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Well we THOUGHT we would be finished today but no. the owner's being a sweetheart and letting us finish the building because we're doing a good job and he'll get it ready to start construction.
The boat is Safe and Sound.
and we are exhausted beyond belief. I ran a crew of 8 people and drove the big U-Haul and we're on our 4th 22 cubic yard Dumpster and have had to get a storage unit. Books books. Almost done. Maybe tomorrow will do the trick.
Mom had a lot of stuff.
Whaddya mean the boat's not big enough. All you maniacs aren't going to be on it the same time. It carries 4000 people, Jeeze.
when we all get together we should just do Vegas. Best deals. Or Reno.
I want to get a big inner tube (remember those?) and float around while tied on a long line from the boat. Reading a book. In the Bahamas.
Who's In?
Hey jsome. cut that crappy carpet out of there. give then 2 tickets to an all you can eat buffet and get some buddies over and put all of you out of your misery. Use a carpet knife and just cut it out and throw it on the curb. End of Discussion. Dementia is their sickness but it sucks YOU in too. Screw that. Get rid of the carpet. If they get mad tell them to call the cops on you. The cops will think it's funny and it'll give them some laughs for the night.
Scrub the floor with Simple Green and pop a mop on the end of Grandpa's cane and give him the slippers that scrub the floor at the same time they're being shuffled around .
Get to E J MI next summer. right SS?
going to try and wash the grit off of me
Love you guys.
Rip you truly be the Stitch. All of you people are amazing
Jsome the boat's coming for you too. don't worry. You're going to see some sad sad stuff. Balance it out with the stuff that's going to be straight up funny.
Mom would admire her foot and leg. She would always stick it straight out, give it a nice long look and make sure you noticed and made a comment. Mine was usually: Nice drumsticks. she was very limber until right before the end.
Thank you everybody for the love and support during this back breaking time. Bless all your hearts.
We can"t seem to get my father-n-law to stop blowing his nose at the table. Its so gross, dont know what about eating makes his nose stop-up! He is also so afraid of loosing his dog(even though the yard is completely fenced) he will only let her out for about 30 seconds while he stands with the door wide open watching her. So she of course pees all over the house.
JS and rip, welcome to both of you. Yes, the boat should be huge. Trouble is, getting everyone time off for good behavior. LOL
lharde, Indiana is quite the distance from N. Mich. How far to Michigan City are you? I don't even know for me, except it's a long way. I'm still waiting at my city docks. Won't that be the day!
How's everyone? Seems I haven't seen a post my Miz in awhile, or Maxine, or Pirate, and then there's some who haven't been on in ages.
My new friend! How do you tolerate it? How old are you? You're carrying an enormous load without escape! I'm really frustrated for your situation! You must feel trapped. *I do but I used to have a life! Seems you haven't had a chance ...
What can we do for you? Would your mother accept care givers to offer you a break? What state do you live in? YOU need a break!
Thanks rip, I figure if the bulk o' the smell is a cleaning product I am staying ahead of it??? What a sad statement, and yet I am laughing, not good eh?
No, I am the grand child, my mom (her home) has the bulk of his care issues business wise and I am sort of unpaid char work and health aide on the spot. Need to be, he has two falls this month and I am not going to lift him, so I call 911 for assistance now, they look him over, make sure the environment if safe and get him up, then back to it.
Yikes, JS! A damp carpet is a smelly mess. Not something you should live with! Are you alone caring for your Grandfather?
Nobody should! I admire you for staying there. I hurt for YOU!!!I love your comment: "in the way only a family can be messed up".
I fear that Bobbie's 58' yacht wont be big enough for all of us. Maybe we should all gather on a real Cruise Ship for a week of relief. Stay sane ... I believe you are.
