Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I am glad some of you get what I mean about the caregiver rearranging things. Her supervisor is going to talk to her next Tuesday. Again when I came over there last night. The dish soap bottle is in the sink, not up on the counter, where I REPEATEDLY put it back. The butter tub was not put back and the box of butter was put there in it's place. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I PUT THE BUTTER TUB BACK in it's place she ALWAYS puts it back in a different spot. You would think by now she would put it back in the same spot I put it.
Harde.....wahhh I never heard about your camping trip...if you did already I missed it...please give me a quick summary...I am camping vicariously through you...lol!
I can't wait to go on a long outing or a trip...been waiting 11 1/2 years.
You can get rid of the fruit flies by placeing small dishes of vinegar and a little bit of dish detergent in them. The vinegar attracts them and the detergent makes it so that they can't get out!
lhardebeck, I'm inclined to say to honor your pa's wishes. Unless the doc can talk him into it. It's a tough call. I guess if I didn't want to have some sort of test I would want my wishes honored. I don't know. Last time Mom had a complete physical her doc said he wasn't going to do it anymore. That it was too hard on her. lhardebeck, I know not having the tests done will be hard on you because maybe your pa could be helped if he got the tests. Hopefully others on here will have better insights than me.
yes throw out the fruit hahaha , keep in ref maybe ? how about ants ! seems they all keeps parading around in my kitchen . bug spray ant motel seems to invite more and more ants . no matter how much i clean my counter top they pop up lookin for something eles to walk on grrrr . dr called while ago said pa swallowing test shows theres something wrong . gotta go to throat nose ear specilist . then said for his pee yes theres a strong amount of amonia in there and wants him to see a speiclist for that one too . pa has turn them down few yrs ago and refusing to go . knowing they wanted to go up inside o f his penis to ck around and see what they can find . pa showed his teeth an dgrowled NO ! even when he was in hospital for uti and almost died of it i have ask for them to go ck it out while he was knocked out , they said oh well umm we do it in few weeks but never gave me any appt for it . i dont know what to do . force dad to go have it tested or listen to him ? my daughter said oh mom u know its all about money . go here go there and poke more uhh go to another doc blahblah . pa s done begin poked at . he wants to be left alone and willin to go dr for check up but not to be poked at . i dont know what to do . HELP !!
SS, you're such a dear. What would I do without you? I hate to think of it. I'm so grateful for this site and that I met you all on here. :) All of yous. Such a blessing.
lhardebeck, thanks so much. I think you and I are in the same "boat" so to speak. Not much freedom AT ALL. It'll drive ya crazy if ya let it. Mom poops out very easily. She has for quite awhile now. I think it's her weak heart and probably the alz. I enjoy her friends so I hated to leave but I sure don't want something to happen to Mom if we stayed longer. They are very understanding. They're Mom's best friends. I love them too. :) Just think about the boat, sweetie.
you know you can say anything you want. You just express your feelings and don't fret. What you're experiencing is really really tough and you know that I know.
Working our butts off, helper and me.
Finally filling pool and arranging back yard. Basement about 1/3 done, but most of the gross stuff has been removed.
hi pamela ! good to hear from you , hows ur mom ? better i hope . s.s youre right this is a place to vent out . so miz you shouldnt feel bad about venting out , pourin ur heart out is good for you ! im down in the dump today too i wanted to go yard sales this morning but i cant go . hauling dad around yesterday was like lifting 140 pounds baby . too much for me . down in the dump to hear somebody going off on a vacation and realy have a good time and im stuck at home . last weekend i went camping and it went by too damn fast for me to even remmy what i did ! . zoom back home already felt like i havent left . fruit flies are a nightmare they just keep muliplying . i have no clue how to getrid of it other than wait for winter to roll in . wheres bobbie . need her here to put a smile on our face ! guess i ll go take a nap . maybe ill wake up and be in better mood . ya think ? miz hope ur mom feels better after takin her nap . must be the hot weather that drained her out fast . xoxo
Miz, don't worry about being a downer. You aren't. In fact, you are one of many of the wonderfully supportive and compassionate ones on here. What I'm reading, though, is you're concerned about "dumping" your feelings of grief and frustration. We understand. Feel free to vent, vent, vent. That's what we're here for! You're safe here, so go for it! I'm sure you'd be giving us the same advice. Let it out, sweetheart! And know you're not alone. We know how emotionally draining Caregiving is, and how it feels to experience it, remember? And we're here to support you, and pray for you. Sending hugs, as well.
