Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Hmm my mommydearest will be 86 this month...and oh so feigning death...NOT, she's healthy as a horses..her demented mind I have to watch, cause she will fool me in a heartbeat. I feel so dumb that I was taken in my a lot of her actions...wow...I am slowly telling her oh your not fooling me anymore..wow. This wednesday is finally the Gastric doc appt..let's see if she can play that fake constipation story with him. I hope he says colonoscopy....she will refuse it...lol...! Every time I am over there I am flushing a big pile of s____t and she leaves it there so I can see it and then claims she can't go...WHAT THE bleep! Oh no more fooling me old lady...nope....I am DONE...FOR THE LOVE OF CRAZY PETE...LOL..wow glad when this crazy roller coaster ride is OVER!

Welcome back, pirategal. How was the sailing today? I've been landlocked for WAY too long. Grandma is 84 and feisty. And what we though was just dementia (haha. Never thought I'd hear myself say that....just dementia!) was finally diagnosed today as Parkinsons. Kinda sucks but at least it explains alot. And now a new journey begins.

sorry my boat just docked, been busy gang...sorry giles don't know all the story..but close enough to all our woes how old is grandma?

Oh, and an update for anyone who read my post from last night....

YES! I did have the prettiest dog poo in the neighborhood today, at least by my standards. But it didn't smell like any jelly beans I've ever had!!!!!! Happy Easter to my doggies!

I envy all of you who have had good experiences while dealing with "professionals". That's the way is SHOULD be.

Miz, you are truly blessed if she's loving. I only get glimpses of the real grandma. They're very brief and few and far in between.

Dtflex, I can completely relate to you about the accusations. We get that here, too. She's accused me of all sorts of things. Putting "stuff" in her water, plotting against her...etc. And the best so far was when she accused us of stealing her teeth out of her mouth while she's sleeping at night. lol Is there a "black market" for old people teeth (and how much would they be worth) or am I just doing it for the fun of it? She gets SO paranoid sometimes. She hides her purse, money, and anything else of value to her under her pillow so nobody can steal them. Smart move, too. Cause I'm not stealing nothin' that's been stashed next to her dirty underwear! LOL She sits and "watches me" when I count her money for her. I have to bring back receipts for anything that I go and buy for her so that she can be sure that I gave her back ALL of the change. It's very hard not to take it personal sometimes...well, alot of the time, but just try to remember that it's not really them that's behaving that way. It was especially hard for me before I started researching Alzheimers and dementia. After learning more, it made it easier for me to remember that it's not her fault. But it is still frustrating. LOL

Wow, for the breakthrough diagnosis. Hope that helps, and they can treat her symptoms better now. One day at a time.

Got some kind of good news today. I'm so glad now that I took grandma in and made them admit her. They send someone from the hospital rehab to her room to evaluate her today to see if she could just be moved to the inhouse hosp. rehab program. The guy had her walk across her room and back, did a couple of motor skill type exercises and gave us his findings. She came nowhere even close to qualifying for inhouse therapy (able to do therapy sessions for 3-4 hrs daily) but he would recommend that she go to another rehab facility that could work more to her pace and ability. Then he says, "She'd also do MUCH better if someone were acually treating her for her Parkinson's Disease". What? He saw 2 or 3 indicators just in the 15 or so minutes that he evaluated her. Recommends that she see a neurologist or movement disorder specialist for treatment. So I came home and started reading up on Parkinsons because I knew little to nothing about it. Turns out as I'm reading down through the symptoms that she has EVERY ONE OF THEM! and has been treated by her doctor at one time or another for most of them. Kinda makes me wonder how she can spend so much time in his office and be treated for so many of the symptoms and he never gave it a thought. I know that they can't catch everything but come on......every symptom. Restless Leg Disorder, anxiety, depression, OCD, tiny handwriting, excessive salivation, bladder disorders, freezing gait, shuffling of feet, loss of balance, psycotic disorders and paranoia, dimentia, delusions and hallucinations...and the list goes on. And for every one of them I read, I'm thinking......"yep, that's grandma!". So although I'm not happy that she has Parkinsons, I am at least happy to have some answers. Now I know what we're up against and how to proceed. That's at least one weight lifted. I absolutely HATE the unknown. So I should hear back tomorrow as to where they will be sending her for some short-term rehab so that she doesn't completely diminish while her side and ribs are healing. At least now it seems as though we're moving forwards. It will be a long road ahead of us I'm sure...lots of trips to Johns Hopkins Medical. Can you get there by boat? Drop me off at Inner Harbor, Bobbie!

Dtflex, that must take so much patience. I really commend you. I am fortunate that my mom is even more loving than before her illness. Wow, I am so blessed!!

