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rip, yes that was me. I have health insurance (not preventive) through the State for people that can not get insurance elsewhere. I pay over $500.00 per month and my deductible is $1,500.00. I have to have it due to the fact that I'm on quite a bit of medication (the reason I can't get any other insurance). It's really hard to make ends meet with that payment every month. I pray that you don't development problems that lead to high medical bills. I think insurance for us caregivers is a sensible and kind idea. We are keeping our loved ones out of nursing homes which could eventually cost the government lots of money. I noticed a bill that was passed recently that provides health insurance for, I believe, folks that have preexisting conditions and have not been on insurance for at least 6 months. That leaves me out in the cold but it very well might benefit you. That would be a very good thing.
Miz, you are doing a good work, caring for your mom, and working, and doing what's right. You aren't a slacker, feeling sorry for yourself, and God will bless that.
Austin, good to hear from you. I can not take up the "cause" for caregivers, as I don't think lack of respect for caregivers is the source of the problem. I think the problem is that the individual (me) lacks the personal integrity to be Godly. If this nation is to survive, we (I) need to put God first. Selfishness grieves him. It is our duty (Biblically mandated) to care for our elders, and for our families and loved ones. It is not the responsibility of the State or Nation to do it. That is pure Socialism. We would like to think someone else "owes" us help. God will help, but he's usually the last one we turn to. America is in trouble ("going down the tubes") because her people want to be babied and spoonfed and cradled. America's adults don't want the responsibility it takes to keep us free: thus we are losing our freedoms. We are in debt because we demand befefits, goodies, services, programs, etc. So, we have them. And we don't get involved in politics (blindness or laziness) and allow evil people to be elected or stay in office. We are reaping those consequences. Unless we see this, America, and our individual liberty, and freedoms are lost. Those fighting for our freedoms are the true heroes. But the battle is fierce, because dictators and tyrants know the tricks, and have their minions. To be shortsighted, and think it's all about a single issue, (a caregiver needing help for a family member) is missing the issue.
Now, I understand needing help. But families are in serious trouble. Aging, widowhood and divorce leaves people vulnerable. Many are dependents on a State or system that wants to rule and dominate. Where are the men, who God ordains to provide for us, our children and our elders? Missing in action! Out fishing or boating or playing sports. While women work, care for children and aging parents. It is NOT the government's job to fix America!!! It is our responsibility. Unless we go back to Godly personal values (that this country was founded upon); unless we get God back in America, all is lost... This country will NEVER be "saved" by caregivers, but by responsible adults who seek God first, the giver of all good gifts. He gave us America, and we spent ourselves in oblivion. We accrued debt, and a "poor me" welfare mentality that precludes God. He will not bless that, but let our enemies (and our lusts) consume us. It's called judgment. Our help is found only in God, for the battle is the Lord's. Nothing else will EVER satisfy. He made us, and every good and perfect gift came from him. Yet we look to our government for "goodies." How many of you have been blessed by the government? That yoke is bondage. The yoke of Christ is freedom, for he is The way, The truth and The life. Everything else is futile. I found my way to God through Christ, and it is in him that I live and have my being. (Sometimes I forget that.) Have you trusted Christ?
Many civilizations have been built, and failed, because they all rejected God's plan (his truth). Name me one perfect country, system or government... There are NONE. We must stop looking to the government to "save" us. They take your money (taxes) and use it for their purposes. No amount of lobbying will get it back to you, except perhaps a trickle. The middleman gets it, or a President's wife for vacations, or a speaker of the House for her jet excursions. Presidents give it away to other countries (the money your parents and you worked for; the money your children and grandchildren will work for). We are in bondage to the powers that be. Do you understand that?
God says, IF my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, THEN will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. II Chronicles 7:14.
There is no other way, friends. We have rejected God. And America is about to go down in the spiritual battle. It's not about our petty little problems. There is no other answer, no matter how far and wide you search. It's about turning back to God, PERIOD. I am. Will you?
Miz... wasn't it you who mentioned health care benefits for care givers? What a sensible idea! I have put my business on hold while I care for Dad. I used to scrap enough money for health insurance that I never used. I stayed healthy to avoid the deducbles.
Gave the insurance up 2 years ago. Eliminated $300 a month of "insurance" whatever that is. Couldn't justify the expense.
