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Wow, Pirate. I don't know how you deal with all of that and the rest of your life too. You're a good daughter. I can feel your frustration all the way here.
My mom has calmed down and today she doesn't feel good. Just wants to lay down. I checked her sugar level and it's fine. Come to find out she does have a UTI and hubby went and got her medicine today. I'm hoping she will feel better once that kicks in. What to do. What to do.
pirate i thought about that medical button for dad , but then i picture him pushin the button for the hell of it , cry wolf . i thought nanana and picture him throw that thing in the trash . its good for people who has thier mind and is careful etc but people like our parents bedrest , need help liftin em up , take em to bathroom and all , those medical button is no good for them . bless ur herat for doing everything you can for ur mom . yes they like to cry wlof and act like they cant do this and that . dad did that for a while , now he cant do nothing but he can eat . :-)
Miz, Yeah the mind trips they are the worst. I got so mad at my mom last night, it's been awhile since I have been that mad at her. It's amazing how the Narcissism is still burried in their deep. Well a couple of months ago I had bought an extension phone set. Well you know the phones these days are so dinky. Well mom was holding the phone in her hand like it was 'roadkill' or something. Saying she can't see it (well she is 1/2 blind kinda), and she could not see the right buttons. But I hate when my mom plays dumb like this. If it is life and death you would think you would get your gumption together and try. Well then I just dismatled it and then took it home. Well since this fall I thought I am going to bring the phone back. So I did and set it up again...and heard the same ca ca. So I thought okay eons ago I bought my parents this phone with big numbers okay I will somehome maneuver and set that up, and I did. Well here comes again I can't see it crap. This phone is like 1 foot by 1 foot and the buttons are about 1 1/2 square. Then she holds the phone receiver stupid and can't find the phone. Well that just enraged me. I yelled at her what's the purpose of playing this game? It helps no one and hurts you more. Well I went on to my next task which was building one of those side railings from the bed. Well I F'd with that damn thing for about an hour. Damn them for sending everything we buy to China. I think one leg of the piece was machined wrong and would not fit. So have to take that back and hopefully the next package went through some f*ing QUALITY system so I can put it together. But boy she made me so mad with the old round and round banter. I trully did not think I was going to hear that crap. She is still 1/2 playing the cry wolf schema but in a little different way. She does not like the notion when I bring up Nursing Home. I told her you want to avoid reality, and that only is going to hurt you. I told her how long is she going to be keeping up staying at home. The caregiver is there 20 hours during the week, I come in the evenings every other night and all day on Sat/Sun...I spend a lot of time over there. I only have Mon,Wed,Fri eve's to myself. I know she talks behind my back about me negatively to her negative sister. My cousin's mom is a wierd trip as well. These folks from the 'old country' are really a trial, maybe worse than american old souls. LOL Anyway what irks me is here I am taking time off Mon and Tues worried about her, and yet when I try to encourage her to help herself so to speak, because if you let yourself just become a slug and let everything done for you I feel you are going to just decline even more into nothingness. Which was the point I was trying to make to her, that if you keep getting more and more helpless (even though I am sure if she really wanted she can use the phone - just like the playing dumb for months she could not turn on the tv and then when I started to turn on the tv and set it to a timer she got to like the idea of a tv in the bedroom and then ta da all of a sudden she could turn it on and lo and behold turn it off). So yeah I catch her in the playing dumb which goes along with crying wolf and poor me crap and it gets my goat. Like what I have read about Narcisissits on another blogsite where the originator had a mother that was a NPD, I remember reading from another poster on the blog..that they are like that till the day they die! I can see that now. I really thought it was gone recently cause she was quiet, but it's amazing what sparks this stuff back. Almost like a matchbook of NPD. WOW! Tonight I am going to treat myself and stay home, will go back soon enough tomorrow. Oh by the way sailors, does anyone have any opinion on the best "Medical Alert" systems for older folks. I am researching that now for her. I hope she does not waste time and money for me again and plays stupid she does not know what to push! LOL LOL LOL !
Wow, PIrate. You have been through some s%&*. What a chore!! I'm so sorry your mom is declining. I'm glad she wasn't hurt badly. How stressful all this must be for you. I guess we're all going through our own hells and they are similar and yet unique. My mom was much better today. Maybe she's too tired to be crazy. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. Hang in there, sweetie. Hang in there, all of yous.