Mom seems to know me now so maybe it was an isolated incident for now. We just tried to go out to lunch with her really good friends but Mom had to leave the restaurant to come home and lay down after about a half hour so I got to go boxes and paid our bill and brought her home. Very sad. Made me feel down and stuff. Gotta go to a nursing home later and see my friend from across the street. Poor thing. I wish she could go home but it's just not possible. Her roommate has alz and can not talk and just lays there and cries. Maybe I'll wait and go tomorrow, I don't know. Hubby takes care of her yard for her and she owes him some money for that. Man, I feel like I do everything myself. I let the family know about Mom not knowing me. Just thought they should know. Been looking for a part time job. No interviews yet. Sorry I'm such a downer. Anyone know how to get rid of fruit flies in the house?
Pirate, I agree with you 100% . It can really drive ya nuts. Our caregiver is wonderful. She takes great care of Mom and does some cleaning. But she loves to put things away and straighten up things. She says to call her if I can't find something. LOL I guess there is no perfect one out there and I just take the great with the other stuff. I think what we do is hard enough that things can really drive us crazy.
Speaking of Agencies I found out our helper isn't even working through the Agency the majority of the time, she's being paid directly. That's another story though.
and the powder always takes my breath away too , i just sprinkle a lit bit , too much is too much ! i cant breath ! i often thought about babies , poor babies ! i can only imagin how much they gasp for air cuz thier lit lungs so are small , elders theyre just barely breathin . i would be getting rid of that powder . hope u find u another merry or sara . :-)
Some birthday present!! Merry's 60th birthday is today, and what a mess she walked into! When I got Mom out of bed this morning, she smelled like a barn full of animals. So I put her in the shower to get pretty smelling. Unfortunately, she sh@# all over the shower and left me with more of a mess. After I cleaned everything up, I gave her a haircut and curled her hair too. Now it's nice and short and easy to do. Poor Merry came at 11:00 and found me holding Mom's hands to keep her from pulling her pants down. She had a huge mess in them! So Merry had to help clean her while I held onto her hands so she wouldn't make things worse. The grossness never ends, it just gets worse! Merry is a trooper and smiled through the whole process. She does not work for an agency, and will cook and do light housework. She does put things back where they came from, and often cooks meals for Mom when she is at her home. If you have someone through an agency, check to make sure exactly what their duties are. Most of them do allow for light housework and cooking. They really should respect your area and put things back where they belong. Pirate, Powder on the floor is a big cause for injury. If she must use so much on your mom, she should clean it up, or your mom's homeowner insurance might be paying compensation to the aide when she falls on the bathroom floor. I would definitely talk to the agency about her.
I understand completely about the caregiver. I feel like a visitor in my own home. I have to search for things constantly. I get so frustrated just trying to cook a meal at night since the caregiver of the day has put up the utensils, pots or casserole dish in the wrong place. I've started with a new agency recently but I'm still finding odd things. One doesn't know that the quilted side of the incontinence pad for the bed goes face-up. The other put my mothers bra on her inside out. And lastly, one thinks she should "organize" all my stuff in little boxes and plastic containers. I try to keep my cool because the intent is good, just not the right way.
Miz, I am sorry your mom didn't know you. My mom gets very confused if she is awakened when she is dozing in her recliner. She can go off on wild stories and ask where I am and stuff. I have to give her a little bit and she gets herself cleared up, or at least most of the time.
