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one time my dad was layin up in a hammock and he farted and I said, 'did you say something?' and he said, 'I was callin your name.'
I was about 11 and thought that was the funniest thing I had ever heard.
When mom could still walk, sometimes she would poot poot. I'd say, 'you step on a duck?' and she'd say, 'yup.' 'Barking spiders?' 'yup.' 'Government on the phone?' 'yup.'
Love to all of you amazing caregivers and Amy! thanks again for the hug. SS, you must be so happy with your son. What piece did he play at his recital?
Amy: I think the boat has some kind of horn because you have to in fog conditions but maybe I can get a whopper off of a train or something. I am fairly confident that the Coast Guard would frown on that, but fun to talk about. Some container ship thinks there's a locomotive behind them and it's me in my dingy sized floating clown show. Blow the horn and the boat slows down. Too much horn.
Mom has been alert for a few hours and playing with her pretty napkins. Sara keeps feeding her and changing her and tomorrow we're going to try to sit on the edge of the bed and test her legs.
BTW, my mom chews the meat and won't swallow it either. I just told her, no problem. You got the good part out. Have some cow and get some B vitamins out of the deal. I'm happy she's chewing. sometimes I think that the reason they spit it out is that they know intuitively that it's supposed to go somewhere and swallowing it is not the first thing they think of.
What is it that they call the stuff the Owl pukes up? They did a big show on it on the Discovery Channel or some such. The Owl nabs a mouse and swallows it whole and digests everything but the hair and bones which it upchucks and leaves for people to find and reassemble the mouse in biology class. Why not? all the parts are there. Owl balls or pellets or something. Some people make a living finding Owl balls and selling them to the schools. Your tax dollars at work.
Man, only on the Grossed out thread can we start with a fart and wind up with Owl balls.
Deefer, I have not yet had the pleasure of cleaning up Mom's vomit. She did it one time when the CNA was here and I was not. I think I could handle the poop better than vomit though. Nasty!!!! Kinda like I rather hear her fart than belch. :) Poor Mom. She would have been appalled at herself back when she was herself.
JM Watson you are so right. I am soooo glad I still have my mother and I am hoping and praying that when it is my turn to go that the good Lord looks down on me and saves me from this horrible diease called dimentia. But you know sometimes you just have to laugh at some of the stuff that they do to keep from crying or losing your mind.
Those are all sad situations. My mom would chew her meat and suck all of the juices out of it. She never swallowed, just took the meat outof mouth and placed on her plate. They were perfectly formed "meatballs" as we named them. It was terrible but I would give anything to have her here with me again, and me having to rake her meatballs into the trash. Just remember that we will go that way too if the Lord is willing.
OMG Deefer I am with you all the way. I gag so bad I will throw up. But so far I haven't had to deal with that, I just have the poop to deal with. I am ok in the afternoon with it but first thing in the morning I have a horrible time. See I don't have kids so I don't have that experience behind me.
giles167, Yes she uses the T-brush to brush her hair. I just hope she doesn't get them mixed up!!! But then I have to wonder where she got the idea in the first place if she didn't use the REAL T-BRUSH first!!! You'd also be AMAZED at what she can do with hands that don't work anymore!!! I'm astonished on a regulat basis. My mom isn't high-brow as much as she likes humiliating me. That is her favorite passtime and I see no signs of it going boring for her. We must amuse the queen!!!
Oh Deefer, my condolences. I have a semi high tolerance for puke and poop but NOT while I'm eating dinner! I can get myself through cleaning messes like that but I can't bring myself to touch anything or function properly until I go and get a quick shower to scrub. I don't feel clean until I've scubbed myself raw clear up to my elbows. lol. My weakness is oozy wounds. Luckily, I haven't had to deal with anything like that with grandma.
Deefer, congrats on the claim going through. And none too soon I'm sure! That has to be a little reassuring to know that you don't have to worry about the money aspect of it and taking it out of your own pocket anymore. That's great. Yes, grandma has parkinsons but the spells happen at all times of the day. Usually the later half of the day but sometimes at supper, sometimes middle of the night. Who knows. As far as not taking her meds, I'm pretty sure the girls at her care home have tried everything. They tried them in a spoon of applesauce and she sucked the applesauce from around them and spit them out. They tried grinding them in the blender and mixing them in jello. I saw them trying to give them to her grinded up with something else too that almost looked like it made a paste and I have to say that I can't blame her for not wanting to take that but she's being impossible. Hoped she'd wake up in a better mood this morning and it would all be behind us but she woke in the same mood as yesterday. When I called in this morning they told me that telling people to "go to He$%" is apparently her new favorite saying. Isn't that just glorious! Her doc was to stop in to examine her today as a followup of her most recent ER visit. Hopefully he talked some sense into her but I somehow doubt it. I'm not so sure that this is a new occurrance. She's never refused taking her pills before and was actually pretty obssessed with taking them but when they took her sling off of her arm in the ER Saturday night, her paxil and a few other pills fell out. I informed the nurses and aides there that they will have to actually WATCH her take them to make sure and now all of a sudden she's refusing. I think she was just nonchelantly dumping them into her sling lately. Which could possibly account for the spells and the extra aggitation but without knowing how long she's been doing it, it's hard to say.
godhelpus, she really IS ingenius! The toilet brush thing sounds like something my grandmother would do behind closed doors. She fancies herself too high-brow to let anyone know she'd do something like that but she would. So does she attach the toilet brush to her brush to get a longer handle or does she just brush her hair with the toilet brush? I love it! Don't start worrying til she tries it to brush her teeth with it! haha.