Hello Sailors, I know it's been awhile since you heard from me. Well this past Saturday my mom had a wierd fall/accident. I found her around 1:00 in the afternoon wedged between the cabinet the floor and the top mattress on top of her. She said she was like that all night..and 1/2 the day. Well I was glad I talked my b/f to coming over with me with the enticement of bbq'ing for him over there. Well we got the top mattress off of her and then slowly got her up. She was befuddled. I knew she would be messy so I took her right away into the bathroom and stripped her down and gave her a bath. Had to clean a bunch of impacted poo out her "ahem". Just thought to myself...well I guess she had to do it to me when I was a babe. I was rushing so it made her a little bit ill and she thought she was going to heave but never did. It's true about what they say about when they have falls, they never seem to recoup and digress. I can see that with her since this past Saturday that she is declining. She no longer microwaves her cold coffee or food nor makes phone calls. I am getting geared for Nursing Home soon. I have the care-giver coming now starting Monday, 4 hours each day Mon-Fri. I still come over on Tuesday and Thursday nights but I may have to go more often and of course Sat/Sun. So I have been filled with Anxiety about this I took off work Mon and Tues this week to go over and observe her. This is the pits but I knew it was going to happen one day. I set up a phone extension in her room, but those new phones are so tiny she can't really utilize it. So gonna get a 25 ft extension phone cord and hook up an old phone that is about 1 ft by 1 ft and has the regular style handheld receiver and the numbers are about 1 1/2 inches big, still don't know if she will use it. I hope it has instant call buttons (preprogrammed) I just can't re-call well that is for after work today.
Okay now for those of you wondering about the bloody mattress. I don't know how my mom manages to do it, but she climbs into bed like a 4 year old ya know with the knees so with all her weight she pulls the mattress more and more over the edge. Well when I came over there on Tuesday I told the caregiver I am stripping down both beds that are in her room. My mom had 2 twin beds pushed together for her and dad. So I stripped them down to the bare bones. Man the layers she had built into those beds. I had a ton of comforters, matress covers and sheets piled in another room that either went in trash or thrift shop or caregiver took with her. I then made each bed up. Her's I put a plastic drop cloth under the mattress cover for extra protection AND THEN I GOT ROPE FROM THE GARAGE AND HOG TIED THE TOP AND BOTTOM MATTRESSES AND THE BED FRAME TOGETHER, and then a comforter and then two comforters on top. The other bed set up with sheets and blankie and comforters in case I spend the night. I also have to get rid of a ton of stuff like Bobbie but not as much as her gazillion books and such. My mom had a ton of clothes in all the closets and every cabinet is packed...oh the Thrift Shop is going to make out good with me. A lot of stuff is brand new.
Wow this disease really sucks. Mom got bad again yesterday afternoon/last night. She accused me of lying to her and was just not herself. She was so confused. She was up so many times. She was talking practically nonstop. She was questioning her night time meds and I'm worried I will have a problem getting her to take any meds. I knew this could all happen one day but I guess I never accepted that it would. I've been so fortunate up to this point and I guess I just have to keep telling myself that. Normally the CNA would be here today but she's on vacation. She'll be here on Monday. Wow that seems like a long time away. I'm thinking even if I don't find a part time job I will still need her here two days a week. I'm gonna need those "breaks". Thanks for listening, everyone. I love yas. Hugs and blessings to all.
Ah, sundowning. I know it well! When Mom is ready for bed, that's it. I can't distract her in any way. Good news is she is in bed at 6:30 and doesn't get up until 8AM. I do get her up every night before I go to bed. I make her pee and change her pull -up for the night. About the only time she keeps me up is when she has a UTI. She was a good sleeper her whole life and Merry tells me that lifelong habits usually follow us to the end. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one! Miz, I hope you get to catch up on your sleep. I know how you feel, as I have restless leg syndrome and don't sleep well most nights. I hope tomorrow is better for you.
thanks again for all of the love and support. You guys are getting the wear you out treatment too.
The new owner came over with his family and was really nice. Most of the stuff is out and I hope to have it finished by tomorrow. How long have I been saying that?? One of the main things is that I'm flat tired of looking at books and dirt and old building and giving directions. The crew today was good and we'll use 3 more of them tomorrow.
Please please let tomorrow be the last day. OMG. I just can't rent another Dumpster.
We have 2 MORE rooms to stage on the street and then we move the Barristers tomorrow and put them in place over here at the house. Then in October when I'll be up here for a minute I'll piecemeal the rest of the books out of storage.
this has been quite the adventure and working in 97degree heat is crazy but it's getting done. I'll so glad to be quit of that place that I won't know how to act. 11 THOUSAND SQUARE FEET of mayhem and how many times I heard mom say: I dont' know where it came from. People just give me things... and then smile like she had this amazing gift that people would give her stuff. Made her happy and there you go.
