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tonight was a bad night mom litteraly attacked me hitting an kicking me all because I fought with her to to put tiolet paper up her vagina. I had to take her by the arms and put her down on the bed so she could get control of herself I really hated her at the point and I had to take a step back because I could have hurt her because she is so fragile but she really is strong when she wants to be.
I gave her two zanax and I thought she was asleep but I went to the bedroom and found the sliding doors to the closet off the tracks and my full lenth mirrow on the other side of the bed she reaaranged some of my furniture> We will have to cal the dr. tom and see if we could put her on something stronger.
does anyone know of a good pill that can put them to sleep so that I dont have to go through this everynight when I get her for good in October?
My dad had a near fatal heart attack when he was 60. Shortly there after, he developed glaucoma, Parkinsons, prostate cancer and Alz. I didn't live near my parents and could only see them every 2 mos. Dad displayed all kinds of behavior and I never knew what caused what. Thanks for the info on some of these diseases. It kinda puts the pieces of the puzzle together after all this time.
I think the best thing that ever happened to my mom was an eye exam by an opthamologist. And it came way to late. I am still having problems finding anyone to get her low vision assistance. She was doing crazy things like that for thirty years. Only five years ago, they noticed glaucoma and have since operated, but it is inoperable.
GP, Definitely get him to the neurologist! They will get him going on Sinamet, which my mom takes in both the regular and extend release. She is on the generic called Carbidopa and Levodopa. These help to stop the tremors for the last 10 years. They do get worse with stress and anxiety is a big part of the disease. It will take time for them to get the dosage right. be patient and keep records of how he feels and when the meds wear off. This will help the process of getting the dosage right. I will tell you that the drug will make him nauseous. I take Requip for restless leg syndrome for 4 years now and still get sick within the hour of taking it, almost every night. It is Dopamine, the same thing that is used for Parkinsons. I only have to take it before bedtime, but he will be on a schedule of it all day long. Hopefully the meds will make a tremendous difference for him . It's not an easy disease to live with. I wish you both luck in getting things rolling for him.
I know my mother did not want me going away to school and tried every way to discourage but it did not work I was determined to get the hell out of our one horse-wait a min. no horse town , One day she said to my aunt I guess I did all right you kids turned out all right my mouth just dropped open and to keep the peace I said i guess while thinking OMG how many years of therapy I went through.
WOW deef, I didn't know that Parkinson's meds cause hallucinations! Is it all or most of them that do? My husband isn't on any PD meds right now. He goes to Vanderbilt later this month & they'll probably put him on something then. He was on Sintament (sp?) a few years ago, but that didn't help him so he came off of it. It's such a weird thing with him in that he has just kinda fell through the cracks...Maybe self imposed! He was diagnosed at his regular doctor with PD & he sent him to Emory in Atlanta, who confirmed the diagnosis. The doctor there was such a jerk that my husband wouldn't go back & as a result he wouldn't give the med that he prescribed a chance. He hasn't seen anyone but his regular doctor in a few years, except for 2, now get this, chiropractic neurologist. They did help him to some degree, but as we all know men can be stubborn & he wouldn't even talk to you about seeing a regular neurologist or going to Vandy until about 5 months ago & he finally agreed to let me get him a referral to Vanderbilt. We've been waiting for his appt. for that long! He's now looking forward to going. I just hope that it's not too late & that they'll still be able to help him in some way. I could just strangle him, though! I told him that he was making decisions that were affecting both of us & I didn't have any control at all as to what was happening in my life, but I'm still expected to be there to take care of him! I know that he's gotta be scared & after reading some of the other posts, I'm now wondering if maybe he had early onset dementia back then?!?! I love him so much, & he really is a good guy, but this is just NOT how I envisioned my life being at 48! Yes, I'm depressed, but I'm also so angry! Sorry, I didn't mean to go that far! I gotta stop or I'll start crying to the point that I can't hide it &. that just makes the tremors worse when he gets upset or stressed. deef, I guess this kinda went along with your comments on men, huh??
