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Dear Miz, I give tablets to my mother to make her sleep during the night. Of course it's the right drug, prescribed by the neurologist. The right dosage. She sleeps well for 7-8 hours and the following day she is normal and lucid (as normal and lucid as an Alz can be). If I did not do so, I would get crazy and she would feel worse. She is well, during the day, she does not feel like sleeping in the afternoon. If she is more agitated, I increase by half a pill, if she is calm, I decrease the dosage. I mean, she is such a handful during the day, that I don't want to worry during the night, too!!!!!
Hi Pirate. Do you know what is wrong with Italian men? They are spoiled by their mothers who treat them as if they were kings. I belong to a generation which fought this kind of things. We wanted to be equal to men and we did not want to be their servants any longer. Do you know what happened? My friends, who belonged to the same generation as me, when they had children they did the same! They treated their sons as kings and their daughters as servants! There is no end to this shit! (forgive me the word) I have to say that I have always been coherent with myself because even if I never got married, my boyfriends were always men who helped: they cooked (better than me) and they did not think to be superior to me just because they were "males".... The only advice I can give you, being Italian and knowing Italian men better than you do (because I know many more of them): DO NOT SURRENDER! I mean, you do not have to fight all the time, but make him understand that he must not behave as a mucho macho. I use the weapon of irony which works and it is not too violent... Hope I have been useful...
I HATE LAWYERS! If there is a honest one in this world,I DON'T KNOW WHERE to find one.Even my own lawyer changes what he tells me from minute to minute.I am trying to get a childs toys out of her granddaddys house and everyone is making it as complicated as possible. The sob brother just got a amillion and half estate,but he can't put them in storage,have to have hired lawyers to get toys from where we were living . Another thing MY LAWYER has a bedridden mom,his sister takes care of her 24/7 in her home,but He has power of attorney-the moms home is in his name and He has ISSUES he says with his sister and of course he is to busy to help his sister-yet he has issues with her==SOUND FAMILIAR-THERE SHOULD BE A LAW AGAINST SOMEONE NOT HELPING HAVING ANY CONTROL. I have met one decent lawyer in my whole life and he's 80 now.Cuss,cuss,cuss,cuss, cuss, vent vent-thanks guys-I bet there is not one caregiver on here who is a lawyer-I've only known one who loved someone enough to put there life on hold for someone elese. The selfish, lying .................His sister needs to be on here.
oh my , all that is makin me wanna curl up in a ball and sleep . i too forget alot but again then menopauses has alot to do with it too . heard menopause never ends . guess its all mens fault !!! lol .
ah i never take my rings off , always leave em on . my sis in law takes hers off when she wash her hands . i told her that her rings is dirty too ! when she left to go home 1 and half hr drive , she called said i gotta turn around and come back . i said why ?? she said i left my ring !! . i told her i found it and its mine now so go on home !! lol nana she came back for it and said its a lesson to learn she will from now on leave her rings on ! my daughter would take off her necklist when she showers i told her its a good way to lose it . guess what she did lose it at the swimming pool park . laid her necklist on her towel and forgot all about it and flip her towel to dry herself and went home . waaaaaaaaa my necklist ! i paid good money for it for her xmas gift . might just swell flush my money in the toilet . pa s lookin good this morning i didnt give him his antidepression meds lastnight , am thinkin about weaning him off of it . just give him xannax when he needs it . as for repeating myself . i often ask uhh did i tell u this ? then they say yes or no . sometimes they say yes u told me ! i say well wasnt sure cuz i talk to someone about it while back . sometimes somebody tells me same shit over and over i just let em repeat it . but when i do it they stop me and say u already told me !! what the heck ! ok for them but not ok for me , whyyyy?? so i start askin did i tell you ?? lalala ok gotta get off here , find something to do . maybe i shall go ck my toilet to see if i did flush . lol xoxoox
My husband and friends swear that I keep forgetting stuff due to the stress of what is going on. I do hope they are right because I am horrified to think that this could be me one day.
