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Hugs to all of you! You make me proud that I am now among angels and can relate with your lives! We all know it our present situations won't last forever! (At least that is what I have been told). My husband and I were able to slip away for a much needed overnight and we stretched it out until the very last minute that we possibly could. We did not feel guilty because it has been 3 months since we were off and alone and we knew we more than deserved it. Our parents were in good hands with their daughter who lives out of state. She is not able to come very often so we took advantage of her offer. Had a great time - but did not rest well. I just wonder if you ever get out of the buzz zone where your body is always on alert??? For whomever can work it out - take as many breaks as you can and think of them as your reward or pay. It helps you to do a better job and to appreciate your alone time so much more! Our parents were even happy to see us. Of course, they commented on how hard their daughter and son-in-law worked all day and all night, but that was OK. We all know what we do every day and someday they will know. Thanks for all the great advice and words of encouragement.
Tennessee, I have run across some of those evil lawyers, as well. And they are in the "use people" business. Whatever works to their advantage, and wherever the money takes them...without ethics, or a sense of what is right and wrong. Lies notwithstanding. I have found that family members can be pretty evil as well. The court system is very corrupt, and is not family-friendly, but look for profit. They take advantage of anyone who gets in the way...and wield their power unmercifully. My heart goes out to you. Do you have to hire a lawyer to defend yourself? I hope you have lots of documentation to prove you are not in the wrong... Many prayers are going your way.
Bobbie, is today your traveling day? I pray you and your mom have safety, and smooth "sailing"! God bless you both!
Oh Tennessee, I'm so sorry that you're going through all of that totally unnecessary crap. You don't deserve it and you have your dad's Purple Heart to prove it. You go on and cry and get it out. Relief Good. We're going to get you on this boat for real.
I despise a lot of this system and the harm it does to good people. May all the evil lawyers develop oozing pustules on their wangers. Or wangettes, as the case might be.
Thanks for all the well wishes everybody and talk to you soon.
My dad would hate it when I would leave for a minute,to go to a movie,a two day vacation,up the road,whatever-so to keep him from worrying to death,I would play it down,not tell him until I was going or coming back.I always had him covered with help,food and supplies--but that is something that is being used against me with the lawyers also.That I snuck away without giving notice--I tried to explain how it was for his benifit to keep him from obsessing and worrying to death=they used it to show I was a bad person-No matter what one does good they will turn it into something bad.Sometimes ya'll understand things so well it makes me want to cry-not out of sadness-but relief.Those lawyers are evil.
hey Maxine, thanks for the hug. You are the stuff!
Naheaton; so you'd read this story, eh? You goofball you. It is very soap opera which is why I've always had a hard time with soap opera stuff because at my house that noise was unfolding in real time!
I just need to stay focused on peace and harmony and everything will improve.
SS, thanks for the beautiful blanket of prayers. I can feel it because I am almost at peace with the disruption to my zone earlier.
Miz: I agree with SS, you love your mom and if you tell her on the fly it's the kindest thing you can do. Kindest for you and your husband as well. Here's the plan:
1. have the car packed and your keys in your hand. Hubby in car. 2. Tell her and give her big kiss. 3. Run like hell to car and squeal tires getting away. 4. your mom's cargiver distracts her with: a. firecrackers b, baloney sandwich c. The DVD of 'Showgirls' (That awful hunk of stuff could take your mind off of nuclear war. Truly that movie will give anybody something else to gripe about.)
Distraction Good.
Holly! good to see you again. isn't it fun to hang out 'with your own kind?' We're all nuts from the insanity and I think we've all been pretty good sports about it. We're thinking about starting out own country.... BOAT
Linda. whassup with your bones? you taking that Fosamax? Aside from me being a goofball are you concerned about something and can't put your finger on it? Here's the deal: We're all in Good Hands so que sera sera, whatever will be, will be so don't worry little angel. no point in it. Hug your dad. Can't wait to see Pam back too.
just got back from the place with 99% of mom's stuff. She's left with the cross over the bed, bedding, bathroom furniture.. shower chair, etc, a real cute brand new outfit for tomorrow all cotton in layers and nice and warm for the airplane, and her toiletries.. and yeah, the ottoman in the living room that she puts her feet up on.
I need to get one of those cool bibs too! I betcha they'll let me have one....
What I have to carry on: drool towels, box of kleenex, Depends, baby wipes and barf bags. 2 extra changes for mom in case of the unthinkable and plastic bags for the unthinkable and a little tiny air freshener and tiny bottles of Jack Daniels. Southwest can unhast the Ginger Ale. and mom's activity lap pad. that thing is great because she plays with it cause it feels good on her fingertips.
My stuff: backpack with computer, sea school stuff (lots) and a ream of paperwork.
Pamela posted two days ago, and said her boys were taking her on a trip for Mother's Day, so you don't have to be so melodramatic, lhardebeck. Check out her posts...and don't worry.
Bobbie, praying you and your mom have a pleasant and uneventful journey. I know you'll be on hyper-alert, trying to oversee everything. Know you're not alone, and covered in prayer!
Miz, Tell your mom at the last minute. This is your mental health vacation, and you don't need mommy's permission. Tell her as you're walking out the door, with a hug, kiss, and an "I love you." Then know she's in good hands. You must take some control of your life, and not feel guilty about it. Time for you to live, sweetheart! Go have fun! Prayers covering you and your mom, too.
wheres pamela ?? surely she didnt get buried in the garden ?? need pray for pamela , i feel it in my bones something s gone wrong . shes been gone too long .
