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Congratulations for the job, Miz!
I have new guests at home: one cat one dog one goose two chickens (their owners went to vacation and left them to me). All the animals are quite depressed, because they have been temporarily abandoned. i really needed more depressed beings in this house! Hope yr days are happier. I snort from morning to evening. Next week I'll go to the beach at least twice, because, as "someone" said, I want to return to the womb. Anybody's. And the sea is a big womb.
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Congrats on the new job Miz. It may take awhile to get in a new routine, but it will help save your sanity!
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Rip,

Thats a riot, cruise & crap!
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Ha -
I thought the Golden Throne was a toilet!
(Theres an idea. A motorized toilet. A Cruise & Crap)

Good luck with the Golden Throne! Sounds like fun ....
Ah, fun ... remember when?

Cheers all!

Rip
Love those acronyms!
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Crazy Responsibilities And Parents?

Love it! The motorized Golden Throne!

Take care, all. Hugs!
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Hello all,
Hope you are all well & in some semblance of control.
Congrats Miz.
B321, Iye matey, sailing into the sunrise? You are an inspiration to us all.
SS, Still love the lamb. Makes my day whenever I see it & know you are there.
Rip, Like your sense of humor. CRAP: Caregivers Respite and Panacea, Pandemonium, Panorama, Perception, Podium, Precedent, Prescription, Preservation, Principle, Progress, Proponent, Propitation......I cheated & looked through the dictionary for all that fit this forum. Sure we can find more for "R".
Linda, Glad you're better today.
Long story but the Queen is getting her new three way motorized Golden Throne today, so I must run to make sure she doesn't harm the delivery guys.
Love & Best to all.
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RIP-I am sure we all feel the way you do at on time or another. I know that I feel that no one takes care of Mother the way I do. Would that come under the heading of "Pride"?

When your dream senior wash comes true, I want one. Wouldn't that be wonderful? I would even be tempted to use it myself, there are times when I am just too tired to shower. Where would we be without our dreams?!

Had a family reunion over the week-end, Mother's grandchildren that hasn't seen her in at least three years were so attentive to her-waited on her hand & foot, fed her, led her to bathroom, etc. thought that she was just doing wonderful-they don't have a clue what I go through on a daily basis. I suggested they let her come visit, WOW, here come the excuses. They think I am doing such a wonderful job! Bull! They are glad they live over 8 hours away so they don't have to help care for her. I am very greatful to my other family that does live close enough that are willing to help me.

Gotta run, time to hang another load of laundry on the line. Keep the faith!
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Great Job Miz hope all goes well!
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Congratulations, Miz! :)
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I got the job!! Just have to pass the drug test and background check. :)
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miz ,, wish u the very best on gettin the job !! bless ur heart ,
am doing ok here . pa still sleeping so is my sister and my daughter , uh i woke up 8 am and started doing dishes and laundry , wow , feeling burst of enegery ! after begin sick all weekend ,
glad im all better .
hang in there ! before u know it we be riding on barbara b ...
have a safe sailing bobbie !! xoox
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Do well, Miz! Praying for you. We'll meet on the boat later :)
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I'll catch up with you guys hopefully tomorrow. Going to my second interview this morning. Yikes!! Wish I was going on the boat instead. :) Have a wonderful day!!

love,
miz
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Had a nasty like that this week, when my grandfather was having diarrhea it was literally poop soup and he'd leave his open diaper in the trash and I'd have to wash off the walls and toilet and take that out side as well, and my mom wonders why I spray Oust in every room he has been in more than three minutes!
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Happy "sailing" Bobbie!
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You guys hang in there.

Swallowing Dramamine, coffee, bagel and cream cheese. Headed to the fuel dock and offshore.

More in a couple days when we get to St. Augustine. Wish us fair winds.

Deef! got the info and Rip thanks and love you all and I think I'm excited.

Thanks again Rip the Stitch!!

lovbob
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Saying "NO"!!!
What a lovely concept! How many times do we ever say NO to a parent.
I believe Jsomebody started a thread about that, but her NO was dealing with her wacko grandfather & maybe her mother.
(it he desreves the title of Grand Pa. He seems to be a Grand Prick)

I said NO today, & still feel guilty about it. Cigarette. Light me a cigarette ...

I have my heavy work & his highness wanted a channel change & a smoke. I was up to my elbows potting plants, watering them & soakeing the garden when he demanded his fix.
I stopped rushing to cater to him.
I said the "N" word.

He patiently waited, but stilll .... My damn NO word pissed him off.
Enough of that. He will have pot roast tonight when I feel like cooking it & he will enjoy enjoy it.

