Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Deefer I agree. For a long time I thought my mom should have gone to a NH but I've since changed my entire thought on that. My mom deserves to be in her home where her surroundings are what she knows. She should be comfortable there for as long as she needs to be. NO matter what happens, we will make sure she stays in her home safe and comfortable. She deserves that.
Hey Bobbi, Glad you and your mom are back home. No matter what anyone says, that's the best place for the ones we are caring for. It can be awful at times for us, but one can only hope that our loved ones will keep us in familiar surroundings for as long as they can, when our time comes. Can you really see the boats on the water from your window? That must be so peaceful! Give Mom a few days to acclimate. I'll bet she rallies after it sinks in that she is HOME!!!
Wow Bobbie you've really had a time haven't you. You are a trooper though and I salute you.
I have to go back and read about everyone's else's stories so forgive me for being late, I've been busy busy busy but I'm going to read up on everyone.
If you all get a spare moment, I posted a new boat pic on poco. Still thinking of boats and the beach :) Hope its smooth sailing for you all, despite the storms. Remember who calms the raging seas.
Awww. Thanks, Bobbie. Wow, what a post. So sorry for all you're going through with your birth person. Sad. Punish the victim. What a life! O, too familiar!
SS, I'm so sorry you dad is declining like that and yes it is hard to be around. sux. I hope you know that when you are around you represent his joy. It's a tough job. You're an angel and a sweetheart!
Mom is still sleeping and our kitchen is in pieces (guy was supposed to have it finished, but hey! that's construction) and I'm about to go to the Acme to pick up this and that.
Sara the caregiver is a stitch and we will be working together to get this house polished and taking care of mom.
What I didn't tell you last night: Mom went up a flight of stairs! She was having trouble figuring out how to use a stair and after about 10 minutes (she was SO tired) I said, Mom!! C'mon and let's go up the stairs and go to bed!! BED!?! Oh now that's a different story. So my g/f Heather and I and Sara got mom to walk up the stairs and she came into her room and after a quick scrub of the important areas: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Sara said: what time does mommy get up? and i said she'll get up when her stomach growls! We keep checking on her and she is sleeping the sleep of a warrior who knows he's safe.
MiZ!! Tomorrow's YOUR day! And your beloved husband! Remember the outline of the get-away plan? Just let me know if there's tire squealing involved because I live for that stuff! Have a great time and you know that we're all here prayin away and you also know that SS has GOT THE HOOKUP in the prayer department.
Well I have another giant email from the aunt/birthmother and I haven't had the energy to read it yet and boy that stuff wears me out.
Tell me Sailors: if you said you loved me and you understood me, would you pile on my back a lot of awful crap right when my stress levels were at their highest and you knew it? I talked to her on Sunday and she knew exactly what I was going through and how hard it was and how exhausted I was/am and yet she still chose to send that lousy letter to me knowing that it would upset me. consequently i had no sleep the night before because she is still my birth mother and that stuff upsets me
Adopted people have abandonment issues, it just goes with the territory. I read up on all of that so I would know why I was feeling a certain way and that worked for me. Aunt/birthmother gave me up the first time and I'm very happy she did because I would have not wanted to live with her. However, since I figured out that she was my birth mother when I was in my 30's, she has given me up by way of nasty letters ... I have no idea of how many times. If I saved crap like that I would have a stack of them. Thankfully I don't. She thinks my letter is full of 'hatred and bitterness' and I swear that's not true. It's full of anger and believe you me there's a difference. I don't take time to hate, as it were, I just disengage.
Maybe I should post it all and you guys tell me if I'm an A**H*** or just tired of being attacked over and over by a hypocrite. Besides you know what they say: if you're tired of your own drama for a minute, tune into someone elses. Which is why the soaps have been on so long!
Well, we can see that this is really bothering me because I am still referencing it. Thanks sailors for your patience.
Which brings us to the BOAT! Everybody give a positive thought to the smoothness of the transitions here and if all goes well, I should be able to see this particular boat the first week in June. Way more fun thinking about boat than aunt/birthmother. Wish she could just go with the flow...