She had a mounted Sailfish (huge) that had still had the hook in it.
So much stuff and a lot of it is really interesting and you can see her sense of humor. I found a bag of stick on eyeballs and I also found a jar of glass eyes that belonged to my daddy. They're all Lefts.
People wonder why I'm nuts. Please.
125,000 books that we have processed. we just put them on the street today and gave them away. i'm always happy to see a book go to a good home.
I'm slammed and those guys will be here at 8am tomorrow.
love you guys and everybody remember: Tell 'em to pee up a rope. Doesn't matter who it is. If they get up on your one last good nerve you get to tell them whatever you want.
Thanks so much, deefer. Her urine looked clear but you never know. Hopefully they will call tomorrow to let me know. She got kinda bad again tonight. Right around sundowner's time. I'm hoping she sleeps through the night. She's wearing us all out. :)
Bobbie, Take time out to pat yourself on the back for a job well done!! It won't do for you to be too worn out to pilot that boat. We know you have a deadline, but please take care of yourself. Miz, Glad you are having Mom's urine tested, especially since she hasn't acted like this before. But I have to tell you, mom is like that most of the time now. I guess it's all downhill from here, with very few true lucid moments. Let's just hope it doesn't drag on forever, for the sake of us and our loved ones. I also feel our vets are grossly neglected by the government! Jsomebody, hang in there. We're all here for you!
Wow am I impressed with you caregiving angels. You are my heroes! The Veterans and the illegal alien things make me sick, too. Let's all get out and vote for Constitutional candidates. Our Primary is August 3rd. Got to end the crazy policies, and get the US back to sanity. God bless the USA, and God bless you caregivers.
The situation with veterans is a shame in this country, and it is right up onto the young people coming back injured and maimed and it starts all over again. They give so much and are told they will be taken care of and then they are dropped. Just did my floors and chores here, hope your day goes well.
good noon to u all !!! had an easy morning , thank u lord .
deefer ! your are a real friend ! bless your heart going out and get ur friend and the dog a window ac !! love u very very much for that ! god bless you . scraped up all u have just so they can stay cool and sleep like a baby tnite . youre a blessing ! lord will bless you for that ! xoxoxo
miz , ur mom sounded like my mil . she beat the crap out of my bil , cuz he tried to clean up all the clothes she had stored in the closet , way too many clothes she even cut them up thinkin she can make quilts out of it . when he first moved in with her he couldnt find his clothes , so he had to hide his new clothes now on well he found all his clothes stash way back in the closet , guess what they were all cut up . made him sick so he started throwing them in bigggg heavy duty black trash bags , she saw that and started hittin on him saying he has no rights to do that blah blah , told him to get out of her house and all . such a war goin on overthere . sad ... she likes to cut up clothes . he couldnt find any towels so he had to go buy some new ones , got about 10 new towels and well he cant find them . finaly found it it was cut up too . :-( . i told him to hide that damn sharp seizours (sp) she may come after him with it !!! oh im so sick to my tummy ! for our fathers to go out fight the war a horrible war they fought in and the f**kin hospital wont take him ! that is pathaic ! i tell u we re livin in a stupidty usa ! when we re struggling and need help , sorry cant help u cuz ure a usa residents , mexcians comes in crying oh sure we;ll help ya ! and theyre not legal ! screwed up usa ! i think ill hide in bobbies boat ! i am so glad i didnt sign up dad to veterns i thought about it but thought uh long ass paperworks to fill out blahblah . heck forget it ! and i am soo glad i said ugh forget it . if dad needs hospital theres no pblm . he is just lucky that he has insurance . sad sad mix up lives we all live in .. i woke up feeling blah another same old s##t , body s achin and didnt want to get up out ofthe bed , but had to drag myself up . ok dirty dishes sitting and waitin for me t o wash em . carpets need sweeping blah blah . anybody wanna help ?? come on over !! have a good day sailors !