I don't dare become ill now, nor allow my back pain to become an issue. Thousands I paid for many years, in the event of an emergency, which never happened. My $500 deduciuble was a joke (sorry .. fighting with the fickle laptop keyboard)
I'd like to see health care benefits for those of us stuck at home. Unable to work. Unable to leave the house!
I am listening to Dad, upstairs, hobble down the hallway to the bathroom. Another crap episode. He feels so humiliated ...I do my best to be respectful
SS, Everyone, I am here. Getting ready for bed. I've been really busy with work and household stuff and groceries and Mom. I hate getting behind on here so much!! Welcome to you, Angie. Things are pretty good here right now. Wow, I'm almost afraid to say that!! Mom's new med seems to be keeping her more calm and relaxed and she's not getting up at night...knock on wood. She continues to be loving and grateful. I'm past my period this month and so that has helped. I sure would like to get away but I don't see that happening in the near future. Funds are so low and there's no one to watch her even if we could go. I've been going to bed early since I started this job and I feel so much better but I miss some quality time with hubby. I feel bad for him. We're so tied down. K, gonna get to bed. Love you all and even if I'm not here I think of yous. For you I am so grateful and thank God. :)
Thank you for all the comments and input, yeah I'd say I am in a nasty situation, but so many people are. I do have boundaries and when they come up that is it I am done!
J some ... I've drained urinals & catheter bags. I'd take the bags over the urinal any day! Dad would too. Much less invasive to their private parts. You drain from the ankle strapped to his leg!.
Wow, Good for you J............. It seems that your relationships are less than friendly if I must say............. Stick to your guns.... Stay strong. I cant say I am in the same predicament because it is my parents, and they have been and still are very good to me.......... You do need to draw the line.... What you are doing is commendable since it is your grandfather, but I sense a lot of underlying issues.......... So just remember to take of you through all of this. I am not sure what else to say. Just take care of you thought all of it........ Take care and god bless... Angie
OH no I told mom when it comes to intimate body care that is it he either goes to a nursing home, she quits her job and he considers paying HER or she gets him a day nurse or something to come to the house. I may empty urinals but I won't be draining catheters. Period!l
AC won't sign on to the PC so I am stuck with the silly laptop keyboard.
What happened with Dad, as I understand it, his prostate grew so large it cutoff the urnine flow. He was pissing or feeling the urge every few minutes. Lots of UTI's since he couldn't 'void'. Thus, the catheter & leg bag.
I hope your situation doesn't come to that. Dad can't drain his leg bag due to poor vision & cramped hands. I do it.
In your case I'm afraid the bag would fill up & you'd aim the contents at his face! Yes ... you can direct itl ike a large squirt gun.
Hey RIP, I have no idea, all I know is the puddle in his room is bigger every day and the PSA level was high, now we wait another what two weeks, what ever. nothing new, things the same drag as ever. Is your PC up to snuff?
sung by Donna Summer! I play that song in my head often!
Hey J ... might beanother ER trio if his pecker gets plugged. If they draw blood insist on a PSA test for prostatate cancer.
Dad was diagnosed with it yearsago. The uroligist sat us down with the test results & said at your age you'll die before this cancer kills you. (I like the doc! Straight forward)
SO he prescribes a female hormone shot when the levels get high. Wish I could remember the name. Common treatment. Gives him menopausal symptons, like hot flashes. Dad had a blast turning red at the fancy institution dining table .... Explaining the side effects of the injection. All the little old ladies understood.
Maybe your ol GFFPs might benefit from some female hormones!
OK OK I didn't get hit by the bus...I left the house too early and missed a bus...I mean you can't leave THAT early, you end up watching the one before your bus pull past...an ya feel stupid and ya stand there in the heat for half an hour...oh well, I was happy to be out of the house even if my mother really wished MY doctor had canceled so she could go back to work. See him needing her to take time off is important, my being the only reason she couldn't go back to work is me being selfish. Lovely, any wonder my psoriasis is so bad...well got a new prescription for that..and blood work so what ever happens happens... I guess you were right Pirate, the moon did screw things up. So now we wait till September for urologist app for grandpa...what ever.
We shall survive as long as we know how to love I know we shall stay alive! We've got all our life to live we've got all our love to give and we'll survive We shall survive!
Good for you SS if you get a chance to talk to anyone let them know us caregivers are suffering all over this nation and if it weren't for us this nation would go down the tubes just a thought.
Georgia, sweetie, hang in there! This too SHALL pass!