This boat has 43' masts and a 6' draft so there are places inland that she will not be able to go, however she is a passagemaker and a coastal cruiser so if you guys can make it to anywhere there's ocean, we can pick you up!!
Miz: I won't be able to get you in Chicago because we won't fit under the bridges...can't leave the Lake proper. SS: I don't know yet because I have to learn more (way more) but I think we can get her to you but if we can, Miz can come up there!!
More Coffee Time! Mom is still sleeping and maybe in about an hour we can wake her up, change her, feed her, give her meds and she can sleep some more.
SS, I'm so sorry for the decline and trouble with your FIL and dad. I know how hard it must be. Yes, we're leaving at 4:00 in the morning. I am very excited!! I haven't told Mom yet but may need to when she goes with hubby and I to get the rental van. Hubby's been doing lots around the house. His back is better. His tush was hurting him also but that's better too. It's always something, isn't it? I'm going to try to go to bed by 7:00 tonight. I hope I can sleep. Love yas!!
Bobbie, you get the Caregiver of the month/maybe year award! What an angel for taking your mom home! She sure is blessed to have you. What a treasure she has in you for a daughter. Kudos!
I was thinking she may be disoriented with weariness from travel. Awwww. She's prob exhausted. Wait till she settles in, and has some nourishing meals. Late stage...does she know where she's at? The poor dear. Thanks so much for the praise report! I'm glad you made it safely. Will continue to keep you and your mom in prayer.
FIL is choking and coughing, and it's hard to be around. I wonder if he forgot how to chew and swallow. He chews too much! Guess that's better than the tube feeding he was doing after his stroke. But every bite and drink of water makes him choke.
My dad is really declining verbally. His brother drove to MI from CO this week, and I've been telling dad his brother is coming soon. I am not sure he understands. It is very difficult to discern if he understands anything I say anymore. Sometimes I don't even think he hears me. He still smiles when he sees me, but can't make an intelligible sentence. He's still trying to communicate through non-verbals, though. And he is getting more stooped, physically, but still ambulatory. O, it's hard to see him like this.
Miz, you get to leave in the morning! Are you excited?
Mom is tucked into her own little bed, Sara, the caregiver is tucked into her little bed and I am her still on Cali time. Whatta day! Mom was a trooper and made it all the way and is just too pooped to pop. I hope she gets a good nights sleep and wakes up happy.
Good to see everybody! Pamela!! nice with the trip to Catalina and I understand what you mean with the facial expressions. Sad and worrisome and I keep on trucking like you do. I hear ya!
Deef!! you're a trooper, yes you is and I am so happy that the house is in your name. Heehee.
Pirate! I have seen those piggy banks but never for a new boat!! Sweet. Good to see you as always.
SS, I am telling you that those prayers work! We are here safe and sound and it was REALLY bouncy over Vegas. Love watching those wings flap.
Miz! No WAY you could ever offend us! This is the Grossed Out Thread! What's a little mucus among friends "I got the mucus in me...."
Linda! oooohhhhh with the ALZ. It's a killer. and they do wander around like a ghost. Mom is to the point now where she is forgetting how to walk and chew. Tonight when we got her in bed and then she coughed (indicating that she wants water) and Sara and I went in and said, ok, sit up and she was able to mumble: I forgot how. She forgot how to sit up! It's such a heartbreaker. We got her to sit up and she drank some water and then we tucked her in again.
5 years ago the prognosis was that we would have 3 years until it started to get really bad and we actually made it 4 years but it has gotten worse over the last year and they said in LA that she's late stage which is why I was so desparate to get her home to her own little bed.
Sylvester! (Sylvester's post:) "Toothbrushes are cheap, and so are toiletry bags. You can keep all of your cosmetics, toothbrushes, razors, in this bag, and put it in your bedroom. You obviously are at the early stages in the game"
You never really know who your talking to Sylvester but the caregivers here are hard core and don't take lightly to some FNG telling us that we are 'obviously in the early stages.......'
