Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Deefer, I'm glad to hear that grandma's not the only one that's pregnant. lol Her ER doc was very good about it. When she told him, he offered to call Oprah. Said they could all be rich when that story hit. Except that then grandma was so excited that she was gonna meet Oprah! Luckily she forgot all about the Oprah part about half an hour later as we moved on to bigger and better crazies. I find that most of the time, I enjoy my visits with her more now that alot of the 24/7 weight has been lifted but with the UTI visit I also found that apparently you do get desensitized to it by being around it all of the time. I had a much harder time dealing with the hysterics and aggression that night than I would have a month ago. Just not as immune to it as I was when she was here and I dealt with it all of the time. I guess it has its ups and downs. Just think how much you'll appreciate your retirement after all you've been through. You deserve it!
Giles, Know what you mean about UTI's. Mom gets them all the time, and boy does she get loopy!!! It usually takes a couple of BAD days before the light goes on and I realize what's going on. By the way, Mom thinks she is pregnant all the time! I have to change her before I go to bed every night, or she is soaked right through. Twice now, I have woken her up and she has told me she just gave birth. It's very real to them, and hard to explain that the last time they had sex, was probably in the last century! My mom has some whopper stories and excuses for why she doesn't or can't do something, just like your gram. It's better to laugh and make fun of their antics, then let them get to you. I'm so glad you got out from under the 24/7. I know Mom will maybe last another year at home, at best. In the meantime, I look forward to the day I can enjoy my old age, the way we are supposed to!
teristeve, Wow, not sure how you guys do it dealing with more than one parent at a time. I thought I had my hands full with just one. We go through alot of the same stuff with grandma. She is usually grumpy and VERY critical of EVERYONE else. But she was always that way before the dementia, it's just that now she doesn't have the common sense to keep it to herself. Gets very frustrating and embarrassing at times. She sit at the dinner table at the place and tells me all the faults of the people at the table with them sitting right there with us. This one can't hold a conversation, this one doesn't know who or where she is, this one spits when she talks, this one smells funny........I feel like reminding her that although any of those may be true......they're NOT DEAF and do have feelings. The sad part is that on any given day, grandma is just as confused or spits just as much as the rest of them but she never mentions that. Sometimes I think that the hardest part about dealing with dementia victims is that they have no clue that they have it. Like trying to help someone that doesn't think they need helped. It's tough. I've found that when she gets in her critical, negative, complaining moods it's easiest for me to just nod and shake my head and say oh, wow, really...in a very uninterested way. I learned the hard way that trying to correct her or tell her it's not nice only makes her worse but if I half-heartedly go along with it, kind of ignoring it while going along with it, she soon sees that it's falling of deaf ears and that I'm not interested in talking about negative things and she simmers down. If she wants to "talk" to me as in "hold a conversation", she will have to choose more positive topics. Sometimes with older folks, it helps to bring up the happier days of the far past with them when they get in one of those funks. Most of them tend to remember "the good old days" even if they don't remember what they did 5 minutes ago. If ignoring it doesn't seem to work this time, I nonchalantly change the subject by asking her something specific about her younger happier days and usually this works. She starts thinking about her carefree youth instead of dwelling on her current condition. Just play around with different tactics to see which one works for them, if any. Somedays nothing you do will change anything but it's worth a try.
Bob, You really amaze me with your patience and stamina. I don't think I will be able to care for Mom or Dad when they get this far along. Dad's dementia is getting worse fast and the doctor just put him on Zoloft to help with his anger, combativeness, frustration level and his depression. His mood swing s seem to be getting better but he sleeps more often now. He is still falling and passing out. Noone seems to know why. He has been thru every kind of test. ??? Mom's alz is just making her meaner and more agressive. She is having more down days than up. Always unhappy, compaining, critical of everything and everybody. Wish I could see some joy in her once in a while. I know it is the disease and mostly not her (she has always been controlling and critical). I keep doing as much reading and research as I have time for. Reading your contributions helps me see the light!! Thanks
thank you all so much for your prayers and support. you guys are awesome.
giles, I'm sorry about all of your grandma tribulations and thank you and everybody for reminding me about the bounce back time that it's going to take for mama. giles, you are funny and I hope your grandma doesn't hurt herself and keep you up all night again but I do hope you have more stories. I can see everybody standing with their hands up and it's getting me silly every time.