I tried to design a dog door, similar to a car wash, when the wet pet entered. Tried those fantastic "soak it up" towels *as seen on TV, the ones that wick moisture from anything nearby,..
Crap for the purpose
I tried them.
Kind of like a car wash.
Flunked dog door. They still came inside very wet.

However ...
Thinking forward to a spray wash for our seniors!
A conveyor belt that sends them into a wash & rinse cycle. No hands involved. Just a spray that hits them everywhere, soaps them, rinses them & They come out clean & refreshed.
Into a luxurious hotel robe so they won't whine at us.
What a dream!

Reminds me of my dream to be wealthy for a week.
Not concerned with elder care, mortages, utility bills & those daily needs like food,bathing & everything else associated with elder care. Yes ... you know ... the disrespect.ful comments & crap of our parents.

I've always claimed that poverty builds character. I'm proof!

Would I risk being rich for a week ... willing to try ~ not worrying about my father if someone else could take charge.
HA!
Having the wealth to have a vacation.
To purchase stylish clothing & a nice car.
Buy food which is of my choosing,
Living my life as I'd like it to be .... simply a safe day off?

I wonder if my heart would change?

If that dream were dumped in my lap today, I don't think I could let go & enjoy. I am so entwined with Dad's needs it has become my life.

Nobody can care for him like I do syndrome. He is totally dependent on me & refuses to think anyone else could care for him.
I feel stuck & obligated.
If I should take a couple of days off ... I think he would give up b.c I am not there for his every need.
Anyone else feel this way?

Hey Rossella ... I believe you were the 2,300 poster on this thread!
I wonder if there is a prize?

Cheers all ~
Need to zap his pot roast dinner & try to sneak peas into the mashd potoatos for those damn vitamins.
I wish he were happy .....
Yippeeeeeeeeeeee I now will cook via the microwave!

Vent on .......

Rip
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They ask for more, and we give more and more... The more they are complaining and demanding, the more we squeeze our brain to make them happy. This is why we are so tired. From time to time we should stop, we should say to ourselves that we are doing enough, more than enough, and we should be (healthily) selfish... We should learn how to say "Wait!" and, occasionally, even "No!" And stop feeling guilty because we don't reach perfection.
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QUICK ~ Hurry Bobbie, before the precious info is deleted!
I'll be sending similar stuff when the ship hits port.

Freinds, do you realize we are almost at the 2,300th post on this thread?
All because of Bobbie's familiar tag line?

Big applause to our seafaring friend!!!!
YAY!!! Bobbie of lovbob! Barabara B hits the Pacific Coast.
Sail ON!!!

I have enjoyed every single moment of this new online experience. This thread is like a good book I can't put down.
Having new friends stay in contact is an absolute thrill! You know who you are! I love having a wall where you send sweet messages! My first wall ... ever!
I'm internet stupid.

I frequently hide from Dad & work just to read of all your fabulous' adventures! which I consider my sanity break.

I am hoping that no one has been offended by my rather 'delicate' excretment posts. We all know it.

There are historic elder care events that have occurred in my lifetime -
my Grammy pulling a gun on the substitute Meals on Wheels driver ...
I posted the story somewhere ...
She also grew pot among her tomato plants, had all kind of home improvements in trade.

She was the widow of the sheriff so it was pretty funny.

My educated brothers with their heads HUA (elsewhere, so to say) who mean well but haven't a clue to eldler care compassion ...
They follow Mary's lead & don't do Sh*t!

Love the tricks & tips we have all shared ...

Yet the deep down panic I feel ~ we all share ~ to have every one here relate to that, & ... OK, the Crap ... I was looking for a deeper word involing the unsettling elements of elder care, & what do I come up with?

CRAP! Frank Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond" got away with it on the TV hit series, so I shall use it here since it is good enough for the censors.
The filthy, smelly, unforgiven CRAP that we deal with.

I read recently a post that mentioned the people here tend to complain alot.
No Crap!
I thought of an acronym. Caregivers Responding and Providing ... lame. Help me do better. Doesn't have the bite I want -
What can we do with the S word? Stretch your creative minds & we'll find one for PISS .... oops, just did.
People in Serious Situations.

I love that we laugh & tease here, but the brutal reality is that WE ALL are responsible for the life of a loved one.

It dibilitates us, causes anger, fear ... do I dare say ... agitation. I have never felt such dispair & irratibility until trying to cope with my father, frustrated while losing the aging battle.