I'm leaving for Minneapolis Thursday at 4:00 am. I don't know when to tell Mom that I am going. The CNA's that will be with her she is familiar with. They will be coming and going as their schedules apply. I'm just so afraid this will be upsetting for her. I haven't mentioned it to her yet because I don't want her to fret about it. She hates it when I leave. In the past she has said that I should not leave her with anyone but family. Well, ha ha ha, there's that. I worry if I tell Mom the night before I go she won't sleep all night and won't let me sleep. But it I tell her like now, she will ask me about it again and again and again and again and again and again again. What to do!! What to do!!
i just emailed my aunt/birthmother and opted out. I know that I violated my rule about engaging but I'm the one who is supposed to take care of stuff in their will and I just can't be tied to more drama. Can't do it so I asked to be removed. ...along with some other stuff. Stuff that has never been addressed. I am always amazed that the nastier some people are the more they hide behind Jesus Too bad. I'm hoping that's not what he had in mind.
Now it's off my chest and.... wait for it.........BOAT!
Hey Tennessee! funny story about dad waking you up and telling you you looked tired. omg so funny. Mom and I leave tomorrow!!
Holly!! Girl!! hang in there and keep venting!! Let us know if you want us to help you start the process of looking for a spot because I am here to tell you that you need a break and that's ok!
Leaving in a half hour to get stuff out of mom's room and get most of her clothes and start packing!! The nurse was there this morning and said almost in wonder: She's really in a good mood! And I said, yeah she knows she's going home.
Taking care of the elderly reminded me of breastfeeding. You wake up every hour and a half. Daddy would wake me up to make sure I was still in the house.Sometimes he would wake me up to tell me I needed to get my sleep and that I looked wore out. Once when I was particully sleep deprived and I came in with a grumpy look, he said oops, I'm sorry,go back to bed.According to the lawyers,my dad slept all night and never needed anyone at 2 o'clock in the morning,Funny never saw them there-they must have been hiding underneath that rock they crawled out from.
I am just so tired of it all. Last night Dad got me out of bed at 2 a.m. to check on mom. She was asleep. He then woke me up at 445am to check on mom. she wanted to know what time it was. At moments like those I feel as if I can't DO THIS.
Saying the serenity prayer calms me "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". But it also makes my head swim: can I accept this, can I change this, will I know the difference?
Wow the last several posts where def drama and secsis just NAILED it and SUMMED it up BEAUTIFULLY.
I thought this weekend was going to be fun because I have been buying a lot of plants for my mom's garden. Here's is the list of things I have brught over there: Young Nectarine, Young Fig, bromeliad, brugsmalia - Angel Trumpet, 2 aftrican daiseys, blackberry, raspberry, 2 yellow/orange calla lillies, italian parsley,oregano, basil, big jim green pepper, patio tomatoe, fushia, purple rippled carnation. Her sister had brought her 3 osteospermums. My mom had tons of them already, but it doesn't hut to have more, I don't know the regular name. I never had grown them, but her yard is full of them and they are basiclly look like purple daisy like flowers. Oh I forgot a small hollywood junper in a urn with daisy around it at the front door. Oh and two urns that are planted up like Fairy gardens, small assortment of flowers and in the center of each one is either gnomes or frog ornament. I have placed last year all kinds of yard ornaments that where just being stashed either in the patio or the garden. I thought with all the disaster of last year and her going to the psych ward I thought I would cheer up the yard that was slowly lacking water, cause at one point she had some wierd thing going in her head about the water bill. Anyway I have also bought 4 solar lanterns, 4 solar spot lights for the backyard. I have a solar mushroom light on the picnic bench that glows blue (so cool)..and just rencently bought another little solar gnome lightpost figurine and it sits under the urn at the front doorway. Oh and around the front landscaping 6 little solar lights. I have always loved nightime lighting at homes and my mother does not believe in porch lights, and I love porch lights on because to me it's homey and welcoming. Otherwise the front of her house always had a cold and dark look...b rrrr..hate it. Last summer when I had electricians repairing a bunch of stuff I had them install a sensor porch light, but it never works right, keeps just going on and off, so it drives her mad, and me also..grr don't know why it doesn't want to work right. lol! So anyway, so this weekend I thought I was going to do some planting, well Saturday I got busy tearing down a old fence that was leaning to the neighbors side that was unsightly...and then I left around 6 cause b/f was going to go to my house and had to go...and so I thought Sunday, well I got busy tearing some invasive ivy from over the wall, and cutting some branches that were invasive from the neighbor on the other side of her house. So did not get much planting done and I did not water the front lawn which needed it. So after I got done with all her chores I thought and it was getting late that I would get a few garden things done. Well that was driving her nuts...nightime always means to her you have to stop what your doing, so she was hating that I was out in the garage and yard (in the back)...she kept hovering and would not stay laying down (since that is what she was wanting to do). She was back in form like when I was a kid, harping about me being outside, and it's late the neighbors are sleeeping and I am making too much noise and when I take the truck out front for a spin oh that is going to make noise too, ah thought ah heck, even though she is geting more feeble that mouth can still work good. She hated that I was out there fooling around....period. She really does not like when I do anything cause it's the materialism still hanging on. On saturday I showed her the 2 calla lillies I brought them into the patio to show her. All she could say is they cost too much...(I thought what...they were a good deal ....4.99 for a gallon of fancy calla's and there was more than one plant in each pot). So again a hidden dig that she does not like me fooling with the garden, even though last year she was not doing anything to it anymore and the lawn was turning yellow with her digression last year. Yesterday she I guess saw all the plants out on the picnic table and says to me...who's going to plant all those....what?..well me of course. Again a hidden hint that she does not like it. On Saturday, since she's playing coherent lately, I hit her up for some old recipes that I failed to get from her, I got ingredients for dumplings and these funky other dumplings that are made with marrow from O-bones, sounds gross but they are good cooked up. An old german recipe that I did not want to loose, cause I don't know if I ever found it on the net.
