Grossed out and need to vent—I just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!

Yeah! pick up stix!
Mom's getting down with the three ingredients taste and I'm over here knoking it back and forth with you guys

I like the complimenting parrot idea Miz. The parrot could say to me: Bob! Nice Rack!
Of course I would think the parrot was complimenting the place you store the dinghy.....

lovbob

Pirate, I like the name Cap'n Cook also.

bobbie, I must admit I am afraid of birds. I'd have to keep my distance until I trusted him/her. I guess I just picture it on Pirate's shoulder. LOL.

LOL bobbie!! Pirate, How frustrating for you. is your mom underweight?

I like the name of Cap'n Cook for the Parrot....it can be a small parrot..some small ones talk as well.

Oh and now she can't handle sugar laden stuff now...no more donuts or cinamon rolls or pastries in which she always ate for years. I have given up bringing stuff over cause heavy meats don't suit her well. So usually I make little soup bowls and sandwiches...try to get her to eat yogurts and activia and little pudding cups and fruit cocktail (it's hard to get her to eat anything other than pears...she has a story about every thing, bananna's constipate you the apples are too hard..,yadda yadda yadda...it's like a finicky 5 year old..lol)

I like parrots but am acutely aware of that huge beak and my eyes.
I also don't know what parrot s*** and a rolling deck can do. that deck is slippery enough!

If we had a parrot it would probably cuss and crack us all up.

could be a real hoot when we're trying to clear customs in the Bahamas. the official will board the boat to inspect it on our entry and the bird will say: so happy to see you! The Booze is in the PilotHouse!

lovbob

miz it's just the V8 Splash she is saying that about,.,a few weeks she was so crazy about that stuff I had to buy 2 bottles every week now it's hell's brew to her. (Her sister got her on the V8 juice kick so her eyes will benefit even though her eyes are in a def decline per retina specialist..,..but my mom listens to whatever her 84 year old sister tells her not what I say) yeah several months ago after she came home from the psych ward she was eating sweets up the ying yang no more (she had a chest in her bedroom entirely filled up with chocolates she had hoarded and was eating it...until I think she finally had enough and miracously all the chocolates disapeared I think she trashed them)

We could teach the parrot to give us compliments.

Pirate, for awhile there all Mom would eat was stuff that tasted sweet. I tried to vary her diet by giving her stuff with bar-b-que sauce and such. I have heard that their taste buds go also. I've never heard about things tasting like onions though. What do onions taste like to her? ;))

My mom is so picky about eating...at least one good thing about my dad was he tried everything and had a wide palate..but oh no not mommy dearest. What's funny is she never liked mayonaise (but it was okay when she made macaroni salad..go figure) and when I make her turkey sandwiches I use mayo, just so they are not so dry. I was reading lately about how when you get older your taste buds go...mom has been complaining about things not tasting good now..,and things taste sour (coffemate - no perishable milk products in it - had to take all the vanilla ones home) or tastes of onions (yeah now V8 splash tastes like onions go figure)...will be taking that home. Also I read that they have little or none sputum to get food down, so it's best not to have to dry food for them.
Sorry I digressed....good on ya that mommy likes chinese....Pick up Stix has a good beef/broccolli beef bowl for 4.99.

bobbie, when I typed that I was worried/thought that someone else suggested that. LOL that's a cute story about when you were 4. I think they are very smart birds. One of my good friends has one. He says "Hello" when the phone rings and he sounds just like her. His name is Dudley and he also say "Bye Dudley". :)

Hey Miz... did you see back a few pages on the thread I was thinking parrot myself!

Here we go: what would the parrot learn to say?

What's the parrot's name? Cap'n Cook, Rogue Wave,

the first parrot I ever met was at the National Zoo in Wash DC.
I was 4 and kept calling the parrot a chicken and the parrot kept saying, 'I am NOT a chicken.' I still don't know how they pulled that off or if the parrot was truly insulted and let me know it.

lovbob

bobbie, your mom sounds like a riot. Chinese food sounds really good right now. Hubby is bored and hungry so he's gone to KFC for chicken and BISCUITS!!!! Yum!!!!

