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I know that caring for an elderly parent can be difficult. Three weeks after my dad passed my mom wound up in ICU from a GI bleed. When she was well enough she came to live with my family. I was providing all of her personal care, wound care etc. It was very difficult. She kept wanting to fix meals once she got better but I had noticed that her nails were disgusting, she would pick at her teeth and othe areas and then want to touch food, yuck. The most important lesson I learned from the whole experience is to recognize I couldn't do it all and had to ask for help. Caretakers need to be very careful to take care of themselvs so they don't get burnt out. If you're not so stressed, then it's easier to approach things from an objective manner.
Miz: so glad you both had a good time and your mom was fine. you are a good and loving daughter and you and your mom are blessed to have each other during this time.
SS you are the Gardener! I bet it looks beautiful over there. Hope your husband feels better. poor thing.
I miss a lot of our 'original' crew too. Comes with the caregiving territory I think. each of us gets overwhelmed on our own ways and we surface when we can.
Mom is sleeping a lot and gave us a good scare yesterday. I cried and cried and said, mama wake up and play with me. she woke up for a few minutes and her eyes were the brightest blue.
Sara and I keep giving her food and good drink like orange juice, water, carrot juice, protein smoothies and all kinds of juniors foods.
So tired and have been lying down with mom. I can't put my arm around her because it would be too heavy, but i can lay there and she holds my thumb. Ow. this is all so sad and it hurts so much.
Hi Miz, thanks for sharing about your trip. Sounds like a great getaway, a long time coming, and well-deserved. Good for you and your hubby! Hope you have more intermittently, as they seem to help so much. That is also so neat that you got a new hearing aid. What a blessing!
It seems what you describe was an anxiety, or panic attack. Stress will do that to people. I got a fear of climbing Castle Rock on our honeymoon. My hubby couldn't believe me so frightened, and attached to the fence, afraid to move. We prayed about it, and it was better, but I still am not comfortable with heights. I definitely think stress exacerbates things.
Yesterday, we went to a nursery to buy me some plants the guys promised for my Mother's Day present. On the way home, I suggested we stop at a County Park. It was a beautiful sunny day, and we walked barefoot on the beach. Then my 9 year old played on the playground for awhile. It almost felt like a mini vacation. Would have been nicer if my hubby didn't have pneumonia right now. Weird, huh? He's been coughing for a couple weeks, had the chills, and fatigue. I've never seen him sick like this, and it's very strange to see a regularly healthy individual get it. The PA said "probably bacterial."
I planted my flowers last night, and bought some more today. I'd be out right now if it wasn't raining. Since I can't plant or enjoy the beach, I will dream of the boat.
Bobbie, how are you, dear? And Pamela? Pirate? Rep?~ (it's been a long time...) Anyone talk to KB?
Hi Everyone!! SS, it felt wonderful to get away. In fact, it wasn't nearly long enough. I got a taste of freedom and it tasted really good. I've been fighting the blues but I am committed and dedicated to taking care of my mom. That has not changed. Flat tire aside, I had a great time at the convention. There was really good food and plenty of it. The beds in the hotel we stayed in are like sleeping on a cloud. I got fit with the latest and greatest in hearing aids, free of charge. In fact, I met with the owner of the company about them. I was driven to another building to see him in a black mercedes. And then, when we were done meeting, the owner drove us back in that same vehicle. He is a kind and gentle man who goes to poor areas of the world and fits children with hearing aids. At the last session, we watched film of the last gala they threw for the cause and then the owner spoke and I broke down in sobs. I had to really control it. There were many tears all over the room. There was a guy in front of us wiping his eyes. On the last night, hubby and my boss and I went to Mall of America and had dinner and walked around a bit. I had a funny/strange thing happen. We had taken the escalator to the third floor with no problem. But, when it came to going down the escalator I just froze. It seemed so fast and steep. I could not bring myself to get on it. How embarrassing. Finally, hubby came back up and we went down the escalator with our arms around each other. How neurotic am I!!?? :) It was a long drive up to Minneapolis from here and back for hubby and I am grateful he did it. Thank God his back did okay. Mom was just fine when I got home. No problems. Hubby and I are hoping to go to Wisconsin to see my best friend and her husband in August. We would see them starting either Friday night or Saturday at about noon and then go to the Renaissance Fair on Sunday and then spend the night at a hotel and then come home. At least that's something to look forward to. :) And the boat too!!
