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OMG, tennessee. That is so horrible!! I don't mention my meds to the family. Don't know if they know about any of it or not. I do know that it does not impair my taking care of my mom. As it didn't impair your care for your dad. IMO the problem would be a caregiver that needs some meds to help and does not or will not take them. I am in the same situation with mostly absent siblings.
I use to shake and twitch while trying to get some sleep,I think it was a sign of being overly tired,talked to my female DOC. about it she prescribed me a anxiety pill and a sleeping pill.I just had them in my system good when the lawyers started using the medication against me-it was their opinion that anyone taking that sort of thing can't cope and is a danger to the patient.I told the doctor they were using those against me to take the farm and I quit taking them.I learned later I should have tapered down slowly. You would be surprised what can and will be held against you and the sibling who never called or helped coming out like they are the heros in the court of law. I was explained too,I was no different than the hired help to the legal system,none of my sacrifices was even acknowledge as far as the legal system goes.The lawyers asked me if I loved my dad,I responded[Of course I DO]THEY SMILED.....they smiled because by that statement I KNOCKED MYSELF OUT OF GETTING PAID BY THE ESTATE-otherwise I COULD HAVE COLLECTED.The legal sees one as a daughter or hired help but not both.Thats why absent children can march in and take over.The court of law has zero respect for the caregiver,it was mind boggleing to me then and still is.
I have Lorazapam but only 30 in a year...I am thinking more might help. Does anyone else shake and twitch as they lay in bed trying to sleep no matter how tired they are?
im one of em miz . count me in my dear . smoke smoke slurp and zannie if my nerves are shot which is very rare . im pretty laid back easy going and try not to let crap bother me much . when it does here comes zannie . and more smokes . xoxo
So happy for you Miz. Rip, We always refered to the toilet as the porcelain goddess, but I've heard the throne thing too.
Mom's golden throne arrived before she and I had a chance to snap at each other. Hub says we're like two cats in a box. LOL. She tried to delay the nice young delivery guy but I let him know he could resume his day & we would handle the operations together. Mom said "This is not the fabric I ordered!...The fabric I saw at the store was more golden."......Don't even start!!!! "This is the fabric you special ordered that took an extra $100 and a 7 week delay to deliver." The scratchy golden fabric was immediately covered with towels at her request! She could have purchased the soft micro-fabric in a nice sand color but no!!!!!! We HAVE to be difficult!!!!! In any case the queen was content when I left and ready for a nap in her new throne. Maybe she prepared to receive her royal court after I left!!!LOL All I know is crazy was smiling as I walked out the door and her feet were finally elevated.
Hub & I love animals too. We used to go to the Rockies & photo all the wildlife. Hope to move out that way someday & would like to start a wildlife sanctuary for GOD's furry creatures. We have had many pets over the years but now only one cat. He came with a "rap sheet" from the shelter (doesn't play well with others) but after 7 yrs. & hundreds of punctures/lacerations he's becoming a sweet boy. He has many names but I thinks his name is "Shut Up".LOL. He is "demando" cat & always has something to say. Has to be a part of every conversation & requires bonding at every turn. I never knew cats could be pack animals but our's certainly is. Rosella, You are an eloquent writer and should seriously consider sharing your talent with the world. You are a real blessing. GOD be with all.
Everyone, thanks so much for your congratulations. I'm pretty excited. I think it will be pretty stress-free which is what I need right now. Mom has been pretty sane recently so that helps. I'll finally be bringing in a pay check. It's been a long time. Thank you all for being here. Even when I'm not.
rossella, your post about alzheimer's is so true for me. If I wrote as well as you do I could have written it. Except for the flirt part. Hubby might object. :)
That's funny, Rip. I have been thinking...starting yesterday I think that I don't have fun anymore. Makes me sad and I'm sure many of you are in the same "boat".
O, jojo, the purse thing is funny. Well, kind of. My dad is a retired pharmacist, and lives in a NH. He steals the little cups off the nurse's med cart, and stuffs them into his pockets. He pours liquids from one cup to another in the dining room. I swear he's mixing meds, like back in the pharmacy. Sometimes he puts chunks of food into his coffee cup, and I'm watching in awe. I'ts amazing the strange things an Alzheimer's victim will do. Some days, I fight back tears. I used to laugh a bit, but it's no so funny any more.
