . slipin out of my hands slowly . sleeping is all he rather be doing . few days ago he was asking me where is momma ? i finaly told him the turth , dad shes been gone 20 years , remmy she had cancer and got realy bad dr couldnt do anything for her ? he said yes i remmy . now i feel like he s driftiin farther way , now i wish i didnt say anything other wise his mind be alert and be aware of whats going on . now he lays there and not say anything . :-( ladies . its going to get more sadder as the spring rolls around/ cherrish our parents while they re here . pamela i admire you , ure so full of love . go out of your way to be with your mom and the gardening .
Pam, I'd say God is really working on you. I can read it in your post. So much has changed for you in a short period of time with your mom. So sorry for her decline. I know you'll have no regrets, and some good memories for the time you are spending with her. You are no doubt a great blessing to her. Will keep you both in prayer. Thanks for checking in. Thank you for your kind words.
ewww teristeve. That's pretty gross. Welcome to the club. :)
pam, it sounds like things are going well and you are doing good things. I'm so sorry your mom is failing. She's blessed to have you. That's wonderful that you and your sis are working together. God works in mysterious ways. :)
My mom is doing okay. She just doesn't seem to be very enthused about life. I hope it's just a little phase. I know it will be better when it gets warmer and flowers are planted and she can sit on the front porch. She still misses my dad so much. I'm sure that's part of it. I'm trying to be positive. Things are looking good for my trip to Minneapolis. I got some of my summer tops hung in my closet today. Oh my goodness, I have too many clothes!! I could never buy another stitch and have enough until I die. ;) I've been in contact some with my sister. I'm not sure how that will end up but I'm hoping for the best. I sent a note today to my nephew and his wife. I feel really helpless and they are so far away. I have never even met his wife. Mom has lost some teeth in front and her bridge work is loose on one side. She's not a candidate for dentures because of extra bone on the side and bottom of the inside of her mouth. I have that too. Oh joy. I was telling my hubby today that I'm so tired of the same old same old. But, I know I chose this life and so it has to be okay. Hang in there fellow sailors. Love you!! And hugs!!
Haven't read through many threads but I did see that someone was concerned about me so I thought I'd give a report.
Been spending time with my mom lately because she's taken a turn for the worse. She is very weak now and has fallen a few times. Her mind is really dwindling fast now as she cannot remember things I tell her for 5 minutes. She is shrinking now and looks very small in the bed. She can barely stand with the walker now and her legs seem to really give out easily. Her voice is very very raspy and I have to keep asking her to repeat what she's saying cause it's really hard to understand her now. She's choking a lot more on her food, and it's almost as if her lungs don't seem to be working as well as they should and her breathing has changed a lot. She seems to be having some trouble with her nostrils, it's almost as if they're pinched or something. She went to the doctor and he gave her sinus medicine which doesn't seem to be working much. We keep Vicks Sauve under her nose. I feel helpless and sad but together we push on and continue to work in the garden. I've actually gotten her to take part by transferring some flowers from the front to the back, if you can believe that.
Yesterday we were watching a movie about Isaih Thomas and the impact his mom had on him. At the end of the movie when he graduated and gave all credit to his mom, my mom started crying. All I could do was hug her and tell her how much she's meant to my sister and I.
I called my moms sister out of town to put them in touch with each other and to our surprise her sister is suffering with Dem/Alz too. She has diabetes and had her leg amputated just above the knee. She also had a stroke. I don't even think she knew who we were. It was very sad.
My moms best friend's husband had a leg amputated a while ago, and now the doctors want to take the other one, diabetes. I've been to see her, she is like a second mom to me so I went to represent my mom.
I'm spending more time with mom because of her condition and I feel I need to be there. My sister and I are giving her a lot of attention.
I have to tell you that my sister and I are working together now, I feel a lot better about it and feel God is working on me. I know I feel a lot better and a lot more at ease being at moms house now.