Miz! so happy you and your hus had a good time and so happy you guys didn't try and monkey with that tire in the middle of all that traffic. I'm a big believer in AAA too. Love you back!!
SS we;ll see you when you get back and thank you for the especially lovely post with your support. It made me cry.
teristeve, you are a genius. Love the Stress Lecture. how true.
Linda and Tennessee, Thanks for the reminders.
Hey Maxine, what are you up to? Anybody seen Pamela around? Where's that Pirate?
You guys are way better than family... and I know I forgot a few!! please forgive me. Mom is doing better now than she was the past few days. We have to show her how to open her mouth so we can get the food in.
She had stopped eating so I got all Juniors foods and made a protein drink with Benefiber.. the clear stuff that totally dissolves and blueberry smoothie so she would have healing protein and the ability to keep her system going. And Boy, is that working. I didn't tell Sara that I was giving mom fiber and apparently mom really showed her a trick this morning.
All Sara and I have been doing is putting food into mom. , water, Kefir, yogurt, rice pudding, mashed potatoes, you get it. She's forgetting how to chew and sara or I sit there and show her how to open her mouth wide and chew and she's getting a little of it back. she just ate half a banana and she wanted to hold it and when I helped her hand get it to her mouth she was pushing back at me. I said, that's the disease trying to get one over on you, just let me help your hand and she did and we got the banana in her mouth and by reflex, when she bit the banana she began to chew it.
There's a little howling going on because Sara is changing her and when mom gets moved she howls. I can hear Sara talking to her and telling her what's going to happen and mom is getting a little easier with it but still will let out a howl now and again. BRB big howl.
All good, Sara just changing her position. Mom isn't getting hurt, she's just scared to move. Sara is very gentle.
Still haven't written back to my aunt/birthmother (mom's baby sister). Just don't know what to say to the mean stuff except %&**@#!!.
wow amy ! u sure have ur hands full weither ure with her or not . lordy lord . hope she settles down and dont need to go back to er again . man that s a nightmare getting up wee early am and go tend to her . bless your heart..
Thought I'd share an update about my last week with you all. Maybe it will brighten your day a bit. So we moved grandma into a private care home just over 2 wks ago. We thought that along with being better for her, it may also be a little easier on us as well. Guess what?! Wrong! To some degree, I should say. It's not so much that it is or isn't easier, it's just that I get to go home to a life in between dealing with it. But I've been to the ER with her 3 times now since she moved in. Twice just this past week. Her first night at the place, she rolled out of bed and bashed her face off of the nitestand. No major injuries, sent her right back home and she bounced back nicely. On Mother's Day I noticed that her dementia was more prevelent in the early afternoon when it usually doesn't rear it's ugly head til early evening. Monday morning breakfast didn't go well. Her pancakes had arms and kept taking her fork out of her hands. I hate it when that happens. So Tues. she finally got her new roommate but unfortunately, the dementia was still bad and I noticed right away that she was very suspicious of her and didn't like the poor woman. I spoke to the nurses but they weren't too alarmed. Tues. evening I got a call that grandma had gone unresponsive at dinner and they thought maybe she was having a stroke. Asked if they should call an ambulance or if I wanted to come and get her. Told them to call the bus and I'd meet them at the ER. Got there and........no ambulance. Waited........still no ambulance. The place calls me on my cell and asks if I'd come over and either coax her into the car with me or talk her into letting the paramedics put her on the stretcher. Got there to find that grandma "had her guns out" with arms outstretched and fingers pointed. Both EMT's, the paramedic, the aides and the administrator all had their hands up and their legs spread. God bless them all. They were trying to go along with as much as possible so as to not aggitate her further and they didn't want to frighten her by physically restraining her to get her in the ambulance but I had to hold back a giggle when I walked into that scene. Needless to say, I couldn't get her coaxed into the car and after 15 minutes of trying to reason with insanity, after she "shot" every last one of us ( "blowing us all to hell") and grabbed the poor unsuspecting EMT in the crotch............they decided that it was time to just lift her on the stretcher and away we went. And that was just the beginning of the evening! She wouldn't allow anyone