Up. Another morning routine. I guess it is not too onerous considering some of the crap others have to deal with. I am a sap but I have my boundaries, and body care he needs I wont do unless it is an injury and if she has a problem with it she can just deal. Mine is a pathetic situation. Mentally ill daughter, life coward incapable of getting a life, done college, done work, done therapy, nothing takes, so here I am free elder care and hoping to GOD it ends soon! I just do what I have too, and ignore him. I am the one who threw out his porn, tried to comfort my mother that it was tame by today's standards, and it wasn't, stuff with imagery of violence and rape in it. Yes fine reading matter for ones 80 year old father, these tomes went back as far as 1958. I left out the throwing out of the Liquor bottles. My mother has an abhorrence to alcohol that is unreal for someone who says "no one drank when she was growing up." So now he is in cussing at the news paper, he is an old b***ard if ever there was one, the bigoted things he has said make me sick. And grandma was never like that so it isn't a "generational thing". My situation is unpleasant, but I read so are many of ours, it is a sad comfort yes, but at least we are all in the same book if not exactly on the same page so to speak.
AND anti-psychotics, that must be serious, at least you are getting some help there, I hope that situation calms down. Has it ever been that bad before? Peace.
miz, That is Obscene, he needed emergency care and they wanted to shift him, that is pathetic! And typical of the way veterans have been mistreated for decades.
Forgot to tell yous. Hubby's father had a gal bladder attack day before yesterday. He went to the local emergency room and they were gonna do surgery immediately until they found out he was a veteran (Vietnam) and didn't have insurance. Said he would have to go to a veteran's hospital about two hours away. They were supposed to call him and tell him when they were gonna do the surgery. They didn't do that and he called them and they are way backed up and told him they would get back with him in a week for a consultation. OMG what BS!! Is this how we treat our veteran's?!?! He could get really sick or even die within a week. I think they should let him have the operation at the local hospital and let the VA pay for it. I am so disgusted and worried for him.
Hello Everyone. It's me. The rest of last Sunday was horrible. Mom even got a little combative and nasty with me. I think what happened is she got stuck to some time in the past. Like we were younger and I was still a kid and she kept wanting to call her brother and sister-in-law and they are no longer living. Also, she did not recognize this house. Said she had never been here before because we lived in Phoenix (where bro and s-i-l lived). Also, said my dad was waiting for us in Phoenix. He's been gone almost 5 years. At one point she told me I wasn't her daughter. She also told me to shut up. It was so out of character for her. One of the reasons I think she thought she was younger is she had so much energy. I caught her trying to get the top off the cat litter box because she was looking for something. She was into everything...like a little kid. Caught her taking cigarettes out of my pack because she thought the guys might want some when they came back. Not sure who those guys were. She thought we had a second floor. Kept asking me where the suitcases were cause she was going to get on a train and go to Phoenix. I could go on and on. It was constant and she was so demanding. I don't know how you all do it if your loved one is that way all the time. I called the doc and he prescribed an anti-psycotic. I'm not sure how much good it did. I gave her one that day and another at bed time. She got up once that night and then slept the rest of the night, thank the good lord. The next day when there caregiver was here, Mom was exhausted and slept most of the day. I guess she was sleeping it off. She made no mention of the day before. This morning she is more active than usual but not too crazy. I'm still not really rested. My patience were worn so thin through it all. Had pms on top of everything. I was so worried she was gonna fall or have a heart attack. Also, I was worried that that was how it was gonna be for the rest of her life. God answered my prayers on that one. :) I got a cup to get a urine sample yesterday and will get that to the doc hopefully today. Welcome to the newcomers. What a wonderful bunch of people on this thread. K, gotta get back. Hang in there everyone. Love yous.
Happy Wednesday! Nice to meet all you newcomers! My sister is here for 3 weeks and she's had me running the roads already. I cook for everyone, including my sister's 92 year old MIL. Today we are going to spend the day shopping. Mom will be in daycare until 3, and Merry offered to pick her up so we wouldn't have to rush home. Sister has only been here 4 days and I'm already exhausted, but at least I have more help and good company for a while. Last year Mom had just gotten out of the NH and we couldn't leave the house. Did our good deed for the year yesterday. I have a friend who recently lost her 100 year old mother, and is all alone now. She has some family, but they haven't been there for her since her mom passed. When I spoke to her last week, she was so depressed and struggling with the heat. She has no $ and can't afford an air conditioner. Her dog and only companion is 13 and not doing well in the heat either. So I searched online to find a small air conditioner for her the next day. Of course everyone was out, but Sears had some coming in over the weekend, so my sister and I picked it up yesterday and went to her house and installed it. She said she didn't want it and was mad at me for buying it for her. But I won out in the end, because she is so worried about her dog. It's just a small room one, but will help to draw the humidity out of her house. Once we turned it on, both her and the dog decided it was a good idea to keep it. I really didn't have the $ , but ai felt the need to help her out, and I'm glad I did. All you newcomers, incontinence of both kinds is very hard to keep up with. Had ti clean Mom's behind 3 times yesterday. My sister new I had it bad, but can't believe how much there is to do, even with Merry coming 35 hours a week now. Mom can no longer walk alone or get herself on the pot or in and out of bed without lots of help. It's a good thing she only weighs 110! Dementia is very bad and manifests itself in many ways. The hardest part is getting yourself to stop thinking that they can still do for themselves. Have to get Mom ready for daycare. Have a good day everyone!