Yes I think we knew it was some Dementia, but my mother, who loves her father dearly, is in denial about a great many things about his behavior and abilities, she chose to have him stay here and I have the work all day while she is at work out of the house. We go through a lot of cleaning supplies, and she will here nothing against him. The carpet, well has not been dry in four years but she won't remove it because it might hurt his feelings. It is just a mess, in the way only a family can be messed up. Yes looking for that boat on the horizon. Anywhere...
horray last day today . how is ur husband s dad after havin the operations ? hope all is well ... my toe is still sore , can walk on it , swellin up a bit or 2 , feels like it needs pop back out to its place , must have jammed it and knock it out of its place , my sis in law offered to pull it i said oh nooooo hahaha , pa s good , chowing down his fav bfast and its all yummm yumm . he makes his mmm noise while eating , loud and clear ! then at the end he would thank me for a good bfast , bless his heart ! always polite says thank you . . i love my dad . i told my sis in law about u bobbie . told her about the boat and would like to take her along with me if its ok . i dont feel safe traveling alone , stoppin at gaststations alone makes my skin crawl ,. too many looney tuney bad guys out there . oh my we got some new folks on this here . welcome u guys ! yes dementia and alz just blows us all away and its amzaing what they do and ya never dream that ur parents would be doing that . all i can say is to treat them the way ya wanna be treated if youre dement . a kind lovely way , do it out of love and laugh too . one time pa tried so hard to have bm in toilet well gave up and step in shower and sat down on the shower seat and boy did he have bm . i laugh so hard told pa well guess its better in the shower than it is in the toliet , oh my pa laugh so hard ! i didnt mind it at all , i rather him to have bm and get er all out than worryin about begin all plug up . gotta love ur parent !! . theyre like lit kids , just dont know any better .
hey bobbie whats the name of a place to get off on at along the michgian side ?? so i can look it up and figure out how to get there when time comes . :-) have a good day !! xooxo
Dear Jsomebody. Your grandfather has dementia. That's what the disease looks like. It has many different forms but when the rubber meets the road this is what dementia does.
My mom had her own little issues with water and you name it. She had a form of dementia. This stuff is relentless and progressive.
They are not acting this way because all of a sudden they're bi-polar or schitz. They are demented and this is the behavior.
Aricept, Namenda and there's a new patch. talk to the doctor without them in the room and get some meds to slow it down a little. You will not be able to stop it, but you can bring some bizarre behaviors under control.
Get Granddad to draw a clock. round with the numbers where they're supposed to go and the hands saying, I dunno, 4:20. See if he can do that and let me know, might have another idea.
Remember, Dementia is a disease of the brain that can present as 'mental illness'. It is not. My heart goes out to you because i know EXACTLY what you are going through.
Keep comong back here to vent and on this site you will find amazing caregivers to help you.
Good luck and remember that he's not doing it to be a pain, he's just demented.
Please take good care of YOU. i did it for 24/7 for 5.5 years and it can take a toll. I have learned a lot since.
OK Mates: this is the last day of cleaning out that building. I've got a 24' truck and a storage unit and onward and upward.
Dear jsomebody, maybe the condition of your grandfather is not dementia, but these seem to me the first signs of mental problems... I'm sorry. My mother was the cleanest person in the world. She always dressed well, her hair were always perfect. Then one day she just started to do the things that your grandfather does, and now they have become much much worse... I do not think you can convince him to behave differently. So, patience and Lysol!
Hygiene is serious trouble all around. From what I have read in care books incontinence and issues surrounding it are really very stressful for everyone. I am not dealing with dementia here either just bizarre thoughts regarding water and electricity. My grandfather won't flush urine because he is "Saving water for the fire fighters" for his not washing his hands my mom got his a bottle of anti-germy hand sanitizer, it has stayed full for four months now.....He doesn't turn on lights to save electricity, or because he really likes the view from the floor when he falls for not being able to see where he is going. I would spay Lysol on everything he touched till yesterday when wiping the bathroom door knob off with a Clorox wipe I brought of bits of feces...THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH! If he kills himself from an E-coli infection of something, It isn't our fault!
