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Hello my Sailors and For those who asked:

Services will be at Sweeney's funeral Home, 337 Bridgeboro Street
Riverside, NJ 08075-3204
(856) 461-1116

We'll have a viewing Fri night, June 4, from 6p to 8p and then the memorial service Saturday, june 5 at 10a and then on to lay her down next to my beloved daddy.

They asked me who I wanted to 'officiate'. i couldn't think of anyone who knew my mom better than me so I'll do it. Of course I'll cry but so what. I want the folks to be able to share stories about this amazing lady and express their love that way instead of listening to some person who didn't even know her drone on and drive everyone nuts.

lovbob
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Bobbie, you are an amazing woman! You add to my days. So do a lot of you other women, and I thank you all. Hopefully we're all learning something here...
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CHATTER with your husband.

I've got to quit typing in the dark.

lovbob
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Thank you Sailors.

So sad about SS's dad but happy he was able to go and watch tv and shatter with your husband.

Oliviajr, ow about the fall. I understand what you want to do and I send you all my love and prayers that you can pull it off. I had to get full time help because I could not do it alone.

Linda, your poor pa and his teeth. Nothing can hurt like teeth. i hope he feels better soon.
Love you a lot and hug your dads for me.

lovbob
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Bobbie, thank God your man pulled through for you. Denial and shock and grief does some strange things, doesn't it? My prayers will continue to be with you during your mourning. I'm glad Sara is there with you, so you're not all alone.

Linda, their teeth move still. So, even at 90, my FIL has problems. And he has dentures, too, but the jaw moves. Bummer, huh?

Oliviajr, yes, the disease is a nasty one. Sorry to hear about the fall. Hope all will be well, with some time and healing. We just can't prevent falls, unless we are there every second. Still, stuff happens. We can't control everything.

My dad was dressed when we visited. In bed, but had his clothes on. They say he went to supper. And he even went for a walk with us, and down to watch TV. YEAH!!! He doesn't look great, but he walked with me. The smile is missing, and so's the glint in his eyes, but he chattered to my hubby. We could NOT understand a thing he was saying. So weird! I get so depressed seeing those pitiful people at the nursing home. Every day we see someone decline, and sometimes they pass away... Aging is not for sissies, and neither is watching it.
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So glad he came to his senses Bobbie you need him now.
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awww am happy to hear this . now we wont have to kick his hindend off the boat .
now its great to hear you ll be going back home in a better feelings toward ur man . thank u jesus .
pa s whiney cuz his teeth hurts , time to haul him back to dentist , i dont understand the dentist pulled all but 6 bottom teeth many years ago , now he s havin pblms with 6 bottom teeth , geeze at his age going to dentist with mouth wide open and waaaaaaaaaaaa. hate to give him xannax cuz he cant get in the van or out of the van let alone put him in dentist chair ! oh mygosh , my nightmare s a comin real soon . few mos ago he got a new upper false teeth , and few cavities filled and now he needs to go back . oh boy ...
bobbie hang in there , soon it'll all be over and you;ll have a new life ahead of u . a new cycle . xoxo
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SS
Sorry about your father. I hate the diease so much myslef. I had went outside today for a few minutes and when I came in found my mom inher room on the floor. She had fell but did not know how she fell. Wasn't sure what to do so I am keeping her at home and just watching her. She has gone thru every part of her left side hurting. Besides what can the hospital do. Because I am like bobbie I would like my mom to be at home with me when it is her time to go.
God bless to all
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You guys are the best! He must have heard you all because he just now called me and told me that he will be here! He apologized for his actions and said (about himself): Sometimes I'm such a douche and I'm sorry.

I feel so much better because like Linda said, it would have never been the same again and I was ready to be alone afterwards than to be with someone who left me alone when I needed him.

this is indeed an emotional roller coaster and thanks Sailors for your support. His ears must have been ringin all the way out there in Cali because he's 'on board' now complete with apologies and him saying about himself: 'what's wrong with me that I would say that to you?'

I actually thought about telling him to call up Tennessee's daughter and she could tell him precisely where the problem lay!