I have found that you have to ignore their protests about things like showers, day care, changing clothes, cleaning house, etc. It isn't easy to 'take over" but in the end they are glad. Mom fought me on showers, now she goes mostly willingly, she didn't want to go to daycare, now she wants me to drop her off even when it isn't her day to go or in the evening. It is just not the normal routine for the child to tell the parent/grandparent what to do, but there you have it.
As for the cleanliness issue, I just remind myself that if my Mom was thinking clearly she'd care that she hadn't taken a shower or brushed her hair. She'd be horrified to wear old ratty clothes. So, I try to think of it as thinking for her and keeping her in the style she'd have wanted.
Charon, eh? got some nice books on that. Mom was into learning about Everything.
Seriously, you have to get some boundaries cooking here with your folks. Dementia will run all over you and living in disgusting circumstances is not on the list.
In the beginning of my caregiving experience, when I came home for a unannounced visit, almost 6 years ago now, my mom was living in a filthy sh!!hole
. I moved her out over her protestations (I couldn't breathe in that and mom's sense of smell was shot) and took 14 months to repair the damage to the house. We were lucky that she also owned some apts and I moved us into the least disgusting of those. The house was a respirator only environment for 6 months untis I had professionally repaired the basement that had been taking on water and causing the house to be 'sick'.
Sick stink house is no good for anybody. Carpets are the worst. I hear you both, but your parents/grandparents can't make a good decision for themselves and that's what I mean when i say that Dementia will suck you in, suck you dry and sux period.
If your mom gets mad when you on the computer just tell her that you're learning how to save her life.
My mom would get so mad at me for cleaning, etc and then we would sit in the freshly cleaned room/area and have tea and she would just beam because I made it beautiful. I loved my mom and dad just like you guys do but had to 'take over'. she got mad, talked trash about me to her friends but stopped that nonsense about 2 years into the process. It takes awhile but i flat refused to live in a gross way and mom was demented and was living in a gross way. No Go.
My heart aches for you guys because I do know what you're experiencing. sux.
OK: the Boat is REAL. She's a 58' Monk Roughwater and I named her for my mom, Barbara B. My mom gave me a hard time but I didn't give up. I thought about naming her the USS StinkEye because I sure got enough of that, but that's just the disease.
i miss my mom like crazy and I hope you guys keep on coping and keep coming back! We love you!
bobbie321, I didn't know we were talking about a real boat, I thought it was figurative like waiting for our ships to come in, or Charon to come and take aging relatives away even! :) I have not been on a boat or swimming in decades and I would just about sell my soul to live on a lake. (No, not really, my soul is all I have that is MINE)
pjmest5, Got the pee house here too. I found several really good Pee Be Gone products as I have no authority to change anything here, In the pet sections things that have enzymes and remove not just cover up stink.
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My mom has calmed down and today she doesn't feel good. Just wants to lay down. I checked her sugar level and it's fine. Come to find out she does have a UTI and hubby went and got her medicine today. I'm hoping she will feel better once that kicks in. What to do. What to do.
love,
miz
its good for people who has thier mind and is careful etc but people like our parents bedrest , need help liftin em up , take em to bathroom and all , those medical button is no good for them .