Are you serious? What's with the snide comment? So the humor went right over your head, you haven't read the thread so you don't know what's up and who are you taking care of?
We're all pretty cool her but won't stand for pissy comments, just so you know..
pirategal , yes i did worry about u when u havent showed up in a while , wink . miz , about that clear mucus , mm i think its ok . ive seen them before and it goes away . hope the office called u back on that one , let us know what they say ..
Harde,...were you worried about me, when I did not show up for awhile? LOL! Just kidding.
Pamela....hows the gardening going...I am off into gardening land as well, but mommo hates it I think down deep. I wish she would enjoy and partake in it.
Def....glad I don't have siblings sometimes for that reason. I always wished I had an older brother when I was a kid. Having someone to share the burden with now would have helped as well..but oh well.
Toothbrushes are cheap, and so are toiletry bags. You can keep all of your cosmetics, toothbrushes, razors, in this bag, and put it in your bedroom. You obviously are at the early stages in the game.
Mom started messing up her bills and checks about 3 years ago. So I have been taking care of all that and her too. My asshole siblings talked about her finances in front of her on Mother's Day while I was gone. Yesterday she was a mess all day from them visiting all at once (5 of them) and talking to each other like she wasn't in the room. Two of them think I'm stealing all of her (their) money. The house is mine as of the first of the year, as are all the bills that go with it. I have no money and can barely keep up with the bills. The bulk of her cash is tied up in an IRA that she started when Dad died 28 years ago. She still wants to pay bills and have money, but would not know what to do with it, or lose it. I keep reassuring her that she has plenty of cash, but being cash poor her whole life, she is always nervous about having money in her hand. We are all in the same boat when it comes to siblings thinking we're stealing from them. I just hope that I can keep Mom home long enough to use it all up on her, so that there's nothing left for them! By the way, my father in law will be celebrating his 100th birthday in July. He had a couple medical emergencies last year, but recovered quickly, still lives alone, and can't wait to turn 100!!!
Hi Everyone. You lovely ladies. :) I have a question and it's under the "gross" category. Mom's stool has some clear mucus on it. Is that cause for concern? I called the doc but they're not back from lunch until 1:30. I hope I haven't offended anyone. ;)
Oh yeah really Naheaton I don't know what more she could want. I really think she's just mad at being in the position she's in. I can understand that though but she will have to tell sis about this, not me. That's between those two, and I'm not involving myself in it, not at all.
Naheaton she asked me to look in her drawer and see what she had. I did, and she had about $10.00 in there. Then she asked me to pass her purse. I did, and she had money in her wallet, about $180.00. Whe does have money, and my sister makes sure of that. She puts the money for the cleaning woman, the gardner, and whatever else she needs too and labels the envelope. Sis is doing a good job, it's just mom doesn't want to relinquish that control. Just wants to be able to sign her own checks I think, and she can still do that but I don't think she voices this to sis and is still trying to keep that wedge between us because we're getting along. I'm not dealing with it, however I do have m0ney for her if she needs it. Not through sis though, only through momz. KNow what I mean.
You know Pam, maybe it's not so much that your mom wants to do her own banking anymore, as it is that she just wants money in her wallet. I was just thinking that having to ask for money to spend would be irritating to me. I make sure my mother-in-law has money in her wallet to blow if she wants to. Even though when we go out, she uses her credit card most of the time, sometimes it's just nice having the green stuff. ha.
welcome back pam , glad u had a good time away from home . i am a worry warts , wink . my dad sleeps alot too , but today he s staying awake . it seems to me he;ll sleep 2 days straight then stays awake 2 days straight , off and on ., hope ur mom gets better .
Ihardebeck thank you for your concern, I appreciate you worrying about me, I know you're sincere, but I'm still above ground :)
Went to Catalina Island for MOther's Day c/o my sons. Had a windy great time, and it was really cold on that boat headed off to the Island. Thank God my best friend and I had LIQUOR stashed. A good time was had by all, and there were 8 of us all together. We truly had a great day.