Giles, I'm sorry you had such idiots to deal with. When ever I've had to take mom to the ER or have had to call the paramedics they offer lots of praise. It's my mother that swears I am abusing her. I don't know where she gets these notions from. She doesn't trust me when I give her medication. I have to stand there and tell her what every pill is and what it is for. It's very upsetting to have these accusations hurled at you by the person that you have basically sacrificed your life to care for them. I really miss my "real" mom.

giles, I am so glad you had a good Easter. Those jerks you had to deal with infuriate me. When my mom fell I actually had a paramedic that praised me for taking care of Mom at home. All that stress is the very last thing you need. I'm with you on the smokes. It's an escape of sorts for me. You hang in there. I'm so glad you're here. :)

love,
miz

Thanks SS, all of you guys on here are pretty awesome yourselves!

Bless you for all you do, giles! Your grandma is blessed, to have you!

Well, since gma is still in the hospital today, I decided it's the best opportunity to do some heavy duty spring cleaning in her room. Some days I can't keep her out of bed long enough to even change her bedding and do a light cleaning. Now's the time. She'll come home to absolute clean and disinfected! Yay.

Went to the chiropractor this morning and came outta there feeling like a new woman. That feeling didn't last long as I'm flipping mattresses and shampooing carpets but at least I'm getting alot done. It's amazing how much you can accomplish when you can stay focused and on track for more than 20 minutes at a time! If I get enough done, I'm taking the evening for myself to do whatever my whimsy brings me or to do absolutely NOTHING if I so choose. Looking forward to it. It may only last a few days.

giles . i feel ur pain . pa has done thatbefore , i knew when notto call for help . its all part of stroke and dementia . they cant do anything for it , but to send them home .
sometime pa acts like an infant so i know he s bed rest till he snaps out of it. i wont call 911 unless i know somethings wrong here . this part is not new to me so i know . last time he went to hospital was when he had uti . his whole body was shakin so bad and his face turnin blue . oh somethings wrong .
ya know when i got him in hospital they tried to get me to have pa admitted to nh . i told them nana what they do at nh i can do that at home . its better one on one than 1 cna takin care of 25 .
durin the rehab it didnt do any good . they wore my pa out so bad ., do this do that sit in wheelchair too long . he was cryin for bed so he could lay down , for crying out loud he s 86 yr old and his body is tired and achin . they hated it when i come in to see him . cuz i just goput him in bed when he tells me , oh linda im g lad ure here ! put me to bed ! . happy wheelin off to his room , bed ...
hope ur gma dont have to stay in rehab too long . pa was there a week and half , i was so upset when i found his room door shut in the dark and he was leanin to get in bed , whoa pa noooo u ll fall ! i was so upset i couldnt see straight . did some growlin , who put my pa in his room with door shut and its dark ? guess who did it ? not me , not me , ummm i dont know who did . so i dont know who did it . pa didnt know either cuz he couldnt see who was pushing him in there .
screw that crap , he aint going back there ! toomany young 16 yrs old cna s ,
i would report thos amblus , theyre train to be kind and gental . so theyre not trained right ! i bet you if u report it and if they have to come back out again the next time , theyll kiss ur butt so much ! they dont wanna lose thier job !
go report them rotten guys !

I've been told by friends that I should file a complaint for the ambulance driver and the hospital staff but I'm half afraid to because it's likely that I'll have to take her there again. Any advice on whether I should or shouldn't? I'd love to give them a big ole blast of Sh#@ but seeing the way they treat people, I wouldn't put it past them to give even less than acceptable care if I file a complaint about them. Small town and likely to have the exact same people if she ever has to go to the ER again. What to do?

I will, however, definitely be sending a letter to the hospital telling them how impressed I was with her ER doctor (that got her admitted). Doctors who actually care are a dying breed and I'd like to let him and the hospital know that his exemplary behavior was very appreciated. He deserves a pat on the back.

LOL on the starburst droppings. It was a happy find for your four legged friend, for a while, anyway.

You made a real good point about the NH falls. I've seen 'em there, and get the calls when our dads fall down. It's bound to happen anywhere, given the medical conditions that cause em. Still can't believe the way you were treated! "...."playing the system..." Wow!

giles, the audacity of that ambulance guy is scary! Funny how everybody thinks an impersonal institution can do better for our loved ones than a loving daughter (or son). Heavens! They want our kids, too. Cradle to grave. And all our money. Frightening, isn't it?! Anyway, good for you for not letting them intimidate you. Nasty bunch you had to deal with. I can't imagine. You get a medal for all that mess. Yes, a boat ride sounds a lot nicer than all you've been through lately. You do deserve a break today!

OMG! An entire bag of starburst jelly beans just disappeared withing the last 15 minutes and everyone is asleep but me. I have a feeling that my yard is gonna have the prettiest dog turds in the neighborhood come morning. lmao! And with that realization....I'm going to bed. nite all.