Rosella, your words are poetic. You should write that book. The one about Mother Extreme. I have a chapter to add to it. But then, you should write a book about travel adventures. And I want to add a chapter to that, too. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all get together and meet one day?! O, the tales and laughs and tears we would all share. But for today, we are in survival mode. Some days my whole psyche feels put together with Scotch tape. I need the boat.
My mother has no selection, she steals everything. The worse thing is when I find in her bag pieces of croissant with marmalade which stick to everything. She is so quick that I never see her while she does it. Every day you have to search her bag and try to understand where she has taken things... I tried to change her bag and give her a smaller one, but she succeeds in filling it anyway...
Thanks for the advise but all the keys I have are locked away my mother is a clepto she steals everyones keys and puts them in her bag. Yesterday I had someone come to the house andto cut my hair and I was able to have my mons hair cut also and while I was getting my haircut she took everything out of my friends pocketbook and put it in her bag what an experience to get it back then after that my grandchildren were over and she took everything out of my daughter in laws baby bag and put it in her bag I dont know what she was going to do with baby bottles, diapers baby toys and baby clother lol the things they do my kids get a kick out of it cause I make lite of the situation when they are here and we laugh since the things she does are so funny. I feel sometimes I have five grandchildren instead of 4 since I have to treat heer like a child
Jojo, always keep the keys in a very well hidden place. My mother always shuts me out when I am in the garden, and I have to enter through the window. Our lives seem a movie of the Marx Brothers...
Had a terrible day today mom didnt want to go home she thought my bedroom was her home had to call the womenan tht care for her when she is in brooklyn looks like she will be coming to stay here sooner then September I am trying to stretch it out ass long as possible. Breaks my heart she went to my bedroom to lock the door since she thought it was her room my husband told her there is no lock she came downstairs and told me to tell the man upstairs to go to the store and get a lock for her room, Told her yes tom mom. Then she proceeding in asking me where her baby was (my youngest sister who is 45) tried to tell her she is all grown up would not have it so i played along and told her my other sister took her for a walk.
Mother took a fit on Sunday when I took her to church didnt want to get out of the car because it was raining saw the raindrops and wouldnt walk through them anyone have this experience she proceeding to tell the preist off after mass that it was raining out and her feet were going to get all wet I was laughing hysterically at that apoligized to him told him she has alz. then we went to the cemetary to see my dad and she told me that want the cemetary that he is in she said he is burried with her mother and father (who are burried in italy) I showed her the name on the tombstone she said it wasnt him only good thing coming out of this is that At least now I dont have to take her to the cemetary anymore I just tell her we already went she wont remeber five minutes later. I need a vacation so bad hopefully she will wake up in a better mood tom and want to go home until Thursday when the fun starts all over again
That Ass loved my mother & would follow her everywhere! Everyone one of the troops were amazed & laughed that "simple animal" could be devoted to her. She had compassion, They were working animals ... lacking compassion ... Yet, where ever my Mom would go, the Mule was sure to follow.
She had a way with animals .... Like us.
I love this site knowing I have friends here ... where ever you are. Dad is needing me. Time to drain his dragon & hope the urinary collection bag hasn't split. Again ~ The lovely aroma of piss ... Hope I don't have Poop Soup tonight!
Now I found the photo with the donkey and the zebra. I have to reorganize them a little... they were among the dogs bathing in the river! Lovely! I must have a photo of myself with a mule whith is very funny, I have to find it.