Thanks SS. As it turns out, my captain can't make it this week either so I think I'll just stay up here and keep working on stashing the books that are coming into the house. At least I'll have a good clean house to come back to in Sept/Oct. The Captain siad that he should be able to sign off on me by the time we make it to NJ. That means I can move the boat myself. Right now I just have to be patient and know that I can take a bigger breath and fly out next week.
Moms1: try not ot use a constant antibiotic because it destroys all the good bacteria in the body also. All antibiotics should be accompanied by probiotics so the body doesn't lose that protection. Kefir, yogurt, you get it.
UTI's come from the wiping issues mostly. I know someone told me that they did everything to keep their mom clean but she still got them. When I placed mom for a few weeks for respite, she got one right away because she was combative when they tried to clean her. I brought her home with me and got her all cleared up.
Don't need a test. use your nose.
OK back to backbreaking work. We're getting closer. 11K sq ft is a LOT. We have most of the books packed and now the Barristers are being shuttled over. the big glass fronted bookcases used by the lawyers that were up there 100 years ago. found NJ law books dated 1902.
some of it is sad because I can't find a home for the National Geographics. Have them going back to the beginning. No one wants them. they're heavy and I am afraid that they will have to be Dumpstered. Sad sad, but we have given away over 10K new and barely used childrens' books to the Friends' Schools near here. Good stewards, the Quakers and they don't want the Nat Geos either!
Rip! love the hot flash stories.
Flex! waiting to hear about Charleston. find me a CHEAP berth for a 58", 6' draft tub. (Kidding, I'll find it, I hope!)
the adventure awaits and we are all invited senior crew and new swabs too.
Linda! how goes it? how's those toes?
Miz! Hang in there baby ...just think about the boat......it's coming.
Bobbie321, you are an amazing woman! I am so jealous that I don't live closer to the East Coast, and able to meet you sooner. Thoughts of driving out enter my brain often, but so does riding off into the sunset. Actually, running to the beach used to be my favorite activity, but we are so busy these days, I forget about it. Our nine year old asks to go, and I keep putting him off. (O, we've been a couple of times), but we're not the fun hogs we used to be pre-parental-Guardian days. We stick close, and spend a lot of time checking up on the dads. They aren't doing great, but seem comfortable in their environment. And they are still smiling and occasionally taking a walk with us. So...we are just on a part of the journey. We watch them decline, and are powerless to change that. Fortunately, they seem to enjoy our visits, to the extent they can. Though, Alz, and Dementia worlds are rather strange. Thankfully, we've not had to deal with UTI's, save once. And that was a doozie! I though we were going to lose dad, he got so bad. It was horrible! Scared the fire out of me. Or perhaps it was the Risperdol doing the double-whammy. I'm so glad he's off that med! Got my dad back from the precipice. Thank God! But we are watching the final stages of Alz. have their way with him. I cry inside. Hate that disease.
So, Bobbie, good for you. Hope your journey is full of adventure, relaxation, and blessings. Praying you are rewarded handsomely for the love and care you gave your mom!
Miz, I hope your mom smooths back out, and you get some rest soon.
flex, hope your headaches disappear quickly.
Love you all! And God bless each and every one of you.
My father had dozens of UTIs, mostly b/c of his enlarged prostate & the inability to drink anything that wasn't coffee or wine. He'd balk when the docs & I encouraged him to drink plain water!
After several trips to the ER in horrific pain he has conceeded. Plus he has a catheter which I drain. Not him ... me. I can tell by the smell. He drinks plernty of H2O living with me! Flushing out that nasty bacteria!!!
My friend's father was in his early 80's, living in a luxury home next to a prime golf course when she got the call. He was seeing Indians in the woods near his house in the gated community.
I mention all that b/c he was a very sane, very successful businessman who traveled the world & frankly, was a great guy.
My friend, being 250 miles away called the local 911. EMS transported him to the big city ER, ran dozens of tests & from what I heard, it all came down to an undiagnosised UTI.