Well, yeah. I don't touch Mother. 'shudder' And I make sure she never touches anything of mine.
I don't feel guilty at all. The fact is that Mother IS OFTEN disgusting. She knows better, too. She says it's just "easier" to be, well, disgusting. Certainly doesn't improve my attitude towards her.
Hello Miz Demi! Thank you. Still eager to hear how your time away went...or is it a secret? How was the convention? Did it feel good to get away? I'll guess you were so relieved to know your mom did well while you traveled. So glad you got to go! Do you have any future plans for adventures?
SS, you're such a dear. It sounds like your dad is as happy as he can be right now and you are doing a whole lot to make him that way. I feel so bad for you watching the decline. I haven't gotten that far with my mom yet but it's tough enough watching the decline that I have seen. I'm so glad you have your faith. Please get some rest. We're here for you!!
Hi Miz and Bobbie. I was writing as you were posting, so missed the boat on that one. LOL Bobbie, you are so encouraging. Thank you! So many of you are! I really do draw my strength from God, and the many kind people he sends my way.
Believe me, boat time, beach time, whatever, sounds like a great goal. Right now, I am weighed by thoughts and responsibilities, and long for the freedoms I once took for granted. Guess I could just run away, but my conscience won't allow it. None of us like it, but choose to serve. That's character, and I am blessed to know so many of you who possess that wonderful quality. To my unsung fellow hero caregivers, I say, bravo!
A distant cousin, whom I haven't actually met yet, is another angel God blessed me with. She followed my posts for over a year on another Care site. I told her I'm writing a book about my dad, called: A Daughter's Reflections. She encouraged me, saying she loves my writing. I hope to keep others updated on their brother/uncle, etc., and glad it ministers to them in some small way. I am writing the book for me, as a reminded of dad's journey, containing pictures, and my observations, along the way. I say often, and will recognize those of you who have been of such great help through the valleys. Thank you, all!
Just saw my dad. He was sitting with a man, who is training as a CNA. Wow, grown men flooding the Nursing Homes. Wierd! A sign of the times, as other things are falling apart. He had his own business supplying the auto industry, but not anymore. Now, a CNA? WOW! An EMT going for his RN, next. Also talked to some nurses about the gas leases that are leaving everyone in an uproar, and for good reason. But I probably shouldn't post much about that here. Let's just say, hmmmmm, not good.
Anyway, the visit with dad was good. He was mellow. That's the best way to describe him lately. He can't express himself much at all. I convinced him to go for a walk with me, but he tired. I got a wheelchair for him so I could take him outside into the beautiful warm sunshine, for some fresh air. I wheeled him around the courtyard, and we looked at a fountain and some flowers. Then I wheeled him up onto an accessible swing, that accommodates wheelchairs. A year ago, he would have walked all over with me. The decline becomes more evident everyday. He didn't want to stay out very long. He hasn't like being in the out of doors for some time now. His world has changed, and definitely shrunk. I think he's happiest in his tiny comfort zone, where everything he can see is familiar. Changes bother him greatly.
Then I walked about outside with my FIL. It is such a gorgeous day! So, I did my good daughter deeds for today. I haven't been sleeping real well for some time, and think I hear my pillow calling.
Aims! Here's one: put her in her favorite 'nice' outfit and fold the robe, least ratty side out and put it over her arm. Now she's ready so when she gets there and is all checked in she can put her robe on and relax. That's how I would like to travel....
Man, everybody has their hands full!
SS, I grieve with you for your Dad and the heavy responsiblility that you carry. It's hard to imagine even handling that kind of stuff but you do and you do it with grace and dignity. You're right, looking after the best interests of 3 elders with a slew of nasty challenges could make you crazy. Just remember, there is a tropical beach in your future and we will all meet up and laugh and cry together. There will be way more laughing than crying!
Everything is moving along on the business front. I lost my mind with some people on Friday because they are obtuse and my mom is real sick and I just didn't want to hear it. I'll tell you those stories on the boat. It's tragic, really.