Since you mentioned the sister thing, my mom only communicates with one of her sisters. She has 2 sisters left and they both live here in the US. One lives 3 streets away around the block and the other lives in the next city. She only talks to the one in the other city. She has had mental wars with both of them. But the one in the next city I guess forgave past crapola (yep my mom quickly kissed her ass after my dad died, could not believe what I was seeing...what a creature). So when I come over to my mom's she does not like to talk in front of me cause she can't talk about me or other things she doesn't want me to know...treating me like my parents always did - like the enemy the outsider. I never could understand how parents can be that way. But I know others have suffered from this syndrome, but none of my friends parents where never to the extreme of coldness of my parents. I kinda am bewidered of childhood memories of my mom being tender, but that grew ever mor silent as I grew older. Anyway, back to the sister thing. Her one sister that she talks to I always thought from childhood was a cold woman. I never really liked her that much because of that. I know she is not deep down but puts it outwards. Yesterday after I just made my mom some eggs and toast her sister calls, when I pick up the phone it's never hi how are you..nope...it's oh hi...is my sister there, or can I talk to my sister. Never can I talk to your mom. Cold fish, don't know even know how she pumped out a kid...bewildering. The other sister calls every blue moon, I sat with her for about 9 hours last year after mom went pysch ward, and she told me some past history. So yeah a lot of drama in families.
(Oh and get this...yesterday I kinda got to my mom's a little late like around 1:00 and when I usually get there on the weekends I make her some eggs and toast, well yesterday when I got there I asked if she wanted some and she said no, I said I am going to make some are you sure you don't want any, nope. Okay so I make some for myself and she layed down for a little while. Then she pops up after about 45 minutes and now she wants eggs and toast. Grrrrrr.......
Drama. Thankfully we avoided it this Mother's Day. Sorry you all have had so much to deal with. The dysfunctional ones are all about greed, spite, anger, jealousy, discontent. Where is the love? Heaven help us all!
Bobbie,I have a aunt who is a work of art also. I called her hoping for some comfort after dad passed and all she talked about was wanting stuff back of my grandmothers.My family also took care of my grandma,it was back in the 70's.None of my mom's siblings helped either way back then.My mother gave me a couple things of my grandmother in 1982. Well, these items have been thrown up to me repeatedly in this lawsuit. I found out that my aunt wrote my brother the attorney a letter wanting these things back for her grandkids---the ones who never helped. My dad distributed her other belongings long ago to the other siblings,left this one particular aunt out for being a goody two shoes whiner [his exact words] I guess the other siblings failed to mention it to her. My brothers never being around don't know whats what either,so I've lose personal items etc. Can you imagine asking for someting after 30 years.WAITED FOR MY DAD TO PASS -THE BUZZARDS.My aunt app. had some unresolved issues with my mom also,so she added a little fuel to the fire.
Well, Mother's Day was a hoot! All my long lost siblings showed up to visit. My husband and I took off as soon as the first one showed up. Of course no one called to say they were coming, except for my youngest brother. He and my older sister in Virginia are the ones who usually call regularly to check on Mom and me. My B!tch younger sister turned the kitchen camera toward the ceiling as soon as she arrived. She doen't know I also get sound! Lucky for me I turned my laptop off before I left. I didn't need to hear anything that would upset me. My brother and his wife showed up right after her. They never visit Mom. His excuse is he can't stand to see her the way she is. Before I left I told my sister that she may hear noise in the empty apartment above Mom's. My daughter and her husband live above me, and their water heater went last week, so they shower and do dishes in the empty apartment until we can come up with the cash to replace the water heater. Of course my sister went into the whole thing about where's all Mom's money? I explained that I'm waiting for her LTC insurance to start paying for home care, and that I have been paying for it since the first of the year, and have no more extra cash. Mom doesn't have enough to pay me room and board and the CNA, and her bills too. That's when I got where's all her money gone to. She has a large IRA that is tied up until 2013 without taking a huge penalty. Apparently she and the brother that never comes to visit, decided if Mom is as bad as she is, I should put her in a NH and rent out the 2 apartments to make money to pay the bills! They think if she gets put away, she won't last and they will get their share of her money. They don't understand that the longer I keep her at home, the further the money will go! They think I'm stealing all their inheritance. It's Mom's money to care for her, and I will make sure there is nothing left for the 2 of them! They have both borrowed over $20,000 each from Mom, years ago, and never paid it back. My brother and his wife have no children, good jobs, a nice home, an antique car, and antique motorcycles. They also have a boat and a camper that they keep at a place on the coast of RI. My brother goes there every nice weekend to relax and fish. It must be nice to have a life!!!! The oldest of my brothers came just as the other was leaving, and they talked outside for the first time in 5 years! My sister of course sided with the first brother who never visits, and made it sound like it wasn't his fault they haven't seen each other. It's really because his wife has caused rifts between all of us for years, until we all figured out what she was trying to do. She was telling everyone that her and my brother were going to take over Mom's house and rent it out when she is gone. I guess she was planning on throwing us out onto the street! It's too bad for her that Mom signed over the house to me at the first of the year. That must have really pissed her off! I spoke to my youngest brother before her left with his 3 year old son and 8 year old daughter.( They were the bright spot of the day.) I told him what our sister and brother said about putting Mom away, and he thanked me for all I have done and said he would support any decision I made. He was the last child at home with Mom for years after Dad passed away. My youngest brother was only 13 and it was he and Mom together for many years. He's very close to her and feels she should be at home for as long as I can take it. I agree. Anyway, sorry for the length of this post, I knew it would be a fun day, and my siblings didn't disappoint me!
Wow Bobbie, you oughta write a book. Your life is what soap operas are made of, and who knows maybe there's money to be made writing down your story. I'd read it, in a heartbeat.
Pirate! Your ivory collection sounds wonderful. I understand also about 'old' ivory and the craftmanship can be amazing. I love the lion. Your north yard sounds like fun and your moms house sounds great too. I look forward to my mom's house in nj. Nice yard there too.