bless ur herat for doing everything you can for ur mom . yes they like to cry wlof and act like they cant do this and that . dad did that for a while , now he cant do nothing but he can eat . :-)
Miz,
Yeah the mind trips they are the worst. I got so mad at my mom last night, it's been awhile since I have been that mad at her. It's amazing how the Narcissism is still burried in their deep. Well a couple of months ago I had bought an extension phone set. Well you know the phones these days are so dinky. Well mom was holding the phone in her hand like it was 'roadkill' or something. Saying she can't see it (well she is 1/2 blind kinda), and she could not see the right buttons. But I hate when my mom plays dumb like this. If it is life and death you would think you would get your gumption together and try. Well then I just dismatled it and then took it home. Well since this fall I thought I am going to bring the phone back. So I did and set it up again...and heard the same ca ca. So I thought okay eons ago I bought my parents this phone with big numbers okay I will somehome maneuver and set that up, and I did. Well here comes again I can't see it crap. This phone is like 1 foot by 1 foot and the buttons are about 1 1/2 square. Then she holds the phone receiver stupid and can't find the phone. Well that just enraged me. I yelled at her what's the purpose of playing this game? It helps no one and hurts you more. Well I went on to my next task which was building one of those side railings from the bed. Well I F'd with that damn thing for about an hour. Damn them for sending everything we buy to China. I think one leg of the piece was machined wrong and would not fit. So have to take that back and hopefully the next package went through some f*ing QUALITY system so I can put it together. But boy she made me so mad with the old round and round banter. I trully did not think I was going to hear that crap. She is still 1/2 playing the cry wolf schema but in a little different way. She does not like the notion when I bring up Nursing Home. I told her you want to avoid reality, and that only is going to hurt you. I told her how long is she going to be keeping up staying at home. The caregiver is there 20 hours during the week, I come in the evenings every other night and all day on Sat/Sun...I spend a lot of time over there. I only have Mon,Wed,Fri eve's to myself. I know she talks behind my back about me negatively to her negative sister. My cousin's mom is a wierd trip as well. These folks from the 'old country' are really a trial, maybe worse than american old souls. LOL
Anyway what irks me is here I am taking time off Mon and Tues worried about her, and yet when I try to encourage her to help herself so to speak, because if you let yourself just become a slug and let everything done for you I feel you are going to just decline even more into nothingness. Which was the point I was trying to make to her, that if you keep getting more and more helpless (even though I am sure if she really wanted she can use the phone - just like the playing dumb for months she could not turn on the tv and then when I started to turn on the tv and set it to a timer she got to like the idea of a tv in the bedroom and then ta da all of a sudden she could turn it on and lo and behold turn it off). So yeah I catch her in the playing dumb which goes along with crying wolf and poor me crap and it gets my goat. Like what I have read about Narcisissits on another blogsite where the originator had a mother that was a NPD, I remember reading from another poster on the blog..that they are like that till the day they die! I can see that now. I really thought it was gone recently cause she was quiet, but it's amazing what sparks this stuff back. Almost like a matchbook of NPD. WOW! Tonight I am going to treat myself and stay home, will go back soon enough tomorrow.
Oh by the way sailors, does anyone have any opinion on the best "Medical Alert" systems for older folks. I am researching that now for her. I hope she does not waste time and money for me again and plays stupid she does not know what to push! LOL LOL LOL !
love,
miz
I'm new but remember your posts as I scanned thru the 2000+ on Bobbie's Grossed out am glad you're baaaaaaack. People have asked about you!
Sorry about the mishaps with your mom. You are doing great!
I know it's been awhile since you heard from me. Well this past Saturday my mom had a wierd fall/accident. I found her around 1:00 in the afternoon wedged between the cabinet the floor and the top mattress on top of her. She said she was like that all night..and 1/2 the day. Well I was glad I talked my b/f to coming over with me with the enticement of bbq'ing for him over there. Well we got the top mattress off of her and then slowly got her up. She was befuddled. I knew she would be messy so I took her right away into the bathroom and stripped her down and gave her a bath. Had to clean a bunch of impacted poo out her "ahem". Just thought to myself...well I guess she had to do it to me when I was a babe. I was rushing so it made her a little bit ill and she thought she was going to heave but never did. It's true about what they say about when they have falls, they never seem to recoup and digress. I can see that with her since this past Saturday that she is declining. She no longer microwaves her cold coffee or food nor makes phone calls. I am getting geared for Nursing Home soon. I have the care-giver coming now starting Monday, 4 hours each day Mon-Fri. I still come over on Tuesday and Thursday nights but I may have to go more often and of course Sat/Sun. So I have been filled with Anxiety about this I took off work Mon and Tues this week to go over and observe her. This is the pits but I knew it was going to happen one day. I set up a phone extension in her room, but those new phones are so tiny she can't really utilize it. So gonna get a 25 ft extension phone cord and hook up an old phone that is about 1 ft by 1 ft and has the regular style handheld receiver and the numbers are about 1 1/2 inches big, still don't know if she will use it. I hope it has instant call buttons (preprogrammed) I just can't re-call well that is for after work today.