Amy, hope you get to ride on the boat first! How funny are you. I like your "keep it simple" idea. Waste doesn't make sense, but is "traditional." Why? I like the cremation idea, but will leave the decision to my son, who has to live with it. Ashes don't bother me; I was made from mud, anyway. Once I'm outta here, I have a mansion just a waiting for me. That is a very blessed thought!
195Austin, I'm with you there. My husband and I both want to be cremated. Just my personal opinion but the whole funeral, casket, service, viewings, seem like such a waste of time and money. Too much "show" if ya know what I mean. My hubby and I both joke that we wish it were legal to just bury people in the back yard. Just pitch me in a pine box and dump me in a hole. I'm already gone, what do I care. We have arrangements to be cremated and then just have a small memorial for family and friends to get together and celebrate our passing as they see fit. Keeping it simple. But everyone is different. To each their own. :)
Hey Bobbie, maybe I'll have all of you guys spread my ashes at sea from the boat! Remember to use the back of the boat, though. Use the front and those headwinds might have me layin' all over the deck! What a damper on the rest of the cruise. lol
I would have her wear the bathrobe if that is what she wants-my MIL wanted to be buried in a certain dress -only thing she was 100 lbs. heavier but the person getting her ready were able to get it on by cutting seams and she looked alright-my husband wanted to be creamated and I will be also I prefer memorial services rather than funerals.
Thank you guys so much for all the input. It means alot. And any other thoughts or opinions, please continue to share them.
Ok. For now, here's what I'm thinking of doing. I need to get the darned thing out of her closet and take a gander at it. I know the zipper needed to be fixed so there's a start. I think I'll make a trip to Michael's or The Hobby Lobby and see what's available to maybe dress it up a bit. I don't know. I don't think I'd be able to put other clothes over top of it and still have it look decent. The robe is floor-length and huge. She's lost so much weight over the last year that she will be swimming in it as it is. Maybe I could take it in some and shorten it up a bit. I notice that she's apparently gotten much shorter too because things that used to come to her ankles now drag on the floor behind her and wrap around her feet. But as is, clothes over top of it would look like she were smuggling blankets or shoplifting. This will apparently be my next project to figure out/work on in all of my imaginary free time. If you think of any more suggestions or ideas, please let me know. Thanks guys!
I say bury her the way she wants! Too many people ignore the last wishes of their loved ones in order to make themselves feel good. Very few of us get what we really want in life, we should at least be able to get it upon our death! I personally prefer to remember my loved ones as I saw them in life, warts and all. Making them pretty for their final sendoff doesn't change who they were to us when they were alive. Mom does not want people gawking at her after she goes. The one thing us 7 siblings agree on is letting her have her last wishes.
I'm dragging today, after traveling. Saw some friends, so that part was good. Saw mom and dad's house being dismantled by ??? and that is difficult. Now I need to go see my dad. It's getting less pleasant with every visit. We used to play cards, go for walks, laugh. Now he just sits and stares... But he still smiles. I go because no one else does, and because he's dad. It's all that's left :(
I have wild imaginations about springing him from that place, and taking him "home." But he's wearing Depends, and often refuses care. The thought of a mess while driving down the highway bursts my bubble. And since he's not always compliant, I can't really take him anywhere. So, I just visit. Sometimes I have to make myself go in that nursing home. It can be so depressing sometimes, seeing all those poor people, and watching my FIL with egg pr the last meal on his chin. Gross!
Hubby hasn't been to visit his dad in a while, due to illness. He had the chills last Friday. He wouldn't even eat a cookie I made for an open house. Now that's sick! He's still sick and coughing today, and made a doctor appointment for himself. It's official if he goes to the doctor. Poor hubby. His dad doesn't even ask about him when I visit. At 90, I think he's declining to the point of...well, not remembering to ask why he hasn't visited in a while. I won't offer an excuse unless he asks. Thanks for praying for my hubby. I hope my son and I don't get what he has.
lhardebeck posted before mine, but I like her idea. Hate the bathrobe one, though. How...strange. Bury me with my computer. (JK) On second thought, let my kid have it, so he can complain about all my idiosyncrasies. LOL
Wow, Amy, I can understand your distress about the bathrobe. If she put that in writing, do they have to abide by it? I can't imagine a respectable funeral home doing that. And you think she was in her right mind when she made that decision? What was she thinking? Comfort at home is one thing, but I agree with you about the "last image" thing. And I would think that after she's gone, whoever is in charge gets the final say. Good heavens! What strange ideas people get sometimes.