I guess it can cause dillusions & hallucinations. I know Dad used to drop on the floor b/c of dehydration. Apparently UTIs & the latest meds were common talk in the dining room.
Doc gave him Sulfa pills & low grade antibiotics for a while, but his deal had to do with his growing prostate pinching his ureatha.
Now that he is wearing the "Dragon" full time he no longer runs to the can 5 times an hour. *Cut down on his activity tho.
I moniter his "void" & all is better. Waiting for the results of his PSA test last week. He get hormone shots for the prostate cancer. A side effect is Hot Flashes. Female Hormones, you know.
We laugh about flashing together but he has had many more hot flashes than I. *I think I am post menopausal ... haven't had time to care!
His face will turn red & he grins. Really used to work for him with the ladies seated with him in the dining room! How many men can discuss hot flashes with women who've been there. He was a hero among the ladies!
Seriously, I don't know why there aren't home test kits for UTIs. Maybe there are. They test everything now. Seniors really need to be monitered & as they say nowdays, hydrated. We used to call it hitting the drinking fountain or guzzling from the hose.
Keep those seniors soaked from the inside. It flushes out the toxins that might otherwise block up & ...
I'll find out what I can about Charleston harbor and keep you posted. I'm so excited we will get to meet soon!
I've been laying low this last week because I have had migraine headaches most of the week. Luckily mom has been behaving pretty good. She likes her newest garegiver so that is definitely a good thing. She is out with my nephew right now at an orchid society weekend. She is so excitied he has taken up her love of orchids.
Mom gets UTI's frequently too. So far she doesn't have the bad reaction most of you have experienced. I guess that is still to come. I know some people use cranberry pills to help control them too.
To the newbies, welcome! This gang is the best! They are life savers!
I had never realized before Mom started with dementia how common UTIs are in the elderly and how much they effect them. I have heard that sometimes doctors will prescribe a low dose antibiotic for long term use. Has anyone had experience with this treatment?
Miz, Have her urine tested asap. When Mom goes completely off the wall, she has a UTI. She usually sleeps all night without fail, but when she has a UTI, all bets are off. If your mom is usually good at night and this is out of character, there is definitely something causing it. I take Requip for restless leg syndrome, and know what you mean about having to sleep. My pill makes me very nauseous about 1/2 hour after I take it. I have to get right in bed. But as we know, that sometimes can't be done. I end up walking around all day bouncing off the walls and acting like a drug addict! It's a horrible feeling. Just make sure Mom doesn't have a UTI. Good luck, and try to get some rest. Like that is going to happen!
Hi Old Friends & New, was a hell of a night last night. Mom had me up at least 10 times. She is hallucinating and just manic and nuts. I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck. The meds I take require me to get at least 8 or 8 1/2 hrs. sleep or I feel like S@#$%. She is so wound up and won't settle down and rest. She won't let me rest either. Hubby says ya gotta laugh. I guess he's right. But right now that's the last thing I feel like doing. I guess my day is shot. I worry that this is the storm before the calm if that makes sense. It's so hard being patient but I'm a tryin'. :) More later. Love yas!!
Welcome to Rose from Italy, moms1 and reallytired.
this is the disease you're dealing with. with my mom I sprayed her and her bed down with Febreeze (didn't soak her, just a light mist) and the next day she was ready for her bath, wow.
They will be combative and nasty but the reality is that you can get them to do what you need them to do by brooking no bs. "Mom, you smell BAD' and we can't (insert favorite activity) until WE shower.
When you get to the point that they won't bathe and don't put on clean clothes, that means that part of their brain is gone and you have to bathe them and dress them. Not good news I know but they are not doing it to be a pain, their brains are just so shot in that area that they think they're right and that they are protecting their 'independence'. Don't put up with it. Sounds tough and believe me I know how it can beat you up but the bathing issue was not open for discussion with my mom. It took me awhile before she would just follow me and get in the shower and I would wash her from stem to stern and she got to like it because I would work on her sore back, etc. Handheld shower head a great investment.