SS, hope you have a great evening at your son's recital. You must be SO proud! I get so emotional at my daughters gymnastics and cheerleading recitals that I tear up and get all weepy. My husband just looks at me and shakes his head.
Yuck!!! My worst nightmare just came true!! Mom had been telling the aide that she felt like she was going to throw up. This was going on all afternoon. She does this occasionally because of her meds, but gets through it if you give her something to eat. Well, I guess she ate all afternoon, because when I gave her dinner, she let loose on her plate, in her lap, and all over her wheelchair!! Yikes!!! I can clean mounds of s!!!T, but cannot stomach when someone vomits! I kept giving her paper towels and telling her to wipe it up, while I was in the next room gagging my brains out. Even when my daughter was little, I couldn't help her if she was vomiting. Does anyone else have this problem? I took her pants off inside out so I wouldn't have to look at them, and put something on top of the wheelchair while I unscrewed the seat so that I could throw it in the washer. Wouldn't you know she waited until the aide had left for the day. Then she told me"there! I told you I had to throw up!" Maybe I'm making more of this than I should, but I sure hope I don't have to see that again!!! Triple gross!!!!
Deefer, doc saw dad today. No one knew what happened when he fell. He's getting xrays, b/c he walks with a limp. And a back-up wheelchair b/c he can't walk far. He's also getting Restorative Therapy, two-person assistance with walking, then dental work. I was a good advocate today. He wouldn't get out of bed when I got there, and just closed his eyes, after a smile. Will keep checking on him. They said he ate a good breakfast.
Sorry, gotta run to my 9 year old's piano recital. Will post some more later, for all you wonderful caregiving ladies. Thanks for your input and suggestions; especially for your prayers. Love to all!
New to the site. Hope you can get a giggle from this: Mom can't/won't lift her arms above her shoulders (keeps her from having to hang up her clothing); therefore needs an extension on her brush handle. She fancies herself an "inventor" and decided a TOILET BRUSH would do the job. She went to the hardware store with our carehelper and Tried them out before she found the RIGHT ONE. Oddly enough the one she picked out looks just like her TOILET BRUSH!!! Meanwhile.... I'm trying to keep them separated....the non toilet brush is in the other room....Just glad I wasn't at the hardware store. I tried to warn our carehelper about taking her shopping!
Hey everyone! I'm a little behind and just read all of your recent posts. SS, did your dad hit his head? It's a really good idea to get him to the doctor. He could have done some damage during the fall. Hope he's okay. Pirate, At least take some time away from the b/f and get yourself some rest. it may give you a better perspective on the situation. And by the way, all men have the "asshole gene". Some just let it show more than others! Giles, Does your grandma have Parkinsons? She could be having "off" moments when her meds get low. This would make her unresponsive and out there! When she won't take her meds, distract her from the task, then give her the pills in applesauce or ice cream, or my mom's favorite, whipped cream from the can! When they don't want to do something, it just gets worse the more you try! Dtflex, If I remember correctly, you feel your mom is playing you, even though she has dementia. You are absolutely right! Mom has been doing that to me for 4 years and denies it to this day. But every now and then she will say something to one of my siblings that confirms she is trying to get to me for attention. Does your mom have Parkinsons besides the dementia? Reflux is from the meds if she does. The dementia, anxiety and depression are all made worse by the disease. And the OCD, let's not even go there! The neurologist finally put Mom on Seroquel, and it calms her down considerably. I know they say not to give it to the elderly with dementia, but things can't get any worse than they are without it. As for the reflux, find a daily antacid with famatodine. The pharmacist told me this will not interfere with anti anxiety and depression meds. Mom takes Paxil 30mg in the morning, Zanax .25mg 3 times a day, Seroquel 25mg when the OCD starts to get nasty, and a remeron 15 mg at night to help her sleep. Then there are her 2 parkinson's meds and Aricept. This sounds like a lot, but after 2 years of trying different depression meds and doses, this combo seems to finally work. It's really hard to get the right combo of meds for a person who can't really explain what's happening to them. Now I will leave you all on a grand note. Mom's long term care insurance claim was finally ok'd and there are 2 checks on the way for $4000 to reimburse her for the unused premiums and money payed out for home care!!!! Merry can now work for us 30+ hours a week and the insurance will pay for it up to $92,000. That gives Mom a few more years at home, if we can still handle her. I don't know what made Mom take on this insurance 10 years ago, but it just may buy her enough time to stay in her own home until she know longer knows where she is. Now maybe I can get to some much needed housework, yard work, and most especially, POOL TIME!!! Take care everyone!