Castoff and Always...yes it is tough....I look around today and see the kids around me and their parents can't even spoil them enough. It's just amazing. I know many people say it is their experiences and upbringing that made them the way they are, especially after WWII and coming from the 'old country', but to not be influenced by others around you. I guess they did not pay attention to normal happy families....nope my dad liked All in the Family where the father was also always grumpy he identified with Archie Bunker. I remember going to our tax man after my dad died and he told me some things my dad had said that also made me very sad. Things you are shocked to learn how your parents did not want the very best for you always hurts. Even before my dad died he even was being an ass. I was running cable from one of the rooms into his bedroom so he could have cable tv and he was grumbling about me not doing something right. But I managed to hook it up anyway. I knew how to do it way before he did anyway from an old b/f. Now my mom is benefiting from me hooking up that cable 12 years ago. She constantly has the FoodNetwork on...no other channel - CREEPY AND PSYCHO.
Thanks so much, deefer. You are right, I will keep on keepin' on. Especially with everyone's wonderful support here. Whatever would I do without all of you??
Miz, I believe that with every couple, one person is needy. There is nothing wrong with that. My husband and i have been together for almost 41 years and married for almost 38 of those. He has always been the needy one and I the strong one. That's okay with me because my personality can handle this most of the time. But there are many days that I would like to run away from home. We are emotionally stronger. You are not asking too much! We all wish we could have someone to support us and make our lives easier. That's definitely nothing to be ashamed of. Five years caring for Mom has taken it's toll and you are still going strong. You'll keep on doing what you have to, because you are stronger than you know!
Miz, We all have bad days & some dates bring up painful memories. My dad passed 11 yrs ago this month. We were not on good terms & I am sorry we didn't reconcile before he passed. I didn't realize at the time that much of the hostility was due to my mother & not him. My dad was just a guy. It took hub & I 3yrs & 8 gallons of bleach to clean up his house so mom could sell it, so I guess we're even. I of course had dreaded that my whole life & knew what I was in for long before it happened. I'm glad your dad was a good dad and you can remember him in love. That is precious for you. B321, My condolences toward you & Nik. We know you will be there for him as he was there for you. GOD's comfort & peace to your family in this time of mourning. Pirate, Our childhoods were very similar. I was discouraged from dreams also. My parents "planned" my eventual servitude to them. It didn't work out that way too well for them. Shortly after my dad told me a knight in shinning armor would have to come get me out of the house....3 wks after my 18th birthday I moved out & never looked back. I had been taught to be responsible for myself so I put it to work for me. I made a life for myself (with mistakes) and never asked them for anything. My parents are/were just as self absorbed as yours. The odd thing is that they can't/won't understand why we are angry/hurt. It doesn't even occur to them. The answer I got was "I fed you". OK, should I do no more than feed her? If it weren't for CHRIST living in me I would have abandoned her long ago. It is a quandry & I understand how you feel. Forgivness is so hard when your nose is rubbed in it all the time. Glad you were able to get some rest. GP, Hope you are feeling better. Please watch your sodium levels. A combination of BP & thyroid meds can make you pee out all of your sodium & that is VERY dangerous. People are dropping from low sodium/electrolytes, so please be careful dear. GOD put salt on this earth for a reason & gatoraide helps too. Tomatoes also have an abundance of uric acid which can keep your urinary tract clean like cranberry juice. Diane, Kathy, Rip, Austin, CC & all others....My best to you & yours for improvement in your lives. Prayers for a smoooooth & peaceful week.
deef, my husband I have been married for a year and together for 4 years. I have been taking care of mom for 5 years. I just don't think men want to deal with the issues or know how to comfort a woman. They can't talk to a woman the way women can talk with each other. That has been my experience anyway. I think women are emotionally stronger in that way than men are. I don't know. Maybe I ask for too much. I don't know.