I had a hard time sleeping after two days away. What's happening in my family situation, and my parent's abandoned house 200 miles away is making me sick. I can't control it, but it affects me, and I grieve. Worse is the way they ignore my poor dad. I'm so thankful God gave me the opportunity to have him close by in his final days. It hurts to see him decline, but I am grateful for the opportunity to spend so much time with him, and reassure him he's not alone, and that my hubby, son and I care about him. I hate Alzheimer's! I don't like my mom's mental illness either. Nasty stuff!
Guess I'm so tired, I can't remember: did I post about my dad's brother, SIL and neice coming from CO to MI to see dad? And his sister from 235 miles away? It was a good, but very short visit last week. Dad smiled to see them, but it's so apparent to all of his decline :(
Bobbie, how are things going with you and your mom? How is the estate liquidation/sale going? Do you get homesick for CA while on the East Coast?
Miz, nice to see pictures posted of you and hubby on your trip. Hope it holds wonderful memories for you.
Pamela, sorry to hear about your mom. How are things going? You doing OK?
To everyone, including those I didn't personally address: God bless you and your loved ones.
my step mom had on a cute pink bathrobe . along with her pink slippers , they have alot of pretty ones for women . they should be buried how ever clothes they want to wear. u could put the old green batty bathrobe down below where nobody can see it , when its time to close the casket you could pull that up to her chest and there shes buried with it .
Amy, Just a thought. How about having her in her bathrobe with something pretty over it for the viewing. If it's her wish to be buried in that bathrobe then I think the family should follow her wishes.
Wow SS, sounds like you had a busy visit. Glad you made it home safe and sound. It's kind of ironic. We all wish that we had more family to help with our loved ones but in reality, because they're never there to actually help, it's almost easier if we didn't have other family members to deal with. It would be so much less stress. I wouldn't be to concerned about your FIL eating with his eyes closed. I've seen grandma do this on several occasions, especially when she is in the hospital. I asked the nurse about it and she said that sometimes it helps them to block out some of the extrasensory "noise". As they get older, (esp. with Parkinsons) they start to lose the ability to block out surrounding sights and sounds and it overwhelms them. If your FIL has trouble chewing or swallowing, he may just be trying to block everything else out to help him concentrate on the task at hand. Just a thought. Now that you're home, make sure that you take some time for yourself to unwind from your trip. You deserve it!
I have a question for all of you that I need help with. I'm rather torn on it and I'm sure that some of you have already had to deal with these details and others are preparing for it. When Miz mentioned having her dads suit ready for future events, it got me thinking about things that I put in the back of my mind to deal with later. It's later, I guess. So hears the deal. A year or so ago when grandma was making her funeral arrangements and getting all the details hashed out, she went over them with her sister and my husband afterwards to keep them apprised. My husband, because it will be his job to follow through and her sister, I think in case my husband or I tried to change anything. Who knows. Anyways, her sister brought it to my attention a while back that grandma was very specific when she told them that she wanted to be buried in her "favorite green bathrobe". Mind you this thing is about 30 years old, ratty as all sin, and the zipper doesn't work anymore. Believe it or not, she was not suffering from dementia when she made this decision. Go figure. So her sister was a little bewildered and that's why she told me. My husband, being a guy, had no idea what god awful bathrobe she was talking about so he didn't think anything of it. So my dilemma is.......do I grant her wish and bury her in her ratty old bathrobe or is it our job to look out for her interests and make a better decision. I know that some of us will be very embarrassed on the day of her funeral if we choose to go with her wishes. And I know how shallow it sounds to be worried about what she's dressed in after she's already gone but this will be the last time that everyone sees her and some who have not seen her in quite a while. I guess I'm worried that everyone is gonna end up remembering her in her ratty old bathrobe. Don't know what to think about all of this. I see ups and downs to both sides and need some honest input from everyone here. I trust and value all of your opinions because we're all in the same boat.