Hey Bobbie, I saw the Barbara B is in Vero Beach. Does that mean you have to go and get it and sail it home or do they deliver it to you? Not knowing much about boats myself, I never thought about how involved it is in purchasing one. Wow, you keep your plate full, don't you! haha. When I was really little, we had a house in Rehobeth, DE. It had a canal that went through the development so that everyone could dock their boat in the back yard. Good memories. I took the Ferry once but I've never been on a boat as big as yours. Bet she sails smooth. I hope your able to get your mom out for a spin in the near future. I can almost see her eyes getting huge and the grin on her face! So awesome!
Your grandmother sounds a little bit like my mom. When they get something in there head that they are not going to do there is nothing you can do to change there mind. But kids are amazing.
Bobbie, I hereby help you christen the Barbara B, with prayers, since I have no champagne. May she always sail smoothly.
Amy is right, he hears your prayers. Nice to know someone is praying with me for all the ladies here, and their loved ones. Linda, thank you for your kind words of comfort.
Piratess, we're supportive of whatever you need to do. I'm in a "been there, done that position," and can only tolerate so much from creeps. Had more than my share of entanglement with jerks, and it's NOT fun. Then I prayed, and God sent a steady. He isn't perfect, though none are, but some are better than others.
Yes, grieving happens at all levels, and it doesn't feel pleasant. There is no guidebook for it, but prayer does help. Some things are just beyond comprehension, so I try not to dwell on them.
I'm heading to the nursing home today to advocate for my dad. The pupils in his eyes and the dullness show his distress. Could be part of the fall he experienced, or...? He is just not his perkey self...and that's disturbing. Unfortunately, I think there's more of that in his future, :( along with other unpleasantness.
Thanks for starting this thread, Bobbie. It's been a great place to share and vent and connect. Hoping that boat works the same way some day. I'll walk down to the harbor to greet you, and invite you up for some refreshment. Looking forward to the day. Let's exchange contact info. In the meantime, happy dreaming!
Bobbie,Glad you found the right boat;It took me a year of research and education to find Jeff also, and he was surveyed and sea trailed too and he did just great,he was definitely configured to serve my needs on land and sea,we even got a little girl out of the deal. Just messing with ya..........why do they call boats her and she ;are there any man boats. I don't know much about boats Tennessee is not a boating capital,we have to drive about 9 hours to see any major vessels. Would it be o.k. to call your boat B.B. for short. As you well know,I would like to honour my dad around here in some way,haven't fiqured out what it will be yet.I think having a boat named after your mom is a great honour.
PirateGal, it looks to me like you have some choices to make. You can either stick with this dude and continue the same old same old (you are not going to change him, you don't have that power. You can only change yourself), or you can tell him that this isn't working for you, wish him well and send him on his way. It's going to be up to you to make the change. I guess the question is why do you continue to go through this. You should miserable. Not getting proper sleep is a big issue and will take it's toll over time with both physical and emotional ailments. Guess it's up to you to decide when enough is enough.
pa is still awake ! all night i ask him , ready for bed , noooooo , i slept on the couch but didnt realy sleep well . u ready for bed /? its 2 am , nooooo he says . well heck when is he ever gonna be ready FOR BED ? he s a watching tv , glued to tv and its 6 am now , still glued to tv since yesterday 930 am !! i dont understand it . he would have his moments when he doesnt sleep for 2 days then after that he s like a dead man . weak as heck and sleeping too much . cant sleep so i get on gross out threads , i love you ladies ! makes me wish i could just come over and knock on ur door and better yet go sailing ! it s so great that we all could get on here and make friends .
bobbie321 you need a good friend to come over and spend a whole day with you . ure heartbroken and could use some company . drink some good ole wine and talk about the boat . giles , i didnt realize you have a lit girl . what a sweetheart , i have 3 granddaughters all under age of 4 . theyre a blessing ! u sure do have ur hands full . may the jesus guide you thru . s,s. a, sorry to hear ur pa s not getting any better . maybe he;ll snap out of it and be feeling good again . my pa does that . sure hurts deep inside to see our parents a failing . then i think wow am i gonna be like that too ?
hope today brings us good day . my oldest daughters suppose to come out today and im going to give her bunch starts of flowers . have a good day ladies , be thinking about u all . ill get us a favorite plant for the boat , :-)
Don't worry Bobbie. He's right there with you everyday. He hears and sees every tear that drops. Even when all you want to do is crawl in a hole and disappear, He's the one that gives you the strength to get back out of bed each morning, put on your happy mask, and bravely face whatever each new day might bring. Lean on Jesus and he WILL carry you through this. There may be some bumps and bruises from the wild rollercoaster ride that life is but he'll eventually heal those too. Keep your chin up. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted and have to go to bed. I'll say an extra prayer for you, your mom, and Sarah.
Oh amy you are so right about the one thing that this can't do. This pain is so great that I am dumbfounded. How can we as puny human beings cope with this amount of pain without dying of grief?