Thanks SS. Everyone automatically looked at me like I wasn't doing my job since something was wrong with her. The last thing the ambulance guy said to me before he walked out the door was "apparently you should be looking at other options if you can't take care of her here." Excuse me?! The nurse at the ER made a big stink about her falling this past Tuesday. it is a big deal but my neighbor's mother fell and broke her hip IN A NURSING HOME. and then 2 months later fell out of her wheelchair and broke the other one...IN THE SAME HOME. Why does everyone assume that they get better care in a home? It infuriates me! I felt like I had a bullseye on my chest all day long. Some professionals.

We've kinda figured she's been having mini-strokes on and off for awhile now but haven't had any testing done to find out. My guess is that that's what brought on the dementia so quickly. I just can't bring myself to put her through the testing when there's nothing they can do for it even if it's diagnosed. I have seen that weird blank look on her face a few times before and strangeness usually follows. She had an episode before she moved in with us and the right corner of her mouth has had a slight droop ever since. Stroke was the first thing I thought of.

Bobbie, I really could have used a boat ride yesterday. lol

giles, wow! You certainly deserved a day off! Goodness. Hope they find what was wrong with her. Sounds like a stroke. My dad had those, but did slightly recover after. Please keep us updated. Bummer for the way you were treated by "professionals."

So glad to hear that most of you guys had a great weekend. Wish yours could have been better, Miz. Mine wasn't the best weekend overall but I did have a really good, very relaxing day today for Easter. I'll take it. Spent nine and a half hours at the hospital yesterday. Gma was doing great (even better than usual) Fri. nite but woke up Saturday morning calling for help. "Mom, help. Dad, help me. Help me. Mom, Dad, I need help!" .Ran in to check on her and she could barely move. Couldn't sit up, couldn't roll to one side. Could barely even lift her head up. And every once in a while when I would be talking to her, her eyes would get huge and she would stare straight ahead with her mouth open like she was stone. I talked to her, waved my hand in front of her face and nothing. It was like she wasn't there. I freaked out! Had to call 911 to send an ambulance because I couldn't pick up her weight. While waiting for them to arrive, she peed EVERYWHERE. Soaked the diaper, soaked the plastic pad under her butt, soaked the mattress and everything else within a 5 mile radius. Now I'm spazzing out because neither of us could lift her hips so that I could change her. Ambulance guys showed up and were the most royal of PRICKS that I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. Continued to ER to be harassed and all but accused of beating and abusing her by the ER nurse because she has bruises all over her from head to toe. Fact that she's on 3 potent blood thinners and bruises if the wind blows on her too hard didn't matter. Wasn't til the ER doc came in and set the nurse straight that she lightened her attitude. Ran every test under the sun. All came back negative. That's good and that's bad. Good cause I don't want anything to be wrong with her but bad cause I know that something IS wrong with her. They weren't gonna be able to admit her because the tests were negative. Sent in a social worker who was a complete condescending b#@%#. She was no help at all. Informed me there's nothing they can do and all but accused me of trying to play the system, trying to "dump her off on them", knowing they can keep her for up to 3 days. Again, not adding to my day. By this point I had already been in the ER for 7 hours. Had nothing to eat or drink that day yet and hadn't had a cigarette since before I left my house that morning. I could kill at this point. No coffee, no smokes, and a bunch of pricks stressing me out. After shedding some tears and putting up some theatrics, the ER doc (who was very nice and compassionate) took pity on me and admitted her and told me that they would do what they could and that he would get her into rehab to build her strength so that she could come back home. I am SO thankful for those out there that not only do their jobs but find it in their hearts to go above and beyond. Not too many people like that anymore. Had one more doc give me a bunch of attitude, another round/battle of words with the social worker (I know that's not in my best interest to piss off the social workers but I wasn't exactly rational at this point) and finally got her to her room. Settled her in and left while she ate her supper. Poor woman was just having her first drink of water and first meal of the day at 6:30 pm and still hadn't gotten any of her daily pills yet. I felt SO bad for her. She was a super sport though. I think she held up through it better than I did. Could be the fact that she slept for about 5 of the hours we were in the ER though. Either way, I was proud of her. Came home completely drained physically and emotionally. Had a Monster Thickburger, large fry and Gargantous size soda for supper. I think I can still feel it clogging my arteries a day later but wow did it taste good! 3 cups of coffee and half a pack of cigarettes later and I started to pull it together. Did the Easter Bunny "duties" for my daughters Easter basket and fell asleep before I even hit my pillow.