Grief hits in different ways and like I said he was very good to my mom and maybe that might have been part of it... straight up denial that she's gone. I forgive him because he's going to do the right thing, but boy... I was ready to set sail alone!

Ya'll are a family to me and thanks once again for your support. It seems like he's back in his right mind and he will stand beside me and mom. Whew. could have done without that little drama.

Sara and I are alone in the house and we've both been sleeping because the last few days were so awful and exhausting. I'm so sad I keep going into mom's room and laying on her bed and hugging her pillow and crying.

Ow. my mama is gone.

Thank you my sisters and little sister too for being here for me. omg I hope I can be there for you guys too. I know that you all are going through the trials of Hades and please know that I think of you all constantly and look forward to seeing us all together in the future.

with all my love,
Bobbie
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wow . id say we kick his hindend over board ! feed it to the sharks !
i am so sorry bobbie321 . husband and wife s suppose to be together on times like this .
remebere that we are there for you . in ur mind u just picture us all there by urside ok .
after when all this is over and you go back home to ur husband i hope and pray that there wont be any conflits , i know in my heart it wont be the same . youre gonna need a good close friend to lean on . plz remeber us all ur sailors .
bless your heart ! we love you bobbie ! xoxoxo
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Tenn, my son is not a colored belt yet, as he's only had a few lessons. He likes it, but the belt colors will come later. How about your daughter?
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Bobbie, that is incredible...that your SO should show his colors at this time. What a creep! So sorry for you, my friend. Wish I could be there for you this minute. Wow, it almost baffles the mind.
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I'm sorry, bobbie, but that's inexcusable. He should be right there by your side helping you through ALL of this. Men are so damn weak sometimes...or something else. I'm so sorry he's being this way. Love ya.

miz
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Bobbie, that is f---- up.I know my daughter got bashed [by some] for using the word selfish,but that is beyond selfish.Again some people do not know how to do the right thing for family,Is work the excuse?
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Hello Sailors,

I just got off the phone with my Significant Other and he informed me that he will not be attending my mom's funeral. (I pay for tix) When I said, Gee that's ok, my then husband in '93 didn't come to my dad's funeral either, my SO said 'I'm not going to be guilted into it.'
Wow. The hits keep on coming. Mom has been dead for not even 28 hours and this is how he treats me. I am so sad to begin with mama dying, my aunt/birthmother being a b!!ch to me and now this.
I guess that this is a season of losses and I just have to suck it up and deal.
I'm so retarded i actually thought that your husband stands next to you when you suffer a loss. Silly me.

Thank all of you for your beautiful hugs on my wall. You caregivers are more family to me than anyone I know and I truly am grateful that I have come to know you all. I would love to know you all better and meet SS's son and Tennessee's daughter and all the rest of the Barbara Bee's crew. We will sail together soon.

Stay strong and I'm trying to take my own advice here but man, I didn't expect this one. I told him 2 weeks ago that I would need him so badly when it happened but I guess it doesn't matter now. He was good to mom and that is what I will choose to remember.

thanks for listening,

lovbob
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Booobbbbbiiiieeeeeee --- gosh you got me crying again....and that's tough at work...fighting back tears. I just called over at mom's to check up on her and going after work. It is tough to seem them decline...but what I keep telling myself..that is the way of life and it comes to every living thing. We have to do the best we can.

Tenn....your sister should have been coming all along...I don't understand people who don't want anything to do with their folks...even if they were not the best of friends. I can see some that had seriously abusive parents and not wanting anything to do with them, but that's another story. I would feel awfully guilty if I was not there for my parents in the end.
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SS did I hear you say your SISTER is coming? Wow that may be a good thing.
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I'm sorry that your dad is not bouncing back as you have hoped,but never say never.I hate cancer and lawyers,but your commit about your dad being so much younger than your father- in- law is kinda how it was with me.My mate barely in his 40's passed away before my dad in his 80's,no one saw that one coming,he was the healthest looking one of every body,never missed work, never had a cold,never was sick,not over weight,didn',t smoke,did yoga,worked out,seemed to be fit as a fiddle, then that wretched cancer ruined everything. I hope your sister will be a positive instead of more stress.I'm sure your son is your best stress relief,mine is-a little joy that keeps on giving. Some people think without the bad, one couldn't appreciate the good,that it some how is a balance of nature,I think about that quiet a bit. We're off to taekwondo,not karate, daughter told me its not the same thing and correct the information I gave you earlier.What belt is your son at.I hope your dad improves.
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SS, I'm so sorry about your dad. It IS heartbreaking. You're a good daughter to be there for him even though it is so difficult. I know you wouldn't do it any other way because you are a kind and gentle person. You're right. Your sister needs to see your dad and see what you have been dealing with. I'm so glad we have this site to express our sadness and frustrations. Love you, sweetie. Hang in there.