I keep thinking about when I was a little kid and how I would say to mama, wake up and play with me. Now I just sit on the chair next to her bed and try not to cry. I hold her hand and lay my head next to her and listen to her every breath.
I get up after awhile and come in here and cry so hard but quietly, no kidding. the last thing my mom needs is to hear me blubbering all over the place. She'll think she's is worse shape than she is.
I'm so tired but no where near as tired as mom is. Please Jesus sit with me.
Congratulations Bobbie! I bet your mom is as happy for you as we all are.
Dtflex, be careful of some of the reflux meds. I know for a fact that Pepcid will worsen dementia and confusion in some older folks. Not sure about some of the others though. Grandmas PCP started her on pepcid for reflux and WOW! Look out! A doc at the ER was the one who informed me that it shouldn't be prescribed to the elderly other than as a last resort. She has done okay on other reflux meds but even the generics of Pepcid were not a good mix with her dementia. Just watch carefully for the first few weeks. As far as the episodes she's having, yes, they ALWAYS happen on the weekends. That's just some of the sweet sweet irony that goes along with the job. I noticed this coincidence quite a while back as well. haha. I would talk to her PCP and tell them exactly what you're observing. When it's happening, how she reacts, etc. and let them decide. You may have to keep after them too. I talked to grandmas pcp a number of times about her anxiety and OCD behavior to no avail until she flipped out and had an attack in his office one day. Surprisingly enough, we went home with a scrip for anxiety meds. I have to agree that geriatric docs are sometimes better at knowing which meds to prescribe to the elderly than general pcp's though. Grandma's doc does pretty good but there have been a few times that he prescribed meds for her that didn't work well or had VERY negative affects to find out from a hospital doc that those particular meds should NOT be given to the elder under most conditions. Anti-Anxiety meds fall into this category as well. The first med prescribed to grandma was a nightmare and when she ended up in the hospital, found that it is not good for the elderly. It makes them to groggy and causes falls and serious injuries. I wish I could remember what that one was called so that you knew which one NOT to let them prescribe but for the life of me, I can't remember what it was called. I'm thinking Diazapam. I know it ended in "pam" but most of the anxiety meds do. It affected her so bad that they actually pumped her stomach and gave her a shot of couteracting medication to get it out of her system as quickly as possible. The ER and hospital docs were completely dumbfounded that he would actually prescribe that med to her at her age........but there we were. On any new anxiety med, watch them CLOSELY. And I've also found that most docs want them to take anxiety meds at bedtime as a general rule so that if it does impair their motor skillsor makes them groggy, they sleep through it. If your mom gets up to go at night like my grandma does, I highly recommend giving morning doses. Just some ideas of things to ask about and talk about with your moms doc if they prescribe something for her.
SS, thank you so much for all of your prayers. They are appreciated! For as much as this thread is great for stress relief and finding others who can relate, I have found the one thing that it doesn't help with. Unfortunately, knowing that others understand how we're feeling and what we're going through never seems to help ease the pain of watching them diminish before our eyes. I don't know that there is anything that eases that pain or makes it any easier to watch and accept. I find myself praying for all of us. For the strength to make it through each day. For God to console us in our grief as we watch helplessly as they fade. For peace and comfort for all of our loved ones as they take their final journeys. Somedays, the best we can hope for is that they are not experiencing pain or discomfort and hoping that they will be at peace in a better place when the journey comes to an end. I ask God to watch over each and every one of them.
Oh giles, that sux big time. Your daughter sounds like a little angel and i hope your Grandma mellows out some so everybody can catch a break. Then you can get some sleep and not be overwhelmed with the Grannie Goofies. lovbob
So I spent the night in the ER with grandma again last night. I give her credit. It's been over a week since we've been in there. She's getting better. Had another unresponsive episode. The aides at the place found her sitting up in bed, leaning back against the wall, completely unable to move, even to blink. Again, tests all came back normal so they had me take her back to the place and they want to do an MRI of her head early this week to further check for strokes and/or seizures. From all of the x-rays and CT scans the woman has had in the last 6 months, I'm surprised that she doesn't glow in the dark! Got 3 hours of sleep today and then the place called. She's an unruly bear with a sore ass today. Not there exact words but pretty darn close. I think they used nasty and uncooperative. LOL Yep. That's her! She was refusing to take her meds and they wanted me to come in and see if I could convince her to take them. Fat chance but I had to try. Long story short, she told me to go to He@#. And told the nurse to stop asking because she's already told her where she can stick those meds.....and it wasn't in grandma's mouth. I couldn't take it. I tried for half an hour. Got yelled at, the stink eye, and belittled for half an hour and then I called it quits. I had to leave. Unfortunately with my hubby still in Vegas until later tonight, I had to take my daughter along. I don't like her being around grandma when she's like that. My little one has super sensitive feelings. She cries and gets upset easily and bottom line, I don't want her to remember grandma like that. I want her to remember the good times that she had with her without these ugly memories mottled through it all. I was proud of my girl. She did very well and didn't let it get to her. Pretty good for 6 yrs old. I think she did better than I did actually. So I'll go and visit tomorrow and hope that she wakes up in a better mood. Maybe she was just as exhausted as I was today.