Mom got a shower every other day and the cat's bath in the sink on the in between days. Face, pits and 'area'. Like Red Foxx said: 'I don't care who you are, you got to wash your ass.'
Browse through this thread and you will meet some amazing caregivers who love their parents/spouses more than anything but they know that venting and finding your sense of humor will save your life. It saved mine.
The one thing I can tell you for sure is that this job you all are doing will end. some sooner than later, but it will end. Your job as caregiver is to not end first. Protect yourselves!
My new job My Maties, is that on Wednesday evening in Vero Beach I will offically become the manager of the Barbara B.
Love you all, including our new Shipmates and Flex! talk to me about Charleston Harbor! We have refit in N. Fla that will lay us up for about 2 weeks and then we continue North and I want to meet you in Charleston!
Any of you caregivers, new or been on the thread since inception, if you're near the East Coast, I will be taking the boat I named for my mom who died of end stage Dementia on May 26th, up the coast and if you're anywhere near, let me know via this thread and we will put in close to where you are! No kidding. I named her after my mom but really Barbara B means rest and hanging out with our own kind. People that understand what this Hell is really about.
Hang in there everybody, got to go and keep cleaning out that building.
Yes, I put the dirty clothes in the washing machine and start the machine before she can dig them out. The shower is always a trauma for her, but I try to be firm (sometimes, VERY firm) and I say to myself that it's a good thing for her (and for me, of course!) I have always to watch what she does in cafés and restaurants (my mother plunges potato chips in the coffee) and after a while you became as fast as light in avoiding little dysasters! But I think that these problems are the slightest ones...
bobbie !! ure fullof suprises ! u got a job !! i didnt even know u were looking , or the job came lookin for ya ? gotta tell us in details real soon .
welcome aboard ladies ! you guys sounds like me when i first started takin care of my dad , lol its all worth it ! gotta love em .
always good to hear from u S.S , love you ! storming here ibest get off this thing or eles it be fried and cant get on no more waaaaa , dont want that , goodnight xoxoox
Bobbie, you're still taking care of your mother's stuff. That's got to be hard on you, and no wonder you're exhausted. Wish you were able to pace yourself, getting some rest in there, too. What about this new job?
Hi Miz! Hope you are enjoying that new porch furniture. How's the job hunt going?
lhardebeck, hope you had a great visit with your brother. And hope your dad is enjoying his visit, as well.
Pirate? Maxine? Deefer? Hope everyone is having a good weekend.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
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Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
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Well we THOUGHT we would be finished today but no. the owner's being a sweetheart and letting us finish the building because we're doing a good job and he'll get it ready to start construction.
The boat is Safe and Sound.
and we are exhausted beyond belief.
I ran a crew of 8 people and drove the big U-Haul and we're on our 4th 22 cubic yard Dumpster and have had to get a storage unit. Books books. Almost done. Maybe tomorrow will do the trick.
Mom had a lot of stuff.
Whaddya mean the boat's not big enough. All you maniacs aren't going to be on it the same time. It carries 4000 people, Jeeze.
when we all get together we should just do Vegas. Best deals. Or Reno.
I want to get a big inner tube (remember those?) and float around while tied on a long line from the boat. Reading a book. In the Bahamas.
Who's In?
Hey jsome. cut that crappy carpet out of there. give then 2 tickets to an all you can eat buffet and get some buddies over and put all of you out of your misery.
Use a carpet knife and just cut it out and throw it on the curb. End of Discussion. Dementia is their sickness but it sucks YOU in too. Screw that. Get rid of the carpet. If they get mad tell them to call the cops on you.
The cops will think it's funny and it'll give them some laughs for the night.
Scrub the floor with Simple Green and pop a mop on the end of Grandpa's cane and give him the slippers that scrub the floor at the same time they're being shuffled around .
Get to E J MI next summer. right SS?
going to try and wash the grit off of me
Love you guys.