I went to moms house very early, took her the usual Mother's Day card and some chocolate covered strawberries. She told me to put them in the fridge, I did. Yesterday I went back over to take care of her, and when I asked her why she hadn't eaten them, she said she thought it was cake. Hmmmm I showed them to her but I think her eyesight is going.
Anyway mom sleeps a lot more nowadays, her understanding and comprehension is extremely limited. She keeps asking me what my retirement amount it, so I've just stopped telling her. It's actually not her business anyway, but that's another story.
I was surprised that mom is now asking me about having her checking account back and saying that she wants to sign her own checks and not have to ask anyone for money, since sis is POA. I have a seperate account established for her, just in case anything comes back after she passes. But I told her to be thankful that she doesn't have to worry about writing checks or paying bills, pr anything of that nature. But to my surprise, and I mean it, it is bothering her that she is not in control of her finances. She says sis tells her what she is paying and to whom, but says it isn't the same as doing it herself.
Now really she can say what she wants but I know she would not be able to write any check to anyone and I am glad sis is taking care of it because it's a bear. It just shocks me that mom is still trying to control her finances, and is bothered that she cannot. I guess they never really get over the fact that they are not in control anymore, after being in control for so long, that part of their life is over. They cannot accept it.
Mom is still unpleasant, taking shots at me. There was no escape yesterday as it was cold and we couldn't go outside to garden. I made myself quite busy reading though, and she slept. I did not even bother her I just let her continue to sleep and thought good. She must really be tired.
She hardly smiles, or laughs now and if I can't get her to do that no one can. She has a particular lost look on her face now, it worries me a little. But I keep on trucking.
There seems to be a lot of activity on this thread. TN I'm sorry for the troubles you've had. Certainly when you split on those trips, you needed to and you were entitled too.
Bobbie I'm not sure whats going on with the aunt thing, so I will just wish you good luck.
There are more on here but I'll have to read through but that's not gonna happen right now.
I see that we are still comforting, and caring, and taking whatever is thrown our way trying to deal with the turmoil that surrounds us. As I've said I've addopted an entire new perspective and things don't bother me as much as it did. I had to let go of a lot of annimosity to do this, but I did. What's important while my mom is still here is that she see sis and I getting along and working together. We are doing that now. I don't know what will come after my mom passes, but you best believe I am prepared. I am not fool, and I've learned through you all to be prepared. There is always an alterior plan.
Enough about me, and my episodes. Hope you all are gathering some creative energy and can pass it on to all of us.
ah good to know that pamela went on a trip , thats good , i missed that part so i didnt know . i had my mil here over the weekend , she has alz and its not a fun thing to be around , shes always lost and wantin to get into things , she almost took my husbands meds , luckly i heard her gettin into my husbands drawers , we put up my dad s meds and my husbands meds , she seems to find them some how . found a wet towle smells like piss . she had peed in the towles instead of toilet . always lost . roam thru the house like a ghost lady at all night . wheres the bathroom where is my bed etc . i sure was happy to see her go back home and feel sorry for my bil , he s stressing out bad . i ask her to go lay down and take a nap , she frowned at me said i dont take naps i hate naps ! i said oh realy , man i love naps ! my dad loves naps too , she said well i dont ! she grabs my flowers outta my flower beds and tries to hide them , ruin my flower beds . :-( . she s hand full . i am worried that if my bil decided he cant do it anymore . fear my husband will let her stay here . i hope not , i cant handle her . my dad is so much easier and he doesnt have alz , just a dementia mild one id say . its so sad ! she ask my husband who are u ? he said im ur son . so sad sooo sad ...
I hope they develope oozing pustules on their wangers also, and no one around to wipe their butts.They are so busy figuring out how to get everysone assets,they forget they may need someone one day.When they do get someone to help I hope they are just like my brothers. By the way ,Whats a wanger,nope, never mind.