I've also gotten involved in some fundraising/organizing for a local councilman and spent some of my spare time on other sites promoting an upcoming fundraiser which I will be involved in. It is also Basketball Playoff time and as you know I've got to watch my games.
I'm trying to get my oldest son back into college and I'm catching hell with that one so that's taken up a whole new chapter with no unwritten ending. Kids go figure!
I hope everyone is as well as can be expected and your loved ones are coming along fine and I hope you are finding some time for yourselves.
That is disgusting but at least it is not dog poop. My mom picks it up in the yard with her barehands. She also blows her nose in the dish towel and then puts it back in the drawer! Are they infants?
yep some is missin in action , mmmm pamela and pariategal and giles , who eles i cant think of right now . where are you ladies !!! reba !!! ill never forget you ! oxo
Thank you Miz, et al. God has been comforting... You know, I haven't heard from you in a while. How is all going? And from some, it's been even longer... Some caregivers are MIA.
Ya'll never believe it! We are taking my husband's dad down with us (over 300 mile trip; 5 hours each way). And staying in a hotel overnight. He outlived his wife and daughter. That's so sad. This will probably be his last big excursion, and so many he hasn't seen for a long time. He'll be meeting two new great grandsons. Quite the family reunion! I'm tired already.
Thank you, ladies, for your prayers. Laundry tomorrow, then leave early Thursday. It's a 5 hour trip, and then 10am funeral, then luncheon on Friday. I hate this type of family reunion. Think I'm still not believing this...not used to losing someone. Kinda numb. Hubby has been going through pictures tonight. So sad! Dad is 90 and outlived her. Wow. We are going to the nursing home to tell him tomorrow. Thanks for your well wishes and prayers, Bobbie, Linda, and Austin.
Ihardebeck you are such a great daughter your Dad is so lucky to have you to take care of him and I hope you have good people around to care about as we all do. SS I am very sorry for your loss and pray for strength for all of you take care my dear.
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Thanks for all the cracks about the boobies. You maniacs you.
OK.: SS: I'm so happy you did what you did for your dad. very huge and a reflection of your sweet heart.
Yes, I did forget. I told you guys this stuff was catching!
I am incredibly stressed because I flew back early to be with mom because she is not good and I am scared. She has diminished so much in the week that I was gone that I want to bring her here today and have her here with me for awhile.
Pirate: you are going through the trials of Hades. Dementia is a nasty nasty disease and I hope you take care of you so you don't flip out. When a mom who has always been um... 'not pleasant' gets dementia it truly is hell on Earth. You know those of us on this thread that have experienced BPD and are now experiencing that mom with dementia have gone through our own Hells and that saying of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...' is total BS. I am so weak and sick after giving up my strength to my poor mom that I am having trouble handling business, etc. it's all so overwhelming.
Tennessee, that was a great post and you are a valued member of this crew! I found my dad's Purple Heart and thought of you.
Linda, you are the one who makes me laugh kiddo. Hug your sweet dad for me
Madison, thanks for your sweet words and yes here I am near the end of another parent's life and all I can do is love her love her love her. This is so sad and I am crying a lot lately. the grief and mourning go on and on because we grieve and mourn for our parents for years while they live on with this terrible disease and then when it is finished we grieve some more. I am so tired and I know that we all are so tired.
Well now I am on the West Coast and I know that I'm flying a lot because I am starting to recognize Southwest crew members and they are recognizing me.
There's got to be something funny here somewhere..... oh please let me find something funny.
lovbob
Piratess, you dear soul. One day it will end. The end of the road is on the horizon. Stay sane, and you'll enjoy the purple heart.