Pirate, sounds like it's time for the gang plank again. Try the gag and blindfold this time. JK
Miz?
Bobbie! bottom deep in aligators? LOL
Hope you have a great week ladies (all of you)! We super busy every night, with revival services at our church. We're going to State Convention Friday night and Saturday. Wow, a first for hubby and me. I'm a volunteer for a SOS Candidate, yippee! We got a personal invite for a tour of the State Capitol Building in Lansing, by State Senator Mike Bishop. Whoop! Whoop! Can't wait to attend a State Session, too. I'm going to take a whole group there. Life is so unboring for us right now.
Hy guys Maxine here Rossella it does not have to be water jello ice cream yogurt hot choc soup ensure what ever they will take will help with dehydration do not worry about nutrution at that time even juicy fruits will do the trick anything in better than IV's I do know what you are going through at least you have each other that made such a difference for me-the computer was for the husband so he would not be bored but he really only wanted to complain not help himself-I wonder how it is working out for him in heaven-has God lost his patience yet?
Laughter is truly the best remedy, and sometimes we have to look for it in our situations. One night as I was struggling to lift dad and place him into bed, my mom was doing what I call her circle dance, just going around, the phone was ringing, and the dog humping my leg as dad steps on my feet and then has some nasty gas...... When I tell this story to people , they just laugh and that is what I did, rather than getting upset I could not help but to find laughter lol lol..... This is now my life, and I have decided to give it my all and do the best that I can...... Take care and find the laughter that is there......... All of you have been a life saver for me...
It's good to see Angie and Jojo and Pirate and all.
Jsome, you have a great question and statement there. When does the narcissism stop and the dementia begin. It is an issue that I struggled with because for awhile I truly thought that mom was doing stuff to be a pain and when I realized that she was trying her best to NOT be a pain I got on her side and tried like all get out not to waver. As we all know, it's nearly impossible not to go crazy because our lives have been hijacked by a disease.
You all are beautiful caring women and Pirate and Jen we know that you guys are really hurting. please please try to find some humor in what's going on. Sounds stupid but it's not. got to be a joke in there somewhere. Watch stupid funny movies. Anything! It will save your lives!
There's an old engineering saying: when you're up to your ass in alligators it's hard to remember that the prime objective is to drain the swamp.
I know another engineering saying but it has to do with cold weather, a brass monkey, his balls and a welder of non-ferrous materials.
Looking for the laughs is a CHOICE that's hard to make when you're on the recieving end of full diapers, nasty stares and idiot siblings. Remember, I almost named the boat the USS Stink-Eye because I got a lot of that during my tenure as a caregiver and I loved and understood that my mom was suffering but it was still nearly impossible to deal with.
Please my boatmates, look for a laugh! Please because it will make YOU feel better.
After we haul the boat next week, she'll be ready for company again. Don't forget the boat! thinkoftheboatthinkoftheboat, because I want to meet all of you one day when your burden has been laid down or before if you can rook someone else to hold it up while you take off!!!
Hey Angie!!! I'm also in Mass. I'm right in the center next to Quabbin Reservoir. Where are you? Maybe if you are close enough, we could get together sometime. Everyone else is sooo far away. As for the covered in sh*t, been there , done that, almost every day. Mom has Parkinsons and dementia, both of which have progressed to the point that she has little control over her bladder and bowels. I order diapers by the case now. I too got a laptop last year when my sister bought cameras for me to keep an eye on Mom. Sister is in Virginia and teaches full time, so she only visits once a year and comes in the summer for 3 weeks. This time she bought an infrared camera for Mom's bedroom, so that I wouldn't have to go to her room to check on her at night. It is the greatest thing! Rossella, Jojo, Know about the hydration thing. Elderly do not remember to drink during the day, and dehydrate so easily. Mom would not drink if we didn't give it to her. She simply doesn't realize she is thirsty. Unfortunately, she drinks everything we give her. It wards off the UTIs, but she goes through diapers like 3 people! Better a wet bed than a UTI!!! She finally slept all night last night. Last night was full moon. Let's hope she is over the crazies! Mom is always on her best behavior when company comes. Especially the always absent siblings. They don't believe half the stories I tell them! But now Merry tells them too. Mom used to be nice to Merry all the time, but now that she is here more, she is mean to her too. Mom calls me Meme,( French for grandmother) who was her mother. She also thinks I am my older sister and tell Merry to get her sister, me, when she is angry with Merry. Most of the time now, she just sits in her wheelchair and mumbles nonsense to herself. And her eating manners and completely gone!! Tennessee, Know about sundowning first hand. It's a real b*tch! J, sorry your day was messed up. Seems like