Thanks you guys. you are so amazing and sweet and I love you and have never even met you!

Mom and I have called out for some Chinese food tonight. It's an extravagance on my part but she loves it and so do I. Nik is off visiting his parents.

His mom hates me. She should. I'm older than she is.

There is a terrible tv show called 'It Only Hurts When I Laugh' and mom loves it. She's sitting in her chair laughing at the people getting it in the nuts or getting banged on the head or falling down the steps.

another show she likes is 'Little Miss Perfect' with the kid pageant contestants and their moms. Mom waves at them when they wave and tells me that she sees me on the tv.

I could scare a freight train up a dirt road on a good day and can just marvel at my mom who thinks I'm beautiful.

Wow.

To hell with sad. I'm concentrating on how to get my hands on that boat.

Boat and Joke Time!

lovbob

I have only visited two places. The first place I did not like and put a bad taste in my mouth..the second place was more like a hotel, but just like bobbie I think my mom needed more one on one care since she's always touting she can't do things for herself anymore (even though I know she can still do a lot). So then the first place did not seem so bad anymore and seemed more fitting since they left bedroom doors open and the like so there is more interaction. I think what will benefit my mom is a roommate. I have A PLACE FOR MOM rep looking for more for me to visit. Since I work everyday I know there will be a time when a place that can watch her 24/7 will be helpful, and I always can stop in after work and on weekends to do any primping or whatever needs looking after.

I got lots done today so I feel pretty good about that. It seems that when my hubby is motivated then I'm more motivated. Laundry is at least under control. Our CNA cleaned out the refrigerator for me last Thursday. What a sweetheart she is. I kept telling myself to do it but you know how that goes. I'm thinkin' we should definitely have a parrot on the boat. I mean we're gonna have a pirate right? ;) We could teach the parrot to say stuff. :)

Awwwwww. Bobbie, I feel for you and your mom. Life's decisions are sobering, at times, aren't they? Sorry to hear your news, but let's hope this place will be acceptable to her.

bobbie, It sounds like a very good place for your mom. I hope tomorrow goes well and she loves it. I bet they will pamper her like a NH could/would not. You'll get through this, sweetie. No need to thank us for your patience. We are here for each other. :)

Love,
miz

well said, SS

I have drama here today. the beautiful 'place' where mom was to stay when I went back east for business cannot take her because her level of care has increased. I spent most of the day touring NH facilities and the difference is a heartbreaker. The places are beautiful and run very very well by respected and certified NH caregivers, but it's not the same and I still have to break it to mom.

We have an appointment for tomorrow at noon for mom to see the house I've chosen. It's bright and airy and the ratio is 3 to 1 residents to caregivers. I do love that because i keep mom fresh and clean all day long no matter what.

Mom's been looking forward to the 'resort' facility and it will be sad when she sees the difference in the rooms. These rooms of course have hospital type beds and don't have the 'ambience' of the hotel like atmosphere of the other. The plus side of it all is that the level of care is all the way and that is what mom needs right now.

The lady at the first place just told me straight out that mom could very well decline there because she wouldn't get the level of care that I have been providing.
Their ratio is 15 to 1.

It just won't work for mom anymore. It's so tough to see our moms through a professional's eyes and realize that they have declined more than we knew.

The good news is that the new place is a beautiful home here in LA. Doesn't look like NH and doesn't have the indifferent looking staff that I witnessed at a few locations in NJ.

Tomorrow will tell the tale when I take mom over there for a tour. Oh man.

thanks ladies for your patience though my own ordeal and I hope everyone is having a good day.

much love for Miz and SS and Pam and KelleyBean and Anne and Rep and Nutz and PirateGal and if I missed someone, sorry I'm just not myself right at the moment.