The things that you wrote, "got" straight to the point. The saddest thing of AH people is that with one part of their head (at least, in my mother's stage) they realize that their mind does not work and they suffer, are very humiliated for that. I remember my aunt, several years ago, crying because she did not succeed in playing a boardgame with her friends. Seeing her like this, was a punch in the stomach. My mother is prouder, she does not cry, she pretends that everything is under control, but whe knows that it is not so. My mother feels alone because she would like to see her father and mother and she feels a resentment toward me, because I do not take her to her home village and to the house of her childhood. She does not remember almost anything, she looks at the photos of her relatives and she knows they are family but she makes a confusion about who they are, how old they are now, whether they are alive or dead. Her life is made of moments, and after five minutes everything is gone, so if I take her to eat an icecream she enjoys it, and after 2 seconds she asks me "why do not we buy an icecream?" It is terrible, not to keep a memory of the good things! I understand why people do not want to have anything to do with it, including the closest relatives. It is different for us, we live it day by day, we are kind of used to it. I have become strong, but the day my mother will be gone, i do not think I shall keep this strength. It's there, attached with a scotch tape and it's there only because I have to survive somehow and I feel the responsibility to make her survive, too. Anyhow, when in the night I close my room's door, I am myself again and I relax, so I think I can work in the long run. Oh, I flirt with one of the supermarket employees. To see him 5 minutes every day, it saves my day! I flirt in the worst moments, I remember 15 years ago when I had a car accident and I did not die for a miracle. WHen they took me to the hospital I had a broken nose and the face full of bruises and I flirted with another patient who had a broken arm! I swear I did it.
DId you see the photo of me with the Mammoth Donkey & Zena the Zebra at the Funny Farm
I was a happy sandwhich!
Donkeys are wonderful .... especially with a snuggly Zebra leaning close, I love the aroma of farm animals. Earthy & real. When you come here you'll find many miniture donkeys living across the road from our river. Kangaroo, Wallabies, Camels & a huge herd of sweet Llamas Plus Giggles the Goat!
SO we give him a Badger. Think he could tame one? They are nasty!
Why can't he spend time with his mother?
oh ... right ... Rossella is there always doing dirty work, always trying to understand her mind change, always there for his mother's needs during her confusion & dillusions... her need to find control of something ... anything in her life, which is long gone ... & we know she misses it. Does she recall many moment of her life of her life? That must be painful!
Yet Rossella is there. Every day, every night. Caring for everyone, the beloved pets, property & mother. Cooking until midnight, repairing televisions, making life right for her.
While you set aside your passions - or visit them from time to time. Moleskin ... but we need to visit our rivers together & laugh!
Does she grasp what reality & events she knew? I can not imagine (get) your situation! I have so much compassion for what we all deal with. She must feel alone tho you are there every day, caring for her. Your Mother who has become a stranger.
+while his famly is off on vacation.
The "Mother Extreme" is a good title for a book. Dad is hollering for me now. I've set the water on the garden. It sure isn't easy! I'll be up for hours trying to save the flowers.
Yet his doctor has not returned my phone calls to have his catheter changed. Way overdue. I hope he doesn't start pissing blood tonight .....
My brother has many faults, but at least he LOVES animals and when he comes here he is like Saint Francis, with all cats and dogs that go around him and he talks to them as if they were his kids, with that sugary kind of voice. So, I think the best punishment for his misconduct would be to "pass" him my mother in one of her worst days, for examples when she says 24/7 "I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home" which sometimes changes in "Take me home, take me home, take me home". Or, when she makes the most incredible things and you have to save her life every 3 seconds (I call them the days of "Mother extreme". One day or another she will climb the roof because she thinks she has lost something there) (I think the relatives of an Alzheimer know what I am talking about) I love goats, but the animals I love more in the world are the donkeys with their sweet and liquid eyes. I cannot take one (or two), because my dogs would bark from morning to evening... And they bark enough already, believe me...
We need a nasty, yet beautiful, SWAN for your brother. They snap at people! I've had (*not gotten) bruises! Maybe we should let loose a badger in his house? Or your mother when she needs a change? When will that boy stepup??
I love a sweet goose! They can be so affectionate! Glad he/she is personable. I know you are taking good care of him/her! Now I want one!
I need a goat to munch my weeds on the property. There are several Rent-A-Goat services nearby.
Check out the Seattel Times where a herd of goats are eating the weeds near the famous Pike Place Market.
The goose is the sweetest goose I have ever seen. You can hug her as if she were a dog. So I'm not going to give it to my brother. Keep Rexy away from the twigs? It is like keeping me away from coffee! A horse in the kitchen is an experience that I have never had. He could help wash the dishes with his tongue, though!
Growing up a friend had her horse, Morgan, in the kitchen all the time. Robin James ended up illustrating a series of childrens books. Wheedle on the Needle, etc.