Hello Sailors, Tennessee: this boat comes after over a year of research and education. she still has to go through survey and sea trial but she should do fine. She is configured to serve my needs and to handle offshore conditions. Mom wanted me to go ahead so I bought her yesterday.
As far as what I feel... it's like I feel freedom. i will become a different kind of caregiver. As far as boat porn goes, this one is right up there. I'm not about million $ yachts. I like those big roomy Trawlers and this is one of those.
There were only 10 58' Roughwaters ever made (58' at the water line and 63' length overall) and they are coveted. this is the one we've been working on for the last 6 weeks (remember when I didn't want to talk about it yet?) and when we were still in LA mom told me to get it now because she was afraid that if I waited until ....after....I wouldn't do it because I would be too sad. She would have been right too. I printed out pix to show her and she smiled and laughed and then fell back asleep.
her name? I want to name her after my mom because mom always told me 'you can go anywhere and do anything you want' and this boat can go anywhere and do just about anything it wants.
Please welcome the Barbara B.
love you guys and thanks for being supportive during this, the roughest times in all of our lives. Hence: Roughwater.
Hey everyone. Glad to see that we all made it through the weekend.
lhardebeck, That is SO great that your pa is having a good day today. Isn't it such a comforting feeling to see them doing well, even if it's only now and then? Hope his tomorrow is as good as today. Sweating and constantly digging food and snacks out sounds like a great day! When they'll actually eat......feed 'em, feed 'em, feed 'em. haha.
Dtflex, isn't gardening great for that. Sounds like you were busy today. I'm sure that made her very happy. lol Sleep good tonight!
Bobbie, LOVE the boat. She's a beaut! Got room on there for me to bring my jet skis? How has your mom been doing? I hope she gets a little stronger. She's SO lucky to have you for a daughter. The relationship that you have with your mom is the way it SHOULD be. I would love to meet her. Just hearing about her on here, she reminds me of my great-grandma Grimm. She was one of the spunkiest women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Even when she suffered stokes in her mid nineties, she still had a good sense of humor and lots of determination. She was so tiny and frail but I never viewed her that way. Her spirit was way to big. For some reason, when I hear you talk about your mom, it reminds me of my great gram. I just love that you two can still laugh. I would give just about anything to be able to get grandma to laugh again. But she never really did have much of a sense of humor throughout her life. Always one of the glass half empty people. Yeah, good luck to me trying to get her to laugh. At this point, I'd be happy with a smile. I rejoice in the fact that somebody out there, anybody out there, still sees the silver lining and the light at the end of the tunnel now and then. I'm sure that she draws much of her strength and love from you!
Pirate, I can only imagine how frustrated you must be with the snoring. I have sleep apnea and snore like nobody's business and my husband is a VERY light sleeper. If a mouse farts in the neighbors house......my husband will hear it and wake up! I know how frustrated and irritable he gets on the nights that I take my CPAP mask off in my sleep. I can see it in the bags under his eyes in the morning and I can hear it in his tone of voice ALL day long. So although I can almost sympathize with you b/f because he has minimal control over his snoring, I can't really. I know how bad I feel on those nights that I accidentally keep my hubby awake with my incessant snoring and so I know that if your b/f cared about you at all, he would see how the lack of sleep is affecting you. He would do something to try to help you instead of hinder you. Even if it means sleeping on the couch or not staying over. For cripes sakes, he can buy one of those mouth guards off of tv that stop snoring for like $60. That might sound like alot of money for a little piece of plastic but it's well worth it if it means that he is not inconveniencing you and actually letting you get a good nights sleep. If the lack of sleep due to snoring is the only/main issue, tell him that if he is staying over he better have his mouth guard in hand and ready to wear it or to go home. If there are other underlying issues, I'd say take some time to yourself anyways. Use the time to regroup and rejuvinate. Focus on you and your mom. It will give you time to think and decide whether he's worth it or not. You'll be more rational and clear headed after you catch up on some much needed sleep. You may find that after a week or two without him that you feel better and don't really miss him. If that's the case, you have your answer. If you find that you feel better but do miss his company, then it's time to bargain with him to see if he's willing to step up and be the supportive person that you DESERVE.
Hope everyone had a good weekend and at least a few minutes in there somewhere to unwind. Here's to a better week for all of us and our loved ones.
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one time my dad was layin up in a hammock and he farted and I said, 'did you say something?'
and he said, 'I was callin your name.'
I was about 11 and thought that was the funniest thing I had ever heard.
When mom could still walk, sometimes she would poot poot.
I'd say, 'you step on a duck?'
and she'd say, 'yup.'
'Barking spiders?'
'yup.'
'Government on the phone?'
'yup.'
Love to all of you amazing caregivers and Amy! thanks again for the hug.
SS, you must be so happy with your son. What piece did he play at his recital?