Okay now for those of you wondering about the bloody mattress. I don't know how my mom manages to do it, but she climbs into bed like a 4 year old ya know with the knees so with all her weight she pulls the mattress more and more over the edge. Well when I came over there on Tuesday I told the caregiver I am stripping down both beds that are in her room. My mom had 2 twin beds pushed together for her and dad. So I stripped them down to the bare bones. Man the layers she had built into those beds. I had a ton of comforters, matress covers and sheets piled in another room that either went in trash or thrift shop or caregiver took with her. I then made each bed up. Her's I put a plastic drop cloth under the mattress cover for extra protection AND THEN I GOT ROPE FROM THE GARAGE AND HOG TIED THE TOP AND BOTTOM MATTRESSES AND THE BED FRAME TOGETHER, and then a comforter and then two comforters on top. The other bed set up with sheets and blankie and comforters in case I spend the night. I also have to get rid of a ton of stuff like Bobbie but not as much as her gazillion books and such. My mom had a ton of clothes in all the closets and every cabinet is packed...oh the Thrift Shop is going to make out good with me. A lot of stuff is brand new.
miz
Miz, I hope you get to catch up on your sleep. I know how you feel, as I have restless leg syndrome and don't sleep well most nights. I hope tomorrow is better for you.
thanks again for all of the love and support. You guys are getting the wear you out treatment too.
The new owner came over with his family and was really nice. Most of the stuff is out and I hope to have it finished by tomorrow.
How long have I been saying that??
One of the main things is that I'm flat tired of looking at books and dirt and old building and giving directions. The crew today was good and we'll use 3 more of them tomorrow.
Please please let tomorrow be the last day. OMG. I just can't rent another Dumpster.
We have 2 MORE rooms to stage on the street and then we move the Barristers tomorrow and put them in place over here at the house. Then in October when I'll be up here for a minute I'll piecemeal the rest of the books out of storage.
this has been quite the adventure and working in 97degree heat is crazy but it's getting done. I'll so glad to be quit of that place that I won't know how to act. 11 THOUSAND SQUARE FEET of mayhem and how many times I heard mom say: I dont' know where it came from. People just give me things... and then smile like she had this amazing gift that people would give her stuff. Made her happy and there you go.
She had a mounted Sailfish (huge) that had still had the hook in it.
So much stuff and a lot of it is really interesting and you can see her sense of humor.
I found a bag of stick on eyeballs and I also found a jar of glass eyes that belonged to my daddy. They're all Lefts.
People wonder why I'm nuts. Please.
125,000 books that we have processed.
we just put them on the street today and gave them away.
i'm always happy to see a book go to a good home.
I'm slammed and those guys will be here at 8am tomorrow.
love you guys and everybody remember: Tell 'em to pee up a rope.
Doesn't matter who it is. If they get up on your one last good nerve you get to tell them whatever you want.
arrrr.
lovbob
love,
miz
Miz, Glad you are having Mom's urine tested, especially since she hasn't acted like this before. But I have to tell you, mom is like that most of the time now. I guess it's all downhill from here, with very few true lucid moments. Let's just hope it doesn't drag on forever, for the sake of us and our loved ones.
I also feel our vets are grossly neglected by the government!
Jsomebody, hang in there. We're all here for you!
lovbob
had an easy morning , thank u lord .
deefer ! your are a real friend ! bless your heart going out and get ur friend and the dog a window ac !! love u very very much for that ! god bless you . scraped up all u have just so they can stay cool and sleep like a baby tnite . youre a blessing ! lord will bless you for that ! xoxoxo
miz , ur mom sounded like my mil . she beat the crap out of my bil , cuz he tried to clean up all the clothes she had stored in the closet , way too many clothes she even cut them up thinkin she can make quilts out of it . when he first moved in with her he couldnt find his clothes , so he had to hide his new clothes now on well he found all his clothes stash way back in the closet , guess what they were all cut up . made him sick so he started throwing them in bigggg heavy duty black trash bags , she saw that and started hittin on him saying he has no rights to do that blah blah , told him to get out of her house and all . such a war goin on overthere . sad ... she likes to cut up clothes . he couldnt find any towels so he had to go buy some new ones , got about 10 new towels and well he cant find them . finaly found it it was cut up too . :-( . i told him to hide that damn sharp seizours (sp) she may come after him with it !!!
oh im so sick to my tummy ! for our fathers to go out fight the war a horrible war they fought in and the f**kin hospital wont take him !
that is pathaic ! i tell u we re livin in a stupidty usa !
when we re struggling and need help , sorry cant help u cuz ure a usa residents , mexcians comes in crying oh sure we;ll help ya ! and theyre not legal ! screwed up usa ! i think ill hide in bobbies boat !
i am so glad i didnt sign up dad to veterns i thought about it but thought uh long ass paperworks to fill out blahblah . heck forget it ! and i am soo glad i said ugh forget it . if dad needs hospital theres no pblm . he is just lucky that he has insurance .
sad sad mix up lives we all live in ..
i woke up feeling blah another same old s##t , body s achin and didnt want to get up out ofthe bed , but had to drag myself up .
ok dirty dishes sitting and waitin for me t o wash em . carpets need sweeping blah blah . anybody wanna help ?? come on over !!
have a good day sailors !