when things are coming together, something comes along to screw it up! Hope you can get Gramps into the day program. Mom is in for 6 hours, 3 days a week. It's so liberating. Georgia, I have been feeling the same way since this weekend. May be the rainy weather up here, but I'm really down and wishing it was over! We should be enjoying life at our age, and not have to be prisoners. Does your husband need to see his neurologist for a med change? I have to call Mom's today. She is not getting enough Sinamet in the afternoon, and is totally out of it by supper time. She does not have major tremors, but gets bad when tired or stressed. Maybe he is overly worried about your situation and it is causing him too much anxiety. That is also a huge part of Parkinsons. Is he on any meds for anxiety or depression? If not, maybe he should be to calm him down and help with the tremors. Just a thought. Guess we all need to keep moving forward, onward, upward, and whatever the "F" they say! Pirate, hang in there. You've been at this a long time, and don't have good memories to keep you going. It must be so hard for you! We're all thinking of you ontheboatontheboatontheboat! Think I'll go take a nap. Maybe I'll feel better when I get up. Take care all of you. Sorry if I missed anyone.
I rushed my dad to the ER so much that some of the people at the ICU were getting mad at me because they thought he should not be there,but it's like Rossella said its the only time I got any relief and knew all of his needs were met. I loved my dad and I didn't mind helping him when he most neeed it,because he would have done the same for me. He was completely bedridden the last year of his life,I often wished he could still walk and get in the tub or shower,but when the sundowners started up, I was glad he couldn't get up to do some of the things he was saying---that would have diffently been a hand full.,like controlling a wild bull.
Than k you and it is so great to meet all of you...... Now i have insomnia, i think secretly i think " wow they are sleeping, i am going to stay awake for the quiet" lol....... I have just accepted the er visits are now pretty regular , not much one can do..... I have actually been some projects outside, that i have put off, but of course, it has been raining for 3 days now in massachusetts, so tomorrow, i will go for coffee in the morning instead of making it, and start my as best I can with a smile........HUGS TO ALL AND THANK YOU ALL
HOW do you know when narcissism turns into genuine dementia and you can be a little less annoyed with the person> Man that is bad pirate. I guess making you nuts and enjoying it is narcissism and sitting in your own filth is dementia?
Thanks for everyone's concern over the b/f's broken ankle. We have to wait another week before surgery. When we went to the doctor yesterday he had three huge fracture blisters on his ankle, heel and foot. The doctor cut the tops off and re-wrapped with a splint. Hopefully next week they can do the surgery.
Having two people to care for is a bit overwhelming, but not as bad as I thought. I do find it quite ridiculous that the agency that provides a caregiver for my mom will not allow the caregiver to do anything for the b/f. They won't even give him a glass of water.
Mom has her good days and bad days both healthwise and mood. So far she hasn't complained too much about the b/f.
Hang in there everyone. I know the "imprisoned" feeling we all have. Like Rosella said, it will pass but sometimes the time seems to take forever.
Pirate, I am very sorry about what you say. I am in a different situation because my parents were not perfect, they neglected us children many times, but they were not that negative. So in general I have a better relation with my mother. It's not certainly your fault if you feel this way toward her. I feel I have to help her to feel well, at least the best she can. If she refuses to drink it is not because she wants to draw attention upon her; she simply does not feel like it, and she does not stand that I tell her what to do, and her mind is so gone that she does not understand that if she does not drink a lot of problems follow. I guess yours mother's mind works better than my mother's, so of course we make different decisions. When my mother was more independent, I let her do what she wanted. She had her strong nature, and we fought a lot. The situation is different now, she is completely helpless! Things change with time.
Georgia Peach...I feel exactly like that all the time. Now that my weekends are completely consumed by just sitting over there at my mom's house on the weekends. I have no time to ever catch up on sleep. I don't sleep well generally and when b/f is over sleep time is even worse, due to I can't stretch out or his snoring. I wish it was all over. I wish the old "b" would finally agree to going to a NH, she is still refusing, she is a stubborn mule...always was stubborn could never reason with her. She was never a reasonable person ever. She will have to go there one day when she can't walk anymore. She doesn't want to walk outside or go outside, but oh yes let's whine about going to the doctor that we already spent a year going to two years ago. Her eyesight will never get better, there is no point to going to the doctors to hear the same thing all over again. She can really try your nerves, and leave it to someone with a personality problem to enhance all the crap already spawn by aging. Gee I thought we were supposed to grow old gracefully not this "b".