Everyone on this site is compassionate!
I realize I'm drifting but my cell phone keeps ringing for father's needs ... I continue to scamper upstairs to light a smoke, pour coffeee, change the TV channel .... anything he desires.
How about this or that?
He is so bored!

I must cook his dinner. I am not a chef. Been there, done lots for guests. my ex & steps. All it means to me is cleaning pots, pans & dishes, wrapping leftovers for the fridge which will likey rot .
Give me take out! Send a pizza! Mom spoiled him rotton with her low cholsteral cooking, fish, fresh organic veggies - she got the Ovarian Cancer & we lost her.
He is still here & thriving on my lousy cooking! So much for that theory of avoiding cancer by eating well.

Avoidance over now ... I shall trudge up the stairs & provide a passable Sunday meal which he will enjoy b.c it is a Costco pot roast with mashed potatos, sans vegetables.


I wish you all well & look forward to the 2,300th post on this thread.
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We are getting very creative on the poo-poo subject.
I think we have to imagine that it is nice and pleasant, as though we were picking flowers. When I put my mother under the shower I start to sing "We have to wash the car!" and she is always angry at me. Maybe we could invent and patent a cleaning machine, a fully automated one, (let's think of it - we would become millionaires)
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Bobbie,

Check out the Cooper River Marina in Charleston. Here is the contact info:

1010 Juneau Avenue

Charleston, South Carolina 29405

843-554-0790 or 843-554-9008
LAT 32° - 49.928’ N - 079° - 56.053’W
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Yes, if we could only compost the stuff we'd be rich!!!
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Hugs to all my fellow caregivers. We have a new understanding to the phrase "S**t Happens"
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Glory will come from the sh*t...
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Yes, are we a delightful group of people! Where else can you talk of such wonderous things like p*ss, sh*t & tears?

I know my brothers haven't a clue, yet they say the "understand"!!!
HaHaHaHahHa ...

When was the last time they cleaned their father at 3 AM, or made a rush to the emergency room, fixed him a meal, poured him coffee 8 times a day, or ... beware ... this is really horrible ... lit a cigarette for him???

They are much too sensible to smoke, yet when Dad joined the army at age 20 they gave the troups packs of cigarettes! Bad - Nasty ... but I've been known to enjoy them too.

Especially to cover the stench of elder diarhea ... did I spell that right? I should since it is an frequent "event".

oh ... & the awesome arorma of piss as I drain his urinary collection bag. Lofting thru the house, impregnating every porous surface & scrap of fabric!

How often have they gagged & puked in the middle of cleaning up?
Oh ... let me think .... once? But I led the clean up team since they had no idea what to do. Couldn't even figure out how to put medical gloves on.
"This one didn't fit my right hand so I must try another".
HOnest! He has a master's degree but could flip a simple latex glove over.
Maybe he was smart enough to stall while I did the yucky work.
I must have a PHd in caregiving by now.

Yes, friends, we do have our 'pleasures' in life, don't we?

Lord knows the constant demands of what we deal with daily. They sure don't & care not to hear about it!

Dad just phoned feeling sorry for himself b.c he can't light a cigarette.
Its the last one which means a trip to the store.
Will I ever finish the laundry & dishes & cleaning the bathroom???

The saga will continue .....
I have my "Grossed out" friends who have their own problems to deal with ... together!

Carry on comrades! They say we will be rewarded ...
Sh****T!!! I want an award right now!

Cheers ~
Over & out for now ~

Thanks for listening ....

Rip, the flabergasted Stitch
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We are all in the same crappy boat...
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I think that, ummm, how to talk about this without seeming crude. I think perhaps the reason she goes 4 times in a hour is that she needs a bit of "help". Besides she doesn't want to sit down for that long so she goes, we clean up, she goes, we clean up, etc. etc. I am afraid to give her anything to quicken the process because I may cause a larger problem.

I do feel better knowing it is a part of the disease not just our particular situation.
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Tonight, my mother (whom I had left alone for 5 minutes because I was cooking) went to the bathroom, took away her diaper and left it on the chair, and then she carefully shut the window and the door. When I went to the bathroom after half an hour it seemed a gas chamber! I see that all of us have to stand the same pleasant things!!!!
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Hi Bobbie. If you plan to cross the ocean and arrive to Civitavecchia which is the biggest port in Center Italy, I shall be there with my bottle of champagne!
Until that moment, we follow you with our imagination and lots of smiles
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aint that wonderful ! a nice mess for us caregivers to clean up . lol . havent catch my dad doing that , cuzi stand right there in bathroom .
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