Well Sailors, talking to my aunt who is my moms sister and the one who gave birth to me....was not the best idea. I just got a real nasty email and am reminded once again why my mom (that raised me) and she always had drama. She's (aunt/birth mother) comparing the death of her cat to the path my mom is on now and that's not acceptable but I don't say anything because that's just who she is. Not pretty, just is. Oh, she told me at length this morning how she came to have yet ANOTHER cat not quite a week after the death of the x-cat. And she wants to know if I'm 'ready to let go of B.......,(my mom) like I let go of Sweetie Pie' the cat.
I didn't know I upset her on the phone call. She's one of those who spends time stewing. I had told her a story about talking to mom and she spent all day stewing about it and I got a tome of an email full of drama and name calling. the story was about the 'place' when I needed respite care for myself and I have turned it into a joke and mom totally got it when I said it and it helped her settle into the routine at the place. Mom knew I was exhausted and couldn't go anymore and the time had come and I said to my mom: I'f I die you're F*****. She was , oh ok I got it. My mom and I have been hanging around each other for a long time and she has a goofy sense of humor and both of us can just look at each other and crack up. Well anyhoo, her sister is a trip and I try but get smacked every time. I called her for mother's day and she wanted to know how I got mom to settle down and accept the place for 10 weeks, so I told her (WARNED her that there was 'language') and said the above line. On the same call she tried to give me the 3rd degree about if I was going to live with my mom. See, she hates my mom for stuff that happened 60+ years ago and has nothing to do with me but she tells me enough that I'm abusive and a bully and just like my mom, etc etc. When my mom was raising me, and I knew I was adopted, just not from whom for a very long time, mom had the good grace to never say anything like that to me like: You're just like your mother, getting laid in the back of a Chevy. (Where I came from) Anyway, upsetting in the midst of everything going on but my take on crap like this is to not engage, but to observe. It's easier to see the funny stuff. I do have a strong personality that will certainly turn some people off. So what? They can get on another boat. I accept her for who she is and there's a lot of stuff that drives me nuts but hey! i try to be a good sport and i don't say anything like Wow what a insensitive selfish person you are. I don't because i think she's never going to get it (77) She has no CLUE what mom is going through and she wants to keep on about old dirt that happened before I was born and I do tell her that I just can't go there. real upsetting because I am the one caring for the woman that this person (aunt/birthmother) calls evil.
I see the above in print and I have never written about this before but this lady is indeed sick and boy am I tired. I think that mom had BPD but she's not evil and this lady has had strong bouts of depression and has lived with a manic depressive and bi-polar guy that is just now finding our about meds, etc (in his 80's, bless his heart) and why am I getting drama? Maybe she's frustrated about the death of her beloved cat and that it took almost 7 days to replace. oh wow... didn't get to the punch line about the nasty email: Accusing me of abusing my mom. (Whom she hates) Said that my mom was at my 'mercy'. Man that sux
mom and I spent today looking at the chart for Long Island Sound East. There are some whopper lights on that thing. We also read out of Bowditch's navigation and I talked out some nav problems with mom and she made noises and got on the other side of the game right away. We looked at pictures of all kinds of buoys and cans and lights and horns and whistles and bells and doodads. I've got her in my clutches!
Tomorrow is going to be a bear. We have to strike mom's room of everything but what she'll be taking and bring it all back here. All the pictures, clothes, etc etc and I'll pack a big rolling duffle with all of her clothes and stuff from here. Transport Tues am to the airport and hopefully we get through all of the TSA stuff with mom not quite all there. OK OK, we won't sit in the exit row.....
feel bad about getting called bad names. i hope I haven't called anybody a bad name. sux.
Happy Mother's Day to Everyone! Yeah I am not a mommy but I wish I was even more as I have gotten older. I still have not knocked out the idea of becoming one with adopting an older child. I lost my pressious doggie a couple of years ago...I miss her so. I could talk to her like a person, she was so smart understood everything, she was a black and white Jack Russel name Jackie. Now when I go see mom I take care of her parakeet, since she is not able to clean and dress the cage any longer. I really love the little thing, it's a young bird I think 2 or 3, and it loves to sing. I call him Bobbie even though my mom calls it something else, something german. I don't know if she talks to it as much anymore, but his cage is on the kitchen tab le so he is always amongst activity. I sometimes put him outside on the patio table and he even chirps louder hearing the wild birds.
Yes about the gardening, I don't think my mom likes it when I spend a lot of time in the garden, even though I try to address her needs first when I am there and then it's a treat for me to mill around the garage and garden. My rental house that I have lived in for about 30 years now has a little cottage doll house look and I have engulfed it with rabbits and frogs statuaries (also gnomes, mushrooms, a mole, squirells, ducks.you get the picture). It's just a little north side yard, I have given up planting anything in the dirt there cause it just has too many pests that you cannot control. So I have gone on to containers. I don't have too much stuff cause I found it hard tokeep up, due to having north garden is prone to so much wetness and mold. The gardeners seem to destroy things and when the landlord decides to prune trees, they usually never remove my things underneath so I have had a lot of things broken. So I have a lot of schtatzkys to make up for plants. I have quite a collection. My g/f and I used to go to a lot of TJ turnaround shopping trips on the bus with work folks. (TJ - Tiauana Mexico). I have a lot of cermic suns and moons as well, (love them too). I also have bought a lot of stuff when I went down to TJ that I stuffed into Mom's yard all those years as well. She benefited from me bringing back larger pieces. So getting back to my original point, I don't think she likes it when I am in the yard, for a couple of reasons, and this is just my theory. 1. The attention is off of her, and 2. Since she was an avid gardener and cannot do anymore, I think it ticks her off that I am taking over and putting my own spin on it. I asked her the other day if she has gone out in the yard to see what the gardener did the other day (tree trimiming and removed a bunch of small bushes and tore every living weed out)...and she said NO...that she can't see it. Hmmm you can't see but she can see the neighbors!