Pirate, I feel your pain about wanting to persue art. I wanted to take art in high school. Mom told me I was stupid to even think about it because I had no talent and SHE didn't think it was a good idea. I was crushed and to this day I've never forgotten the hurt and I still resent her. For many years, I tried to forget it. Then I decided I'd show her. I started drawing, I created my own embroidery patterns, and I learned to decorate cakes. My dad (who never knew what mom had done) beamed with pride at my projects and the wedding cakes I designed. Mom ignored my efforts and never gave any acknowledgement whatsoever. Typical of her. Thanks for letting me share my story. Mary
Sorry you are all feeling so down! Although I get depressed all the time, I do not suffer from depression. It is something that many members of my family do battle with every day along with anxiety. My husband is very moody and gets depressed easily. He is on Ziac, a mild drug, to keep him calm. It doesn't always work and I get to deal with his moods, and Mom at the same time. Miz and Sanna, Husbands can be an asset, but more often than not, only add to our stress because they can't or don't want to see how stressed we are. You have to look at it from their side too. They probably never imagined losing us and a good part of their lives to care giving responsibilities and all the added burdens, financial, etc., that go with it. As angry as I get with my husband for sometimes being a baby and adding to my stress, I can understand why he is so pissed off at the whole situation. As for hallucinations, Parkinsons meds are a major cause of them as are many other drugs they are taking. Mom is getting worse in that area all the time, and we just go along with her. It's something you learn to do to help you both deal with it. Arguing or correcting them just agitates them and scares them. Mom is now starting to tear and shred her diapers at night. I can no longer put disposable pads under her at night either, so more laundry! Pirate, I'm so happy you were able to catch up on sleep and relax some. You deserve time to yourself. It must have been so hard for you all these years. I hope you will eventually find some peace. Keep up the "Chowder" for some much needed laughs! Got to go check on Mom. Can see her picking at something on the camera.
Diane, I'm so sorry your nephew is acting that way. It's so insensitive and just wrong. I'm afraid men just don't understand.
I feel like the weight of the world is on me right now. I'm so very tired. I need some help here. My job is stressful. Home is stressful. I'm anxious and depressed much of the time. I think I'm always anxious and I'm on meds for both. Hubby says I grind me teeth at night and it drives him nuts. Sounds like many of us have depression and anxiety. Man it sucks. I just want to go to bed. Of course, I can't. Today brings back some really bad memories for me.
Gotta go get Mom's supper. Talk to yall later. Thanks for listening and being here.
Okay, my mom is obscessed with hair spray, so I hid it from her. I was combing her hair later, and it was wet. I asked her what was on it, and she said "hair spray", but I knew it wasn't...I found her eye glass spray cleaner sitting in front of her, then another time it was perfume...then another time she was squirting a bottle of alcohol hand cleaner through out her hair. At least none of those things really hurt her hair or skin. I learned that anything is possible when I realized that she used some menthol arthritis cream in place of "Butt Cream" (That is a real cream). "Boy, that cream sure does burn!" she said... (Yea, I BET!! LOL) Learn the hard way- you just have to hide ANY potentially interesting items! AND when my husband who can't comprehend dementia...said "Just tell her not to do it!!" I realized how ignorant some people are about this problem! He had never been around her since she got dementia.
Pirate, I am so sorry that you had a rough childhood & that she's not making it better for you now! I wish that they'd have helped you get a house, too! Glad that you got to sleep in today & had some YOU time! That's important! Hope you'll enjoy your time tonight with b/f.
Diane, isn't it funny how one day you're fine & the next day the bottom drops out?!?! I don't understand it! It bites!!! Ya never know from day to day which way it's gonna be! Are you feeling better now? How have the hallucinations been this afternoon? Can the doctors give her someting to calm them down? I asked about the Pristiq, but for some reason my doctor won't prescribe it. I had been on the generic for Wellbutrin before the actual Wellbutrin came in & the first prescription that I had filled for the generic worked pretty good without side effects...It started with Bup...And then when I had to have it refilled the pharmacy that had filled the one starting with Bup had closed & I had to go to another pharmacy. The generic that they gave me started with Bud...I asked them about it & was told by the pharmcist that it was the same generic for Wellbutrin. That one gave me major side effects! VERY bitter taste & nauscia ALL of the time! I had done some research on the actual Wellbutrin & most everybody had good things to say about it, but bad about the generic. Gotta do something else...can't stand this UTI to go on indefinately!!! How did you do on Prozac??
I guess that must have been a subconscious slip when I wrote in my message I didn't want to be old. I meant to write that my dad wouldn't have wanted to be old.
I'm feeling pretty down too about this whole hallucination thing with mom. I'm not quite sure why all of a sudden today it has hit me so hard. I'm also a bit pissed off with my nephew. He never answers his phone when I call him. I know he has a demanding job, but I can never reach him when I need him. He makes a choice not to be available. Like you Miz, I'm feeling very lonely.
GP, try prozac. I was on it for years, but like you with the Effexor, it stopped working. Have you tried the new Pristiq, It didn't work for me.