love,
miz
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I just left dad at the nursing home, and I am choking back sobs. He didn't get up for breakfast. He was still in his pajamas at noon, and shows no sign of doing anything but laying around and sleeping. Actually, he was sitting up when I got there, but lay down not long after. He tried to speak, but the sentences are so garbled, and not an intelligible sound comes out. Waaaaa. My FIL is just down the hall, and doing better at 90 than my dad at 77. Seems dad is just not going to bounce back after his recent fall the other day. I tried to have conversation with him, and he just shakes his head, sometimes yes, sometimes no. I told him, pointing to me, then to him, I love you. I held his hand. I asked if he wanted to get up and go to lunch. Clearly that won't be happening. I asked him to go for a ride in my car with me. That will probably never happen again.

Watching them decline is heartbreaking. I left feeling quite numb. I hate Alzheimer's. Rumor has it that my sister will be here this weekend, for the first time in a year. Good. She needs to see how he's doing. Ever heard of the book, "The Long Goodbye"? That's what I feel we're doing...and watching it right before our eyes. This is so hard.
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Bobbie, praying the boat is a comfort to you, ~her last gift. You deserve every good thing. Will keep you in prayer as you adjust. Many hugs for you.
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Thank you my dear dear friends.

I will know the time and place tomorrow and I will let you all know.

Your words have brought me great comfort and I will continue to post here because what we all have learned we know that we must share with others who are facing the same challenges.

I will be here for you as you all have been here for me. I thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

Mama died in peace and not in pain and one day I will tell the whole story when we are on her namesake boat. A beautiful symbol of her love.

My mama is gone and I am still in shock and can't stop crying.

lovbob
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In God's hand and under his wing. May He send you an endless supply of comfort and grace.
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Bobbie, I just read about your mother. I'm so sorry for your loss, I know you are heartbroken. Being with her at the end is something you will never forget. You got to say goodbye and that will always be special. My prayers are with you.
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Bobbie I am so sorry for your loss and very glad you were there with her for her passing God bless keep in touch
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Bobbie, So sorry for your loss. You did the right thing by bringing her home. Remember, we are all here for you. Take care!
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Bobbie,
I have not been on this site for very long but ebery time I read about you and your mom it was like I had just read a wonderful story and now it has had a wonderful new beginning for her. You bid her good-bye but just for a while and she will be able to greet you when you join her someday!
What a wonderful journey you had and I really admire your strength, determination and perseverance, Hugs to you!
Love,
Teri
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Bobbie

I was so incredibly saddened to hear about your mother's passing. I know there is nothing I can say right now to comfort you in your grief. Your mom knew it was soon why she made you get the boat. She wanted you to have something to focus on and to find comfort in. She was preparing you for what she felt. She was very grateful for your bringing her home and her preparing you was her way to thank you. The Barbara B will be you tangible memorial to you mother.

You are a wonderful person and you gave your mother the best gift of all, her home to die in with dignity and your love.

We will all be here for you when you are ready.

Diane
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oh bobbie321 , im bawling ! i kept thinkin she be like dad , be sickone day and be well next day . i am so so sorry for ur loss !
im huging u right now long and hard big bear hug ! so so sorry .
i gotta go i cant even read , im bawlin so hard . xoxoxoxox
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Dear Bobbie,
I am indeed sorry to hear of your loss. I hope that you can take comfort in the fact that you were not only there for your mom's passing, but there for her living as well. I can only imagine how hard it was for you. Take care of yourself.
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