I have enjoyed reading about others hygiene issues, glad to know it isn't just my Mom. Now if only I could get my Dad to read this and understand that this is the disease and his beloved wife hasn't been replaced with some disgusting alien replacement wife.
Hello Everyone. I've got a busy day today. Gonna try and take Mom to see her friend in the nursing home. Hubby mows and trims for her and he needs me to pick up a check. It's hot out but I plan on starting the car and getting it cool in there before I take Mom out. Then...I have a check up with the doc. Then after that I take the cats for their shots. Then Mom and I will watch this afternoon's ball game that I will record. I have my interview in the morning. I have such mixed feelings about it. Everyone, try and have a good day. Love yas!!
SS, I do stuff like that all the time. Forgetting my rings. Forgetting to turn off my flat iron. Telling the same story over and over. I wonder about early onset also. My sis says my mom's been crazy since she turned 50. Well, I'm 51. I sure do feel crazy sometimes. I'm sure not myself.
Rosella, yes I feel that way too. Sometimes I feel like a robot I think. I got up several times last night because Mom got up and I didn't want her roaming the house in the dark. It seems like when I hear any little noise from her monitor, I am startled awake and then can't really relax until I check on her. Then it takes time for me to relax well enough to sleep. When hubby asks me for help I usually jump right up and do it. I'm not sure if everyone is that way now or if it's the caregiver in me.
Pirate, bless your heart. hang in. All of the crap you are describing is part of the disease.
Big surprise in bowl. Big surprise hidden under pillow. Pee Pee tissues hidden in shoe. Gray hairs pokin out your toothbrush. Table manners that would gag a maggot. Wiping nose on back of your shirt. While you're wearing it.
SS you are right: this too will pass and it will hurt. but it will happen.
Gone From My Sight and the Eleventh Hour. Please read them.
Hang in there, Pirate. You sure are working yourself tired. Relief will come, in a matter of time. "This too, shall pass."
Rip and RosellaItaly, you two are welcome additions.
LOL at forgetting the dog food, lhardebeck.
I got to a distant location yesterday, without my wedding rings, because I forgot to put them on. I sometimes repeat myself to friends, and they remind me of already hearing my story. I forget names. Early onset? ~Sigh. Guess things could be worse. Heaven forbid! Well, sleep sounds good to me, too. Night!
....yep my mom does not flush the toliet anymore...and sometimes I find a huge pile up going on. GROSS! I can't wait for this nightmare to end. Work has turned into total SHIT due to the new systems they brought over from the momma company...and it is all so horrible...so I have a horrible day at work every day and then have to deal with mom issues. My b/f doesn't get how stressed out I am...and I am relating that to his Italian butt being catered to just like Rosella's brother. What is it with Italian men...I think they think they are king!
And NO I am STILL A REBEL...you should of heard me loud at work bringing concerns up that they glossed over so cleverly...the cretins.
Well gotta go get out of work now and go home really quick and then go to my mom's.
At least the Indians had the right idea where the old people wander off into the wilderness to die when it's time. I think that is a FANTASTIC idea! At this point I don't care how cold that sounds...I am just so done....yeah when will it end....it will end someday cause no one is imortal!
Rip: yeah I agree. It is a pity we can just post a little photo on the profile. Otherwise we could change it every now and then, so we would always be up to date with our lives. What I like about this forum that you say every kind of things, you grieve, you laugh, you vent....
Well, lharde, when my mother calls I have to jump! It is dangerous not to do so! She puts herself in danger every 5 minutes. Two years ago when she lived alone she climbed a ladder (the stairs that you use to change bulbs? Is that their name?) It was 2 in the night and she could not get to the phone to call someone. When my brother called her the morning after and she did not answer, he went to her house and had to call someone to crash the door lock. (those were the first signals that her head was starting to work quite badly) I could give many more examples of the dangerous things she does. I agree with you that dogs and cats could wait. I feel that if I could rest, i would sleep for one whole week, too! This is my idea of vacation, now: SLEEEEEP!