Fortunately I can say that today was as good as yesterday was bad. Did Eastery activities at the house this morning, went to lunch at my moms, visited gma for awhile this afternoon and smuggled her a plastic egg of jelly beans. She looked better today and was eating like crazy. Went home and did a front yard Easter Egg Hunt and relaxed as a family for the afternoon.
It's kind of upsetting that she's in the hospital for Easter but for as bad as it sounds, it was REALLY nice to be able to have a "normal" carefree holiday as a family and not have to worry about whether we'll even be able to go if gma isn't up to it, or worrying about getting home cuz she's tired, etc. The whole day was SO relaxing. Doc says they are gonna move her to rehab tomorrow so I have no idea how long to expect her to be in there. So we're back to day to day. But today I am thanking God for not just all of the glories of the Easter holiday but also for a day off!
I'll count my blessings as I fall asleep tonight!

Thank you, dear Miz! Just thanking God, and praying follows God's plan for his young life. Already, he's a blessing. God is good!

Miz, hope you have a good week, and take care of yourself.

That goes for all of you caregivers...

SS, I'd say you had a wonderful weekend!!!! I'm so happy for you. No one deserves it more. :)

Miz, I read it, but buzzed right on past it; sorry for that. Sorry to hear about your dad's friend and the funeral. Must have been hard to see someone who looked like your dad.

Thanks for your sweet comment, Bobbie.

The best part of the whole weekend, was not my birthday, or our little vacation on Friday. Nor was it our 12 year anniversary today. And Easter is a very big deal (thank you, Jesus!), but our personal excitement came this evening at church, when our little boy decided he wanted to be baptized! That made Easter all that much more special for us! Especially for him! So, we are praising the Lord!

bobbie, you are such a jewel. I'm so glad they found your suitcase. It's actually only 3 hours away from me. That's so funny about your mom and the earthquake. I felt a couple of them when I lived in San Diego but none that lasted that long. I remember the floor lamp swaying in the dining room though and the closet doors making a racket. Pretty scary cause you don't know how bad it's gonna get. It's sounds like you made some people happy at your mom's place. LOL @ $2 hooker. I'd hope for at least $50. LOL j/k. Thanks for making me smile. :)

Hey Miz, I din't see your second post there until this minute. I'm sorry you're down and of course that will put you in a funk. Sad stuff. sorry for your pain. sux. hug and kiss the hubby.
It's Spring and we are alive. look at the rebirth of the Earth, and think about the BOAT, baby. It's all going to be ok and we're going to be at peace and have fun. Concept.

there's got to be something funny around here somewhere....

I just ate a chocolate rabbit and am feeling a little woozy, bear with me.

Mom had a good time with her BLT and colorful eggs. Everybody at the place got 1 or 2 eggs and then I came home and ate the rabbit. I need an Alka Seltzer. BRB

I made a mistake earlier when I was at the CVS. There was a display that had "Fantasy" perfumes and one said "Strawberries & Champagne" and I thought I could go for some strawberries and champagne so what the hey and gave myself a little squirt. omg
I ended up smelling like a 2 dollar hooker and still had to go to the supermarket.

SS I hope your mini trip was a blast. You are such a sweetheart.

OH! I was at mom's place when that earthquake went off. I was sitting on the couch watching the big sceen and the rolling started. It is the most amazing sensation and I sat there watching the curtains sway gently back and forth and felt the couch moving back and forth under me. It went on for 30-45 seconds.. a long one.
So while this is happening I look down the hall and here comes mom. She's chugging along on her own, no stick, knows there's BLTs waiting on the table and she's on a mission. What earthquake.

They finally found my suitcase from my failed attempt at getting on an airplane last thursday. It's in Chicago, getting loaded onto an lax bound plane as we speak. I missed the plane, but my suitcase went from Los angeles to Houston to Philly to Chicago and it's supposed to be back here around midnight.

A continuing happy Easter for us all.

lovbob

God bless you all this Easter!

Happy Easter, bobbie!! I'm probably going to start with just a half railing thingie on her own bed. We'll see.

happy Easter, Miz!

Maybe there's some kind of inflatable thing that could go under a foam mattress... then she could have her same bed but with a few rudimentary features of a hospital bed. I'm probably full of it but maybe something like that exists.

Today is Easter so it's time for my annual Cadbury Egg.

Talk to you guys when the sugar coma wears off.

lovbob

I have been out of contact for so long. Welcome to the new ones. I have enjoyed reading your posts. I have just been so tired and unable to think well enough to read or write anything that makes sense. Forgive me if I don't respond to some of your posts. I'll try to stay up to date from now on. One of my really good friend's dad died and I had the visitation Friday night and hubby and I went to the service and luncheon on Saturday. I think it put me into a funk. Sure made me think about my dad. Even saw a man in the pews who so reminded me of my dad from the back. It's so hard to see people that you love so sad. My friend got up and talked about her dad as did her brother. I'm not sure I could do that. She said she doesn't know how she did it but she did it. Bless her heart.