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After a different type of incident, I asked my husband to put childsafe locks (the ones that require a magnet to unlock) on our bathroom cabinets and locked our items in the cabinets. I have Mom's items in nice containers on the countertop so that she has no need to get into the cabinets. It has worked beautifully!
Sound Effects Bobbie 321, our thread idea sounds therapeutic. It's something that we all will experience, in some way or another. (Except for our deadbeat siblings, who distance themselves from the entire process.) I'd shy away from said thread, though, as some can become depressing and pathetic. Guess it depends on the content and focus. You are a terrific writing, though, and also very funny. Furthermore, sounds as if you've lived a very interesting life.
As for someone dying alone, I have a different perspective on that. I have read and heard many stories where the loved one dies after their family member leaves the room (as if by choice, to spare them).
It is commonly known that torment can be seen on the face of an individual who dies without God, facing eternal torment. I have heard and read many of those stories, as well. I do believe in life after death, but not reincarnation. We all will die. I believe in eternal life, as specified in God's Word.
Not everyone dies alone. Those who have a relationship with the living God, our Creator, who know him, talk to him, walk with him, and he with them, are never alone, even at their passing. For a saved, born-again individual, absent from the body means they become present with the Lord. I know, because I was lost, living for the devil, but now have a personal relationship with God. He was always there, but I didn't know him, and didn't always understand. He has promised to never forsake one of his own. You can trust his promises.
You say it is terrible to watch someone die alone with no one who cares. Well, if you watched it, they wouldn't be alone, would they? I don't think it's terrible. What is terrible is the way people treat one another while they are still alive. Neglect, abuse and self-interest is rampant. As for dying alone, I don't believe it. God sees all, knows all, and cares for his own. The saddest thing I know is for someone to reject him, to live for the devil, die, and go to hell. Now, that's a tragedy!
As for death, I am not afraid. I have believed the gospel, and know where I will live in eternity. I actually look forward to heaven, as it will be the end to tears, pain, and sorrow. I will live in a mansion, walking on streets of gold. I will walk daily praising my Saviour! I dream of the day. This life is temporal, and sometimes, I just want to fly away. I cope by KNOWING that I have eternal life, because I trusted that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life (as no man comes to the Father except by him). His Holy Spirit comforts me, and guides me daily, when I care to listen.
As for death, some will not see it, and were translated. What joy to die to this world, and see the face of the one who gave us life. What joy to escape the pain and misery of our earthly toils and troubles. I don't believe we are ever alone, but some are lost, eternally separated from God, by choice. Jesus died to save us, and waits for us to accept his finished work on the cross, and live eternally. There is no other way to heaven, as our works cannot save us from hell and the grave. Those of you who have trusted in him know what I mean, and those of you who haven't need to.
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our LORD. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. And whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
For me, death is not something to dread or fear, for I know that I will live with God in heaven eternally. You can know this too, if you believe.
I think that is an excellent idea. In our culture we do not talk about death and dying. In the old days the older person usually remained at home, death was a natural part of life, part of the cycle. Today, with all the life saving and life prolonging measures, (which is not a bad thing), we tend to avoid the subject. It is hard to watch a loved one die. I think that if people understood the process better that it wouldn't be so scary. It is such a blessing to the dying patient to have loved ones around, holding a hand, talking about the imortant things (when possible). It is terrible to watch someone die alone with no one who cares. Frequently, people die in a hospital bed with only medical personell to comfort them. How sad.
Linda you are amazing. There is no way that anyone would ever leave 6 kids with me. Not going to happen. I'm breaking out in hives just thinking about it. You are more capable than the guy that runs Wal Mart.
You write some funny stuff my friend. love you too.
Miz! Try the baby oatmeal. You can make a poutice with it and then when it's time to wash it off it will go liquid on you so no drain problems.
Hang in there Miz. I know you're having a tough one. Hang in there. We're coming.
I fell asleep when I got here and then just woke up and screwed up by drinking an Ensure. Good stuff but not at 1:30am. I feel like mowing the lawn or something.
Bobbi.... just call me Bob. everybody does. Yo Bob, Hey Bob, Bob on this... I've heard it all.
I do like sound effects. I lose it every time someone gets smacked in the nu!s on America's Funniest Videos and you hear that sound. It sounds like a big red fire alarm bell that you would wham with a ball peen hammer.
There was a store somewhere in Texas I think, when I was still on the road and they had a CRICKET WHISTLE. no kidding.
Man we had more fun with that thing. I was in the band at that time and if the act onstage wasn't getting any laughs we'd use the time tested, Warner Bros cartoons 'crickets' on them.