Rip you truly be the Stitch. All of you people are amazing
Jsome the boat's coming for you too. don't worry. You're going to see some sad sad stuff. Balance it out with the stuff that's going to be straight up funny.
Mom would admire her foot and leg. She would always stick it straight out, give it a nice long look and make sure you noticed and made a comment. Mine was usually: Nice drumsticks.
she was very limber until right before the end.
Thank you everybody for the love and support during this back breaking time. Bless all your hearts.
lovbob
lharde, Indiana is quite the distance from N. Mich. How far to Michigan City are you? I don't even know for me, except it's a long way. I'm still waiting at my city docks. Won't that be the day!
How's everyone? Seems I haven't seen a post my Miz in awhile, or Maxine, or Pirate, and then there's some who haven't been on in ages.
How old are you?
You're carrying an enormous load without escape!
I'm really frustrated for your situation! You must feel trapped.
*I do but I used to have a life! Seems you haven't had a chance ...
What can we do for you?
Would your mother accept care givers to offer you a break?
What state do you live in?
YOU need a break!
No, I am the grand child, my mom (her home) has the bulk of his care issues business wise and I am sort of unpaid char work and health aide on the spot. Need to be, he has two falls this month and I am not going to lift him, so I call 911 for assistance now, they look him over, make sure the environment if safe and get him up, then back to it.
A damp carpet is a smelly mess. Not something you should live with!
Are you alone caring for your Grandfather?
Nobody should! I admire you for staying there.
I hurt for YOU!!!I love your comment:
"in the way only a family can be messed up".
I fear that Bobbie's 58' yacht wont be big enough for all of us.
Maybe we should all gather on a real Cruise Ship for a week of relief.
Stay sane ... I believe you are.
So much Sh*t in your life ..........
Yeah for you, Bobbie! Praying all goes smoothly.
my toe is still sore , can walk on it , swellin up a bit or 2 , feels like it needs pop back out to its place , must have jammed it and knock it out of its place , my sis in law offered to pull it i said oh nooooo hahaha ,
pa s good , chowing down his fav bfast and its all yummm yumm . he makes his mmm noise while eating , loud and clear ! then at the end he would thank me for a good bfast , bless his heart !
always polite says thank you . . i love my dad .
i told my sis in law about u bobbie . told her about the boat and would like to take her along with me if its ok . i dont feel safe traveling alone , stoppin at gaststations alone makes my skin crawl ,. too many looney tuney bad guys out there .
oh my we got some new folks on this here . welcome u guys ! yes dementia and alz just blows us all away and its amzaing what they do and ya never dream that ur parents would be doing that . all i can say is to treat them the way ya wanna be treated if youre dement .
a kind lovely way , do it out of love and laugh too .
one time pa tried so hard to have bm in toilet well gave up and step in shower and sat down on the shower seat and boy did he have bm . i laugh so hard told pa well guess its better in the shower than it is in the toliet , oh my pa laugh so hard ! i didnt mind it at all , i rather him to have bm and get er all out than worryin about begin all plug up .
gotta love ur parent !! . theyre like lit kids , just dont know any better .
hey bobbie whats the name of a place to get off on at along the michgian side ?? so i can look it up and figure out how to get there when time comes . :-)
have a good day !! xooxo
lovbob
My mom had her own little issues with water and you name it. She had a form of dementia. This stuff is relentless and progressive.
They are not acting this way because all of a sudden they're bi-polar or schitz. They are demented and this is the behavior.
Aricept, Namenda and there's a new patch. talk to the doctor without them in the room and get some meds to slow it down a little. You will not be able to stop it, but you can bring some bizarre behaviors under control.
Get Granddad to draw a clock. round with the numbers where they're supposed to go and the hands saying, I dunno, 4:20. See if he can do that and let me know, might have another idea.
Remember, Dementia is a disease of the brain that can present as 'mental illness'. It is not. My heart goes out to you because i know EXACTLY what you are going through.