in the ER to touch her without a fight. Wouldn't even let them put the armband on her. She was "with child" and was afraid they were gonna do something to hurt the baby. The nurse asked her if she has any pain or if she's had any pain in the last few days. Grandma says yeah...it burns when I pee. It hit me like a sledge hammer to the head. Duuuhhhh. For those who don't recall....grandma ALWAYS gets UTI's. Hasn't had one since January or February and with her not being with me 24/7 anymore, I didn't pick up on the signs. Told them what to check for so they wanted a urine sample. Perfect, cause she's doin' the peepee dance as we speak. Grabbed the bedpan, put it in place, she does her thing, everyone's excited as to how well that went in the midst of all her craziness......and they pull out the bedpan to find that the sample is "contaminated"! "Soiled", if ya know what I mean. All I could do was laugh. What else ya gonna do. They ran every other test under the sun but the most important was the urinealysis and now we have to wait for her to have to pee again. Great! Everything else comes back negative but they can't figure out why she's going unresponsive. It's like she would just go limp and almost coma-like all of a sudden. They decided to admit her and eventually had to do a cath on her to get urine because she assured us all that there was a bomb in her bladder and it didn't mix well with the plastic they use to make bedpans. For 8 hours the woman held her bladder, refusing to pee because she was absolutely sure that if she let out even one little dribble.....the whole ER was gonna explode. Her words, yet again that evening, "I'm not gonna be the one responsible for blowing everyone to hell!" Makes me wonder how long it's been going on in her head like this. Maybe she's been holding it, afraid to pee, and that's why she has the infection. She was completely neurotic and psychotic for the nurses on her floor after they admitted her and I finally stumbled home to bed at 5:30 am. They released her Thursday morning and I got her settled back into the place with no problem. Went to be early that night to try and play catchup on some sleep. Phone rang at 3:30 am. Grandma fell trying to go to the bathroom by herself. She told them she thought she broke her arm. They called the ambulance and I met them at the ER. She hadn't even been out of the hospital for 24 hrs yet. Geez! Nothing broken so they put a sling on her arm and sent her home. Sounds easy enough but it still took 5 hours. uggh. Tired. So many emotions within such a short span of time. It makes my head spin. One minute I'm terrified because she's lying there looking dead, except for the slow shallow breaths. Next minute, complete and utter sympathy because the woman actually believes in her demented mind that she is pregnant and is beside herself that someone is gonna cause her to lose the baby. Next, absolute weariness, frustration, and anger because she's to knot-headed and stubborn to pull her call string and ask for help when she has 24 hr staff to wait on her every beck and call. I wouldn't be so upset if I thought that she "forgets" that it's there or how to work it but she flat out admits that it's just because she doesn't want to bother them. I really should be flattered that she was comfortable enough with me to not mind inconveniencing me every 30 minutes all night long but it just so happened to rub me the wrong way under the lack of sleep. I'm a big enough person to admit that it ticked me off! LOL So now she's back at the place, treated for her infection, her arm wasn't broken...just sprained. I had a long talk with the girls that work there to tell them what to watch for and what signs mean what. Hopefully this was just a bump in the road and everything smooths out soon. They've assured me that although she seems to have settled there very quickly, that it does take time. In time, my hope is that they'll get to know her as well as I do and that she'll get familiar enough with them to ask for the help that she needs. For now she'll just have to settle for complaining daily to me about the girls being obsessed with her peeing habits. She says they're incessant....did you pee?....how much?.....did it burn?......do you still feel like you have to go?.....and I just smile because I know that they're doing their job! Let it up to grandma to add a little spice and life to the place in the short amount of time she's been there. Ambulances, pee bombs, and guns blazing! Sometimes, just for the flicker of a second, I think I miss the entertainment..............and then I decide NO, I don't! LOL For all of you having a rough day today, just be glad that your parent isn't pregnant and that you haven't been "blown to hell" yet today. ;)
Hey everyone, it's been awhile since I've been able to post. Was a long week and i think it took me 3 hours to catch up on all of the posts that I missed. Wow!