Well anyway I just try to keep it harmonous now. I am tired of the screaming and yelling fights with her, which have seem to be subsided lately. She has not been driving me nuts. Lets hope this is the way it stays. Perhaps Defer, you are right and just by having that added helped a bunch. I am going to go back and re read the pamphlet. It is called Mirtazapine. Just looked it up on wiki, yep an antidepressent and it' just 1/2 a pill. I was just laughing at one of the side effects...calmness...yeah thats a side effect. I like it! LOL! I guess that doc that summed up my mom last year at the 72 hours hold pysch ward did a good job, with prescribing meds. She has been on his prescription since last June. The only thing was the doc that was out by her house up'd one of the other meds which seemed to do the trick. Her caregiver has developed the trick to have the next med box container lid opened to the nexct one she is supposed to take, that has kept her better on track with meds. Yesterday I set out one of those big multviti's and she took it with no problem. I am glad, because extra viti's are always good, since she does not want fruits or vegetables at all. She can drink orange juice like it's going out of style,..and her tv dinners don't have much for vegie's. So I am glad she takes the mulitviti.
Well I shut up now...gonna mosey on over to a gardening website for a bit before going to Mamma's House.
Happy Mother's Day to Everyone!
(oh...Boyfriend always goes as a pirate..we got him a couple of puffy tops and I made him some slops which he loves and he just wears his old leather deck shoes or leather thongs and a black head scarf. (Slops are sailor pants, that gather at the knees and stops there.) This time I wanted to be comfortable. I had a long black cotton skirt that had coins sewn all around the tiers and a burgandy dress top that is button just at the middle and open down the front and slit at both sides to the waist. I had a sheer black top underneath that. I had my pilgrim shoes on (just black penny loafers that I glued an additional band of leather with a big buckles on them over the top parts - came out great)...I had fishnet knee highs and a chinese umbrella to cut the sun. I had a black suede belt that had some metal doo dads on them (lost 2 large coins from that)...and wore all my Ivory from all my years at faire. Okay now the Ivory...well you know Ivory is frowned upon now..but the artisan who crafts these does not use Ivory any longer and the Ivory he did make his peices from where old Ivory that he bought in-country ages ago. I was going to add the artisans link but crazy as it sounds the images do not do the justice to the actual pieces. Christopher Miller is his name. You can check out the website, but it only shows sketches and not the actual pieces. I have one of his lions which he does not do anymore, the mouth is open and it is even carved into the mouth so you see teeth and tongue..mind you these are about an inch. So you can see all the detail of a master carver. )
tennessee!! Glad to hear from you. was thinking about you all week. glad you didn't wash away. Whatta flood! your dad is right about caring for someone/thing. I want a cat. Mom indicates that she doesn't want a cat but I know she loves cats and I know that cat would find a nice spot with mom and they could sleep together. Cat on boat: Able SeaCat. At least a cat wouldn't screw up and say something untoward to the harbormaster. Like a parrot might!
Pirate: you gotta love drugs when they work! Continued peace! Miz: You and hus and momma have a great day and then you guys have a good safe trip. SS love you baby doll hug your baby doll Deef! Love the Grand Kitties!
Pirategal, Adding Mom's antidepressant pill sure made the difference! My Mom was on different ones and not doing well. Now she gets 30mgs of Paxil a day, and would not be able to function without it. Renaissance Fair sounds like loads of fun. Hope you and friend had a great time! I have one daughter who will be 30 this year. She is very special and we are very close. She and her husband live in the apartment above us in my house. They have 5 cats that we call grand kitties. They are not planning to have children at this time, but I still have hope to be able to hold my own grandchild someday. For all of you who don't have children, it just wasn't meant to be, but your are now parents for your mom's or dad's. I can tell you it really is much the same as raising a child. They are just bigger, messier and more stubborn!!! Have a great day everyone!
Happy mothers day everyone,I've got the best little mothers day present in the world,but for you folks who don't have little human babys,dogs,cats and other forms of children count also,in my world.My dad told me everybody needs something to take care of even be it a goldfish.So if you don't have any other children,two legged,four legged-Get yourself a goldfish,they are glad to see you when you come home also. Happy mothers day. THANKS for askingabout us Bobbie ,The weather was crazy.Trees were down all over the state.We were some of the lucky ones.Kids were out of school-rural roads were tore up-everything looked like a pond.We knew some people who went to a movie and needed waders when they came back out. My daughter said if this happens in 3 days,hate to see what happens in 40 days and 40 nights. I Think Jackson,Tenn. area and Nashville were the hardest hit with flooding.Tornados are kinda bouncy so hit here-there and yonder.
Hi Miz.... well, okay then, I checked for the correct name of the product and it's called a 'Reusable Cold Pack' ..... and wow! at the price they charge for them, (unbelievable what prices are today) but back pain is no laughing matter and if it works, it is worth every cent. What's the greatest is that they are reusable.... sold at Walgreen's Walmart's and most likely any pharmacy near you. Choose brand names. I have heard that generic named products are just as good as any but when it comes to something costing this much, I would go with the well known brand names of any item bought. Seems like anything I've ever fallen for in a generic name, Fails the Test! But .... the cold packs are noted for staying icy cold for up to 8 hours. Hoping your husband's back is ready for the trip; and don't worry about the house honey..... God willing, it will be there when you get back. Stop worrying and look forward to your trip. You're going to have a great time. Thinking of you. ~madison
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My husband and I were able to slip away for a much needed overnight and we stretched it out until the very last minute that we possibly could. We did not feel guilty because it has been 3 months since we were off and alone and we knew we more than deserved it. Our parents were in good hands with their daughter who lives out of state. She is not able to come very often so we took advantage of her offer. Had a great time - but did not rest well. I just wonder if you ever get out of the buzz zone where your body is always on alert???
For whomever can work it out - take as many breaks as you can
and think of them as your reward or pay. It helps you to do a better job and to appreciate your alone time so much more!