I did the same thing yesterday! Quick trip to the store for Geraniums to offend the flies ............& forgot the pet store! In a rush to return to Dad!
Buy extra lhard! My friend just arrived with his dog & stock for mine since my trips are limited.
Pets make our lives pleasurable & deserve the best!
rosella , u re killin me ! i used to be the same way . tell em to get it yourself ! now i go and get em etc and it becomes a habit , you know it needs to be done and zoom go do it . sometimes i just wish i could just lay there and lay lay all day , while pa s hollarin im layin thinking oh give me 5 more mins plzz . nope i jump up and zoom . ah supper s all done made and my men are stuff , now i gotta go take pa to his recliner and zoom to the store myself andget dog food and cat food , grrr i was at the store yesterday shoppin for grocries and didnt even pick up no dog food or cat food , what the hell ! wheres my mind at ! ok gotta go zoom zoom , :-)
Poor Rexy! I'd love to see the photos! Hawk used to drag rocks from the riverbed! Dip Stick! Died with all his teeth.
I wish we could post photos & videos on this site. Simply for the entertainment of our housebound caregivers. This site has made me feel like a part of an extended family like I have never known.
*Except for my dear Father, the source of my posts. Thank you Sir, for being enough of a pest to make me search online for relief.
I have to take a picture of Rexy while he tries to carry 6 sticks in his mouth, and in the same time take the 7th I threw into the river! He is a stick-retrieving addict. he belongs to the newest breed of "Shepherd retriever". He lives for that! When I stop throwing sticks for 2 seconds, he cries as though I was torturing him!
I used to cater to my brothers & Dad, just like Mom did. Now I jump for the animals & Dad, who loves to tease me about it. Were you able to get the TV connectioin fixed? I am gald the flatscreen doesn't overheat now. Technology.
Thanks, Rip! Relief? Yes. Life goes on. And I have a nine year old to keep me quite distracted, as well as a very active political life. We still spend time visiting the dads, but watching them decline is so painful. I did a lot of traveling back and forth over the past few years, caring for my folks, then caring for their home. I should probably go check on it, but too busy right now. Lots can happen to an abandoned house 200 miles away, though a trustworthy neighbor is there mowing every week.
The other relief for grieving is knowing that dad is saved, and has a home waiting for him in heaven. Just wish I could share meaningful conversation with him while still on earth. Some days, I just "miss" my dad, even though he's still alive. I miss the potential, too. Some days while visiting, I just fight back tears. Sometimes when alone, sobs. I hate Alzheimer's!
My FIL is also saved (I think), though was quite the stinker, and sometimes still is. He has Vascular Dementia, but is actually doing better than my dad, in some respects, though he's much older. His decline is expected, and not so grievous. He can still walk and talk with us, and even play a gentle game of tossing a softball or shoot pool. We watch Tiger baseball together, and he invites us to join him for meals. He's combative toward other residents some times, but is pretty decent around us, so it's a big difference. Though he's declining, it's not so emotionally disturbing. At 90, he's enjoyed his life as much as possible, and still is to some extent.
Grief, who knows? Wish we could change things, but have to deal with reality. Everyone dies. Some sooner, some later. Grief is something we all must face. Dementia support groups and this thread helps a lot.