Amy: I think the boat has some kind of horn because you have to in fog conditions but maybe I can get a whopper off of a train or something.
I am fairly confident that the Coast Guard would frown on that, but fun to talk about.
Some container ship thinks there's a locomotive behind them and it's me in my dingy sized floating clown show. Blow the horn and the boat slows down. Too much horn.
Mom has been alert for a few hours and playing with her pretty napkins. Sara keeps feeding her and changing her and tomorrow we're going to try to sit on the edge of the bed and test her legs.
BTW, my mom chews the meat and won't swallow it either. I just told her, no problem. You got the good part out. Have some cow and get some B vitamins out of the deal. I'm happy she's chewing.
sometimes I think that the reason they spit it out is that they know intuitively that it's supposed to go somewhere and swallowing it is not the first thing they think of.
What is it that they call the stuff the Owl pukes up? They did a big show on it on the Discovery Channel or some such. The Owl nabs a mouse and swallows it whole and digests everything but the hair and bones which it upchucks and leaves for people to find and reassemble the mouse in biology class. Why not? all the parts are there. Owl balls or pellets or something. Some people make a living finding Owl balls and selling them to the schools. Your tax dollars at work.
Man, only on the Grossed out thread can we start with a fart and wind up with Owl balls.
lovbob
Hugs to all of you!! Bless you and love you!!
miz
godhelpus, she really IS ingenius! The toilet brush thing sounds like something my grandmother would do behind closed doors. She fancies herself too high-brow to let anyone know she'd do something like that but she would. So does she attach the toilet brush to her brush to get a longer handle or does she just brush her hair with the toilet brush? I love it! Don't start worrying til she tries it to brush her teeth with it! haha.
SS, hope you have a great evening at your son's recital. You must be SO proud! I get so emotional at my daughters gymnastics and cheerleading recitals that I tear up and get all weepy. My husband just looks at me and shakes his head.
Amy
Even when my daughter was little, I couldn't help her if she was vomiting.
Does anyone else have this problem? I took her pants off inside out so I wouldn't have to look at them, and put something on top of the wheelchair while I unscrewed the seat so that I could throw it in the washer. Wouldn't you know she waited until the aide had left for the day. Then she told me"there! I told you I had to throw up!"
Maybe I'm making more of this than I should, but I sure hope I don't have to see that again!!! Triple gross!!!!
Deefer, doc saw dad today. No one knew what happened when he fell. He's getting xrays, b/c he walks with a limp. And a back-up wheelchair b/c he can't walk far. He's also getting Restorative Therapy, two-person assistance with walking, then dental work. I was a good advocate today. He wouldn't get out of bed when I got there, and just closed his eyes, after a smile. Will keep checking on him. They said he ate a good breakfast.
Sorry, gotta run to my 9 year old's piano recital. Will post some more later, for all you wonderful caregiving ladies. Thanks for your input and suggestions; especially for your prayers. Love to all!
SS, did your dad hit his head? It's a really good idea to get him to the doctor. He could have done some damage during the fall. Hope he's okay.
Pirate, At least take some time away from the b/f and get yourself some rest. it may give you a better perspective on the situation. And by the way, all men have the "asshole gene". Some just let it show more than others!
Giles, Does your grandma have Parkinsons? She could be having "off" moments when her meds get low. This would make her unresponsive and out there! When she won't take her meds, distract her from the task, then give her the pills in applesauce or ice cream, or my mom's favorite, whipped cream from the can! When they don't want to do something, it just gets worse the more you try!
Dtflex, If I remember correctly, you feel your mom is playing you, even though she has dementia. You are absolutely right! Mom has been doing that to me for 4 years and denies it to this day. But every now and then she will say something to one of my siblings that confirms she is trying to get to me for attention.
Does your mom have Parkinsons besides the dementia? Reflux is from the meds if she does. The dementia, anxiety and depression are all made worse by the disease. And the OCD, let's not even go there! The neurologist finally put Mom on Seroquel, and it calms her down considerably. I know they say not to give it to the elderly with dementia, but things can't get any worse than they are without it. As for the reflux, find a daily antacid with famatodine. The pharmacist told me this will not interfere with anti anxiety and depression meds. Mom takes Paxil 30mg in the morning, Zanax .25mg 3 times a day, Seroquel 25mg when the OCD starts to get nasty, and a remeron 15 mg at night to help her sleep. Then there are her 2 parkinson's meds and Aricept. This sounds like a lot, but after 2 years of trying different depression meds and doses, this combo seems to finally work. It's really hard to get the right combo of meds for a person who can't really explain what's happening to them.
Now I will leave you all on a grand note. Mom's long term care insurance claim was finally ok'd and there are 2 checks on the way for $4000 to reimburse her for the unused premiums and money payed out for home care!!!! Merry can now work for us 30+ hours a week and the insurance will pay for it up to $92,000. That gives Mom a few more years at home, if we can still handle her.
I don't know what made Mom take on this insurance 10 years ago, but it just may buy her enough time to stay in her own home until she know longer knows where she is. Now maybe I can get to some much needed housework, yard work, and most especially, POOL TIME!!!