Our parents were even happy to see us. Of course, they commented on how hard their daughter and son-in-law worked all day and all night, but that was OK. We all know what we do every day and someday they will know.
Thanks for all the great advice and words of encouragement.
today is the day and I haven't slept. Trying to resolve the aunt/birthmother thang. i like peace and she likes drama. Oil and Water.
poor old bat. I hope if I make it to old age that I at least have a good attitiude.
lovbob
Bobbie, is today your traveling day? I pray you and your mom have safety, and smooth "sailing"! God bless you both!
I'm so sorry that you're going through all of that totally unnecessary crap. You don't deserve it and you have your dad's Purple Heart to prove it. You go on and cry and get it out. Relief Good. We're going to get you on this boat for real.
I despise a lot of this system and the harm it does to good people.
May all the evil lawyers develop oozing pustules on their wangers.
Or wangettes, as the case might be.
Thanks for all the well wishes everybody and talk to you soon.
lovbob
Naheaton; so you'd read this story, eh? You goofball you. It is very soap opera which is why I've always had a hard time with soap opera stuff because at my house that noise was unfolding in real time!
I just need to stay focused on peace and harmony and everything will improve.
ooohhhh, the Irony.
lovbob
Miz: I agree with SS, you love your mom and if you tell her on the fly it's the kindest thing you can do. Kindest for you and your husband as well. Here's the plan:
1. have the car packed and your keys in your hand. Hubby in car.
2. Tell her and give her big kiss.
3. Run like hell to car and squeal tires getting away.
4. your mom's cargiver distracts her with:
a. firecrackers
b, baloney sandwich
c. The DVD of 'Showgirls' (That awful hunk of stuff could take your mind off of nuclear war. Truly that movie will give anybody something else to gripe about.)
Distraction Good.
Holly! good to see you again. isn't it fun to hang out 'with your own kind?' We're all nuts from the insanity and I think we've all been pretty good sports about it. We're thinking about starting out own country.... BOAT
Linda. whassup with your bones? you taking that Fosamax?
Aside from me being a goofball are you concerned about something and can't put your finger on it?
Here's the deal: We're all in Good Hands so que sera sera, whatever will be, will be so don't worry little angel. no point in it. Hug your dad.
Can't wait to see Pam back too.
just got back from the place with 99% of mom's stuff.
She's left with the cross over the bed, bedding, bathroom furniture.. shower chair, etc, a real cute brand new outfit for tomorrow all cotton in layers and nice and warm for the airplane, and her toiletries.. and yeah, the ottoman in the living room that she puts her feet up on.
I need to get one of those cool bibs too! I betcha they'll let me have one....
What I have to carry on:
drool towels, box of kleenex, Depends, baby wipes and barf bags. 2 extra changes for mom in case of the unthinkable and plastic bags for the unthinkable and a little tiny air freshener and tiny bottles of Jack Daniels. Southwest can unhast the Ginger Ale. and mom's activity lap pad. that thing is great because she plays with it cause it feels good on her fingertips.
My stuff: backpack with computer, sea school stuff (lots) and a ream of paperwork.
Off to do laundry. Check back later.
lovbob
Miz, Tell your mom at the last minute. This is your mental health vacation, and you don't need mommy's permission. Tell her as you're walking out the door, with a hug, kiss, and an "I love you." Then know she's in good hands. You must take some control of your life, and not feel guilty about it. Time for you to live, sweetheart! Go have fun! Prayers covering you and your mom, too.
need pray for pamela , i feel it in my bones something s gone wrong .
shes been gone too long .
love,
miz
....kidding!!
i just emailed my aunt/birthmother and opted out. I know that I violated my rule about engaging but I'm the one who is supposed to take care of stuff in their will and I just can't be tied to more drama. Can't do it so I asked to be removed.
...along with some other stuff. Stuff that has never been addressed. I am always amazed that the nastier some people are the more they hide behind Jesus Too bad. I'm hoping that's not what he had in mind.
Now it's off my chest and.... wait for it.........BOAT!
Hey Tennessee! funny story about dad waking you up and telling you you looked tired. omg so funny. Mom and I leave tomorrow!!
Holly!! Girl!! hang in there and keep venting!! Let us know if you want us to help you start the process of looking for a spot because I am here to tell you that you need a break and that's ok!
Leaving in a half hour to get stuff out of mom's room and get most of her clothes and start packing!! The nurse was there this morning and said almost in wonder: She's really in a good mood! And I said, yeah she knows she's going home.
Pirate, you are rocking the garden!
lovbob
Saying the serenity prayer calms me "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". But it also makes my head swim: can I accept this, can I change this, will I know the difference?