Hi Sailors, I played hooky today from mom. I told her yesterday I had to work mandatory today. Her caregiver was coming today anyway as usual. She is a heathen though...she still called my house twice at 11:00 and 11:30...with her normal whining of a million hello's.......so iresome....she has the gift to grate on you so you will respond. That's always been one of her tactics. So today I finally got to sleep in. Told b/f last night I needed last night off so I could color, cut my hair and finally shave my legs. Geez they look like a cavewoman. Between work, mom and him I never have any time alone it seems. It felt good sleeping around till 1:00. Still have to do all those things today before b/f gets here at 6:00 - geez leaves me 4 hours to do what I want.
I know you guys are talking about missing your dads and the deal with me it became the opposite. As more time has passed from his passing almost 12 years ago I have grown to hate him more. See growing up he always seemed way nicer than my mom, especially when I was kid. She seemed the monster and he seemed a small bit of respite. But when I became a young woman things changed. My mom was a bit nicer and he was a lot more sterner. He never let me persue my dream of art work. Allways chanted to me Art is not a Job. I hate him for that. When you have overbearing parents you as a child do what you can to please them, Nothing ever seem to please them. In fact I remember his saying why don't you do this or that someone else does. I said I am not interested in that. They never seemed interested in anything I did. When I was in my early 30's I asked my dad to help me get a house. I kept getting thrown back at me...what do you want a house for you have a house....meaning I would inherit theirs. I hate him for that. I have been stuck in this rental house for 30 years still waiting for that house. Plus I have to clean all the crap out of it and then do some remodeling. I wish I would have just bought a house on my own....I wish I would have just done a lot of things besides what they said. They did not think of the best for me even that's what they always touted...they did the best for me what was best for them. So over time the hatred has grown. I did miss him in the beginning and then for a long time after. But it's only in the last several years as I reflect back upon a lot of things where it has sprung from. I remember on the day he died I was laying on a blanket on the floor in the den crying, my mother was sitting on the couch next to me. She said something cold about crying being a waste of time....she was a cold fish at times. Now she wimpers like a baby. Yesterday she was dialing her sisters phone all day long. I don't think her physco sister has an answer machine...or if it's turned off or not. She is another one that is 1/2 baked in a different way. Anyway my mom is calling and calling and I hear her saying hello, hello, hello like a million times and then ranting about why are you doing this to me and this is all not fair...rambling away. I kept popping in and out of her bedroomm and she would just keep doing it. Usually talking to her does no good. She does what she wants and has always been that way. Well around 8:00 she is still doing this. So she wants me to dial her sisters number so I dial it and she starts this rambling again....I said are you talking to someone ....and then I hit the speakerphone button and I hear her sister frustrated saying it's almost 8:00 and she's tired and will talk to her in the morning...and I guess she hangs up and then my mom sets out this NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and blah blah blah. I take the phone and hang it up...and I said look she's tired she will call you in the morning. My mom has always just done what she wanted with no regard for others feelings. That's the way of the Narcissist. She will grind you down and take no account of what it does to another person. That's trully a sick mind and my father was her enabler. I knew I came from a dysfunctinonal family. That's why I hid in my room away from them perhaps. I found solice in my friends back then and normal families on tv programs. I saw how normal folks should behave. So when she is gone I probably will not have so much grief either...in fact a relief that it will all be finally over.
Austin, I'm glad that you came on here & are feeling better! I can't imagine not having you guys in my life, now! Wish that it was cool enough to open the windows, here, but it's still so hot & humid! Yucky!
Diane, I'm sorry that you're having a tough time with your Mom! Wish I could be there to help!
miz, you don't worry about it! You can whine or vent all you want to & we're here for you, not that you're doing that now! I understand how you're feeling! This year was 5 years since my Dad passed! I really miss him, too! Please know that you're not alone! Thanks for the good thoughts on getting better!
Bobbie, I should have asked, is there anything that we can do for you or Nik? Please let us know if there is!
Linda, thinking about you today, too as you miss your Mom!
Diane, I will probably have to talk to the doctor & get the Wellbutrin changed if that's what has caused the UTI. I'm running out of anti-depressants to take as I've already taken pretty much everything except Prozac. I loved how I felt on Effexor, but all of a sudden it just stopped working after 4 years of being on it. Is it possible to start back at the beginning & go through all of them again? Some worked at least for a while & some I had a negative reaction to. Ya never know until ya try one if it's gonna work or not! Guess I'll find out tomorrow!