Miz, glad your trip went well. Thank God for AAA! Don't leave home without it. haha. When I read your "mucus" post awhile back, I just had to laugh out loud. Have any of you seen the second Ace Ventura Pet Detective movie "When Nature Calls"? When he's sitting in the tent with the village chief and they get into the spitting contest? As they leave the tent, Jim Carey's character says, "It's the mucus that binds us!" hahaha. Instantly thought of that when I read your post. :)
Deefer, congrats on you and your hubby dieting and to your success at it. I'm envious. I so want to lose weight and be healthier but just can't find the motivation and willpower to do it. I just feel so stressed and so DRAINED all of the time that excersizing or watching what I eat is the farthest thing from my mind. I'm always afraid that if I were to even try it right now that I would be setting myself up for a sure failure. But I know that that is just an excuse. And i know that I'd feel much better and have more energy if I just did it. I'm so proud of you. Maybe you're the inspiration that I need to get started!
Tennessee, As for the lawyers that you're dealing with: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits! The may think they are so smart and so ruthless now but someday they will all find themselves standing in front of the pearly gates and I don't think they're gonna like the verdict. And God doesn't grant appeals! Meanwhile, God has reserved a special place called the "caregivers wing" for all of us and you know where it's located? Directly above the pearly gates so that we can all sit at our window and bid those bloodsucking attorneys (and bloodsucking family members, for that matter) adeau as we watch the back of their heads descend down the escalator to a more southern location with a much HOTTER climate!
Bobbie, so glad that you and your mom made it! and glad to here that she's hitting it off with Sarah, too. Those two things alone must take a huge weight off your shoulders. So sad to hear about her not doing as well now but it may just be that she's having a bad day (or two) and that this too shall pass. Grandma does that all the time. She'll have some really good ones and then for no apparent reason, she'll have a bad day to where the dementia starts early and is twice as bad, bringing with it a very negative attitude and much suspicion toward EVERYONE. She always seems so much weaker on these days. Lets hope that that's all it is with your mom. At her age and in her condition, it will take her much more time to recover from that trip than it would for us. I've been looking for you all morning......aahh, there you are................WE'RE ON THE BOAT! Hang in there, girl! We're all rooting (and praying) for you both.
Glad to hear about so many of you being out in the gardens! Pennsylvania has had some awfully dreary weather lately and on the nice days.......well, I've been preoccupied with everything else. I don't feel like I was able to enjoy Spring this year and before I know it, it will be Summer. My neighbor gave me a garden gnome to put in my front flowerbed and after catching up on all of these posts, I think of all of my great caregiver friends every time I look at it.
Hope all of you are making it through today with some semblence of sanity today. That's my "goal of the day".
I'm back. :) We had a wonderful time!! The only bad thing was hubby hit a rock with the left front tire and it went flat in heavy traffic. He pulled over to the shoulder but we were in a very dangerous place with traffic flying by. Thank goodness I have AAA and they came very quickly and took us to a tire place and they were very nice and pretty fast too. The AAA guy was very nice too. I feel like all I did was eat. We stopped on the way back at the world's largest truck stop. That was cool. Very nice gift shop and even a dentist for the truckers. I haven't read the posts that I missed but I will try. I am exhausted today. Just going to do laundry and hang out with Mom. She did well while we were gone. :) I hope you all are well.
Just wanted to share with you that I'm traveling solo, to the home of youth for the next few days. Hope all is well with all of you. Will try to post when able. Take care, everyone!