I thought this weekend was going to be fun because I have been buying a lot of plants for my mom's garden. Here's is the list of things I have brught over there:
Young Nectarine, Young Fig, bromeliad, brugsmalia - Angel Trumpet, 2 aftrican daiseys, blackberry, raspberry, 2 yellow/orange calla lillies, italian parsley,oregano, basil, big jim green pepper, patio tomatoe, fushia, purple rippled carnation. Her sister had brought her 3 osteospermums. My mom had tons of them already, but it doesn't hut to have more, I don't know the regular name. I never had grown them, but her yard is full of them and they are basiclly look like purple daisy like flowers. Oh I forgot a small hollywood junper in a urn with daisy around it at the front door. Oh and two urns that are planted up like Fairy gardens, small assortment of flowers and in the center of each one is either gnomes or frog ornament. I have placed last year all kinds of yard ornaments that where just being stashed either in the patio or the garden. I thought with all the disaster of last year and her going to the psych ward I thought I would cheer up the yard that was slowly lacking water, cause at one point she had some wierd thing going in her head about the water bill. Anyway I have also bought 4 solar lanterns, 4 solar spot lights for the backyard. I have a solar mushroom light on the picnic bench that glows blue (so cool)..and just rencently bought another little solar gnome lightpost figurine and it sits under the urn at the front doorway. Oh and around the front landscaping 6 little solar lights. I have always loved nightime lighting at homes and my mother does not believe in porch lights, and I love porch lights on because to me it's homey and welcoming. Otherwise the front of her house always had a cold and dark look...b rrrr..hate it. Last summer when I had electricians repairing a bunch of stuff I had them install a sensor porch light, but it never works right, keeps just going on and off, so it drives her mad, and me also..grr don't know why it doesn't want to work right. lol! So anyway, so this weekend I thought I was going to do some planting, well Saturday I got busy tearing down a old fence that was leaning to the neighbors side that was unsightly...and then I left around 6 cause b/f was going to go to my house and had to go...and so I thought Sunday, well I got busy tearing some invasive ivy from over the wall, and cutting some branches that were invasive from the neighbor on the other side of her house. So did not get much planting done and I did not water the front lawn which needed it. So after I got done with all her chores I thought and it was getting late that I would get a few garden things done. Well that was driving her nuts...nightime always means to her you have to stop what your doing, so she was hating that I was out in the garage and yard (in the back)...she kept hovering and would not stay laying down (since that is what she was wanting to do). She was back in form like when I was a kid, harping about me being outside, and it's late the neighbors are sleeeping and I am making too much noise and when I take the truck out front for a spin oh that is going to make noise too, ah thought ah heck, even though she is geting more feeble that mouth can still work good. She hated that I was out there fooling around....period. She really does not like when I do anything cause it's the materialism still hanging on. On saturday I showed her the 2 calla lillies I brought them into the patio to show her. All she could say is they cost too much...(I thought what...they were a good deal ....4.99 for a gallon of fancy calla's and there was more than one plant in each pot). So again a hidden dig that she does not like me fooling with the garden, even though last year she was not doing anything to it anymore and the lawn was turning yellow with her digression last year. Yesterday she I guess saw all the plants out on the picnic table and says to me...who's going to plant all those....what?..well me of course. Again a hidden hint that she does not like it.
On Saturday, since she's playing coherent lately, I hit her up for some old recipes that I failed to get from her, I got ingredients for dumplings and these funky other dumplings that are made with marrow from O-bones, sounds gross but they are good cooked up. An old german recipe that I did not want to loose, cause I don't know if I ever found it on the net.
Since you mentioned the sister thing, my mom only communicates with one of her sisters. She has 2 sisters left and they both live here in the US. One lives 3 streets away around the block and the other lives in the next city. She only talks to the one in the other city. She has had mental wars with both of them. But the one in the next city I guess forgave past crapola (yep my mom quickly kissed her ass after my dad died, could not believe what I was seeing...what a creature). So when I come over to my mom's she does not like to talk in front of me cause she can't talk about me or other things she doesn't want me to know...treating me like my parents always did - like the enemy the outsider. I never could understand how parents can be that way. But I know others have suffered from this syndrome, but none of my friends parents where never to the extreme of coldness of my parents. I kinda am bewidered of childhood memories of my mom being tender, but that grew ever mor silent as I grew older. Anyway, back to the sister thing. Her one sister that she talks to I always thought from childhood was a cold woman. I never really liked her that much because of that. I know she is not deep down but puts it outwards. Yesterday after I just made my mom some eggs and toast her sister calls, when I pick up the phone it's never hi how are you..nope...it's oh hi...is my sister there, or can I talk to my sister. Never can I talk to your mom. Cold fish, don't know even know how she pumped out a kid...bewildering. The other sister calls every blue moon, I sat with her for about 9 hours last year after mom went pysch ward, and she told me some past history. So yeah a lot of drama in families.
(Oh and get this...yesterday I kinda got to my mom's a little late like around 1:00 and when I usually get there on the weekends I make her some eggs and toast, well yesterday when I got there I asked if she wanted some and she said no, I said I am going to make some are you sure you don't want any, nope. Okay so I make some for myself and she layed down for a little while. Then she pops up after about 45 minutes and now she wants eggs and toast. Grrrrrr.......
Sorry for this longwinded post....
My B!tch younger sister turned the kitchen camera toward the ceiling as soon as she arrived. She doen't know I also get sound! Lucky for me I turned my laptop off before I left. I didn't need to hear anything that would upset me. My brother and his wife showed up right after her. They never visit Mom. His excuse is he can't stand to see her the way she is.
Before I left I told my sister that she may hear noise in the empty apartment above Mom's. My daughter and her husband live above me, and their water heater went last week, so they shower and do dishes in the empty apartment until we can come up with the cash to replace the water heater. Of course my sister went into the whole thing about where's all Mom's money? I explained that I'm waiting for her LTC insurance to start paying for home care, and that I have been paying for it since the first of the year, and have no more extra cash. Mom doesn't have enough to pay me room and board and the CNA, and her bills too.
That's when I got where's all her money gone to. She has a large IRA that is tied up until 2013 without taking a huge penalty.
Apparently she and the brother that never comes to visit, decided if Mom is as bad as she is, I should put her in a NH and rent out the 2 apartments to make money to pay the bills! They think if she gets put away, she won't last and they will get their share of her money. They don't understand that the longer I keep her at home, the further the money will go! They think I'm stealing all their inheritance. It's Mom's money to care for her, and I will make sure there is nothing left for the 2 of them! They have both borrowed over $20,000 each from Mom, years ago, and never paid it back. My brother and his wife have no children, good jobs, a nice home, an antique car, and antique motorcycles. They also have a boat and a camper that they keep at a place on the coast of RI. My brother goes there every nice weekend to relax and fish. It must be nice to have a life!!!!