Got a question for you guys:
I just experienced my mother dying while I held her hand and looked into her eyes. Do you all think that it may be useful to start a thread about what we are all facing?are going to face?
man havin 5 grandkids here today whew im just glad my youngest daughter was here to help me . tmr im going to have 3grandkids all day long . i think i rather take care of pa than havin to take care of many grandkids , they wore me out !!! mamaw i wanna i wanna , turn my house upside down , had to tell them its mamaws house dont tear it up ! theythought they could eat and drink anywhere , nanana only at the kitchen table . then ha dto go to walmart to get lit bit of grocries 148 dollars plz . ugh !!! i looked at my daughter and told her if she wanna pay for this one , she said ugh no thank u . she knows its a tough tough world out there . pa s eating in bed now . i gonna get him up and move him around so hopefuly he ll get a blast out . its good to hear from u all again . welcome back bobbie321 . :-) poison ivy eeek , i have to get shots for them and smear those clear gel all over me . itchy itchy . tryin so hard not to get them in my eyes , nightmare !! ohyes steriod too . pop em pills and i go flying . rather be boating . float away /
Bobbie123(our names are confusing arent they?) Anyway, loved the idea of tooting the horn and wh whoopie cushion. Kind of makes you realize that some of the things that we fret over (being proper) in the long run don't make a hill of beans worth of difference. The world will not end if someone is not proper at all times. Our parents teach us so we know better. When I get to be that age i will certainly blow my nose, fart at the table if i want to!
Thanks, godhelpus. I will see if he will go for it. He does seem better today.
Well, as far as the patio furniture goes. Hubby went to Wal-Mart and apparently the mark down price is only good on-line. So ya have to order it on-line and they will get it to a store near you (where they already have them) and this takes like two weeks. So hubby said, screw it or something. :) He said the price could go down lower in that time so we will wait. I hope they don't run out of them cause they are very nice for the money. So, I had my nap. Unreal!! Not even the phone rang!! Slept for almost 2 hours I think. Got up and got an iced tea and sat down on the old patio furniture and lit up a smoke. Mom came out and there's brown stuff all over her top. We eventually go inside (I'm still not awake) and go to the bathroom and what a mess. (Second such mess in two days.) I don't know how it wasn't all over her hands but it wasn't. Ugh!! Don't think I want supper. Hubby and the two kitties are snoozin' on the bed. I want that boat and I want it now!! ;)
misunders, Chances are hubby will squak about this but he'll be glad if he does it. Take some oatmeal in a sock & get it wet. Sqwish the sock til it gets juicy & put the juice on the poison ivy affected areas. It's cool & soothing and acts to draw the poison out as it dries. Watch not to get in his eyes. My hubby had it all over some years ago and I made him take a bath in it. (Also good for severe sunburn). He was cranky but I read to him while he soaked & he was not as uncomfortable after. Hope it heals soon.
Maxine! good to see you! I love sunflowers and will be planting some here too. Might still get a few volunteers from last year.
Thank you all for sharing this experience with me. I keep crying and cried just about all the way back from Fl. I so wanted mama to have fun on the boat because she worked so hard.
I'm back at the house, and it is very sad being so empty. Nik is back in LA to be with his family and work and I have a lot of 'buttoning up' to do here. Another long list I've gotten myself into....
Christine, hi there and I don't know if I've ever said Hi there. Been nuts like the rest of us. Bobbi's got it with the go with the flow..... nice choice of words there Bobbi! love it. Your mom is going to continute to do gross stuff. I swear that sometimes you'll think that your skull is going to implode.
What's happening inside her brain is that the little connections that made her tell you not to blow your nose at the table are disconnecting. More and more of them will become disconnected and she will develop even more unusual behaviors. Make ya nuts? absolutely. Fight back with humor. Humor has saved our lives here. get a bike horn and the next time mom honks one out during dinner, toot the horn. Hell, get a whoopie cushion and everybody join in. Duck calls... doesn't matter, whatever you can get your hands on. Kazoos are good.
We used humor to make us all more comfortable with what we were all going through, including mom. She'd get to laughing about it too and it takes so much tension out of the situation. There will still be tension oh you know it but hey... you do what you can.
What is happening to your poor mom is progressive. things are going to get even more wierd. I'm not trying to freak you out, seriously, but you ain't seen nothing yet.
There are things i would change now in how I was the caregiver for my mom. I know more now and understand the disease better. It wasn't easy for her either because she knew there was a screw loose but didn't know where.
Please know that we're here for you and vent on!! It will make you feel less frustrated and whaddya think? At least try the Whoopie cushion....
The peace on the boat is unreal. You guys are going to love it. Let's just make plans like it's goinjg to happen and even if it doesn't because of some reason or another we'll just chalk another one up....I'll have to think up something else.