Rosella your mom doesn't want to drink...just great she will get dehydrated and that will cause more health issues, more so you can deal with. It's like they set themselves up for failure on purpose so we can drive ourselves crazy even more. No this is not like taking care of a baby. At least when a baby cries it's hungry or thirsty or wants loving, or when it poops it's diapers it's cause it does not know better. But elderly adults I think they have it in their minds to hijack us for attention sometimes. OH geez I am sick of her so much. She is so depressing, she always was a depressing person to be around. Cringing that I have to go over there in a little bit after I leave work here in a few. She has strung these 12 years out so long for me....I can't wait for it to be over with her. To be finally released from the leash of her. My parents were more enemies than parents, I could never figure them out. It was always them against me. I never could figure out why they were always out to get me so. Funny thing I always thought that my dad was better than my mom, but now as I am older I can see he was more evil than she was down deep. He never wanted me to reach any of my goals, only what they wanted. How shallow and ignorant. Yes one day I will be done with all of it, all the baggage. I cannot wait!
My mother is very kind toward my brother, the relatives that once in a while come to visit... The worst side of her nature is just for me and the other women who take care of her. That's why nobody understands! Every time the guests leave us, they say "She is so well! She was so happy to see us! She is much better than we thought!" When I tell my brother everything she does, he thinks I am exaggerating! The reason is that everybody spoils her, with ice creams, chocolate, candies... I am the one that forces her to do the nasty things and to drink and to eat something different than candies. If I treated her like my brother does, she would be dead already! There is something I don't understand. My mother thinks I am her sister, but she calls me Rossella. Mystery! She knows my name but she does not know who I am!
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I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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love,
miz
Now, I understand needing help. But families are in serious trouble. Aging, widowhood and divorce leaves people vulnerable. Many are dependents on a State or system that wants to rule and dominate. Where are the men, who God ordains to provide for us, our children and our elders? Missing in action! Out fishing or boating or playing sports. While women work, care for children and aging parents. It is NOT the government's job to fix America!!! It is our responsibility. Unless we go back to Godly personal values (that this country was founded upon); unless we get God back in America, all is lost... This country will NEVER be "saved" by caregivers, but by responsible adults who seek God first, the giver of all good gifts. He gave us America, and we spent ourselves in oblivion. We accrued debt, and a "poor me" welfare mentality that precludes God. He will not bless that, but let our enemies (and our lusts) consume us. It's called judgment. Our help is found only in God, for the battle is the Lord's. Nothing else will EVER satisfy. He made us, and every good and perfect gift came from him. Yet we look to our government for "goodies." How many of you have been blessed by the government? That yoke is bondage. The yoke of Christ is freedom, for he is The way, The truth and The life. Everything else is futile. I found my way to God through Christ, and it is in him that I live and have my being. (Sometimes I forget that.) Have you trusted Christ?
Many civilizations have been built, and failed, because they all rejected God's plan (his truth). Name me one perfect country, system or government... There are NONE. We must stop looking to the government to "save" us. They take your money (taxes) and use it for their purposes. No amount of lobbying will get it back to you, except perhaps a trickle. The middleman gets it, or a President's wife for vacations, or a speaker of the House for her jet excursions. Presidents give it away to other countries (the money your parents and you worked for; the money your children and grandchildren will work for). We are in bondage to the powers that be. Do you understand that?
God says, IF my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, THEN will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. II Chronicles 7:14.
There is no other way, friends. We have rejected God. And America is about to go down in the spiritual battle. It's not about our petty little problems. There is no other answer, no matter how far and wide you search. It's about turning back to God, PERIOD. I am. Will you?
wasn't it you who mentioned health care benefits for care givers?
What a sensible idea!
I have put my business on hold while I care for Dad. I used to scrap enough money for health insurance that I never used. I stayed healthy to avoid the deducbles.
Gave the insurance up 2 years ago. Eliminated $300 a month of "insurance" whatever that is.
Couldn't justify the expense.