GP, I hope that takes care of your problem. Sounds like you're going to hit it head on. ;) I'm feeling better cold wise but really tired and lonely today. Sorry, I know I whine too much. Does whining count as venting?
Bobbie, I'm so sorry to hear about Nik's Dad! Wish there was something that we could do to help! I'm glad that tennessee was there with you when you found out & you weren't alone! I'm also glad that you're going to be with Nik! He needs you! Thanks for passing the message along to tennessee. Glad that you guys had a good visit! Funny about the kid!
Thanks miz! I just got back from Wal-Mart & got some cranberry tablets, some Azo Standard, some crangrape juice...the LARGE one...yogurt & will also drink plenty of water. I talked to the pharmacist & he said that was the best thing for me to do short of going to the doctor. I'm glad that you're feeling better today!
Rossella, not a problem! I know that you care & want the best for me! Thank you!
Diane, I enjoyed talking to you today! We sure have a lot in common! : )
Diane, I agree with you. I don't want to be old. My dad would have had a really hard time with the life of being old and not able to do things. You're right. It does seem like yesterday. Feeling down and tired. I guess that comes with the territory.
21 yrs ago today mom passed away , miz u said 5 yrs today since ur mom passed , im lost now , are u takin care of ur mom or dad now ?
bobbie i am so glad that tenn and tenny stayed with you this weekend . u sure did needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to . i wish u well on ur trip to LA . austin maxine ! im glad u found cc to talk to . u know u can email me at anytime . ill have to email u again and send u some funnies to lift ur spirit , ure not alone my friend . neighbors are good to visit .
my neighbor came and hung out here and it sure was a pleasure , my hubby and his bro went to town to get more beer and pizza for supper , my mil is watching i love lucy , shes a smilin and grinnin . pa s sleeping ., thought id grab a quicke on this , whoa over 150 emails from aging care , woo love it ! somebodys sick ? pa takes cranberries pills too . i just drink beer and go pee every half hr .
ok i best get of here and got more company comin here soon . man im worn out ! mom-inlaw- and bro in law will be spending another night . thought they would go home today but nope .
So sorry to hear about Nik's dad. I know you don't want to make waves, no pun intentded, but he needs you. Even if you stay away from the family, Nik will ned you. Men aren't as strong as they profess to be.
Miz, 5 years or 20 years, it always seems like yesterday. This year was 20 years since my dad passed. I do know one thing for sure, I would have hated to be old. The good Lord knew that I guess.
Mom is having so many hallucinations today. She is getting very beligerent when I don't see them. I had to follow her out to the yard where she was looking for the woman smoking the cigarette (not there).
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tonight was a bad night mom litteraly attacked me hitting an kicking me all because I fought with her to to put tiolet paper up her vagina. I had to take her by the arms and put her down on the bed so she could get control of herself I really hated her at the point and I had to take a step back because I could have hurt her because she is so fragile but she really is strong when she wants to be.
I gave her two zanax and I thought she was asleep but I went to the bedroom and found the sliding doors to the closet off the tracks and my full lenth mirrow on the other side of the bed she reaaranged some of my furniture> We will have to cal the dr. tom and see if we could put her on something stronger.
does anyone know of a good pill that can put them to sleep so that I dont have to go through this everynight when I get her for good in October?
It will take time for them to get the dosage right. be patient and keep records of how he feels and when the meds wear off. This will help the process of getting the dosage right. I will tell you that the drug will make him nauseous. I take Requip for restless leg syndrome for 4 years now and still get sick within the hour of taking it, almost every night. It is Dopamine, the same thing that is used for Parkinsons. I only have to take it before bedtime, but he will be on a schedule of it all day long.
Hopefully the meds will make a tremendous difference for him . It's not an easy disease to live with. I wish you both luck in getting things rolling for him.