We just got back from a huge marathon. The funeral was real nice, (considering the circumstances). It was a good trip with 90 year old dad. Lots of hugs and tears. Probably his last long distance journey. He looked nice in the new duds we bought him; probably the nicest he looked in years. So glad we included him. Living without regrets. Honoring the elderly among our family...what a testimony and privilege. I loved being around family, who came in from 4 states. Good to be home though.
he is a kind man . theres time i can see he s wanting to lash out thats when i leave the room . leave him alone so he could be himself without hurting my feelings . a year and half ago he would say crazy things to get me fired up and i would break down crying , thats the time he wants his keys to the van , im going back to fla ! threaten me . dementia was all doing that ,
now he s sweet as he can be .
naheaton , ure right we should start calin her boobie321 lol . shes funny , she always makes me smile .
ah meduim s gonna be on here in a bit , i shall go watch it , love that show !
Daycare called the other day and she almost got thrown out because she escaped from the rosary room to go to the bathroom by herself. She has a special walker that we had to buy in order for her to stay there 3 days a week. They do not do 1 on 1 care and that is what she needs.
Long story, short, she got out of her walker and into the bathroom on her own. They found her on the floor and her sh!!t was everywhere. Of course they told me she was only out of their sight for no more than 2 minutes. Yeah, right! They were pissed off because they got caught with their pants down, and had to fill out all kinds of incident reports. Of course I didn't make any waves, because I need her to be there 3 days a week. So I called the neurologist and she prescribed seraquil to slow Mom's mind down a bit. She is very OCD and won't stop all day. Today was her first day on the new med, and I could actually tell that her mind had slowed down quite a bit to where she could actually finish something she started, and wasn't going crazy over the slightest little thing being out of place.
I just hope I don't get fixated on pooping when I get old!
My Mother, has suffered from in and out bouts of light dementia to heavy dementia (my names for it) and we know from experience there are medications out there that can help it to an extent. Let it be her doctors' final call. I pray for you. Your family. I pray for your sweet Mother. Love her, love her, love her is the best advice anyone can give to you.
hope u have a happy flights ,. and ur bag doesnt go to st louis , lol .
I'm at the Philly airport looking out over the runways and presently digesting some Mickey Dee's. presently working on digesting...
I tell you, it was a day of forgetting stuff. I forgot to tip the baggage guy for my suitcase. had the money in my hand and just flat forgot. I bet he saw the money too and thinks I'm an A******. I hope my bag doesn't go to St. Louis.
When I went through the security line I forgot I wasn't wearing a t shirt under my denim western snap button jacket and accidentally flashed everyone when I tried to 'remove my coat'.
It really didn't bother me that much but the sight of a middle aged woman's boobies and roll was too much for 2 young guys standing behind me. They were amazed. I apologized for hurting their retinas and everybody laughed.
When I got out the other side of security some old guy in a wheelchair said: Nice Tits. The lady pushing the wheelchair said: Dad! and gave him a joke pop on the back of the head. I said thank you and went on my way.
Of course some of the people in the security line are here at the same gate and what do you do? Everybody is giving me a nice smile. My fly is probably open......
love you ladies,
lovbob
naheaton, the teeth story is funny. And I can relate. We go through several moments where we try to cover laughter (at least in front of them). Sometimes we have to laugh so we don't cry, though.
Dad had a hard time at the funeral last night. He wanted to leave early, to go back to the room and sleep. I vetoed that, because more people were coming, whom he hadn't seen for several years, and probably will never see again. And when his brother-in-law showed up, they hugged and hugged, and it was a very happy reunion. Very glad I made the decision to have him come down with us!!! He got to see cousins, grandchildren who had previously disowned him (sad), and etc. I took videos, and heard family stories. Memories...
Miz, and Linda, my thoughts are with you ladies, as well.
Pamela, I know you are treasuring those special moments.
Thanks for all your love and support, ladies. May God be with you, and bless all your efforts. May God comfort your loved ones in their remaining days... Hugs to all, Anne
Yes, naheaton now you KNOW that's funny.
We are in the middle of a sad sad time and I think that Linda put it best. Nice post, Linda. that's exactly how I feel, that they are slipping away.