Keep comong back here to vent and on this site you will find amazing caregivers to help you.
Good luck and remember that he's not doing it to be a pain, he's just demented.
Please take good care of YOU. i did it for 24/7 for 5.5 years and it can take a toll. I have learned a lot since.
OK Mates: this is the last day of cleaning out that building. I've got a 24' truck and a storage unit and onward and upward.
love to all,
lovbob
The Captain siad that he should be able to sign off on me by the time we make it to NJ. That means I can move the boat myself. Right now I just have to be patient and know that I can take a bigger breath and fly out next week.
Moms1: try not ot use a constant antibiotic because it destroys all the good bacteria in the body also. All antibiotics should be accompanied by probiotics so the body doesn't lose that protection. Kefir, yogurt, you get it.
UTI's come from the wiping issues mostly. I know someone told me that they did everything to keep their mom clean but she still got them.
When I placed mom for a few weeks for respite, she got one right away because she was combative when they tried to clean her. I brought her home with me and got her all cleared up.
Don't need a test. use your nose.
OK back to backbreaking work. We're getting closer. 11K sq ft is a LOT. We have most of the books packed and now the Barristers are being shuttled over. the big glass fronted bookcases used by the lawyers that were up there 100 years ago. found NJ law books dated 1902.
some of it is sad because I can't find a home for the National Geographics. Have them going back to the beginning. No one wants them. they're heavy and I am afraid that they will have to be Dumpstered. Sad sad, but we have given away over 10K new and barely used childrens' books to the Friends' Schools near here. Good stewards, the Quakers and they don't want the Nat Geos either!
Rip! love the hot flash stories.
Flex! waiting to hear about Charleston. find me a CHEAP berth for a 58", 6' draft tub. (Kidding, I'll find it, I hope!)
the adventure awaits and we are all invited senior crew and new swabs too.
Linda! how goes it? how's those toes?
Miz! Hang in there baby ...just think about the boat......it's coming.
lovbob
So, Bobbie, good for you. Hope your journey is full of adventure, relaxation, and blessings. Praying you are rewarded handsomely for the love and care you gave your mom!
Miz, I hope your mom smooths back out, and you get some rest soon.
flex, hope your headaches disappear quickly.
Love you all! And God bless each and every one of you.
After several trips to the ER in horrific pain he has conceeded. Plus he has a catheter which I drain. Not him ... me. I can tell by the smell.
He drinks plernty of H2O living with me! Flushing out that nasty bacteria!!!
My friend's father was in his early 80's, living in a luxury home next to a prime golf course when she got the call. He was seeing Indians in the woods near his house in the gated community.
I mention all that b/c he was a very sane, very successful businessman who traveled the world & frankly, was a great guy.
My friend, being 250 miles away called the local 911. EMS transported him to the big city ER, ran dozens of tests & from what I heard, it all came down to an undiagnosised UTI.
I guess it can cause dillusions & hallucinations.
I know Dad used to drop on the floor b/c of dehydration. Apparently UTIs & the latest meds were common talk in the dining room.
Doc gave him Sulfa pills & low grade antibiotics for a while, but his deal had to do with his growing prostate pinching his ureatha.
Now that he is wearing the "Dragon" full time he no longer runs to the can 5 times an hour. *Cut down on his activity tho.
I moniter his "void" & all is better. Waiting for the results of his PSA test last week. He get hormone shots for the prostate cancer. A side effect is Hot Flashes. Female Hormones, you know.
We laugh about flashing together but he has had many more hot flashes than I. *I think I am post menopausal ... haven't had time to care!
His face will turn red & he grins.
Really used to work for him with the ladies seated with him in the dining room! How many men can discuss hot flashes with women who've been there. He was a hero among the ladies!
Seriously, I don't know why there aren't home test kits for UTIs. Maybe there are. They test everything now.
Seniors really need to be monitered & as they say nowdays, hydrated. We used to call it hitting the drinking fountain or guzzling from the hose.