OK I would be bringing her up the east coast and can call in on anyone close to anywhere you can dock/moor a boat. It can be the Respite Boat.... caregivers come out and stay for as long as they can arrange to be away and talk and chow down and have fun, but most of all, get some peace.
There will be a USCG Captain in charge of the boat but he would be there to teach me so there could be funny stuff involved while I learn how to say: drop an anchor. Hopefully I will have remembered to have the anchor attached to the boat before sending it and a load of chain overboard.
It's good to see you Miz. Poor husband with the Poison Ivy. The stuff is the worst. Enjoy your new patio furniture. Sit out there and be on the boat baby.......
I guys Maxine here no news just checking my grand-daughter leaves to college tomarrow again only was home for 3 weeks her class is for 5 weeks and then will be back. I enjoy reading your post-it is comming up to a year since the husband passed away still have somepaper work to do. I have been working a lot in the yard and started a amall garden and have been planting lots of sunflowers and made a rock garden,
Wow, bobbie. That's so awesome. What a gift to you that mama dolphin and baby were!! It's so nice to hear from you. :)
I've been either too tired or too down or both to read the posts or post something myself. Hubby got poison ivy while trimming the hedge in the back yard. His eyelids are swollen and it's on his face, arms, torso, and elsewhere. Poor guy. He went to the doc and got a steroid shot and some meds. Wow, it's always something. He just left to get us some new patio furniture for the front porch marked down at Wal-Mart. What we have out there is old as the hills and rusted out and the cushions are duct taped where there are holes and tears. We spend lots of time out there especially in the morning before Mom gets up and on smoke breaks.
Mom is doing okay. I think we're all three depressed. I'm gonna try to take a nap pretty soon. We'll see how that goes.
My mom is the one that told me over and over that it's impolite to blow your nose at the dinner table. Now she's doing it constantly. I had a cold recently and got up several times to take care of my own. She asked my why I did that. So I told her, you're the one who taught me that it was impolite to blow your nose at the table. She still doesn't get it.
bobbie321, How wonderful for you!!!! God & your mom letting you know that all is well through the dolphins. He never ceases to amaze me. WOW!!!!!! What a treat! That'll be a keeper for the rest of our lives. Thanks. I'm impressed that you handle a 50+ footer! At what point does it stop being a boat and become a ship?? Thats a mighty big boat. Glad you had a couple of old salts to show you the moorings (ropes). Lhardebeck, Don't do this with your dad....but hubby wanted me to tell you about his rasin episode. He loves rasins and ate most of a big box one afternoon. Of course to wash them down he had a HUGE glass of water. Within half an hour his insides were roaring audibly "Aaarrrrhhhhggggggg". We looked at each other & in unison said "Uh Oh!". The results were quite violent so I would'nt suggest it for your dad. Hubby doesn't do that anymore!!!!
bobbie321 loved what you wrote. There for a minute as I was reading I felt at peace. I could just feel myself on that boat rocking back and forth with the wind blowing sun beating down on me. I had no worries for that one moment. That you for that wonderful story.
I can't wait to meet you on the Barbara Bee! Bobbie, your mom gave you a precious gift, and it will be a pleasure to share in your joy, hearing about all your adventures! Thanks for giving us pause, hope, and a part in your excitement. You are an extraordinary woman, and deserve every bit of your rest and reward. God bless you, dear sister. Happy sailing!
oh bobbie321 !! what a wonderful thing u wrote ! i like the end part where the dophine and her baby behind her . yes indeed ur momma was there ! proud of you my friend ! i would like one day to be able to ride in barabra b ,s boat . i think i can trust u to drive me around . wink . so u did all this by urself ? ur hubby done flew back home ? too bad he didnt stay and hangout in that boat with ya . maybe we;ll throw him to the dolphine and the baby , they;ll give him a piggy back ride . :-) we love u bobbie321 ! yes where is everybody ? pamela , tenn and SS . hope all is ok with them . gota grandkids a comin here in half hr i better get off this and zoom do dishes and laundry before i end up cant do them . have a good flight back home my dear friend . xoxo
OK: I've just skimmed the posts but I see that a lot of us still have our hands full and are working to exhaustion.
Linda: I'm telling ya: bean burritos followed by 2 big cups of Espresso roast. He'll get all awake and move around and deliver a Guinness World Record Log.
Deef: you angel. hang in. the boat's getting closer to you.
Bobbi and oliviajr and godhelpus: you guys are so helpful to everybody. I'm so glad you all are here.
Pirate! Thanks for the good thoughts and vibes and I'm telling you, you are FUNNY.
teristeve: more gross out stories please! (I'm telling one in a minute)
SS! you are an amazing angel and I gave a star on your post also. well said.