Take care everyone!
Amy is right, he hears your prayers. Nice to know someone is praying with me for all the ladies here, and their loved ones. Linda, thank you for your kind words of comfort.
Piratess, we're supportive of whatever you need to do. I'm in a "been there, done that position," and can only tolerate so much from creeps. Had more than my share of entanglement with jerks, and it's NOT fun. Then I prayed, and God sent a steady. He isn't perfect, though none are, but some are better than others.
Yes, grieving happens at all levels, and it doesn't feel pleasant. There is no guidebook for it, but prayer does help. Some things are just beyond comprehension, so I try not to dwell on them.
I'm heading to the nursing home today to advocate for my dad. The pupils in his eyes and the dullness show his distress. Could be part of the fall he experienced, or...? He is just not his perkey self...and that's disturbing. Unfortunately, I think there's more of that in his future, :( along with other unpleasantness.
Thanks for starting this thread, Bobbie. It's been a great place to share and vent and connect. Hoping that boat works the same way some day. I'll walk down to the harbor to greet you, and invite you up for some refreshment. Looking forward to the day. Let's exchange contact info. In the meantime, happy dreaming!
i dont understand it . he would have his moments when he doesnt sleep for 2 days then after that he s like a dead man . weak as heck and sleeping too much .
cant sleep so i get on gross out threads , i love you ladies ! makes me wish i could just come over and knock on ur door and better yet go sailing ! it s so great that we all could get on here and make friends .
bobbie321 you need a good friend to come over and spend a whole day with you . ure heartbroken and could use some company . drink some good ole wine and talk about the boat .
giles , i didnt realize you have a lit girl . what a sweetheart , i have 3 granddaughters all under age of 4 . theyre a blessing ! u sure do have ur hands full . may the jesus guide you thru .
s,s. a, sorry to hear ur pa s not getting any better . maybe he;ll snap out of it and be feeling good again . my pa does that . sure hurts deep inside to see our parents a failing . then i think wow am i gonna be like that too ?
hope today brings us good day . my oldest daughters suppose to come out today and im going to give her bunch starts of flowers .
have a good day ladies , be thinking about u all . ill get us a favorite plant for the boat , :-)
Amy
I keep thinking about when I was a little kid and how I would say to mama, wake up and play with me. Now I just sit on the chair next to her bed and try not to cry. I hold her hand and lay my head next to her and listen to her every breath.
I get up after awhile and come in here and cry so hard but quietly, no kidding. the last thing my mom needs is to hear me blubbering all over the place. She'll think she's is worse shape than she is.
I'm so tired but no where near as tired as mom is.
Please Jesus sit with me.
lovbob
Dtflex, be careful of some of the reflux meds. I know for a fact that Pepcid will worsen dementia and confusion in some older folks. Not sure about some of the others though. Grandmas PCP started her on pepcid for reflux and WOW! Look out! A doc at the ER was the one who informed me that it shouldn't be prescribed to the elderly other than as a last resort. She has done okay on other reflux meds but even the generics of Pepcid were not a good mix with her dementia. Just watch carefully for the first few weeks. As far as the episodes she's having, yes, they ALWAYS happen on the weekends. That's just some of the sweet sweet irony that goes along with the job. I noticed this coincidence quite a while back as well. haha. I would talk to her PCP and tell them exactly what you're observing. When it's happening, how she reacts, etc. and let them decide. You may have to keep after them too. I talked to grandmas pcp a number of times about her anxiety and OCD behavior to no avail until she flipped out and had an attack in his office one day. Surprisingly enough, we went home with a scrip for anxiety meds. I have to agree that geriatric docs are sometimes better at knowing which meds to prescribe to the elderly than general pcp's though. Grandma's doc does pretty good but there have been a few times that he prescribed meds for her that didn't work well or had VERY negative affects to find out from a hospital doc that those particular meds should NOT be given to the elder under most conditions. Anti-Anxiety meds fall into this category as well. The first med prescribed to grandma was a nightmare and when she ended up in the hospital, found that it is not good for the elderly. It makes them to groggy and causes falls and serious injuries. I wish I could remember what that one was called so that you knew which one NOT to let them prescribe but for the life of me, I can't remember what it was called. I'm thinking Diazapam. I know it ended in "pam" but most of the anxiety meds do. It affected her so bad that they actually pumped her stomach and gave her a shot of couteracting medication to get it out of her system as quickly as possible. The ER and hospital docs were completely dumbfounded that he would actually prescribe that med to her at her age........but there we were. On any new anxiety med, watch them CLOSELY. And I've also found that most docs want them to take anxiety meds at bedtime as a general rule so that if it does impair their motor skillsor makes them groggy, they sleep through it. If your mom gets up to go at night like my grandma does, I highly recommend giving morning doses. Just some ideas of things to ask about and talk about with your moms doc if they prescribe something for her.