I don't dare become ill now, nor allow my back pain to become an issue. Thousands I paid for many years, in the event of an emergency, which never happened.
My $500 deduciuble was a joke
(sorry .. fighting with the fickle laptop keyboard)
I'd like to see health care benefits for those of us stuck at home. Unable to work. Unable to leave the house!
I am listening to Dad, upstairs, hobble down the hallway to the bathroom.
Another crap episode. He feels so humiliated ...I do my best to be respectful
Good night everyone .. thanks for listeing
love,
miz
I'd take the bags over the urinal any day! Dad would too.
Much less invasive to their private parts.
You drain from the ankle strapped to his leg!.
Has anyone seen Mike McGroaty's gardening website ? He is funny & smart in Ohio. Makes money with his gardens.
Shares his knowledge.
Great tips for growing. everything
What happened with Dad, as I understand it, his prostate grew so large it cutoff the urnine flow. He was pissing or feeling the urge every few minutes. Lots of UTI's since he couldn't 'void'.
Thus, the catheter & leg bag.
I hope your situation doesn't come to that. Dad can't drain his leg bag due to poor vision & cramped hands. I do it.
In your case I'm afraid the bag would fill up & you'd aim the contents at his face! Yes ... you can direct itl ike a large squirt gun.
Is your PC up to snuff?
Hey J ... might beanother ER trio if his pecker gets plugged. If they draw blood insist on a PSA test for prostatate cancer.
Dad was diagnosed with it yearsago. The uroligist sat us down with the test results & said at your age you'll die before this cancer kills you. (I like the doc! Straight forward)
SO he prescribes a female hormone shot when the levels get high. Wish I could remember the name. Common treatment.
Gives him menopausal symptons, like hot flashes.
Dad had a blast turning red at the fancy institution dining table .... Explaining the side effects of the injection. All the little old ladies understood.
Maybe your ol GFFPs might benefit from some female hormones!
I guess you were right Pirate, the moon did screw things up. So now we wait till September for urologist app for grandpa...what ever.
I hope everyone is doing ok and not too worn out.
as long as we know how to love
I know we shall stay alive!
We've got all our life to live
we've got all our love to give
and we'll survive
We shall survive!
Pirate, sounds like it's time for the gang plank again. Try the gag and blindfold this time. JK
Miz?
Bobbie! bottom deep in aligators? LOL
Hope you have a great week ladies (all of you)! We super busy every night, with revival services at our church. We're going to State Convention Friday night and Saturday. Wow, a first for hubby and me. I'm a volunteer for a SOS Candidate, yippee! We got a personal invite for a tour of the State Capitol Building in Lansing, by State Senator Mike Bishop. Whoop! Whoop! Can't wait to attend a State Session, too. I'm going to take a whole group there. Life is so unboring for us right now.
Laughter is truly the best remedy, and sometimes we have to look for it in our situations. One night as I was struggling to lift dad and place him into bed, my mom was doing what I call her circle dance, just going around, the phone was ringing, and the dog humping my leg as dad steps on my feet and then has some nasty gas...... When I tell this story to people , they just laugh and that is what I did, rather than getting upset I could not help but to find laughter lol lol..... This is now my life, and I have decided to give it my all and do the best that I can...... Take care and find the laughter that is there......... All of you have been a life saver for me...
It's good to see Angie and Jojo and Pirate and all.
Jsome, you have a great question and statement there. When does the narcissism stop and the dementia begin.
It is an issue that I struggled with because for awhile I truly thought that mom was doing stuff to be a pain and when I realized that she was trying her best to NOT be a pain I got on her side and tried like all get out not to waver.
As we all know, it's nearly impossible not to go crazy because our lives have been hijacked by a disease.
You all are beautiful caring women and Pirate and Jen we know that you guys are really hurting. please please try to find some humor in what's going on. Sounds stupid but it's not. got to be a joke in there somewhere. Watch stupid funny movies. Anything! It will save your lives!
There's an old engineering saying:
when you're up to your ass in alligators it's hard to remember that the prime objective is to drain the swamp.
I know another engineering saying but it has to do with cold weather, a brass monkey, his balls and a welder of non-ferrous materials.
Looking for the laughs is a CHOICE that's hard to make when you're on the recieving end of full diapers, nasty stares and idiot siblings.
Remember, I almost named the boat the USS Stink-Eye because I got a lot of that during my tenure as a caregiver and I loved and understood that my mom was suffering but it was still nearly impossible to deal with.