Miz! Tennessee! what'cho doing? Kelly? where are ya kid? Pamela? Crew Call!
OK. Right now I'm sitting in the West Palm Beach airport waiting to board to go home to nj.
I spent Monday and Tuesday on the boat. We took her through survey and sea trial and I actually drove her and didn't smack anything so that's a very good sign. The 2 Captains standing on either side of me knew right away that I was one of those you can say anything to so there was a good amount of chop busting as I learned to steer a 58' boat and deal with current, wind, channel markers, other boats and the fact that I was making S turns as i learned how not to over correct and wait for the boat to respond.
There was a big Catamaran behind us in the channel and he got on the horn and wanted to know if the 'Roughwater captain was drunk'. I had enough to do just holding onto the wheel and so one of the other guys answered and just said naw, we just got one working on her learner's permit.
I was told a few times by other folks that this boat is a 'man's boat' and of course I replied in that case it's a good thing that I have big enough Ba!!s to drive it.
My 2 Captains took me out to cocktails and dinner and told me no worries I was going to be fine. they told me all kinds of stories about when they've gotten themselves in the jackpot and I will too and that's one tough as nails boat and she'll handle it. Both of the have offered their services to 'teach me the boat' so it looks like I made a few new friends and they said they'd do it for free because then they get to have fun boat time. I told them about mama and how she kept telling me to 'go get the boat' and these tough guys and I sat there sobbing right in the middle of the restaurant. Mom's prayer card is at the helm right this minute, standing next to the Compass. I got her on the boat.
The owner of the boat is a sweetheart and let me stay aboard for the two nights I was in the area. Practically unheard of in boat brokering and my broker was amazed. i just said that women do business differently than men and that it will be ok.
I lay my head down and was asleep immediately. I only woke up when one of the caps came down and kicked the bunk and said, get the hell up! we're gonna miss the tide! He split and I jumped up and scared the crap out of myself having forgotten that there was a very large mirror on the wall opposite the bed. It took me a second to realize that the corpulent woman with her hair all on one side of her head was me.
I did manage to screw up one of the crappers first time out of the chute, so to speak. I was alone of the boat and here I am trying to fish out a duece from a marine toilet and get it to go away. The thought crossed my mind that if I was in the house or building and this happened, I would fix it but be all bummed out. A boat has a magic aura around it and things just aren't so bad.
OK, here's the miracle part.
I was sitting in the cockpit (back porch) and talking on the phone to my g/f Shanda in Cali and i starting crying again about mama and how she would have loved this and how hard I tried to get it to happen in her time, etc and I said and now mama's not here.
Shanda says: you Mother is indeed there. She is in your heart, your consciousness and all around you.
At that VERY second, not 18" off the swim step a Dolphin surfaced, LOOKED ME RIGHT IN THE EYES with that dolphin smile and dove smacking her flukes.... and right behind her was her baby.
I exhaled for what felt like the first time in 6 years.
Sailors: I'm working hard to make this happen. We will meet each other on the Barbara Bee.
thanks u guys . hope it doesnt rain waaa, hubby said if it does rain we shall go to hotel then , lol seems like indiana likes to rain on weekends , am hopin it dont next weekend . pa pooped some last night but i was expecting more than that . guess it'll come when it wants to . i dont think he knows how to grunt to force it out anymore . he s feelin pretty good today , said that he wants to go grocries shopping and then wanna go car shopping too . my dad loves cars . when i was growing up he had a yard full of cars , people thought they were for sale and stop and ask dad which one is for sale he tells them none of it . when i first met my husband he ask me which one do u drive ? i said all of em . :-) . i know we cant go car shopping , my bro will make sure of it cuz pa cant drive any more . i told dad that bro wont let ya buy a car he said oh he cant tell me what to do . he will forget about it once we get grocries full of food , i have to babysit 6 grandkids for about an hr or so , daughter in law has dr s appt and no need to bring 3 small todllers in there and my daughter has dentist appt and no need to bring her kids in there either . ahh ok bring em all over ! . this mamaw will love em all . be alot happier when they leave . whew , i dont know how i did it when i was young , now i get so stress out cuz once they get here they all scattered ! zoooom. have a good day .
Yes, yes. Care for the caregiver. & don't forget those vitamins!!!!! Get a little vitamin D from the sun if you can. No burns but a little is good for us.