Pamela, you are a wonder. Your mom is a wonder too. It takes a great person to work in a garden they very well may never see bloom. Thankfully you have that garden and your mom still and you will rest easy when she does.
SS, your strength is amazing. Of course you're tired and worn out. Look at all you've accomplished and how hard it all was and now you have your dad and the sadness of the funeral and omg. I don't know how you do it and may the angels bless you and bless you. That's right... hug that baby boy!!!
i know that I need to read some more posts to catch up but wow, ladies. You caregivers are awesome.
love to Miz.... and how is your mom doing today?
I am off to the airport to go back to LA. My mom isn't doing that well without me and I'm torn thinking about how to get her back into her house and not kill myself with the work at the same time. what to do what to do. I know that mom wants to be here but I truly don't know if I can make it happen. It could kill me. Live in caregivers are rare and the agencies are so glib and the few I interviewed here were..... um... not acceptable.
naheaton. I honestly don't know what to tell your mom about her teeth. The more I think about it, the funnier it gets but man, aside from a robot that responds to the same questions over and over I'm flummoxed.
I'll check in from the airport. Philly has a great computer lounge right next to the gate. Sweet.
love you guys,
lovbob
She has been unable to get the new partial upper out of her mouth since she had it made a month ago. The dentist tells her she must take both the upper and the lower out every night and soak them. But she hasn't been able to get them out. She asks me if I want to give it the old college try, I try not to gag and say 'no'. So I took her back to her dentist today for him to figure it out. She wanted me to get a lesson too, but again 'NO' I say. So she comes out after almost 30 minutes and her partial is in a little plastic box. She's really proud that she has figured it out now. He tells her she must keep it out for 48 hours while her mouth heals from all the food that has collected and been sitting there. (yuk) I take the little box and we leave. Exactly one minute later she asks me 'where are my teeth? They aren't in my mouth.' I explain it all again to her. One minute later, 'I can't find my teeth, do you have them?' This was how it was for the next 4 hours as she went with me to do my errands. It was so funny, I mean come on.. how can a person not think that wasn't funny? I just need to remember to call her Saturday and tell her that it's okay to put in her teeth now. Now what was I supposed to tell her?
We picked up dad today at the nursing home. They had his stuff packed. It was a beautiful day for a drive, but sad when he bowed before the open casket of his daughter tonight. I felt so uncomfortable at the funeral home, except with a few of our nieces and cousins. Thank God for them. We're so glad we brought dad down. He hasn't been down for several years. At 90, and after having several strokes, it's not likely he will be back down. But he got to see two great grandsons, and so many others he hasn't seen for many years... It's hard to see everyone getting older, and frail. Life is but a vapor. Strange, when the babies are little, life seems so full of promise, but looking at the elderly, makes it seem so fleeting.
My husband stayed up late last night, writing some thoughts to share at the funeral tomorrow about his sister. What a sad time. And dad outlived his wife and daughter. Wow. I'm tired. Too much travel, and too much heartache. Just tired. Going to go hug my nine year old and fall asleep. Thanks for your prayers.
sounds like al of our parents are going down hill .
when we all met on the site for the first time . we had a rough time , heart breakin , going insane .
now we are more concerned for our parents , it seems like spring is here and the life patern has changed , mother nature is changing everyday . so is our parent , they seem to be drifting farther away each day and im trying to get him back in .
i want him back like he was few yrs back . yet he s drifftin farther away . slipin out of my hands slowly .
sleeping is all he rather be doing . few days ago he was asking me where is momma ? i finaly told him the turth , dad shes been gone 20 years , remmy she had cancer and got realy bad dr couldnt do anything for her ? he said yes i remmy .
now i feel like he s driftiin farther way , now i wish i didnt say anything other wise his mind be alert and be aware of whats going on .
now he lays there and not say anything . :-(
ladies . its going to get more sadder as the spring rolls around/
cherrish our parents while they re here .
pamela i admire you , ure so full of love . go out of your way to be with your mom and the gardening .