Bobbie, may God's angels go before you. Will keep you in prayer. Eager for an update later, to know how things go. Bless you!
teristeve, I think in inability to relax goes with the territory. Lots of people report it. It's just that we have genuine concern for our loved ones, and like an infant, we are alert to their needs. Always watching, wondering, and sometimes worrying. It is good to get away for some refreshing, is possible. Thanks for posting, and sharing your story.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Still reading
I have to go back and read about everyone's else's stories so forgive me for being late, I've been busy busy busy but I'm going to read up on everyone.
Keep on keeping on guys.
You're an angel and a sweetheart!
lovbob
Thank you Secret Sister and Tennessee!
Mom is still sleeping and our kitchen is in pieces (guy was supposed to have it finished, but hey! that's construction) and I'm about to go to the Acme to pick up this and that.
Sara the caregiver is a stitch and we will be working together to get this house polished and taking care of mom.
What I didn't tell you last night: Mom went up a flight of stairs! She was having trouble figuring out how to use a stair and after about 10 minutes (she was SO tired) I said, Mom!! C'mon and let's go up the stairs and go to bed!! BED!?! Oh now that's a different story. So my g/f Heather and I and Sara got mom to walk up the stairs and she came into her room and after a quick scrub of the important areas: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Sara said: what time does mommy get up? and i said she'll get up when her stomach growls! We keep checking on her and she is sleeping the sleep of a warrior who knows he's safe.
MiZ!! Tomorrow's YOUR day! And your beloved husband! Remember the outline of the get-away plan? Just let me know if there's tire squealing involved because I live for that stuff! Have a great time and you know that we're all here prayin away and you also know that SS has GOT THE HOOKUP in the prayer department.
Well I have another giant email from the aunt/birthmother and I haven't had the energy to read it yet and boy that stuff wears me out.
Tell me Sailors: if you said you loved me and you understood me, would you pile on my back a lot of awful crap right when my stress levels were at their highest and you knew it? I talked to her on Sunday and she knew exactly what I was going through and how hard it was and how exhausted I was/am and yet she still chose to send that lousy letter to me knowing that it would upset me. consequently i had no sleep the night before because she is still my birth mother and that stuff upsets me
Adopted people have abandonment issues, it just goes with the territory. I read up on all of that so I would know why I was feeling a certain way and that worked for me. Aunt/birthmother gave me up the first time and I'm very happy she did because I would have not wanted to live with her. However, since I figured out that she was my birth mother when I was in my 30's, she has given me up by way of nasty letters ... I have no idea of how many times. If I saved crap like that I would have a stack of them.
Thankfully I don't.
She thinks my letter is full of 'hatred and bitterness' and I swear that's not true. It's full of anger and believe you me there's a difference. I don't take time to hate, as it were, I just disengage.
Maybe I should post it all and you guys tell me if I'm an A**H*** or just tired of being attacked over and over by a hypocrite. Besides you know what they say: if you're tired of your own drama for a minute, tune into someone elses. Which is why the soaps have been on so long!
Well, we can see that this is really bothering me because I am still referencing it. Thanks sailors for your patience.
Which brings us to the BOAT! Everybody give a positive thought to the smoothness of the transitions here and if all goes well, I should be able to see this particular boat the first week in June. Way more fun thinking about boat than aunt/birthmother. Wish she could just go with the flow...
This boat has 43' masts and a 6' draft so there are places inland that she will not be able to go, however she is a passagemaker and a coastal cruiser so if you guys can make it to anywhere there's ocean, we can pick you up!!
Miz: I won't be able to get you in Chicago because we won't fit under the bridges...can't leave the Lake proper.
SS: I don't know yet because I have to learn more (way more) but I think we can get her to you but if we can, Miz can come up there!!
More Coffee Time! Mom is still sleeping and maybe in about an hour we can wake her up, change her, feed her, give her meds and she can sleep some more.
Thanks you guys for being here,
lovbob
miz
I was thinking she may be disoriented with weariness from travel. Awwww. She's prob exhausted. Wait till she settles in, and has some nourishing meals. Late stage...does she know where she's at? The poor dear. Thanks so much for the praise report! I'm glad you made it safely. Will continue to keep you and your mom in prayer.