I hope you have a wonderful time. Have a little (possibly a lot) of adult beverage, some laughter, good food, good friends, you'll feel like a new woman.
i talked to my bro , he s poa . i ve ask him about the medicaid and medicare . he said that dad is not qualitfy for medicaid cuz he makes too much money . i did have the home health nurse come in , they said that he s fine and doesnt qualitfy for those home health care . they ll come back if he has bed sores . i give up . thanks bobbi for ur help . ill just do what i can do . i have 3 kids they do come and give me a break if i ask for it . theyre pretty good about it . next weekend im going to be gone for a whole weekend , camping with bunch of my friends . :-) calgon take me away ! woohoo.
lil, there is help out there. If you contact your local department of social services and/or health department they can screen your father for community based, in-home support. If your father qualifies for medicaid, which he would being elderly/disabled the only other criteria he would need to meet is the financial piece. If qualified, you could receive at a minimum, respite (to give you a break), personal assistance, and other services. I urge you to look into help. There are also local agencies on aging etc. If you get sick and can't take care of your pa, then what? I do community based case management for a living. If you don't feel comfortable contacting agencies, let me know and I'll do it for you. Reply privately if you'd like some help.
oh yes beer s always good . pa used to drink once in a while . may just give him some tnite . yes i think i ll do that tnite is put him in bed and work those legs back and forth , i remmy therapy did that one time and my lord he realy made a mess. guess i shall do that tnite . he did poop a lit bit today but not as much , should been more than that .
bobbi , i cant get outside help , that cost money and cant afford it , i ll do it myself , force myself to do it . i ve been feeling tired and no motivavation here lately . need kick my butt and force myself to do it .
last night pa stayed up till 2 am . watching tv , kept askin him ready for bed , noooooooooo he says . ah well ok . i fell sleep on the couch but then again i kept hearing tv , so half sleep half awake , makin me drag today , hopefully tnite it be a good one , poop and sleep . :-)
lhardebeck, Just remembered. Beer works good too. If your family drinks at all. Wouldn't want you to go against a belief. I still have a couple now & then. Quite gentle in moderation & your dad may enjoy it. Just an idea. Hope all gets better quickly. I know its no treat for anyone, but worst case is always the dreaded enima. They come prepackaged now. I would sugest warming slightly first if you have to resort to that. Or just working his legs in bed is still exercise. Like a therapist....bring his knees up toward his chest slowly & one at a time repeatedly. Praying for you & hope you feel better too.
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As for someone dying alone, I have a different perspective on that. I have read and heard many stories where the loved one dies after their family member leaves the room (as if by choice, to spare them).
It is commonly known that torment can be seen on the face of an individual who dies without God, facing eternal torment. I have heard and read many of those stories, as well. I do believe in life after death, but not reincarnation. We all will die. I believe in eternal life, as specified in God's Word.
Not everyone dies alone. Those who have a relationship with the living God, our Creator, who know him, talk to him, walk with him, and he with them, are never alone, even at their passing. For a saved, born-again individual, absent from the body means they become present with the Lord. I know, because I was lost, living for the devil, but now have a personal relationship with God. He was always there, but I didn't know him, and didn't always understand. He has promised to never forsake one of his own. You can trust his promises.
You say it is terrible to watch someone die alone with no one who cares. Well, if you watched it, they wouldn't be alone, would they? I don't think it's terrible. What is terrible is the way people treat one another while they are still alive. Neglect, abuse and self-interest is rampant. As for dying alone, I don't believe it. God sees all, knows all, and cares for his own. The saddest thing I know is for someone to reject him, to live for the devil, die, and go to hell. Now, that's a tragedy!
As for death, I am not afraid. I have believed the gospel, and know where I will live in eternity. I actually look forward to heaven, as it will be the end to tears, pain, and sorrow. I will live in a mansion, walking on streets of gold. I will walk daily praising my Saviour! I dream of the day. This life is temporal, and sometimes, I just want to fly away. I cope by KNOWING that I have eternal life, because I trusted that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life (as no man comes to the Father except by him). His Holy Spirit comforts me, and guides me daily, when I care to listen.
As for death, some will not see it, and were translated. What joy to die to this world, and see the face of the one who gave us life. What joy to escape the pain and misery of our earthly toils and troubles. I don't believe we are ever alone, but some are lost, eternally separated from God, by choice. Jesus died to save us, and waits for us to accept his finished work on the cross, and live eternally. There is no other way to heaven, as our works cannot save us from hell and the grave. Those of you who have trusted in him know what I mean, and those of you who haven't need to.
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our LORD. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. And whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
For me, death is not something to dread or fear, for I know that I will live with God in heaven eternally. You can know this too, if you believe.
omg LOLOL.
Linda you are amazing. There is no way that anyone would ever leave 6 kids with me. Not going to happen. I'm breaking out in hives just thinking about it. You are more capable than the guy that runs Wal Mart.
You write some funny stuff my friend. love you too.
Miz! Try the baby oatmeal. You can make a poutice with it and then when it's time to wash it off it will go liquid on you so no drain problems.
Hang in there Miz. I know you're having a tough one. Hang in there. We're coming.