WOW deef, I didn't know that Parkinson's meds cause hallucinations! Is it all or most of them that do? My husband isn't on any PD meds right now. He goes to Vanderbilt later this month & they'll probably put him on something then. He was on Sintament (sp?) a few years ago, but that didn't help him so he came off of it. It's such a weird thing with him in that he has just kinda fell through the cracks...Maybe self imposed! He was diagnosed at his regular doctor with PD & he sent him to Emory in Atlanta, who confirmed the diagnosis. The doctor there was such a jerk that my husband wouldn't go back & as a result he wouldn't give the med that he prescribed a chance. He hasn't seen anyone but his regular doctor in a few years, except for 2, now get this, chiropractic neurologist. They did help him to some degree, but as we all know men can be stubborn & he wouldn't even talk to you about seeing a regular neurologist or going to Vandy until about 5 months ago & he finally agreed to let me get him a referral to Vanderbilt. We've been waiting for his appt. for that long! He's now looking forward to going. I just hope that it's not too late & that they'll still be able to help him in some way. I could just strangle him, though! I told him that he was making decisions that were affecting both of us & I didn't have any control at all as to what was happening in my life, but I'm still expected to be there to take care of him! I know that he's gotta be scared & after reading some of the other posts, I'm now wondering if maybe he had early onset dementia back then?!?! I love him so much, & he really is a good guy, but this is just NOT how I envisioned my life being at 48! Yes, I'm depressed, but I'm also so angry! Sorry, I didn't mean to go that far! I gotta stop or I'll start crying to the point that I can't hide it &. that just makes the tremors worse when he gets upset or stressed. deef, I guess this kinda went along with your comments on men, huh??
You are not asking too much! We all wish we could have someone to support us and make our lives easier. That's definitely nothing to be ashamed of. Five years caring for Mom has taken it's toll and you are still going strong. You'll keep on doing what you have to, because you are stronger than you know!
B321, My condolences toward you & Nik. We know you will be there for him as he was there for you. GOD's comfort & peace to your family in this time of mourning.
Pirate, Our childhoods were very similar. I was discouraged from dreams also. My parents "planned" my eventual servitude to them. It didn't work out that way too well for them. Shortly after my dad told me a knight in shinning armor would have to come get me out of the house....3 wks after my 18th birthday I moved out & never looked back. I had been taught to be responsible for myself so I put it to work for me. I made a life for myself (with mistakes) and never asked them for anything. My parents are/were just as self absorbed as yours. The odd thing is that they can't/won't understand why we are angry/hurt. It doesn't even occur to them. The answer I got was "I fed you". OK, should I do no more than feed her? If it weren't for CHRIST living in me I would have abandoned her long ago. It is a quandry & I understand how you feel. Forgivness is so hard when your nose is rubbed in it all the time. Glad you were able to get some rest.
GP, Hope you are feeling better. Please watch your sodium levels. A combination of BP & thyroid meds can make you pee out all of your sodium & that is VERY dangerous. People are dropping from low sodium/electrolytes, so please be careful dear. GOD put salt on this earth for a reason & gatoraide helps too. Tomatoes also have an abundance of uric acid which can keep your urinary tract clean like cranberry juice.
Diane, Kathy, Rip, Austin, CC & all others....My best to you & yours for improvement in your lives. Prayers for a smoooooth & peaceful week.
I feel your pain about wanting to persue art. I wanted to take art in high school. Mom told me I was stupid to even think about it because I had no talent and SHE didn't think it was a good idea. I was crushed and to this day I've never forgotten the hurt and I still resent her. For many years, I tried to forget it. Then I decided I'd show her. I started drawing, I created my own embroidery patterns, and I learned to decorate cakes. My dad (who never knew what mom had done) beamed with pride at my projects and the wedding cakes I designed. Mom ignored my efforts and never gave any acknowledgement whatsoever. Typical of her.
Thanks for letting me share my story.
Mary
Miz and Sanna, Husbands can be an asset, but more often than not, only add to our stress because they can't or don't want to see how stressed we are. You have to look at it from their side too. They probably never imagined losing us and a good part of their lives to care giving responsibilities and all the added burdens, financial, etc., that go with it. As angry as I get with my husband for sometimes being a baby and adding to my stress, I can understand why he is so pissed off at the whole situation.
As for hallucinations, Parkinsons meds are a major cause of them as are many other drugs they are taking. Mom is getting worse in that area all the time, and we just go along with her. It's something you learn to do to help you both deal with it. Arguing or correcting them just agitates them and scares them.
Mom is now starting to tear and shred her diapers at night. I can no longer put disposable pads under her at night either, so more laundry!
Pirate, I'm so happy you were able to catch up on sleep and relax some. You deserve time to yourself. It must have been so hard for you all these years. I hope you will eventually find some peace. Keep up the "Chowder" for some much needed laughs!