So now he is in cussing at the news paper, he is an old b***ard if ever there was one, the bigoted things he has said make me sick. And grandma was never like that so it isn't a "generational thing".
My situation is unpleasant, but I read so are many of ours, it is a sad comfort yes, but at least we are all in the same book if not exactly on the same page so to speak.
love,
miz
miz
Moms1: you get a gold star for that post. that is exactly how I did for my mom but you put it in the right words.
back to work for me.
lovbob
Did our good deed for the year yesterday. I have a friend who recently lost her 100 year old mother, and is all alone now. She has some family, but they haven't been there for her since her mom passed. When I spoke to her last week, she was so depressed and struggling with the heat. She has no $ and can't afford an air conditioner. Her dog and only companion is 13 and not doing well in the heat either. So I searched online to find a small air conditioner for her the next day. Of course everyone was out, but Sears had some coming in over the weekend, so my sister and I picked it up yesterday and went to her house and installed it.
She said she didn't want it and was mad at me for buying it for her. But I won out in the end, because she is so worried about her dog. It's just a small room one, but will help to draw the humidity out of her house. Once we turned it on, both her and the dog decided it was a good idea to keep it. I really didn't have the $ , but ai felt the need to help her out, and I'm glad I did.
All you newcomers, incontinence of both kinds is very hard to keep up with. Had ti clean Mom's behind 3 times yesterday. My sister new I had it bad, but can't believe how much there is to do, even with Merry coming 35 hours a week now. Mom can no longer walk alone or get herself on the pot or in and out of bed without lots of help. It's a good thing she only weighs 110! Dementia is very bad and manifests itself in many ways. The hardest part is getting yourself to stop thinking that they can still do for themselves.
Have to get Mom ready for daycare. Have a good day everyone!
As for the cleanliness issue, I just remind myself that if my Mom was thinking clearly she'd care that she hadn't taken a shower or brushed her hair. She'd be horrified to wear old ratty clothes. So, I try to think of it as thinking for her and keeping her in the style she'd have wanted.
Charon, eh? got some nice books on that. Mom was into learning about Everything.
Seriously, you have to get some boundaries cooking here with your folks. Dementia will run all over you and living in disgusting circumstances is not on the list.
In the beginning of my caregiving experience, when I came home for a unannounced visit, almost 6 years ago now, my mom was living in a filthy sh!!hole
. I moved her out over her protestations (I couldn't breathe in that and mom's sense of smell was shot) and took 14 months to repair the damage to the house. We were lucky that she also owned some apts and I moved us into the least disgusting of those.
The house was a respirator only environment for 6 months untis I had professionally repaired the basement that had been taking on water and causing the house to be 'sick'.
Sick stink house is no good for anybody. Carpets are the worst. I hear you both, but your parents/grandparents can't make a good decision for themselves and that's what I mean when i say that Dementia will suck you in, suck you dry and sux period.
If your mom gets mad when you on the computer just tell her that you're learning how to save her life.
My mom would get so mad at me for cleaning, etc and then we would sit in the freshly cleaned room/area and have tea and she would just beam because I made it beautiful.
I loved my mom and dad just like you guys do but had to 'take over'. she got mad, talked trash about me to her friends but stopped that nonsense about 2 years into the process. It takes awhile but i flat refused to live in a gross way and mom was demented and was living in a gross way.
No Go.
My heart aches for you guys because I do know what you're experiencing. sux.
OK: the Boat is REAL. She's a 58' Monk Roughwater and I named her for my mom, Barbara B. My mom gave me a hard time but I didn't give up. I thought about naming her the USS StinkEye because I sure got enough of that, but that's just the disease.
i miss my mom like crazy and I hope you guys keep on coping and keep coming back! We love you!
lovbob
pjmest5, Got the pee house here too. I found several really good Pee Be Gone products as I have no authority to change anything here, In the pet sections things that have enzymes and remove not just cover up stink.
Have to get off computer or mom will get mad...