Bobbie, I am glad you are getting help with these tasks. I wish I had reliable help with all my projects. I complain about this, yet I am so fortunate compared to so many of you. My old mom is gone, but who sheis today is in much better condition than what so many of you are facing each day. I will keep you each in my prayers everyday.
My brother and his wife are in town so I have been taking mom to visit them each night since they are staying with their son this time. THat is why I haven't been online much lately. I try to read each night, but the last few nights I was just too tired.
Take care SS, Miz, Bobbie321, Bobbie, godhelpus, deefer, ihard and anyone I've left out. Be kind to yourselves and nuture yourselves like you do your loved ones.
ask for another caregiver . i know i would , why have someone in ur life that just makes ya upset , u dont need that . u need sara ! bobbies helper . keep on lookin till u find the one that u welcome her in ur daily lives . took pa to hosp for swallowing test . lady there said he did good ! i thoughtin back of my mind ure kiddin ! deefer , i agree with you i think thats whats wrong with my dad . sometimes i think its all for attention but then again maybe not . took him to china buffeet he was happy camper . ate and made a lit bit of noise . i told him before we went inside that we dont take him out to much cuz you make all kinds of noises ! lasttime we went we ha dto get him outta there before somebody calls 911 . told him plzzzzzzzzzzzzz dont do that in there . so he did ok but lit noise . not like the last time . came home daughter , dad and i passed out for 3 hrs ! lord what a day . then i had to leave again to go get grocries . i didnt want to do that with dad no way , takin him in the van and out of van is what drains us out . go home and take a nap . :-) you all have a good evening !
Hi Ladies, How are things? Yes I saw mom slow down in the past several months, it has been kinda a blessing due to no more arguements. But I tell ya I get more pissed off at the darn caregiver. I had bought a brand new magazine and had laid it on the living room table. Next time I came over it was gone. I know my mom did not take it. I know the caregiver got into it, I could not find it anywhere, and I was writing a really long nasty list to the caregiver and then my mom found it stuffed between the couch and the bookcase...the caregiver. So I threw all my nasty notes away and just left a longwinded message to her supervisor. I told her to tell her to STOP touching anything that is not hers and leave everything in it's place. If you want to use something put it BACK where you found it. I hate wasting time after work or weekends reputting back the house...I have to reput back so many things...why can she not put them back exactly where I have things? So lets see if a talking to from her supervisor will HELP. I hate how she back mouths me...no there is no powder on the bathroom floor...I finally got fed up and wiped it all off myself...it was at the edges of the room at the tile crevices and on the toliet paper dispenser....yeah no nothing is on floor! I am going over there shortly....let's see what I find. My mom doesnt want her to get into trouble and I understand that...but her zannyness is driving me crazy. Sorry if I sound too ANAL and longwinded...lol!
deefer, thanks so much for the advise and stories about your mom. I went along with Mom when she asked me what my name was, and what her name was, etc. I see how making a big deal about it would be very upsetting to her. She DID call me by name last night. :))
SS, that is really all we can do is say "Lord, help me!" Yes, God is in control and he does understand. He knows what kind of a person you are and he knows what you are going through. You handle it with such grace. I really admire you for that. Alz is such a horrible disease. It's heart breaking. I'm sure you are a comfort to your dad. We're with ya, sweetie. :)
I'm tackling some paperwork, while waiting on annuity company to complete Probate's request, so I can finish my annual report, and be free of paperwork with them. SSA still waiting for report, which all hinges on them, as well, but they're all waiting for me to perform for them. No one understands the circus-like duplicity we have to face, on the bureaucratic level (including them), unless they've done it. I'm weary of it, and still have much basement cleaning to do myself. No wonder my dad couldn't keep up once the Alzheimer's kicked in (not that he was ever 100%). The court just demands, and doesn't understand, and neither do the other federal agencies. When they start pointing to family members, it's a complicated mess. Right, Austin?