Got to go check on Mom. Can see her picking at something on the camera.
I feel like the weight of the world is on me right now. I'm so very tired. I need some help here. My job is stressful. Home is stressful. I'm anxious and depressed much of the time. I think I'm always anxious and I'm on meds for both. Hubby says I grind me teeth at night and it drives him nuts. Sounds like many of us have depression and anxiety. Man it sucks. I just want to go to bed. Of course, I can't. Today brings back some really bad memories for me.
Gotta go get Mom's supper. Talk to yall later. Thanks for listening and being here.
love,
miz
I learned that anything is possible when I realized that she used some menthol arthritis cream in place of "Butt Cream" (That is a real cream).
"Boy, that cream sure does burn!" she said... (Yea, I BET!! LOL)
Learn the hard way- you just have to hide ANY potentially interesting items! AND when my husband who can't comprehend dementia...said "Just tell her not to do it!!" I realized how ignorant some people are about this problem! He had never been around her since she got dementia.
Diane, isn't it funny how one day you're fine & the next day the bottom drops out?!?! I don't understand it! It bites!!! Ya never know from day to day which way it's gonna be! Are you feeling better now? How have the hallucinations been this afternoon? Can the doctors give her someting to calm them down? I asked about the Pristiq, but for some reason my doctor won't prescribe it. I had been on the generic for Wellbutrin before the actual Wellbutrin came in & the first prescription that I had filled for the generic worked pretty good without side effects...It started with Bup...And then when I had to have it refilled the pharmacy that had filled the one starting with Bup had closed & I had to go to another pharmacy. The generic that they gave me started with Bud...I asked them about it & was told by the pharmcist that it was the same generic for Wellbutrin. That one gave me major side effects! VERY bitter taste & nauscia ALL of the time! I had done some research on the actual Wellbutrin & most everybody had good things to say about it, but bad about the generic. Gotta do something else...can't stand this UTI to go on indefinately!!! How did you do on Prozac??
I HATE feeling lonely!!!
I guess that must have been a subconscious slip when I wrote in my message I didn't want to be old. I meant to write that my dad wouldn't have wanted to be old.
I'm feeling pretty down too about this whole hallucination thing with mom. I'm not quite sure why all of a sudden today it has hit me so hard. I'm also a bit pissed off with my nephew. He never answers his phone when I call him. I know he has a demanding job, but I can never reach him when I need him. He makes a choice not to be available. Like you Miz, I'm feeling very lonely.
GP, try prozac. I was on it for years, but like you with the Effexor, it stopped working. Have you tried the new Pristiq, It didn't work for me.
I'll check in with yall later.
Diane
I played hooky today from mom. I told her yesterday I had to work mandatory today. Her caregiver was coming today anyway as usual. She is a heathen though...she still called my house twice at 11:00 and 11:30...with her normal whining of a million hello's.......so iresome....she has the gift to grate on you so you will respond. That's always been one of her tactics. So today I finally got to sleep in. Told b/f last night I needed last night off so I could color, cut my hair and finally shave my legs. Geez they look like a cavewoman. Between work, mom and him I never have any time alone it seems. It felt good sleeping around till 1:00. Still have to do all those things today before b/f gets here at 6:00 - geez leaves me 4 hours to do what I want.