I fell asleep when I got here and then just woke up and screwed up by drinking an Ensure. Good stuff but not at 1:30am.
I feel like mowing the lawn or something.
Bobbi.... just call me Bob. everybody does.
Yo Bob, Hey Bob, Bob on this... I've heard it all.
I do like sound effects. I lose it every time someone gets smacked in the nu!s on America's Funniest Videos and you hear that sound.
It sounds like a big red fire alarm bell that you would wham with a ball peen hammer.
There was a store somewhere in Texas I think, when I was still on the road and they had a CRICKET WHISTLE. no kidding.
Man we had more fun with that thing. I was in the band at that time and if the act onstage wasn't getting any laughs we'd use the time tested, Warner Bros cartoons 'crickets' on them.
Got a question for you guys:
I just experienced my mother dying while I held her hand and looked into her eyes. Do you all think that it may be useful to start a thread about what we are all facing?are going to face?
lovbob
turn my house upside down , had to tell them its mamaws house dont tear it up ! theythought they could eat and drink anywhere , nanana only at the kitchen table .
then ha dto go to walmart to get lit bit of grocries 148 dollars plz . ugh !!!
i looked at my daughter and told her if she wanna pay for this one , she said ugh no thank u . she knows its a tough tough world out there .
pa s eating in bed now . i gonna get him up and move him around so hopefuly he ll get a blast out .
its good to hear from u all again . welcome back bobbie321 . :-)
poison ivy eeek , i have to get shots for them and smear those clear gel all over me . itchy itchy . tryin so hard not to get them in my eyes , nightmare !! ohyes steriod too . pop em pills and i go flying .
rather be boating . float away /
I'm ready for the boat. Where and when? Wrapping up things around here, and we're freeeeeeeeeeee!!
Well, as far as the patio furniture goes. Hubby went to Wal-Mart and apparently the mark down price is only good on-line. So ya have to order it on-line and they will get it to a store near you (where they already have them) and this takes like two weeks. So hubby said, screw it or something. :) He said the price could go down lower in that time so we will wait. I hope they don't run out of them cause they are very nice for the money. So, I had my nap. Unreal!! Not even the phone rang!! Slept for almost 2 hours I think. Got up and got an iced tea and sat down on the old patio furniture and lit up a smoke. Mom came out and there's brown stuff all over her top. We eventually go inside (I'm still not awake) and go to the bathroom and what a mess. (Second such mess in two days.) I don't know how it wasn't all over her hands but it wasn't. Ugh!! Don't think I want supper. Hubby and the two kitties are snoozin' on the bed. I want that boat and I want it now!! ;)
love,
miz
Chances are hubby will squak about this but he'll be glad if he does it. Take some oatmeal in a sock & get it wet. Sqwish the sock til it gets juicy & put the juice on the poison ivy affected areas. It's cool & soothing and acts to draw the poison out as it dries. Watch not to get in his eyes.
My hubby had it all over some years ago and I made him take a bath in it. (Also good for severe sunburn). He was cranky but I read to him while he soaked & he was not as uncomfortable after. Hope it heals soon.
Maxine! good to see you! I love sunflowers and will be planting some here too. Might still get a few volunteers from last year.
Thank you all for sharing this experience with me. I keep crying and cried just about all the way back from Fl. I so wanted mama to have fun on the boat because she worked so hard.
I'm back at the house, and it is very sad being so empty. Nik is back in LA to be with his family and work and I have a lot of 'buttoning up' to do here. Another long list I've gotten myself into....
Christine, hi there and I don't know if I've ever said Hi there. Been nuts like the rest of us. Bobbi's got it with the go with the flow..... nice choice of words there Bobbi! love it.
Your mom is going to continute to do gross stuff. I swear that sometimes you'll think that your skull is going to implode.
What's happening inside her brain is that the little connections that made her tell you not to blow your nose at the table are disconnecting.
More and more of them will become disconnected and she will develop even more unusual behaviors.
Make ya nuts? absolutely.
Fight back with humor. Humor has saved our lives here.
get a bike horn and the next time mom honks one out during dinner, toot the horn. Hell, get a whoopie cushion and everybody join in. Duck calls... doesn't matter, whatever you can get your hands on. Kazoos are good.
We used humor to make us all more comfortable with what we were all going through, including mom. She'd get to laughing about it too and it takes so much tension out of the situation. There will still be tension oh you know it but hey... you do what you can.
What is happening to your poor mom is progressive. things are going to get even more wierd. I'm not trying to freak you out, seriously, but you ain't seen nothing yet.
There are things i would change now in how I was the caregiver for my mom. I know more now and understand the disease better. It wasn't easy for her either because she knew there was a screw loose but didn't know where.