Bobbie, I know any kind of change sets my mom off course for days. Your mom just went through a MAJOR change. Give her a couple more days, then call her doctor. Maybe she has a UTI, or something else going on. Had the usual lousy weekend here. It was beautiful weather up here in Mass., but as usual, none of my siblings showed up so my husband and I could get out to enjoy it! Even the aide was an hour late on Sunday. That really pissed me off! The only bright side is, my husband and I joined Weight Watchers Online a week and a half ago. We can't get to meetings because of obvious reasons. The good news is, he has lost 11lbs. and I have lost 6! He hasn't been able to lose that much in years. Typical man, needs the diet for dummy's that does all the work for you. It's working for me, because we are eating the same way. Our blood pressure is already dropping significantly. I'm also trying to exercise every day. I seem to be sleeping a lot better with the exercise and no junk food! I have to say, a bag of chips would taste good right now!!!!. Hope the rest of you are well, and had a good weekend.
bobbie , it could be part of dementia . plus all that traveling and over whelm begin back home , my dad would look like he s dying for few days then he would bounce back up and acts like he s fine old man . sure hope and pray that ur mother will bounce back like my pa did . ure good person bobbie ... ss bet it made ur day to find all the messages in ur profile , its meant to save it for the speical day , wink . i am going to ck mine now lol . xoxo
A note to: Bobbie, Miz, Piratess, Pamela, Linda, et al (and many more). I went to my profile page last night, only to discover there were many messages from many of you there. Somehow, the notifications of postings were not coming to me...since March! I was not purposely ignoring anyone, and found so much love and support on my wall. I was overwhelmed by your messages. Thank you all dear fellow caregivers! You touched my heart. God bless you all!
Hi Bobbie, know that your mom, and you, are being prayed for. Sorry to hear it. Rejoice in knowing you are a wonderful daughter, who took her mom to her home. God be with you there.
This is great advice for a lot of great friends who need lots of breaks:
Stress
A lecturer when explaining Stress management to an audience, Raised a glass of water and asked 'How heavy is this glass of water?'
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'
He continued, 'And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, As the burden becomes increasingly heavy, We won't be able to carry on. '
'As with the glass of water, You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.' 'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, Let them down for a moment if you can.' So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, And some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, Just in case you have to eat them.
Keep in mind that you are all doing the best you can do and that is all anyone can ever ask of us!! Love hearing about your lives!!
deefer12 . you re so lucky to have found a perfect woman thats willin to be part ofthe family . i told my dad this morning that a guy is comin out to talk to me tmr at 3 . that i will only need them if my kids are not aviable to take my place . he didnt seem to like the idea , then he mumble something about a nice nursing home . i said u wanna go back to nursing home or u rather stay here ? he said oh stay here hahaha .
The CNA that helps me with Mom, was working at the nh where Mom was for a month last year. She lost her position to job cuts when a new company took over. She recognized me in Walmart and told me she had lost her job and if I ever needed help, to call her. I checked her out through a few nurses at the nh and she was highly recommended. I calle dher after Mom came home and I found I couldn't handle her alone anymore. That was the beginning of a beautiful relationship with a very caring person, and it helped her out when she needed the money. It has been almost a year that we have had Merry, and couldn't be happier! She really cares about Mom, and has 15 years experience with alz and dementia patients. You never know who will pop up. Good luck finding someone.
Hi Everyone!! My wonderful shipmates, etc. :) We're leaving in the wee hours of the morning. Hubby's getting the rental car. Mom wanted to know why so I had to tell her. She's taking it 'okay'. Says 4 days is a long time. Keeps asking who will be with her. I need a drink. I don't drink so I'll take my meds and smoke cigs. ;) Man I'm stressed!! Hubby says that's not good. Says I'm getting away to get away from stress for awhile and I'm stressed. Oh well. I love my mom and want her to be happy. But everyone needs a break now and again. Right? Right. Okay, gonna go back in with her. I'm sure I'll be fine once we're on the road. I'll call her at least once a day of course. Love yous!! Doubt I will be able to get on-line there. Love yous!! (Yes, I said it twice.)
where did u find sara at ? i am going to try find me a caregiver that will come into my home for few hrs a day so i can go out and about . i called this place and theyre coming friday so then i could go from there . i told em i need a babysitter but i mean adult sitter. i am funny about havin strangers in my home , but heck ! i need to go out and about . but then again 20 bucks an hr i dont know . :-(
mom and Sara and I just had a great conversation where I congratulated mom on being brave and courageous and you could see in her bright blue eyes that she was in there! I told her that the ten weeks she spent in respite care worked! and that I was strong enough to get us home and Sara is here for us.
I agree about moms being at home. I'm so happy she's here and she's all lit up and sleeping hanging on to the remote. Yup... she's home! You go try and get that thing away from her! Pull back a stump!