I know you guys are talking about missing your dads and the deal with me it became the opposite. As more time has passed from his passing almost 12 years ago I have grown to hate him more. See growing up he always seemed way nicer than my mom, especially when I was kid. She seemed the monster and he seemed a small bit of respite. But when I became a young woman things changed. My mom was a bit nicer and he was a lot more sterner. He never let me persue my dream of art work. Allways chanted to me Art is not a Job. I hate him for that. When you have overbearing parents you as a child do what you can to please them, Nothing ever seem to please them. In fact I remember his saying why don't you do this or that someone else does. I said I am not interested in that. They never seemed interested in anything I did. When I was in my early 30's I asked my dad to help me get a house. I kept getting thrown back at me...what do you want a house for you have a house....meaning I would inherit theirs. I hate him for that. I have been stuck in this rental house for 30 years still waiting for that house. Plus I have to clean all the crap out of it and then do some remodeling. I wish I would have just bought a house on my own....I wish I would have just done a lot of things besides what they said. They did not think of the best for me even that's what they always touted...they did the best for me what was best for them. So over time the hatred has grown. I did miss him in the beginning and then for a long time after. But it's only in the last several years as I reflect back upon a lot of things where it has sprung from. I remember on the day he died I was laying on a blanket on the floor in the den crying, my mother was sitting on the couch next to me. She said something cold about crying being a waste of time....she was a cold fish at times. Now she wimpers like a baby. Yesterday she was dialing her sisters phone all day long. I don't think her physco sister has an answer machine...or if it's turned off or not. She is another one that is 1/2 baked in a different way. Anyway my mom is calling and calling and I hear her saying hello, hello, hello like a million times and then ranting about why are you doing this to me and this is all not fair...rambling away. I kept popping in and out of her bedroomm and she would just keep doing it. Usually talking to her does no good. She does what she wants and has always been that way. Well around 8:00 she is still doing this. So she wants me to dial her sisters number so I dial it and she starts this rambling again....I said are you talking to someone ....and then I hit the speakerphone button and I hear her sister frustrated saying it's almost 8:00 and she's tired and will talk to her in the morning...and I guess she hangs up and then my mom sets out this NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and blah blah blah. I take the phone and hang it up...and I said look she's tired she will call you in the morning. My mom has always just done what she wanted with no regard for others feelings. That's the way of the Narcissist. She will grind you down and take no account of what it does to another person. That's trully a sick mind and my father was her enabler. I knew I came from a dysfunctinonal family. That's why I hid in my room away from them perhaps. I found solice in my friends back then and normal families on tv programs. I saw how normal folks should behave. So when she is gone I probably will not have so much grief either...in fact a relief that it will all be finally over.
Diane, I'm sorry that you're having a tough time with your Mom! Wish I could be there to help!
Bobbie, I should have asked, is there anything that we can do for you or Nik? Please let us know if there is!
Linda, thinking about you today, too as you miss your Mom!
Diane, I will probably have to talk to the doctor & get the Wellbutrin changed if that's what has caused the UTI. I'm running out of anti-depressants to take as I've already taken pretty much everything except Prozac. I loved how I felt on Effexor, but all of a sudden it just stopped working after 4 years of being on it. Is it possible to start back at the beginning & go through all of them again? Some worked at least for a while & some I had a negative reaction to. Ya never know until ya try one if it's gonna work or not! Guess I'll find out tomorrow!
Thanks miz! I just got back from Wal-Mart & got some cranberry tablets, some Azo Standard, some crangrape juice...the LARGE one...yogurt & will also drink plenty of water. I talked to the pharmacist & he said that was the best thing for me to do short of going to the doctor. I'm glad that you're feeling better today!
Rossella, not a problem! I know that you care & want the best for me! Thank you!
Diane, I enjoyed talking to you today! We sure have a lot in common! : )
Hope everyone is having a great afternoon!
love,
miz
bobbie i am so glad that tenn and tenny stayed with you this weekend .
u sure did needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to . i wish u well on ur trip to LA
.
austin maxine ! im glad u found cc to talk to . u know u can email me at anytime . ill have to email u again and send u some funnies to lift ur spirit , ure not alone my friend . neighbors are good to visit .
my neighbor came and hung out here and it sure was a pleasure ,
my hubby and his bro went to town to get more beer and pizza for supper , my mil is watching i love lucy , shes a smilin and grinnin .
pa s sleeping .,
thought id grab a quicke on this , whoa over 150 emails from aging care , woo love it !
somebodys sick ? pa takes cranberries pills too . i just drink beer and go pee every half hr .
ok i best get of here and got more company comin here soon . man im worn out ! mom-inlaw- and bro in law will be spending another night . thought they would go home today but nope .
you all take care , love ya bunches xoxoxo
So sorry to hear about Nik's dad. I know you don't want to make waves, no pun intentded, but he needs you. Even if you stay away from the family, Nik will ned you. Men aren't as strong as they profess to be.
Miz, 5 years or 20 years, it always seems like yesterday. This year was 20 years since my dad passed. I do know one thing for sure, I would have hated to be old. The good Lord knew that I guess.
Mom is having so many hallucinations today. She is getting very beligerent when I don't see them. I had to follow her out to the yard where she was looking for the woman smoking the cigarette (not there).
Take care my shipmates and drive safe Tenn.
Hugs,
Diane