Wow, Bobbie! Can't believe how organized you are, thinking about the future. Hope it's the far future, and not near... What's happening with your adoptive mom? And how is your mom doing?
Miz, looking forward to reading more about your trip.
I just got in an hour ago from mine. Went down to my folk's house, to find things astir again. It's always something... The alarm system was disabled, and some other things were askew. Don't know who is doing that, but probably the same people who took all the antiques and silver... my nice family :( and it makes me crazy.
I am preparing for the end, too. God Dad's suit cleaned and put away, just in case. And shoes, and paperwork. I want to be prepared, and not have to rush around with those things when I'm in shock with grief. Hoping that day is far off, but dad is declining. So is my FIL, who eats with his eyes closed. At 90, he can do whatever he wants, but that is bizarre. Is he too old and tired to keep them open anymore? He does sleep a lot. So does my dad. Then there's mom...who was in her usual form last week, with great mental challenges. Looking out the for best interests of 3 elders is quite the chore. I dream of the beach. Someday... For now, I'm just glad to be home.
teristeve, thanks for the support. Like everyone taking care of one parent I am amazed at y'all taking care of TWO. omg. I'm trying to imagine it but oh my.
If Sara wasn't here I would be ska-rooed. She's in there with mom right now singing to her. She patiently puts food in and it's working!. Mom is better today than she was yesterday and her body is working well. I know because she smacked me in the titty when I leaned in too close.
Deef's mom and Amy's Grandma, Whatta pair! Thelma and Louise. I think that they both should be on Oprah.
Hey Miz Demi!! Thanks baby doll. that's kind of what I was thinking, that at this tough time she could give it a break and give me a break. It just shows who she is. When your mom is in bad shape and you think she's checking out and then this lady wants to make it about herself. Unbelievable to me. Oh well just goes to show, You have one mom! and I got to spend some great times with my mom and I've only had my chops busted by the auntie.
Miz! Glad to hear that you're going to get where the boat is! We got us some plans now don't we Sailors! Who else is in?
I asked Sara to stay with me for a month after...... you know, when the time comes and she said yes. I think I'm going to be a basket case and could really do with some help.
Thanks so much for the support you guys. This is indeed the toughest thing I have ever done and you guys really help make it manageable. More later,
bobbie, your Aunt/birthmother's actions are unforgivable. She should be showering you with love and care. I don't get it. She is missing so much by not being close to you. You are a wonderful person. Just keep being you. I will get to where ever I have to get to to get on the boat. Don't you worry about that. :) It sounds fabulous!!
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Miz: so glad you both had a good time and your mom was fine. you are a good and loving daughter and you and your mom are blessed to have each other during this time.
SS you are the Gardener! I bet it looks beautiful over there. Hope your husband feels better. poor thing.
I miss a lot of our 'original' crew too. Comes with the caregiving territory I think. each of us gets overwhelmed on our own ways and we surface when we can.
Mom is sleeping a lot and gave us a good scare yesterday. I cried and cried and said, mama wake up and play with me.
she woke up for a few minutes and her eyes were the brightest blue.
Sara and I keep giving her food and good drink like orange juice, water, carrot juice, protein smoothies and all kinds of juniors foods.
So tired and have been lying down with mom. I can't put my arm around her because it would be too heavy, but i can lay there and she holds my thumb.
Ow. this is all so sad and it hurts so much.
lovbob
It seems what you describe was an anxiety, or panic attack. Stress will do that to people. I got a fear of climbing Castle Rock on our honeymoon. My hubby couldn't believe me so frightened, and attached to the fence, afraid to move. We prayed about it, and it was better, but I still am not comfortable with heights. I definitely think stress exacerbates things.
Yesterday, we went to a nursery to buy me some plants the guys promised for my Mother's Day present. On the way home, I suggested we stop at a County Park. It was a beautiful sunny day, and we walked barefoot on the beach. Then my 9 year old played on the playground for awhile. It almost felt like a mini vacation. Would have been nicer if my hubby didn't have pneumonia right now. Weird, huh? He's been coughing for a couple weeks, had the chills, and fatigue. I've never seen him sick like this, and it's very strange to see a regularly healthy individual get it. The PA said "probably bacterial."
I planted my flowers last night, and bought some more today. I'd be out right now if it wasn't raining. Since I can't plant or enjoy the beach, I will dream of the boat.