SS, thank you so much for all of your prayers. They are appreciated! For as much as this thread is great for stress relief and finding others who can relate, I have found the one thing that it doesn't help with. Unfortunately, knowing that others understand how we're feeling and what we're going through never seems to help ease the pain of watching them diminish before our eyes. I don't know that there is anything that eases that pain or makes it any easier to watch and accept. I find myself praying for all of us. For the strength to make it through each day. For God to console us in our grief as we watch helplessly as they fade. For peace and comfort for all of our loved ones as they take their final journeys. Somedays, the best we can hope for is that they are not experiencing pain or discomfort and hoping that they will be at peace in a better place when the journey comes to an end. I ask God to watch over each and every one of them.
Amy
Your daughter sounds like a little angel and i hope your Grandma mellows out some so everybody can catch a break.
Then you can get some sleep and not be overwhelmed with the Grannie Goofies.
lovbob
Tennessee:
this boat comes after over a year of research and education. she still has to go through survey and sea trial but she should do fine.
She is configured to serve my needs and to handle offshore conditions.
Mom wanted me to go ahead so I bought her yesterday.
As far as what I feel... it's like I feel freedom. i will become a different kind of caregiver. As far as boat porn goes, this one is right up there. I'm not about million $ yachts. I like those big roomy Trawlers and this is one of those.
There were only 10 58' Roughwaters ever made (58' at the water line and 63' length overall) and they are coveted. this is the one we've been working on for the last 6 weeks (remember when I didn't want to talk about it yet?) and when we were still in LA mom told me to get it now because she was afraid that if I waited until ....after....I wouldn't do it because I would be too sad. She would have been right too. I printed out pix to show her and she smiled and laughed and then fell back asleep.
her name? I want to name her after my mom because mom always told me 'you can go anywhere and do anything you want' and this boat can go anywhere and do just about anything it wants.
Please welcome the Barbara B.
love you guys and thanks for being supportive during this, the roughest times in all of our lives. Hence: Roughwater.
lovbob
lhardebeck, That is SO great that your pa is having a good day today. Isn't it such a comforting feeling to see them doing well, even if it's only now and then? Hope his tomorrow is as good as today. Sweating and constantly digging food and snacks out sounds like a great day! When they'll actually eat......feed 'em, feed 'em, feed 'em. haha.
Dtflex, isn't gardening great for that. Sounds like you were busy today. I'm sure that made her very happy. lol Sleep good tonight!
Bobbie, LOVE the boat. She's a beaut! Got room on there for me to bring my jet skis? How has your mom been doing? I hope she gets a little stronger. She's SO lucky to have you for a daughter. The relationship that you have with your mom is the way it SHOULD be. I would love to meet her. Just hearing about her on here, she reminds me of my great-grandma Grimm. She was one of the spunkiest women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Even when she suffered stokes in her mid nineties, she still had a good sense of humor and lots of determination. She was so tiny and frail but I never viewed her that way. Her spirit was way to big. For some reason, when I hear you talk about your mom, it reminds me of my great gram. I just love that you two can still laugh. I would give just about anything to be able to get grandma to laugh again. But she never really did have much of a sense of humor throughout her life. Always one of the glass half empty people. Yeah, good luck to me trying to get her to laugh. At this point, I'd be happy with a smile. I rejoice in the fact that somebody out there, anybody out there, still sees the silver lining and the light at the end of the tunnel now and then. I'm sure that she draws much of her strength and love from you!
Pirate, I can only imagine how frustrated you must be with the snoring. I have sleep apnea and snore like nobody's business and my husband is a VERY light sleeper. If a mouse farts in the neighbors house......my husband will hear it and wake up! I know how frustrated and irritable he gets on the nights that I take my CPAP mask off in my sleep. I can see it in the bags under his eyes in the morning and I can hear it in his tone of voice ALL day long. So although I can almost sympathize with you b/f because he has minimal control over his snoring, I can't really. I know how bad I feel on those nights that I accidentally keep my hubby awake with my incessant snoring and so I know that if your b/f cared about you at all, he would see how the lack of sleep is affecting you. He would do something to try to help you instead of hinder you. Even if it means sleeping on the couch or not staying over. For cripes sakes, he can buy one of those mouth guards off of tv that stop snoring for like $60. That might sound like alot of money for a little piece of plastic but it's well worth it if it means that he is not inconveniencing you and actually letting you get a good nights sleep. If the lack of sleep due to snoring is the only/main issue, tell him that if he is staying over he better have his mouth guard in hand and ready to wear it or to go home. If there are other underlying issues, I'd say take some time to yourself anyways. Use the time to regroup and rejuvinate. Focus on you and your mom. It will give you time to think and decide whether he's worth it or not. You'll be more rational and clear headed after you catch up on some much needed sleep. You may find that after a week or two without him that you feel better and don't really miss him. If that's the case, you have your answer. If you find that you feel better but do miss his company, then it's time to bargain with him to see if he's willing to step up and be the supportive person that you DESERVE.
Hope everyone had a good weekend and at least a few minutes in there somewhere to unwind. Here's to a better week for all of us and our loved ones.
Amy