I'm sure those visiting pet will be under your wing soon. Scritch Rexy's head for me! Ask him to ease up on the twigs for his teeth's sake. I miss Hawkeye so much ..........
Dtflex said a word I miss. Routine. I've discovered with eldercare that I have no routine! After my morning coffee & newspaper, I roust the father & it's Dad all day long! If I do go about my day he will interrupt at the most inappropriate moments. "Can I take a leak please, Sir???".
Don't get me wrong ... it's just funny that he decides to need something when I am doing something important .... like responding to a post here with my friends! We laugh lots ... I know this is a "til death do we part" situation. As stifled as I feel ~ I wouldn't want his life to be different right now. Too bad the ex didn't realize that ...
I am glad to say that some pages of the Moleskin are already filled with ideas... I'll tell you more about the plot, I'd like to know what you think about it!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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love,
miz
im pretty laid back easy going and try not to let crap bother me much . when it does here comes zannie . and more smokes .
xoxo
Rip, We always refered to the toilet as the porcelain goddess, but I've heard the throne thing too.
Mom's golden throne arrived before she and I had a chance to snap at each other. Hub says we're like two cats in a box. LOL. She tried to delay the nice young delivery guy but I let him know he could resume his day & we would handle the operations together.
Mom said "This is not the fabric I ordered!...The fabric I saw at the store was more golden."......Don't even start!!!! "This is the fabric you special ordered that took an extra $100 and a 7 week delay to deliver." The scratchy golden fabric was immediately covered with towels at her request! She could have purchased the soft micro-fabric in a nice sand color but no!!!!!! We HAVE to be difficult!!!!!
In any case the queen was content when I left and ready for a nap in her new throne. Maybe she prepared to receive her royal court after I left!!!LOL
All I know is crazy was smiling as I walked out the door and her feet were finally elevated.
Hub & I love animals too. We used to go to the Rockies & photo all the wildlife. Hope to move out that way someday & would like to start a wildlife sanctuary for GOD's furry creatures. We have had many pets over the years but now only one cat. He came with a "rap sheet" from the shelter (doesn't play well with others) but after 7 yrs. & hundreds of punctures/lacerations he's becoming a sweet boy. He has many names but I thinks his name is "Shut Up".LOL. He is "demando" cat & always has something to say. Has to be a part of every conversation & requires bonding at every turn. I never knew cats could be pack animals but our's certainly is.
Rosella, You are an eloquent writer and should seriously consider sharing your talent with the world. You are a real blessing.
GOD be with all.
love,
miz
Our lives seem a movie of the Marx Brothers...
Mother took a fit on Sunday when I took her to church didnt want to get out of the car because it was raining saw the raindrops and wouldnt walk through them anyone have this experience she proceeding to tell the preist off after mass that it was raining out and her feet were going to get all wet I was laughing hysterically at that apoligized to him told him she has alz. then we went to the cemetary to see my dad and she told me that want the cemetary that he is in she said he is burried with her mother and father (who are burried in italy) I showed her the name on the tombstone she said it wasnt him only good thing coming out of this is that At least now I dont have to take her to the cemetary anymore I just tell her we already went she wont remeber five minutes later. I need a vacation so bad hopefully she will wake up in a better mood tom and want to go home until Thursday when the fun starts all over again
That Ass loved my mother & would follow her everywhere!
Everyone one of the troops were amazed & laughed that "simple animal" could be devoted to her.
She had compassion,
They were working animals ... lacking compassion ...
Yet, where ever my Mom would go, the Mule was sure to follow.
She had a way with animals ....
Like us.
I love this site knowing I have friends here ... where ever you are.
Dad is needing me.
Time to drain his dragon & hope the urinary collection bag hasn't split.
Again ~
The lovely aroma of piss ...
Hope I don't have Poop Soup tonight!
Lovely!
I must have a photo of myself with a mule whith is very funny, I have to find it.
My mother feels alone because she would like to see her father and mother and she feels a resentment toward me, because I do not take her to her home village and to the house of her childhood.