Bobbie, how are you, dear? And Pamela? Pirate? Rep?~ (it's been a long time...) Anyone talk to KB?
love,
miz
I don't feel guilty at all. The fact is that Mother IS OFTEN disgusting. She knows better, too. She says it's just "easier" to be, well, disgusting. Certainly doesn't improve my attitude towards her.
Yech.
love,
miz
Believe me, boat time, beach time, whatever, sounds like a great goal. Right now, I am weighed by thoughts and responsibilities, and long for the freedoms I once took for granted. Guess I could just run away, but my conscience won't allow it. None of us like it, but choose to serve. That's character, and I am blessed to know so many of you who possess that wonderful quality. To my unsung fellow hero caregivers, I say, bravo!
A distant cousin, whom I haven't actually met yet, is another angel God blessed me with. She followed my posts for over a year on another Care site. I told her I'm writing a book about my dad, called: A Daughter's Reflections. She encouraged me, saying she loves my writing. I hope to keep others updated on their brother/uncle, etc., and glad it ministers to them in some small way. I am writing the book for me, as a reminded of dad's journey, containing pictures, and my observations, along the way. I say often, and will recognize those of you who have been of such great help through the valleys. Thank you, all!
Anyway, the visit with dad was good. He was mellow. That's the best way to describe him lately. He can't express himself much at all. I convinced him to go for a walk with me, but he tired. I got a wheelchair for him so I could take him outside into the beautiful warm sunshine, for some fresh air. I wheeled him around the courtyard, and we looked at a fountain and some flowers. Then I wheeled him up onto an accessible swing, that accommodates wheelchairs. A year ago, he would have walked all over with me. The decline becomes more evident everyday. He didn't want to stay out very long. He hasn't like being in the out of doors for some time now. His world has changed, and definitely shrunk. I think he's happiest in his tiny comfort zone, where everything he can see is familiar. Changes bother him greatly.
Then I walked about outside with my FIL. It is such a gorgeous day! So, I did my good daughter deeds for today. I haven't been sleeping real well for some time, and think I hear my pillow calling.
Aims! Here's one: put her in her favorite 'nice' outfit and fold the robe, least ratty side out and put it over her arm. Now she's ready so when she gets there and is all checked in she can put her robe on and relax.
That's how I would like to travel....
Man, everybody has their hands full!
SS, I grieve with you for your Dad and the heavy responsiblility that you carry. It's hard to imagine even handling that kind of stuff but you do and you do it with grace and dignity.
You're right, looking after the best interests of 3 elders with a slew of nasty challenges could make you crazy. Just remember, there is a tropical beach in your future and we will all meet up and laugh and cry together. There will be way more laughing than crying!
Everything is moving along on the business front. I lost my mind with some people on Friday because they are obtuse and my mom is real sick and I just didn't want to hear it. I'll tell you those stories on the boat. It's tragic, really.
Gotta go for now, more later
Love you guys!
lovbob
Hey Bobbie, maybe I'll have all of you guys spread my ashes at sea from the boat! Remember to use the back of the boat, though. Use the front and those headwinds might have me layin' all over the deck! What a damper on the rest of the cruise. lol
Ok. For now, here's what I'm thinking of doing. I need to get the darned thing out of her closet and take a gander at it. I know the zipper needed to be fixed so there's a start. I think I'll make a trip to Michael's or The Hobby Lobby and see what's available to maybe dress it up a bit. I don't know. I don't think I'd be able to put other clothes over top of it and still have it look decent. The robe is floor-length and huge. She's lost so much weight over the last year that she will be swimming in it as it is. Maybe I could take it in some and shorten it up a bit. I notice that she's apparently gotten much shorter too because things that used to come to her ankles now drag on the floor behind her and wrap around her feet. But as is, clothes over top of it would look like she were smuggling blankets or shoplifting. This will apparently be my next project to figure out/work on in all of my imaginary free time. If you think of any more suggestions or ideas, please let me know. Thanks guys!
Amy
Mom does not want people gawking at her after she goes. The one thing us 7 siblings agree on is letting her have her last wishes.