Mom and Sara are in love. Sara and I were trying to get mom to take a pill and mom got her 'mom' face on and croaked out 'go away' . the first 2 words my mom strings together. The first is Go and the second is Away.
Of course I took umbrage and grumbled and mumbled and kicked my foot and I left to the sounds of mom and Sara laughing. I am so thrilled that they like each other! Today when mom was fully conscious as opposed to last night when she was beat tired, I introduced her to Sara again and when I said: She lives here! Right across the hall! Mom's face lit up bigger than I have ever seen it because she's cognizant of her condition and is grateful for the help. Sara is a tiny Turkish lady and let me tell you, she knows some tricks. mom had a wet diaper in bed and we didn't want to stress her out by getting her up and Sara said, i got this and 15 minutes later mom was clean and shiny, the bed was changed and bing bam boom.
The next thing that happened was mom THEN thought that I was leaving and she got anxious over that. I figured it out and I told her I'm here kiddo. you've got both of us and she laughed out loud and giggled and smiled a mile wide.
I told her that I would be going here and there for a few days at a time but no worries. Then I said: you want me to go get the boat don'tcha? O yes! she's looking forward to that boat, for sure.
Now here's the kicker: When I told her that Sara would be coming with us on the boat, we had to change her diaper. mom laughed so hard that she well you know.
Mom's a trip and I am so happy she's happy.
Conclusion: i still believe that it's a job for professionals and I'm so happy that I was able to find someone whithout going through an agency and paying through the nose. and yes, like Pamela says it's better for them to be at home.
Bobbi what a trooper you are and what a gift to your Mom to get her back home. Am I being paronoid for being upset my Mom critized my gift to her the last two years she loved -it was an edible arrangement -so it was big she could share it with my sister and her neighbors in her apartment complex or just friken eat it-I know you guys will tell me the truth not what you think I want to hear-it has me really upset-I guess we did not bring her up as well as we should have-Maxine here hi everyone now that summer is here or suppose to be I have been outside a lot the husband has almost been gone a year poor God having to put up with him.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mom has some whopper stories and excuses for why she doesn't or can't do something, just like your gram. It's better to laugh and make fun of their antics, then let them get to you. I'm so glad you got out from under the 24/7. I know Mom will maybe last another year at home, at best. In the meantime, I look forward to the day I can enjoy my old age, the way we are supposed to!
Mom's alz is just making her meaner and more agressive. She is having more down days than up. Always unhappy, compaining, critical of everything and everybody. Wish I could see some joy in her once in a while. I know it is the disease and mostly not her (she has always been controlling and critical). I keep doing as much reading and research as I have time for. Reading your contributions helps me see the light!! Thanks
wow it is great to see everybody here!
thank you all so much for your prayers and support. you guys are awesome.
giles, I'm sorry about all of your grandma tribulations and thank you and everybody for reminding me about the bounce back time that it's going to take for mama.
giles, you are funny and I hope your grandma doesn't hurt herself and keep you up all night again but I do hope you have more stories.
I can see everybody standing with their hands up and it's getting me silly every time.
Miz! so happy you and your hus had a good time and so happy you guys didn't try and monkey with that tire in the middle of all that traffic. I'm a big believer in AAA too. Love you back!!
SS we;ll see you when you get back and thank you for the especially lovely post with your support. It made me cry.
teristeve, you are a genius. Love the Stress Lecture. how true.
Linda and Tennessee, Thanks for the reminders.
Hey Maxine, what are you up to? Anybody seen Pamela around? Where's that Pirate?
You guys are way better than family... and I know I forgot a few!! please forgive me.
Mom is doing better now than she was the past few days. We have to show her how to open her mouth so we can get the food in.
She had stopped eating so I got all Juniors foods and made a protein drink with Benefiber.. the clear stuff that totally dissolves and blueberry smoothie so she would have healing protein and the ability to keep her system going. And Boy, is that working. I didn't tell Sara that I was giving mom fiber and apparently mom really showed her a trick this morning.