Dad was sleeping when I visited, but opened his eyes, and smiled at me. That helped. He closed them again, so our visit was short. But I got some good news, they have decreased his anti-psychotic medications again. Since he's no longer resisting care, and no longer showing aggressive tendencies, they can relax the meds a bit. Poor soul, with life happening to him. It makes me grieve for his helplessness.
I tried telling him that I saw his sisters and brothers, by naming them one by one. He said "all of them?" I didn't tell him about his brother-in-law's funeral, just about seeing them. I cannot discern whether he understands anything I'm saying. CNAs don't help. They just seem to want to tell me the PC answers. Sickening process. Just give it to me straight. Between 'the system' and my family, I feel like I'm walking the gauntlet. Where to turn; who to trust? Ugh, aaaaaahhh! Sometimes the best I can do is say, "Lord, help me!" Trying to make sense of the mess seems futile. Ultimately, God is in control, and only he truly understands.
Miz, Mom gets me mixed up with my sister, calls me her mother, says "where's Kathy?", that's me, and has days where she thinks she's young again. She wakes up and says she just had a baby. I say I'm calling Oprah! Although it's sad when our parents no longer recognize us, it can be a blessing too. When I lose my patience with her, she calls me Eileen, my older sister's name. I told my sister when she comes for 3 weeks in July, to be prepared for Mom to remind her of being nasty to her, even though she hasn't seen her for a year! She thinks I'm her mother when I tuck her in at night, and wants to know why her friends are picking on her at school. Just go along with it. Don't take it personally, because she can't help it. It's all a part of the process. And yes, there will be times when she does know you. Take advantage of them. Bobbie, Good to see you have help. Can't imagine you having to go through all that cleaning on your own. I actually got to go out to eat with former co-workers from Old Sturbridge Village. Some I hadn't seen for a year. We had a nice time. Linda, Mom's Parkinson's sometimes causes her to have problems swallowing, but when she's hungry, she can scarf down anything without trouble. She seems to have the most trouble swallowing when she is having an anxiety attack. Hope your dad does well with the test. SS hang in there. You are doing all you can for your dad. Everyone have a great day!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I am glad some of you get what I mean about the caregiver rearranging things. Her supervisor is going to talk to her next Tuesday. Again when I came over there last night. The dish soap bottle is in the sink, not up on the counter, where I REPEATEDLY put it back. The butter tub was not put back and the box of butter was put there in it's place. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I PUT THE BUTTER TUB BACK in it's place she ALWAYS puts it back in a different spot. You would think by now she would put it back in the same spot I put it.
Harde.....wahhh I never heard about your camping trip...if you did already I missed it...please give me a quick summary...I am camping vicariously through you...lol!
I can't wait to go on a long outing or a trip...been waiting 11 1/2 years.
lhardebeck, I'm inclined to say to honor your pa's wishes. Unless the doc can talk him into it. It's a tough call. I guess if I didn't want to have some sort of test I would want my wishes honored. I don't know. Last time Mom had a complete physical her doc said he wasn't going to do it anymore. That it was too hard on her. lhardebeck, I know not having the tests done will be hard on you because maybe your pa could be helped if he got the tests. Hopefully others on here will have better insights than me.
love,
miz
dr called while ago said pa swallowing test shows theres something wrong . gotta go to throat nose ear specilist . then said for his pee yes theres a strong amount of amonia in there and wants him to see a speiclist for that one too . pa has turn them down few yrs ago and refusing to go . knowing they wanted to go up inside o f his penis to ck around and see what they can find . pa showed his teeth an dgrowled NO ! even when he was in hospital for uti and almost died of it i have ask for them to go ck it out while he was knocked out , they said oh well umm we do it in few weeks but never gave me any appt for it .
i dont know what to do . force dad to go have it tested or listen to him ? my daughter said oh mom u know its all about money . go here go there and poke more uhh go to another doc blahblah .
pa s done begin poked at . he wants to be left alone and willin to go dr for check up but not to be poked at . i dont know what to do . HELP !!
love,
miz
love,
miz
you know you can say anything you want. You just express your feelings and don't fret. What you're experiencing is really really tough and you know that I know.