Please know that we're here for you and vent on!! It will make you feel less frustrated and whaddya think? At least try the Whoopie cushion....
The peace on the boat is unreal. You guys are going to love it. Let's just make plans like it's goinjg to happen and even if it doesn't because of some reason or another we'll just chalk another one up....I'll have to think up something else.
OK I would be bringing her up the east coast and can call in on anyone close to anywhere you can dock/moor a boat.
It can be the Respite Boat.... caregivers come out and stay for as long as they can arrange to be away and talk and chow down and have fun, but most of all, get some peace.
There will be a USCG Captain in charge of the boat but he would be there to teach me so there could be funny stuff involved while I learn how to say: drop an anchor. Hopefully I will have remembered to have the anchor attached to the boat before sending it and a load of chain overboard.
It's good to see you Miz. Poor husband with the Poison Ivy. The stuff is the worst.
Enjoy your new patio furniture. Sit out there and be on the boat baby.......
lovbob
I've been either too tired or too down or both to read the posts or post something myself. Hubby got poison ivy while trimming the hedge in the back yard. His eyelids are swollen and it's on his face, arms, torso, and elsewhere. Poor guy. He went to the doc and got a steroid shot and some meds. Wow, it's always something. He just left to get us some new patio furniture for the front porch marked down at Wal-Mart. What we have out there is old as the hills and rusted out and the cushions are duct taped where there are holes and tears. We spend lots of time out there especially in the morning before Mom gets up and on smoke breaks.
Mom is doing okay. I think we're all three depressed. I'm gonna try to take a nap pretty soon. We'll see how that goes.
Love and hugs to you all.
love,
miz
How wonderful for you!!!! God & your mom letting you know that all is well through the dolphins. He never ceases to amaze me. WOW!!!!!! What a treat! That'll be a keeper for the rest of our lives. Thanks.
I'm impressed that you handle a 50+ footer! At what point does it stop being a boat and become a ship?? Thats a mighty big boat. Glad you had a couple of old salts to show you the moorings (ropes).
Lhardebeck,
Don't do this with your dad....but hubby wanted me to tell you about his rasin episode. He loves rasins and ate most of a big box one afternoon. Of course to wash them down he had a HUGE glass of water. Within half an hour his insides were roaring audibly "Aaarrrrhhhhggggggg". We looked at each other & in unison said "Uh Oh!". The results were quite violent so I would'nt suggest it for your dad. Hubby doesn't do that anymore!!!!
proud of you my friend !
i would like one day to be able to ride in barabra b ,s boat . i think i can trust u to drive me around . wink .
so u did all this by urself ? ur hubby done flew back home ? too bad he didnt stay and hangout in that boat with ya . maybe we;ll throw him to the dolphine and the baby , they;ll give him a piggy back ride . :-)
we love u bobbie321 !
yes where is everybody ? pamela , tenn and SS . hope all is ok with them .
gota grandkids a comin here in half hr i better get off this and zoom do dishes and laundry before i end up cant do them .
have a good flight back home my dear friend . xoxo
OK: I've just skimmed the posts but I see that a lot of us still have our hands full and are working to exhaustion.
Linda: I'm telling ya: bean burritos followed by 2 big cups of Espresso roast. He'll get all awake and move around and deliver a Guinness World Record Log.
Deef: you angel. hang in. the boat's getting closer to you.
Bobbi and oliviajr and godhelpus: you guys are so helpful to everybody. I'm so glad you all are here.
Pirate! Thanks for the good thoughts and vibes and I'm telling you, you are FUNNY.
teristeve: more gross out stories please! (I'm telling one in a minute)
SS! you are an amazing angel and I gave a star on your post also. well said.
Miz! Tennessee! what'cho doing?
Kelly? where are ya kid? Pamela?
Crew Call!
OK. Right now I'm sitting in the West Palm Beach airport waiting to board to go home to nj.
I spent Monday and Tuesday on the boat. We took her through survey and sea trial and I actually drove her and didn't smack anything so that's a very good sign. The 2 Captains standing on either side of me knew right away that I was one of those you can say anything to so there was a good amount of chop busting as I learned to steer a 58' boat and deal with current, wind, channel markers, other boats and the fact that I was making S turns as i learned how not to over correct and wait for the boat to respond.
There was a big Catamaran behind us in the channel and he got on the horn and wanted to know if the 'Roughwater captain was drunk'. I had enough to do just holding onto the wheel and so one of the other guys answered and just said naw, we just got one working on her learner's permit.
I was told a few times by other folks that this boat is a 'man's boat' and of course I replied in that case it's a good thing that I have big enough Ba!!s to drive it.