FIL is choking and coughing, and it's hard to be around. I wonder if he forgot how to chew and swallow. He chews too much! Guess that's better than the tube feeding he was doing after his stroke. But every bite and drink of water makes him choke.
My dad is really declining verbally. His brother drove to MI from CO this week, and I've been telling dad his brother is coming soon. I am not sure he understands. It is very difficult to discern if he understands anything I say anymore. Sometimes I don't even think he hears me. He still smiles when he sees me, but can't make an intelligible sentence. He's still trying to communicate through non-verbals, though. And he is getting more stooped, physically, but still ambulatory. O, it's hard to see him like this.
Miz, you get to leave in the morning! Are you excited?
Mom is tucked into her own little bed, Sara, the caregiver is tucked into her little bed and I am her still on Cali time. Whatta day! Mom was a trooper and made it all the way and is just too pooped to pop. I hope she gets a good nights sleep and wakes up happy.
Good to see everybody!
Pamela!! nice with the trip to Catalina and I understand what you mean with the facial expressions. Sad and worrisome and I keep on trucking like you do. I hear ya!
Deef!! you're a trooper, yes you is and I am so happy that the house is in your name. Heehee.
Pirate! I have seen those piggy banks but never for a new boat!! Sweet. Good to see you as always.
SS, I am telling you that those prayers work! We are here safe and sound and it was REALLY bouncy over Vegas. Love watching those wings flap.
Miz! No WAY you could ever offend us! This is the Grossed Out Thread! What's a little mucus among friends "I got the mucus in me...."
Linda! oooohhhhh with the ALZ. It's a killer. and they do wander around like a ghost. Mom is to the point now where she is forgetting how to walk and chew. Tonight when we got her in bed and then she coughed (indicating that she wants water) and Sara and I went in and said, ok, sit up and she was able to mumble: I forgot how. She forgot how to sit up!
It's such a heartbreaker.
We got her to sit up and she drank some water and then we tucked her in again.
5 years ago the prognosis was that we would have 3 years until it started to get really bad and we actually made it 4 years but it has gotten worse over the last year and they said in LA that she's late stage which is why I was so desparate to get her home to her own little bed.
Sylvester! (Sylvester's post:)
"Toothbrushes are cheap, and so are toiletry bags. You can keep all of your cosmetics, toothbrushes, razors, in this bag, and put it in your bedroom. You obviously are at the early stages in the game"
You never really know who your talking to Sylvester but the caregivers here are hard core and don't take lightly to some FNG telling us that we are 'obviously in the early stages.......'
Are you serious? What's with the snide comment? So the humor went right over your head, you haven't read the thread so you don't know what's up and who are you taking care of?
We're all pretty cool her but won't stand for pissy comments, just so you know..
lovbob
Eager to hear how your flight went with your mom, Bobbie. Your trip and both are in my prayers, too.
love,
miz
miz , about that clear mucus , mm i think its ok . ive seen them before and it goes away . hope the office called u back on that one , let us know what they say ..
Harde,...were you worried about me, when I did not show up for awhile? LOL! Just kidding.
Pamela....hows the gardening going...I am off into gardening land as well, but mommo hates it I think down deep. I wish she would enjoy and partake in it.
Def....glad I don't have siblings sometimes for that reason. I always wished I had an older brother when I was a kid. Having someone to share the burden with now would have helped as well..but oh well.
I keep reassuring her that she has plenty of cash, but being cash poor her whole life, she is always nervous about having money in her hand.
We are all in the same boat when it comes to siblings thinking we're stealing from them. I just hope that I can keep Mom home long enough to use it all up on her, so that there's nothing left for them!
By the way, my father in law will be celebrating his 100th birthday in July. He had a couple medical emergencies last year, but recovered quickly, still lives alone, and can't wait to turn 100!!!
i am a worry warts , wink .
my dad sleeps alot too , but today he s staying awake . it seems to me he;ll sleep 2 days straight then stays awake 2 days straight , off and on .,
hope ur mom gets better .