Hi my new and very nice and very dear friends. (I am starting to know you all!) (hlardebeck: I agree, my friend's brother is one on a million. By the way my friend told me he kept her mother happy, he was very kind, he made her laugh... with a lot of patience and warmth) A funny thing happened to me last Sunday. My brother came for his monthly visit to my mother and he was in a good mood and he wanted to joke. As the TV did not work I had installed a DVD player, so my mother could watch some movies. My brother had to stay home with her, while I took the dogs for a walk, so he asked me to turn on the DVD player and put on a movie. I did so. Then he said "I do not like this movie" and I, like a soldier, went to look for another movie. He said "I do not like this one, either" and I continued to obey and looked for another one. He was enjoying himself a lot, as I was obeying to everything I said and he could not believe it. (meanwhile, he was comfortably sat on the couch). The film was in Spanish so he said: "I want to hear it in Italian!" And I looked in the menu for the choice of languages. When the film started to play, in Italian, there were French subtitles. And my brother, always laid on the couch, said: "I do not want subtitles" And I looked in the menu and took the subtitles away. And then he said: "I want subtitles in croatian!" He was enjoying himself a lot as I was obeying to everything. Until some months ago I would have laughed and sent him to hell. When he asked me to put the subtitles in croatian I finally understood that he was pulling my leg. I have realized how changed I am with this Alz mother situation. I am always jumping here and there like a spring, when my mother asks me something, when the cats ask me something, when the dogs ask me something, when the telephone rings, I always jump up and I obey to everyone. I was a very rebel girl. Have you changed this way, too? Have you became sort of a machine, a very productive and organized one?????
My heart aches for you. I'm glad the clinic is a good one. You are lucky for that. Is there any relief from grieving? I wondered that so often during my mother's cancer & Dad was in a 2 month coma. I understand when you say "I just walk away grieving".
When I'd drivek Mom to chemo in the city, I'd often return 30 miles home with her solem saddness, sick in the passenger seat. I felt I shouldn't be driving in rush hour traffic b.c of the grief. We were so exhausted...
I often recall those dsays when I see a frail passenger in a slow moving vehicle. Frantic drivers tailgating, anxious to pass while on their stupid cell phones.
Saw dad today. Actually both of them. It is depressing. He doesn't seem happy to see us, or even smile. He did attempt to say a couple words, but that was it. He just stares. At least I got to watch him pick up his fork and shovel a couple of bites in. Other than that, I usually just watch him sleep. I just walk away grieving. There's so much I want to say, but he doesn't seem to understand any of it. I did talk to his Nurse about scheduling a second opinion to see where they rate his disease, and even what they diagnose him as. I love the clinic and staff. Don't know what use it would be, though. And I'd probably have to take a CNA along with me, because he's totally incontinent, and we may need some help with him. He's only been out of the facility once in the past year (when I took him to the Dentist). That went OK, but this would be long distance. Still debating...
Miz, good luck on your interview, but I understand what you're saying. Though the income is necessary, it's hard to juggle Caregiving. Hubby having any luck with his job hunt?
Hey Miz ~ Cisco Morris, the garden Wizart of Seattle, says Geraniums repel flies. I just planted a couple hanging baskeys for my deck where they stupid flies seem to always spin.
Ciscoe has a web site full of interesting garden adive. He's a bit of a prankster & fun to watch. KING5 news website too.
I'm going to make your concoction for the kitchen! Thanks!
AOL popped up with a featue about a $40 million house on Mercer Island, near Seattle. The owners started a senior & assisted living company which is now national. Guess thats where our rent money went. Must be quite a profit in the elder care industry!
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Hope I have been useful...
I've put my business on hold except for very understanding clients. Trying to keep any type of schedule is impossible.
ah i never take my rings off , always leave em on . my sis in law takes hers off when she wash her hands . i told her that her rings is dirty too ! when she left to go home 1 and half hr drive , she called said i gotta turn around and come back . i said why ?? she said i left my ring !! . i told her i found it and its mine now so go on home !! lol nana she came back for it and said its a lesson to learn she will from now on leave her rings on !
my daughter would take off her necklist when she showers i told her its a good way to lose it . guess what she did lose it at the swimming pool park . laid her necklist on her towel and forgot all about it and flip her towel to dry herself and went home . waaaaaaaaa my necklist ! i paid good money for it for her xmas gift . might just swell flush my money in the toilet .