I have wild imaginations about springing him from that place, and taking him "home." But he's wearing Depends, and often refuses care. The thought of a mess while driving down the highway bursts my bubble. And since he's not always compliant, I can't really take him anywhere. So, I just visit. Sometimes I have to make myself go in that nursing home. It can be so depressing sometimes, seeing all those poor people, and watching my FIL with egg pr the last meal on his chin. Gross!
Hubby hasn't been to visit his dad in a while, due to illness. He had the chills last Friday. He wouldn't even eat a cookie I made for an open house. Now that's sick! He's still sick and coughing today, and made a doctor appointment for himself. It's official if he goes to the doctor. Poor hubby. His dad doesn't even ask about him when I visit. At 90, I think he's declining to the point of...well, not remembering to ask why he hasn't visited in a while. I won't offer an excuse unless he asks. Thanks for praying for my hubby. I hope my son and I don't get what he has.
I had a hard time sleeping after two days away. What's happening in my family situation, and my parent's abandoned house 200 miles away is making me sick. I can't control it, but it affects me, and I grieve. Worse is the way they ignore my poor dad. I'm so thankful God gave me the opportunity to have him close by in his final days. It hurts to see him decline, but I am grateful for the opportunity to spend so much time with him, and reassure him he's not alone, and that my hubby, son and I care about him. I hate Alzheimer's! I don't like my mom's mental illness either. Nasty stuff!
Guess I'm so tired, I can't remember: did I post about my dad's brother, SIL and neice coming from CO to MI to see dad? And his sister from 235 miles away? It was a good, but very short visit last week. Dad smiled to see them, but it's so apparent to all of his decline :(
Bobbie, how are things going with you and your mom? How is the estate liquidation/sale going? Do you get homesick for CA while on the East Coast?
Miz, nice to see pictures posted of you and hubby on your trip. Hope it holds wonderful memories for you.
Pamela, sorry to hear about your mom. How are things going? You doing OK?
To everyone, including those I didn't personally address: God bless you and your loved ones.
u could put the old green batty bathrobe down below where nobody can see it , when its time to close the casket you could pull that up to her chest and there shes buried with it .
Shouldn't we all be superheroes by now?! LOL
Amy
Amy
Miz, looking forward to reading more about your trip.
I just got in an hour ago from mine. Went down to my folk's house, to find things astir again. It's always something... The alarm system was disabled, and some other things were askew. Don't know who is doing that, but probably the same people who took all the antiques and silver... my nice family :( and it makes me crazy.
I am preparing for the end, too. God Dad's suit cleaned and put away, just in case. And shoes, and paperwork. I want to be prepared, and not have to rush around with those things when I'm in shock with grief. Hoping that day is far off, but dad is declining. So is my FIL, who eats with his eyes closed. At 90, he can do whatever he wants, but that is bizarre. Is he too old and tired to keep them open anymore? He does sleep a lot. So does my dad. Then there's mom...who was in her usual form last week, with great mental challenges. Looking out the for best interests of 3 elders is quite the chore. I dream of the beach. Someday... For now, I'm just glad to be home.
teristeve, thanks for the support. Like everyone taking care of one parent I am amazed at y'all taking care of TWO. omg. I'm trying to imagine it but oh my.
If Sara wasn't here I would be ska-rooed. She's in there with mom right now singing to her. She patiently puts food in and it's working!. Mom is better today than she was yesterday and her body is working well. I know because she smacked me in the titty when I leaned in too close.
Deef's mom and Amy's Grandma, Whatta pair! Thelma and Louise. I think that they both should be on Oprah.
Hey Miz Demi!!
Thanks baby doll. that's kind of what I was thinking, that at this tough time she could give it a break and give me a break. It just shows who she is. When your mom is in bad shape and you think she's checking out and then this lady wants to make it about herself. Unbelievable to me.
Oh well just goes to show, You have one mom! and I got to spend some great times with my mom and I've only had my chops busted by the auntie.
Miz! Glad to hear that you're going to get where the boat is! We got us some plans now don't we Sailors! Who else is in?
I asked Sara to stay with me for a month after...... you know, when the time comes and she said yes. I think I'm going to be a basket case and could really do with some help.
Thanks so much for the support you guys. This is indeed the toughest thing I have ever done and you guys really help make it manageable.
More later,
lovbob