My 2 Captains took me out to cocktails and dinner and told me no worries I was going to be fine. they told me all kinds of stories about when they've gotten themselves in the jackpot and I will too and that's one tough as nails boat and she'll handle it. Both of the have offered their services to 'teach me the boat' so it looks like I made a few new friends and they said they'd do it for free because then they get to have fun boat time.
I told them about mama and how she kept telling me to 'go get the boat' and these tough guys and I sat there sobbing right in the middle of the restaurant.
Mom's prayer card is at the helm right this minute, standing next to the Compass. I got her on the boat.
The owner of the boat is a sweetheart and let me stay aboard for the two nights I was in the area. Practically unheard of in boat brokering and my broker was amazed. i just said that women do business differently than men and that it will be ok.
I lay my head down and was asleep immediately. I only woke up when one of the caps came down and kicked the bunk and said, get the hell up! we're gonna miss the tide! He split and I jumped up and scared the crap out of myself having forgotten that there was a very large mirror on the wall opposite the bed. It took me a second to realize that the corpulent woman with her hair all on one side of her head was me.
I did manage to screw up one of the crappers first time out of the chute, so to speak. I was alone of the boat and here I am trying to fish out a duece from a marine toilet and get it to go away.
The thought crossed my mind that if I was in the house or building and this happened, I would fix it but be all bummed out. A boat has a magic aura around it and things just aren't so bad.
OK, here's the miracle part.
I was sitting in the cockpit (back porch) and talking on the phone to my g/f Shanda in Cali and i starting crying again about mama and how she would have loved this and how hard I tried to get it to happen in her time, etc and I said and now mama's not here.
Shanda says: you Mother is indeed there. She is in your heart, your consciousness and all around you.
At that VERY second, not 18" off the swim step a Dolphin surfaced, LOOKED ME RIGHT IN THE EYES with that dolphin smile and dove smacking her flukes.... and right behind her was her baby.
I exhaled for what felt like the first time in 6 years.
Sailors: I'm working hard to make this happen. We will meet each other on the Barbara Bee.
Much love to you all,
lovbob
pa pooped some last night but i was expecting more than that . guess it'll come when it wants to . i dont think he knows how to grunt to force it out anymore .
he s feelin pretty good today , said that he wants to go grocries shopping and then wanna go car shopping too . my dad loves cars . when i was growing up he had a yard full of cars , people thought they were for sale and stop and ask dad which one is for sale he tells them none of it .
when i first met my husband he ask me which one do u drive ? i said all of em . :-) .
i know we cant go car shopping , my bro will make sure of it cuz pa cant drive any more . i told dad that bro wont let ya buy a car he said oh he cant tell me what to do .
he will forget about it once we get grocries full of food , i have to babysit 6 grandkids for about an hr or so , daughter in law has dr s appt and no need to bring 3 small todllers in there and my daughter has dentist appt and no need to bring her kids in there either . ahh ok bring em all over ! .
this mamaw will love em all . be alot happier when they leave . whew ,
i dont know how i did it when i was young , now i get so stress out cuz once they get here they all scattered ! zoooom.
have a good day .
& don't forget those vitamins!!!!!
Get a little vitamin D from the sun if you can. No burns but a little is good for us.
i did have the home health nurse come in , they said that he s fine and doesnt qualitfy for those home health care . they ll come back if he has bed sores .
i give up . thanks bobbi for ur help . ill just do what i can do . i have 3 kids they do come and give me a break if i ask for it . theyre pretty good about it .
next weekend im going to be gone for a whole weekend , camping with bunch of my friends . :-) calgon take me away ! woohoo.
yes i think i ll do that tnite is put him in bed and work those legs back and forth , i remmy therapy did that one time and my lord he realy made a mess. guess i shall do that tnite .
he did poop a lit bit today but not as much , should been more than that .
bobbi , i cant get outside help , that cost money and cant afford it , i ll do it myself , force myself to do it . i ve been feeling tired and no motivavation here lately . need kick my butt and force myself to do it .
last night pa stayed up till 2 am . watching tv , kept askin him ready for bed , noooooooooo he says . ah well ok . i fell sleep on the couch but then again i kept hearing tv , so half sleep half awake , makin me drag today , hopefully tnite it be a good one , poop and sleep .
:-)
Just remembered. Beer works good too. If your family drinks at all. Wouldn't want you to go against a belief. I still have a couple now & then. Quite gentle in moderation & your dad may enjoy it. Just an idea. Hope all gets better quickly.
I know its no treat for anyone, but worst case is always the dreaded enima. They come prepackaged now. I would sugest warming slightly first if you have to resort to that.
Or just working his legs in bed is still exercise. Like a therapist....bring his knees up toward his chest slowly & one at a time repeatedly.
Praying for you & hope you feel better too.