pa s lookin good this morning i didnt give him his antidepression meds lastnight , am thinkin about weaning him off of it . just give him xannax when he needs it .
as for repeating myself . i often ask uhh did i tell u this ? then they say yes or no . sometimes they say yes u told me ! i say well wasnt sure cuz i talk to someone about it while back . sometimes somebody tells me same shit over and over i just let em repeat it . but when i do it they stop me and say u already told me !! what the heck ! ok for them but not ok for me , whyyyy?? so i start askin did i tell you ?? lalala
ok gotta get off here , find something to do . maybe i shall go ck my toilet to see if i did flush . lol xoxoox
I have enjoyed reading about others hygiene issues, glad to know it isn't just my Mom. Now if only I could get my Dad to read this and understand that this is the disease and his beloved wife hasn't been replaced with some disgusting alien replacement wife.
miz
Pirate, bless your heart. hang in. All of the crap you are describing is part of the disease.
Big surprise in bowl.
Big surprise hidden under pillow.
Pee Pee tissues hidden in shoe.
Gray hairs pokin out your toothbrush.
Table manners that would gag a maggot.
Wiping nose on back of your shirt. While you're wearing it.
SS you are right: this too will pass and it will hurt. but it will happen.
Gone From My Sight and the Eleventh Hour. Please read them.
I love you guys and will write tonight.
lovbob
Rip and RosellaItaly, you two are welcome additions.
LOL at forgetting the dog food, lhardebeck.
I got to a distant location yesterday, without my wedding rings, because I forgot to put them on. I sometimes repeat myself to friends, and they remind me of already hearing my story. I forget names. Early onset? ~Sigh. Guess things could be worse. Heaven forbid! Well, sleep sounds good to me, too. Night!
And NO I am STILL A REBEL...you should of heard me loud at work bringing concerns up that they glossed over so cleverly...the cretins.
Well gotta go get out of work now and go home really quick and then go to my mom's.
At least the Indians had the right idea where the old people wander off into the wilderness to die when it's time. I think that is a FANTASTIC idea! At this point I don't care how cold that sounds...I am just so done....yeah when will it end....it will end someday cause no one is imortal!
Shallow dreams are nice ....
Bobbie's boat, a vacation???
Are you all on alert during the night, listening for your parent? Like having babies. Never ending ...
What I like about this forum that you say every kind of things, you grieve, you laugh, you vent....
I could give many more examples of the dangerous things she does.
I agree with you that dogs and cats could wait. I feel that if I could rest, i would sleep for one whole week, too! This is my idea of vacation, now: SLEEEEEP!
In a rush to return to Dad!
Buy extra lhard!
My friend just arrived with his dog & stock for mine since my trips are limited.
Pets make our lives pleasurable & deserve the best!
sometimes i just wish i could just lay there and lay lay all day , while pa s hollarin im layin thinking oh give me 5 more mins plzz . nope i jump up and zoom .
ah supper s all done made and my men are stuff , now i gotta go take pa to his recliner and zoom to the store myself andget dog food and cat food , grrr i was at the store yesterday shoppin for grocries and didnt even pick up no dog food or cat food , what the hell ! wheres my mind at !
ok gotta go zoom zoom , :-)
I'd love to see the photos!
Hawk used to drag rocks from the riverbed! Dip Stick!
Died with all his teeth.
I wish we could post photos & videos on this site. Simply for the entertainment of our housebound caregivers. This site has made me feel like a part of an extended family like I have never known.
*Except for my dear Father, the source of my posts. Thank you Sir, for being enough of a pest to make me search online for relief.
Cheers for EVERYONE here!
So you are a Puppet too!
How many of us are?
I used to cater to my brothers & Dad, just like Mom did.
Now I jump for the animals & Dad, who loves to tease me about it.
Were you able to get the TV connectioin fixed? I am gald the flatscreen doesn't overheat now. Technology.
Cheers!