All Sara and I have been doing is putting food into mom. , water, Kefir, yogurt, rice pudding, mashed potatoes, you get it. She's forgetting how to chew and sara or I sit there and show her how to open her mouth wide and chew and she's getting a little of it back. she just ate half a banana and she wanted to hold it and when I helped her hand get it to her mouth she was pushing back at me. I said, that's the disease trying to get one over on you, just let me help your hand and she did and we got the banana in her mouth and by reflex, when she bit the banana she began to chew it.
There's a little howling going on because Sara is changing her and when mom gets moved she howls. I can hear Sara talking to her and telling her what's going to happen and mom is getting a little easier with it but still will let out a howl now and again. BRB big howl.
All good, Sara just changing her position. Mom isn't getting hurt, she's just scared to move. Sara is very gentle.
Still haven't written back to my aunt/birthmother (mom's baby sister). Just don't know what to say to the mean stuff except %&**@#!!.
I think I just ordered a pizza in Swahili.
lovbob
lordy lord . hope she settles down and dont need to go back to er again . man that s a nightmare getting up wee early am and go tend to her .
bless your heart..
miz
"When I was younger, all I wanted was a nice BMW. Now, I don't care about the W."
"I asked my wife if old men wear boxers or briefs. She said....depends!"
Hope everyone's having a great day!
Amy
Amy
Miz, glad your trip went well. Thank God for AAA! Don't leave home without it. haha. When I read your "mucus" post awhile back, I just had to laugh out loud. Have any of you seen the second Ace Ventura Pet Detective movie "When Nature Calls"? When he's sitting in the tent with the village chief and they get into the spitting contest? As they leave the tent, Jim Carey's character says, "It's the mucus that binds us!" hahaha. Instantly thought of that when I read your post. :)
Deefer, congrats on you and your hubby dieting and to your success at it. I'm envious. I so want to lose weight and be healthier but just can't find the motivation and willpower to do it. I just feel so stressed and so DRAINED all of the time that excersizing or watching what I eat is the farthest thing from my mind. I'm always afraid that if I were to even try it right now that I would be setting myself up for a sure failure. But I know that that is just an excuse. And i know that I'd feel much better and have more energy if I just did it. I'm so proud of you. Maybe you're the inspiration that I need to get started!
Tennessee, As for the lawyers that you're dealing with: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their armpits! The may think they are so smart and so ruthless now but someday they will all find themselves standing in front of the pearly gates and I don't think they're gonna like the verdict. And God doesn't grant appeals! Meanwhile, God has reserved a special place called the "caregivers wing" for all of us and you know where it's located? Directly above the pearly gates so that we can all sit at our window and bid those bloodsucking attorneys (and bloodsucking family members, for that matter) adeau as we watch the back of their heads descend down the escalator to a more southern location with a much HOTTER climate!
Bobbie, so glad that you and your mom made it! and glad to here that she's hitting it off with Sarah, too. Those two things alone must take a huge weight off your shoulders. So sad to hear about her not doing as well now but it may just be that she's having a bad day (or two) and that this too shall pass. Grandma does that all the time. She'll have some really good ones and then for no apparent reason, she'll have a bad day to where the dementia starts early and is twice as bad, bringing with it a very negative attitude and much suspicion toward EVERYONE. She always seems so much weaker on these days. Lets hope that that's all it is with your mom. At her age and in her condition, it will take her much more time to recover from that trip than it would for us. I've been looking for you all morning......aahh, there you are................WE'RE ON THE BOAT! Hang in there, girl! We're all rooting (and praying) for you both.
Glad to hear about so many of you being out in the gardens! Pennsylvania has had some awfully dreary weather lately and on the nice days.......well, I've been preoccupied with everything else. I don't feel like I was able to enjoy Spring this year and before I know it, it will be Summer. My neighbor gave me a garden gnome to put in my front flowerbed and after catching up on all of these posts, I think of all of my great caregiver friends every time I look at it.
Hope all of you are making it through today with some semblence of sanity today. That's my "goal of the day".
Amy
love,
miz
will be thinking of you .
Praying for you, Bobbie, and your mom.
Had the usual lousy weekend here. It was beautiful weather up here in Mass., but as usual, none of my siblings showed up so my husband and I could get out to enjoy it! Even the aide was an hour late on Sunday. That really pissed me off!