I am enough of myself to remember this:

BOAT!

lovbob

Sorry. It did not post. Guess you'll just have to take my word for it. LOL

Sad when we have to defend the right to vent. Gee whiz!

Okay I read that same wall - yep some folks don't like that we spill our guts here. But they are taking it all wrong we are not making fun of our parents but telling true stories that make you squirm in your seat if you are squeamish about body functions and the obtuse things that these older folks do. Granted we will be old one day but then again we may realize what we went through and will try not to be that way if we can help it. Once again it's not like we are on here to make fun of them but to discuss our trials and tribulations which might not be so much fun or normal for that matter. Some of this throws a normal person for a loop. We are not trained caregivers and if some lighthearted jests are just that offensive well then they don't have to participate nor read these types of posts.

to all...
I was objecting to the 'behind the back' comments on the various 'walls'.

I said 'ain't that the truth' to linda's 'damned of you do and damned if you don't' comment.

On some of the threads I've posted on, one person always answered in harsh tones to everyone, and very judgmentally, etc., especially when it came to someone talking about their "mom." I went to her wall, and found she was a widow, and had never actually been a caregiver to anyone, but was telling others what to do, and how to feel. Sad. She was also missing her mom...and couldn't STAND if someone said something negative about theirs. People forget that another's reality may not be theirs. A little compassion and understanding can go a long way. Perhaps we can answer the way someone did me when they didn't agree: "Thank you for voicing your concern."

What I love about this site, is that one of us can be feeling like absolute poo, and someone can come along and say something sweet to lift our spirits. Sometimes all we need is a little cyber hug. (((((((love you, ladies!)))))))

Nutz, that's a brilliant idea...really! Imagine a 'Love Boat' type of caregiving boat..."The Careboat" - for relief of caregivers, part of the boat is for the ones being cared for under supervsion and the other for the caregivers and they have a good time and stop in and can see their loved one when they choose to. It CAN happen more than one idea has blossomed from ideas.

bobbie - the wall, you can read what they snivel about?,...ha ha ha, can you copy and post some of it here?...l could use a good laugh from some chickens.

hardebeck....everyone is entitled to their own opinions and also we have freedom of speech, one great thing about living in a democracy. But don't let what others say bring you down..,don;t let anyone intimidate you stand for what you believe in...don't let anyone behind some dumb internet facade get you down...you will never ever meet them in your entire life so don't let them get you down. You know what they say about bungholes/opinions everyone's got one! Also smart intelligent debate is always welcomed..;..and as always one has to be open to listen to both sides. But no one has the right in here and tell someone what is right and what is not...PERIOD. Opinions are one thing but then trying to dictate what is wrong and right in a message board.....welll there is no room for that...cause then freedom of speech and thought would be thrown out the window. Who are they to say what we can and cannot say on a message board...who becomes the censor then? What is being discussed here is hurting no one in a real sense.,.,.they are throwing their attitudes and beliefs and trying to judge without thinking what this entire website is for *the caregiver*. Once again that is their opinion and their opinions DO NOT JUDGE US AT ALL.

Yes. We have the right to choose what we share or not share on this site and should not be judged for it. :)

ain't that the truth!
Good way to look at it.
Thanks

lovbob

some people are very private and not so open and some would feel so open minded and tell all .
just be yourself and say what you gotta say ,
id say what i wanna say and i would keep quite about some things i dont wanna say .
i love my dad and there s some personal things i keep it to myself . if i had to take care of my mother in law i prob get it all out , lol cuz she is a hand full .
ive been hurt by some commets in the past cuz one person didnt agree on what i said , it realy hurt me bad . cuz i am a loving person and i cant help it . then again there was some others stood up for me and told them to get off my back ! that made me feel beter to know that there is others out there that agrees with me .
in my case its always DAMN IF U DO DAMN IF U DONT ....

I second that, Anne. :)