Went to Catalina Island for MOther's Day c/o my sons. Had a windy great time, and it was really cold on that boat headed off to the Island. Thank God my best friend and I had LIQUOR stashed. A good time was had by all, and there were 8 of us all together. We truly had a great day.
I went to moms house very early, took her the usual Mother's Day card and some chocolate covered strawberries. She told me to put them in the fridge, I did. Yesterday I went back over to take care of her, and when I asked her why she hadn't eaten them, she said she thought it was cake. Hmmmm I showed them to her but I think her eyesight is going.
Anyway mom sleeps a lot more nowadays, her understanding and comprehension is extremely limited. She keeps asking me what my retirement amount it, so I've just stopped telling her. It's actually not her business anyway, but that's another story.
I was surprised that mom is now asking me about having her checking account back and saying that she wants to sign her own checks and not have to ask anyone for money, since sis is POA. I have a seperate account established for her, just in case anything comes back after she passes. But I told her to be thankful that she doesn't have to worry about writing checks or paying bills, pr anything of that nature. But to my surprise, and I mean it, it is bothering her that she is not in control of her finances. She says sis tells her what she is paying and to whom, but says it isn't the same as doing it herself.
Now really she can say what she wants but I know she would not be able to write any check to anyone and I am glad sis is taking care of it because it's a bear. It just shocks me that mom is still trying to control her finances, and is bothered that she cannot. I guess they never really get over the fact that they are not in control anymore, after being in control for so long, that part of their life is over. They cannot accept it.
Mom is still unpleasant, taking shots at me. There was no escape yesterday as it was cold and we couldn't go outside to garden. I made myself quite busy reading though, and she slept. I did not even bother her I just let her continue to sleep and thought good. She must really be tired.
She hardly smiles, or laughs now and if I can't get her to do that no one can. She has a particular lost look on her face now, it worries me a little.
But I keep on trucking.
There seems to be a lot of activity on this thread. TN I'm sorry for the troubles you've had. Certainly when you split on those trips, you needed to and you were entitled too.
Bobbie I'm not sure whats going on with the aunt thing, so I will just wish you good luck.
There are more on here but I'll have to read through but that's not gonna happen right now.
I see that we are still comforting, and caring, and taking whatever is thrown our way trying to deal with the turmoil that surrounds us. As I've said I've addopted an entire new perspective and things don't bother me as much as it did. I had to let go of a lot of annimosity to do this, but I did. What's important while my mom is still here is that she see sis and I getting along and working together. We are doing that now. I don't know what will come after my mom passes, but you best believe I am prepared. I am not fool, and I've learned through you all to be prepared. There is always an alterior plan.
Enough about me, and my episodes. Hope you all are gathering some creative energy and can pass it on to all of us.
Until later....Pam
i had my mil here over the weekend , she has alz and its not a fun thing to be around , shes always lost and wantin to get into things , she almost took my husbands meds , luckly i heard her gettin into my husbands drawers , we put up my dad s meds and my husbands meds , she seems to find them some how .
found a wet towle smells like piss . she had peed in the towles instead of toilet . always lost . roam thru the house like a ghost lady at all night . wheres the bathroom where is my bed etc .
i sure was happy to see her go back home and feel sorry for my bil , he s stressing out bad . i ask her to go lay down and take a nap , she frowned at me said i dont take naps i hate naps ! i said oh realy , man i love naps ! my dad loves naps too , she said well i dont !
she grabs my flowers outta my flower beds and tries to hide them , ruin my flower beds . :-( . she s hand full . i am worried that if my bil decided he cant do it anymore . fear my husband will let her stay here . i hope not , i cant handle her . my dad is so much easier and he doesnt have alz , just a dementia mild one id say .
its so sad ! she ask my husband who are u ? he said im ur son .
so sad sooo sad ...
teristeve, I think in inability to relax goes with the territory. Lots of people report it. It's just that we have genuine concern for our loved ones, and like an infant, we are alert to their needs. Always watching, wondering, and sometimes worrying. It is good to get away for some refreshing, is possible. Thanks for posting, and sharing your story.