Working our butts off, helper and me.
Finally filling pool and arranging back yard. Basement about 1/3 done, but most of the gross stuff has been removed.
you guys hang in there....
lovbob
s.s youre right this is a place to vent out . so miz you shouldnt feel bad about venting out , pourin ur heart out is good for you !
im down in the dump today too i wanted to go yard sales this morning but i cant go . hauling dad around yesterday was like lifting 140 pounds baby . too much for me .
down in the dump to hear somebody going off on a vacation and realy have a good time and im stuck at home . last weekend i went camping and it went by too damn fast for me to even remmy what i did ! .
zoom back home already felt like i havent left .
fruit flies are a nightmare they just keep muliplying . i have no clue how to getrid of it other than wait for winter to roll in .
wheres bobbie . need her here to put a smile on our face !
guess i ll go take a nap . maybe ill wake up and be in better mood . ya think ?
miz hope ur mom feels better after takin her nap . must be the hot weather that drained her out fast . xoxo
love,
miz
love,
miz
i would be getting rid of that powder .
hope u find u another merry or sara . :-)
deefer , glad u mention about powders ,
Poor Merry came at 11:00 and found me holding Mom's hands to keep her from pulling her pants down. She had a huge mess in them! So Merry had to help clean her while I held onto her hands so she wouldn't make things worse. The grossness never ends, it just gets worse!
Merry is a trooper and smiled through the whole process. She does not work for an agency, and will cook and do light housework. She does put things back where they came from, and often cooks meals for Mom when she is at her home.
If you have someone through an agency, check to make sure exactly what their duties are. Most of them do allow for light housework and cooking. They really should respect your area and put things back where they belong.
Pirate, Powder on the floor is a big cause for injury. If she must use so much on your mom, she should clean it up, or your mom's homeowner insurance might be paying compensation to the aide when she falls on the bathroom floor. I would definitely talk to the agency about her.
I understand completely about the caregiver. I feel like a visitor in my own home. I have to search for things constantly. I get so frustrated just trying to cook a meal at night since the caregiver of the day has put up the utensils, pots or casserole dish in the wrong place. I've started with a new agency recently but I'm still finding odd things. One doesn't know that the quilted side of the incontinence pad for the bed goes face-up. The other put my mothers bra on her inside out. And lastly, one thinks she should "organize" all my stuff in little boxes and plastic containers. I try to keep my cool because the intent is good, just not the right way.
Miz, I am sorry your mom didn't know you. My mom gets very confused if she is awakened when she is dozing in her recliner. She can go off on wild stories and ask where I am and stuff. I have to give her a little bit and she gets herself cleared up, or at least most of the time.
Bobbie, I am glad you are getting help with these tasks. I wish I had reliable help with all my projects. I complain about this, yet I am so fortunate compared to so many of you. My old mom is gone, but who sheis today is in much better condition than what so many of you are facing each day. I will keep you each in my prayers everyday.
My brother and his wife are in town so I have been taking mom to visit them each night since they are staying with their son this time. THat is why I haven't been online much lately. I try to read each night, but the last few nights I was just too tired.
Take care SS, Miz, Bobbie321, Bobbie, godhelpus, deefer, ihard and anyone I've left out. Be kind to yourselves and nuture yourselves like you do your loved ones.
Di
took pa to hosp for swallowing test . lady there said he did good ! i thoughtin back of my mind ure kiddin !
deefer , i agree with you i think thats whats wrong with my dad . sometimes i think its all for attention but then again maybe not . took him to china buffeet he was happy camper . ate and made a lit bit of noise . i told him before we went inside that we dont take him out to much cuz you make all kinds of noises ! lasttime we went we ha dto get him outta there before somebody calls 911 . told him plzzzzzzzzzzzzz dont do that in there . so he did ok but lit noise . not like the last time .
came home daughter , dad and i passed out for 3 hrs ! lord what a day .
then i had to leave again to go get grocries . i didnt want to do that with dad no way , takin him in the van and out of van is what drains us out .
go home and take a nap . :-)
you all have a good evening !