The only bright side is, my husband and I joined Weight Watchers Online a week and a half ago. We can't get to meetings because of obvious reasons. The good news is, he has lost 11lbs. and I have lost 6! He hasn't been able to lose that much in years. Typical man, needs the diet for dummy's that does all the work for you. It's working for me, because we are eating the same way. Our blood pressure is already dropping significantly. I'm also trying to exercise every day. I seem to be sleeping a lot better with the exercise and no junk food! I have to say, a bag of chips would taste good right now!!!!.
Hope the rest of you are well, and had a good weekend.
my dad would look like he s dying for few days then he would bounce back up and acts like he s fine old man .
sure hope and pray that ur mother will bounce back like my pa did .
ure good person bobbie ...
ss bet it made ur day to find all the messages in ur profile , its meant to save it for the speical day , wink . i am going to ck mine now lol . xoxo
Ow. mom not doing so good. say a prayer for her please.
Been a tough week.
Hope everybody is doing well.
lovbob
Thanks for that sweet reminder!
Stress
A lecturer when explaining Stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked
'How heavy is this glass of water?'
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem..
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'
He continued,
'And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won't be able to carry on. '
'As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again..
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'
'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.'
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
And some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.
Keep in mind that you are all doing the best you can do and that is all anyone can ever ask of us!! Love hearing about your lives!!
i told my dad this morning that a guy is comin out to talk to me tmr at 3 . that i will only need them if my kids are not aviable to take my place .
he didnt seem to like the idea , then he mumble something about a nice nursing home . i said u wanna go back to nursing home or u rather stay here ? he said oh stay here hahaha .
It has been almost a year that we have had Merry, and couldn't be happier! She really cares about Mom, and has 15 years experience with alz and dementia patients. You never know who will pop up. Good luck finding someone.
love,
miz
i called this place and theyre coming friday so then i could go from there . i told em i need a babysitter but i mean adult sitter.
i am funny about havin strangers in my home , but heck ! i need to go out and about . but then again 20 bucks an hr i dont know . :-(
Thanks for the support guys!
mom and Sara and I just had a great conversation where I congratulated mom on being brave and courageous and you could see in her bright blue eyes that she was in there! I told her that the ten weeks she spent in respite care worked! and that I was strong enough to get us home and Sara is here for us.
I agree about moms being at home. I'm so happy she's here and she's all lit up and sleeping hanging on to the remote. Yup... she's home! You go try and get that thing away from her! Pull back a stump!
Mom and Sara are in love. Sara and I were trying to get mom to take a pill and mom got her 'mom' face on and croaked out 'go away' . the first 2 words my mom strings together. The first is Go and the second is Away.
Of course I took umbrage and grumbled and mumbled and kicked my foot and I left to the sounds of mom and Sara laughing. I am so thrilled that they like each other! Today when mom was fully conscious as opposed to last night when she was beat tired, I introduced her to Sara again and when I said: She lives here! Right across the hall!
Mom's face lit up bigger than I have ever seen it because she's cognizant of her condition and is grateful for the help.
Sara is a tiny Turkish lady and let me tell you, she knows some tricks. mom had a wet diaper in bed and we didn't want to stress her out by getting her up and Sara said, i got this and 15 minutes later mom was clean and shiny, the bed was changed and bing bam boom.
The next thing that happened was mom THEN thought that I was leaving and she got anxious over that. I figured it out and I told her I'm here kiddo. you've got both of us and she laughed out loud and giggled and smiled a mile wide.
I told her that I would be going here and there for a few days at a time but no worries. Then I said: you want me to go get the boat don'tcha? O yes! she's looking forward to that boat, for sure.
Now here's the kicker: When I told her that Sara would be coming with us on the boat, we had to change her diaper. mom laughed so hard that she well you know.
Mom's a trip and I am so happy she's happy.
Conclusion: i still believe that it's a job for professionals and I'm so happy that I was able to find someone whithout going through an agency and paying through the nose.
and yes, like Pamela says it's better for them to be at home.
I'll check in later and love you guys,
lovbob