pam, it sounds like things are going well and you are doing good things. I'm so sorry your mom is failing. She's blessed to have you. That's wonderful that you and your sis are working together. God works in mysterious ways. :)
My mom is doing okay. She just doesn't seem to be very enthused about life. I hope it's just a little phase. I know it will be better when it gets warmer and flowers are planted and she can sit on the front porch. She still misses my dad so much. I'm sure that's part of it. I'm trying to be positive. Things are looking good for my trip to Minneapolis. I got some of my summer tops hung in my closet today. Oh my goodness, I have too many clothes!! I could never buy another stitch and have enough until I die. ;) I've been in contact some with my sister. I'm not sure how that will end up but I'm hoping for the best. I sent a note today to my nephew and his wife. I feel really helpless and they are so far away. I have never even met his wife. Mom has lost some teeth in front and her bridge work is loose on one side. She's not a candidate for dentures because of extra bone on the side and bottom of the inside of her mouth. I have that too. Oh joy. I was telling my hubby today that I'm so tired of the same old same old. But, I know I chose this life and so it has to be okay. Hang in there fellow sailors. Love you!! And hugs!!
love,
miz
SS have a safe trip sorry to hear of your loss.
Haven't read through many threads but I did see that someone was concerned about me so I thought I'd give a report.
Been spending time with my mom lately because she's taken a turn for the worse. She is very weak now and has fallen a few times. Her mind is really dwindling fast now as she cannot remember things I tell her for 5 minutes. She is shrinking now and looks very small in the bed. She can barely stand with the walker now and her legs seem to really give out easily. Her voice is very very raspy and I have to keep asking her to repeat what she's saying cause it's really hard to understand her now. She's choking a lot more on her food, and it's almost as if her lungs don't seem to be working as well as they should and her breathing has changed a lot. She seems to be having some trouble with her nostrils, it's almost as if they're pinched or something. She went to the doctor and he gave her sinus medicine which doesn't seem to be working much. We keep Vicks Sauve under her nose. I feel helpless and sad but together we push on and continue to work in the garden. I've actually gotten her to take part by transferring some flowers from the front to the back, if you can believe that.
Yesterday we were watching a movie about Isaih Thomas and the impact his mom had on him. At the end of the movie when he graduated and gave all credit to his mom, my mom started crying. All I could do was hug her and tell her how much she's meant to my sister and I.
I called my moms sister out of town to put them in touch with each other and to our surprise her sister is suffering with Dem/Alz too. She has diabetes and had her leg amputated just above the knee. She also had a stroke. I don't even think she knew who we were. It was very sad.
My moms best friend's husband had a leg amputated a while ago, and now the doctors want to take the other one, diabetes. I've been to see her, she is like a second mom to me so I went to represent my mom.
I'm spending more time with mom because of her condition and I feel I need to be there. My sister and I are giving her a lot of attention.
I have to tell you that my sister and I are working together now, I feel a lot better about it and feel God is working on me. I know I feel a lot better and a lot more at ease being at moms house now.
I've also gotten involved in some fundraising/organizing for a local councilman and spent some of my spare time on other sites promoting an upcoming fundraiser which I will be involved in. It is also Basketball Playoff time and as you know I've got to watch my games.
I'm trying to get my oldest son back into college and I'm catching hell with that one so that's taken up a whole new chapter with no unwritten ending. Kids go figure!
I hope everyone is as well as can be expected and your loved ones are coming along fine and I hope you are finding some time for yourselves.
Love, Pam
Are they infants?
Ya'll never believe it! We are taking my husband's dad down with us (over 300 mile trip; 5 hours each way). And staying in a hotel overnight. He outlived his wife and daughter. That's so sad. This will probably be his last big excursion, and so many he hasn't seen for a long time. He'll be meeting two new great grandsons. Quite the family reunion! I'm tired already.
love,
miz
becareful driving . long trip ..
bless you and ur family.
Blessings,
lovbob