Please my boatmates, look for a laugh! Please because it will make YOU feel better.
After we haul the boat next week, she'll be ready for company again. Don't forget the boat! thinkoftheboatthinkoftheboat, because I want to meet all of you one day when your burden has been laid down or before if you can rook someone else to hold it up while you take off!!!
God keep you close and give you comfort.
lovbob
Rossella, Jojo, Know about the hydration thing. Elderly do not remember to drink during the day, and dehydrate so easily. Mom would not drink if we didn't give it to her. She simply doesn't realize she is thirsty. Unfortunately, she drinks everything we give her. It wards off the UTIs, but she goes through diapers like 3 people! Better a wet bed than a UTI!!!
She finally slept all night last night. Last night was full moon. Let's hope she is over the crazies! Mom is always on her best behavior when company comes. Especially the always absent siblings. They don't believe half the stories I tell them! But now Merry tells them too. Mom used to be nice to Merry all the time, but now that she is here more, she is mean to her too. Mom calls me Meme,( French for grandmother) who was her mother. She also thinks I am my older sister and tell Merry to get her sister, me, when she is angry with Merry. Most of the time now, she just sits in her wheelchair and mumbles nonsense to herself. And her eating manners and completely gone!!
Tennessee, Know about sundowning first hand. It's a real b*tch!
J, sorry your day was messed up. Seems like when things are coming together, something comes along to screw it up! Hope you can get Gramps into the day program. Mom is in for 6 hours, 3 days a week. It's so liberating.
Georgia, I have been feeling the same way since this weekend. May be the rainy weather up here, but I'm really down and wishing it was over! We should be enjoying life at our age, and not have to be prisoners. Does your husband need to see his neurologist for a med change? I have to call Mom's today. She is not getting enough Sinamet in the afternoon, and is totally out of it by supper time. She does not have major tremors, but gets bad when tired or stressed. Maybe he is overly worried about your situation and it is causing him too much anxiety. That is also a huge part of Parkinsons. Is he on any meds for anxiety or depression? If not, maybe he should be to calm him down and help with the tremors. Just a thought. Guess we all need to keep moving forward, onward, upward, and whatever the "F" they say!
Pirate, hang in there. You've been at this a long time, and don't have good memories to keep you going. It must be so hard for you! We're all thinking of you ontheboatontheboatontheboat!
Think I'll go take a nap. Maybe I'll feel better when I get up. Take care all of you. Sorry if I missed anyone.
Thanks for everyone's concern over the b/f's broken ankle. We have to wait another week before surgery. When we went to the doctor yesterday he had three huge fracture blisters on his ankle, heel and foot. The doctor cut the tops off and re-wrapped with a splint. Hopefully next week they can do the surgery.
Having two people to care for is a bit overwhelming, but not as bad as I thought. I do find it quite ridiculous that the agency that provides a caregiver for my mom will not allow the caregiver to do anything for the b/f. They won't even give him a glass of water.
Mom has her good days and bad days both healthwise and mood. So far she hasn't complained too much about the b/f.
Hang in there everyone. I know the "imprisoned" feeling we all have. Like Rosella said, it will pass but sometimes the time seems to take forever.
Love to you all,
Diane
Rosella your mom doesn't want to drink...just great she will get dehydrated and that will cause more health issues, more so you can deal with. It's like they set themselves up for failure on purpose so we can drive ourselves crazy even more. No this is not like taking care of a baby. At least when a baby cries it's hungry or thirsty or wants loving, or when it poops it's diapers it's cause it does not know better. But elderly adults I think they have it in their minds to hijack us for attention sometimes. OH geez I am sick of her so much. She is so depressing, she always was a depressing person to be around. Cringing that I have to go over there in a little bit after I leave work here in a few. She has strung these 12 years out so long for me....I can't wait for it to be over with her. To be finally released from the leash of her. My parents were more enemies than parents, I could never figure them out. It was always them against me. I never could figure out why they were always out to get me so. Funny thing I always thought that my dad was better than my mom, but now as I am older I can see he was more evil than she was down deep. He never wanted me to reach any of my goals, only what they wanted. How shallow and ignorant. Yes one day I will be done with all of it, all the baggage. I cannot wait!
There is something I don't understand. My mother thinks I am her sister, but she calls me Rossella. Mystery! She knows my name but she does not know who I am!