How are things? Yes I saw mom slow down in the past several months, it has been kinda a blessing due to no more arguements. But I tell ya I get more pissed off at the darn caregiver. I had bought a brand new magazine and had laid it on the living room table. Next time I came over it was gone. I know my mom did not take it. I know the caregiver got into it, I could not find it anywhere, and I was writing a really long nasty list to the caregiver and then my mom found it stuffed between the couch and the bookcase...the caregiver. So I threw all my nasty notes away and just left a longwinded message to her supervisor. I told her to tell her to STOP touching anything that is not hers and leave everything in it's place. If you want to use something put it BACK where you found it. I hate wasting time after work or weekends reputting back the house...I have to reput back so many things...why can she not put them back exactly where I have things? So lets see if a talking to from her supervisor will HELP. I hate how she back mouths me...no there is no powder on the bathroom floor...I finally got fed up and wiped it all off myself...it was at the edges of the room at the tile crevices and on the toliet paper dispenser....yeah no nothing is on floor! I am going over there shortly....let's see what I find. My mom doesnt want her to get into trouble and I understand that...but her zannyness is driving me crazy. Sorry if I sound too ANAL and longwinded...lol!
love,
miz
love,
miz
love,
miz
bob321, hope your cleaning is going well.
I'm tackling some paperwork, while waiting on annuity company to complete Probate's request, so I can finish my annual report, and be free of paperwork with them. SSA still waiting for report, which all hinges on them, as well, but they're all waiting for me to perform for them. No one understands the circus-like duplicity we have to face, on the bureaucratic level (including them), unless they've done it. I'm weary of it, and still have much basement cleaning to do myself. No wonder my dad couldn't keep up once the Alzheimer's kicked in (not that he was ever 100%). The court just demands, and doesn't understand, and neither do the other federal agencies. When they start pointing to family members, it's a complicated mess. Right, Austin?
Dad was sleeping when I visited, but opened his eyes, and smiled at me. That helped. He closed them again, so our visit was short. But I got some good news, they have decreased his anti-psychotic medications again. Since he's no longer resisting care, and no longer showing aggressive tendencies, they can relax the meds a bit. Poor soul, with life happening to him. It makes me grieve for his helplessness.
I tried telling him that I saw his sisters and brothers, by naming them one by one. He said "all of them?" I didn't tell him about his brother-in-law's funeral, just about seeing them. I cannot discern whether he understands anything I'm saying. CNAs don't help. They just seem to want to tell me the PC answers. Sickening process. Just give it to me straight. Between 'the system' and my family, I feel like I'm walking the gauntlet. Where to turn; who to trust? Ugh, aaaaaahhh! Sometimes the best I can do is say, "Lord, help me!" Trying to make sense of the mess seems futile. Ultimately, God is in control, and only he truly understands.
She thinks I'm her mother when I tuck her in at night, and wants to know why her friends are picking on her at school. Just go along with it. Don't take it personally, because she can't help it. It's all a part of the process.
And yes, there will be times when she does know you. Take advantage of them.
Bobbie, Good to see you have help. Can't imagine you having to go through all that cleaning on your own. I actually got to go out to eat with former co-workers from Old Sturbridge Village. Some I hadn't seen for a year. We had a nice time.
Linda, Mom's Parkinson's sometimes causes her to have problems swallowing, but when she's hungry, she can scarf down anything without trouble. She seems to have the most trouble swallowing when she is having an anxiety attack. Hope your dad does well with the test.
SS hang in there. You are doing all you can for your dad.
Everyone have a great day!