She does not remember almost anything, she looks at the photos of her relatives and she knows they are family but she makes a confusion about who they are, how old they are now, whether they are alive or dead. Her life is made of moments, and after five minutes everything is gone, so if I take her to eat an icecream she enjoys it, and after 2 seconds she asks me "why do not we buy an icecream?" It is terrible, not to keep a memory of the good things!
I understand why people do not want to have anything to do with it, including the closest relatives. It is different for us, we live it day by day, we are kind of used to it. I have become strong, but the day my mother will be gone, i do not think I shall keep this strength. It's there, attached with a scotch tape and it's there only because I have to survive somehow and I feel the responsibility to make her survive, too. Anyhow, when in the night I close my room's door, I am myself again and I relax, so I think I can work in the long run.
Oh, I flirt with one of the supermarket employees. To see him 5 minutes every day, it saves my day!
I flirt in the worst moments, I remember 15 years ago when I had a car accident and I did not die for a miracle. WHen they took me to the hospital I had a broken nose and the face full of bruises and I flirted with another patient who had a broken arm! I swear I did it.
I was a happy sandwhich!
Donkeys are wonderful .... especially with a snuggly Zebra leaning close,
I love the aroma of farm animals.
Earthy & real.
When you come here you'll find many miniture donkeys living across the road from our river. Kangaroo, Wallabies, Camels & a huge herd of sweet Llamas
Plus Giggles the Goat!
Update your passport!
Think he could tame one? They are nasty!
Why can't he spend time with his mother?
oh ... right ... Rossella is there always doing dirty work, always trying to understand her mind change, always there for his mother's needs during her confusion & dillusions... her need to find control of something ... anything in her life, which is long gone ... & we know she misses it. Does she recall many moment of her life of her life?
That must be painful!
Yet Rossella is there.
Every day, every night. Caring for everyone, the beloved pets, property & mother.
Cooking until midnight, repairing televisions, making life right for her.
While you set aside your passions - or visit them from time to time.
Moleskin ... but we need to visit our rivers together & laugh!
Does she grasp what reality & events she knew?
I can not imagine (get) your situation! I have so much compassion for what we all deal with.
She must feel alone tho you are there every day, caring for her.
Your Mother who has become a stranger.
+while his famly is off on vacation.
The "Mother Extreme" is a good title for a book.
Dad is hollering for me now. I've set the water on the garden.
It sure isn't easy!
I'll be up for hours trying to save the flowers.
Yet his doctor has not returned my phone calls to have his catheter changed. Way overdue.
I hope he doesn't start pissing blood tonight .....
I love goats, but the animals I love more in the world are the donkeys with their sweet and liquid eyes. I cannot take one (or two), because my dogs would bark from morning to evening... And they bark enough already, believe me...
Maybe we should let loose a badger in his house?
Or your mother when she needs a change?
When will that boy stepup??
I love a sweet goose! They can be so affectionate! Glad he/she is personable. I know you are taking good care of him/her!
Now I want one!
I need a goat to munch my weeds on the property. There are several Rent-A-Goat services nearby.
Check out the Seattel Times where a herd of goats are eating the weeds near the famous Pike Place Market.
Keep Rexy away from the twigs? It is like keeping me away from coffee!
A horse in the kitchen is an experience that I have never had. He could help wash the dishes with his tongue, though!
Hope he's a fiesty goose!
Growing up a friend had her horse, Morgan, in the kitchen all the time. Robin James ended up illustrating a series of childrens books. Wheedle on the Needle, etc.
I'm sure those visiting pet will be under your wing soon.
Scritch Rexy's head for me! Ask him to ease up on the twigs for his teeth's sake.
I miss Hawkeye so much ..........
They are in the kitchen in the living room upstairs on the stairs in my room in my garden everybody needs attention
Hugs to the pets!
Routine.
I've discovered with eldercare that I have no routine! After my morning coffee & newspaper, I roust the father & it's Dad all day long! If I do go about my day he will interrupt at the most inappropriate moments.
"Can I take a leak please, Sir???".
Don't get me wrong ... it's just funny that he decides to need something when I am doing something important ....
like responding to a post here with my friends!
We laugh lots ...
I know this is a "til death do we part" situation. As stifled as I feel ~ I wouldn't want his life to be different right now.
Too bad the ex didn't realize that ...