Keep those seniors soaked from the inside. It flushes out the toxins that might otherwise block up & ...
I'll find out what I can about Charleston harbor and keep you posted. I'm so excited we will get to meet soon!
I've been laying low this last week because I have had migraine headaches most of the week. Luckily mom has been behaving pretty good. She likes her newest garegiver so that is definitely a good thing. She is out with my nephew right now at an orchid society weekend. She is so excitied he has taken up her love of orchids.
Mom gets UTI's frequently too. So far she doesn't have the bad reaction most of you have experienced. I guess that is still to come. I know some people use cranberry pills to help control them too.
To the newbies, welcome! This gang is the best! They are life savers!
Take care my fellow caregivers.
Luv ya,
Diane (Flex)
I take Requip for restless leg syndrome, and know what you mean about having to sleep. My pill makes me very nauseous about 1/2 hour after I take it. I have to get right in bed. But as we know, that sometimes can't be done. I end up walking around all day bouncing off the walls and acting like a drug addict! It's a horrible feeling. Just make sure Mom doesn't have a UTI. Good luck, and try to get some rest. Like that is going to happen!
miz
this is the disease you're dealing with. with my mom I sprayed her and her bed down with Febreeze (didn't soak her, just a light mist) and the next day she was ready for her bath, wow.
They will be combative and nasty but the reality is that you can get them to do what you need them to do by brooking no bs. "Mom, you smell BAD' and we can't (insert favorite activity) until WE shower.
When you get to the point that they won't bathe and don't put on clean clothes, that means that part of their brain is gone and you have to bathe them and dress them. Not good news I know but they are not doing it to be a pain, their brains are just so shot in that area that they think they're right and that they are protecting their 'independence'. Don't put up with it. Sounds tough and believe me I know how it can beat you up but the bathing issue was not open for discussion with my mom. It took me awhile before she would just follow me and get in the shower and I would wash her from stem to stern and she got to like it because I would work on her sore back, etc. Handheld shower head a great investment.
Mom got a shower every other day and the cat's bath in the sink on the in between days. Face, pits and 'area'. Like Red Foxx said: 'I don't care who you are, you got to wash your ass.'
Browse through this thread and you will meet some amazing caregivers who love their parents/spouses more than anything but they know that venting and finding your sense of humor will save your life. It saved mine.
The one thing I can tell you for sure is that this job you all are doing will end. some sooner than later, but it will end. Your job as caregiver is to not end first. Protect yourselves!
My new job My Maties, is that on Wednesday evening in Vero Beach I will offically become the manager of the Barbara B.
Love you all, including our new Shipmates and Flex! talk to me about Charleston Harbor! We have refit in N. Fla that will lay us up for about 2 weeks and then we continue North and I want to meet you in Charleston!
Any of you caregivers, new or been on the thread since inception, if you're near the East Coast, I will be taking the boat I named for my mom who died of end stage Dementia on May 26th, up the coast and if you're anywhere near, let me know via this thread and we will put in close to where you are! No kidding. I named her after my mom but really Barbara B means rest and hanging out with our own kind. People that understand what this Hell is really about.
Hang in there everybody, got to go and keep cleaning out that building.
lovbob
welcome aboard ladies ! you guys sounds like me when i first started takin care of my dad , lol its all worth it ! gotta love em .
always good to hear from u S.S , love you ! storming here ibest get off this thing or eles it be fried and cant get on no more waaaaa , dont want that , goodnight xoxoox
Bobbie, you're still taking care of your mother's stuff. That's got to be hard on you, and no wonder you're exhausted. Wish you were able to pace yourself, getting some rest in there, too. What about this new job?
Hi Miz! Hope you are enjoying that new porch furniture. How's the job hunt going?
lhardebeck, hope you had a great visit with your brother. And hope your dad is enjoying his visit, as well.
Pirate? Maxine? Deefer? Hope everyone is having a good weekend.
Strange, how this happens.