Hugs to Rexy from all of us
The other relief for grieving is knowing that dad is saved, and has a home waiting for him in heaven. Just wish I could share meaningful conversation with him while still on earth. Some days, I just "miss" my dad, even though he's still alive. I miss the potential, too. Some days while visiting, I just fight back tears. Sometimes when alone, sobs. I hate Alzheimer's!
My FIL is also saved (I think), though was quite the stinker, and sometimes still is. He has Vascular Dementia, but is actually doing better than my dad, in some respects, though he's much older. His decline is expected, and not so grievous. He can still walk and talk with us, and even play a gentle game of tossing a softball or shoot pool. We watch Tiger baseball together, and he invites us to join him for meals. He's combative toward other residents some times, but is pretty decent around us, so it's a big difference. Though he's declining, it's not so emotionally disturbing. At 90, he's enjoyed his life as much as possible, and still is to some extent.
Grief, who knows? Wish we could change things, but have to deal with reality. Everyone dies. Some sooner, some later. Grief is something we all must face. Dementia support groups and this thread helps a lot.
(hlardebeck: I agree, my friend's brother is one on a million. By the way my friend told me he kept her mother happy, he was very kind, he made her laugh... with a lot of patience and warmth)
A funny thing happened to me last Sunday. My brother came for his monthly visit to my mother and he was in a good mood and he wanted to joke. As the TV did not work I had installed a DVD player, so my mother could watch some movies. My brother had to stay home with her, while I took the dogs for a walk, so he asked me to turn on the DVD player and put on a movie. I did so. Then he said "I do not like this movie" and I, like a soldier, went to look for another movie. He said "I do not like this one, either" and I continued to obey and looked for another one. He was enjoying himself a lot, as I was obeying to everything I said and he could not believe it. (meanwhile, he was comfortably sat on the couch). The film was in Spanish so he said: "I want to hear it in Italian!" And I looked in the menu for the choice of languages. When the film started to play, in Italian, there were French subtitles. And my brother, always laid on the couch, said: "I do not want subtitles" And I looked in the menu and took the subtitles away. And then he said: "I want subtitles in croatian!" He was enjoying himself a lot as I was obeying to everything. Until some months ago I would have laughed and sent him to hell. When he asked me to put the subtitles in croatian I finally understood that he was pulling my leg.
I have realized how changed I am with this Alz mother situation. I am always jumping here and there like a spring, when my mother asks me something, when the cats ask me something, when the dogs ask me something, when the telephone rings, I always jump up and I obey to everyone. I was a very rebel girl. Have you changed this way, too? Have you became sort of a machine, a very productive and organized one?????
My heart aches for you. I'm glad the clinic is a good one. You are lucky for that.
Is there any relief from grieving? I wondered that so often during my mother's cancer & Dad was in a 2 month coma. I understand when you say "I just walk away grieving".
When I'd drivek Mom to chemo in the city, I'd often return 30 miles home with her solem saddness, sick in the passenger seat.
I felt I shouldn't be driving in rush hour traffic b.c of the grief. We were so exhausted...
I often recall those dsays when I see a frail passenger in a slow moving vehicle. Frantic drivers tailgating, anxious to pass while on their stupid cell phones.
thinking of you ....
Rip
Miz, good luck on your interview, but I understand what you're saying. Though the income is necessary, it's hard to juggle Caregiving. Hubby having any luck with his job hunt?
Cisco Morris, the garden Wizart of Seattle, says Geraniums repel flies. I just planted a couple hanging baskeys for my deck where they stupid flies seem to always spin.
Ciscoe has a web site full of interesting garden adive. He's a bit of a prankster & fun to watch. KING5 news website too.
I'm going to make your concoction for the kitchen! Thanks!
AOL popped up with a featue about a $40 million house on Mercer Island, near Seattle. The owners started a senior & assisted living company which is now national. Guess thats where our rent money went.
Must be quite a profit in the elder care industry!
Take a nap, Lady!