The oldest of my brothers came just as the other was leaving, and they talked outside for the first time in 5 years! My sister of course sided with the first brother who never visits, and made it sound like it wasn't his fault they haven't seen each other. It's really because his wife has caused rifts between all of us for years, until we all figured out what she was trying to do. She was telling everyone that her and my brother were going to take over Mom's house and rent it out when she is gone. I guess she was planning on throwing us out onto the street! It's too bad for her that Mom signed over the house to me at the first of the year. That must have really pissed her off!
I spoke to my youngest brother before her left with his 3 year old son and 8 year old daughter.( They were the bright spot of the day.) I told him what our sister and brother said about putting Mom away, and he thanked me for all I have done and said he would support any decision I made. He was the last child at home with Mom for years after Dad passed away. My youngest brother was only 13 and it was he and Mom together for many years. He's very close to her and feels she should be at home for as long as I can take it. I agree.
Anyway, sorry for the length of this post, I knew it would be a fun day, and my siblings didn't disappoint me!
Your ivory collection sounds wonderful. I understand also about 'old' ivory and the craftmanship can be amazing. I love the lion.
Your north yard sounds like fun and your moms house sounds great too. I look forward to my mom's house in nj. Nice yard there too.
Well Sailors, talking to my aunt who is my moms sister and the one who gave birth to me....was not the best idea. I just got a real nasty email and am reminded once again why my mom (that raised me) and she always had drama.
She's (aunt/birth mother) comparing the death of her cat to the path my mom is on now and that's not acceptable but I don't say anything because that's just who she is. Not pretty, just is. Oh, she told me at length this morning how she came to have yet ANOTHER cat not quite a week after the death of the x-cat. And she wants to know if I'm 'ready to let go of B.......,(my mom) like I let go of Sweetie Pie' the cat.
I didn't know I upset her on the phone call. She's one of those who spends time stewing. I had told her a story about talking to mom and she spent all day stewing about it and I got a tome of an email full of drama and name calling.
the story was about the 'place' when I needed respite care for myself and I have turned it into a joke and mom totally got it when I said it and it helped her settle into the routine at the place. Mom knew I was exhausted and couldn't go anymore and the time had come and I said to my mom: I'f I die you're F*****. She was , oh ok I got it. My mom and I have been hanging around each other for a long time and she has a goofy sense of humor and both of us can just look at each other and crack up.
Well anyhoo, her sister is a trip and I try but get smacked every time. I called her for mother's day and she wanted to know how I got mom to settle down and accept the place for 10 weeks, so I told her (WARNED her that there was 'language') and said the above line.
On the same call she tried to give me the 3rd degree about if I was going to live with my mom. See, she hates my mom for stuff that happened 60+ years ago and has nothing to do with me but she tells me enough that I'm abusive and a bully and just like my mom, etc etc.
When my mom was raising me, and I knew I was adopted, just not from whom for a very long time, mom had the good grace to never say anything like that to me like: You're just like your mother, getting laid in the back of a Chevy. (Where I came from)
Anyway, upsetting in the midst of everything going on but my take on crap like this is to not engage, but to observe. It's easier to see the funny stuff.
I do have a strong personality that will certainly turn some people off. So what? They can get on another boat.
I accept her for who she is and there's a lot of stuff that drives me nuts but hey! i try to be a good sport and i don't say anything like Wow what a insensitive selfish person you are. I don't because i think she's never going to get it (77)
She has no CLUE what mom is going through and she wants to keep on about old dirt that happened before I was born and I do tell her that I just can't go there. real upsetting because I am the one caring for the woman that this person (aunt/birthmother) calls evil.
I see the above in print and I have never written about this before but this lady is indeed sick and boy am I tired.
I think that mom had BPD but she's not evil and this lady has had strong bouts of depression and has lived with a manic depressive and bi-polar guy that is just now finding our about meds, etc (in his 80's, bless his heart) and why am I getting drama?
Maybe she's frustrated about the death of her beloved cat and that it took almost 7 days to replace.
oh wow... didn't get to the punch line about the nasty email:
Accusing me of abusing my mom. (Whom she hates)
Said that my mom was at my 'mercy'. Man that sux
mom and I spent today looking at the chart for Long Island Sound East. There are some whopper lights on that thing. We also read out of Bowditch's navigation and I talked out some nav problems with mom and she made noises and got on the other side of the game right away. We looked at pictures of all kinds of buoys and cans and lights and horns and whistles and bells and doodads. I've got her in my clutches!
Tomorrow is going to be a bear. We have to strike mom's room of everything but what she'll be taking and bring it all back here. All the pictures, clothes, etc etc and I'll pack a big rolling duffle with all of her clothes and stuff from here.
Transport Tues am to the airport and hopefully we get through all of the TSA stuff with mom not quite all there.
OK OK, we won't sit in the exit row.....
feel bad about getting called bad names. i hope I haven't called anybody a bad name. sux.
lovbob
Yeah I am not a mommy but I wish I was even more as I have gotten older. I still have not knocked out the idea of becoming one with adopting an older child. I lost my pressious doggie a couple of years ago...I miss her so. I could talk to her like a person, she was so smart understood everything, she was a black and white Jack Russel name Jackie. Now when I go see mom I take care of her parakeet, since she is not able to clean and dress the cage any longer. I really love the little thing, it's a young bird I think 2 or 3, and it loves to sing. I call him Bobbie even though my mom calls it something else, something german. I don't know if she talks to it as much anymore, but his cage is on the kitchen tab le so he is always amongst activity. I sometimes put him outside on the patio table and he even chirps louder hearing the wild birds.
Yes about the gardening, I don't think my mom likes it when I spend a lot of time in the garden, even though I try to address her needs first when I am there and then it's a treat for me to mill around the garage and garden. My rental house that I have lived in for about 30 years now has a little cottage doll house look and I have engulfed it with rabbits and frogs statuaries (also gnomes, mushrooms, a mole, squirells, ducks.you get the picture). It's just a little north side yard, I have given up planting anything in the dirt there cause it just has too many pests that you cannot control. So I have gone on to containers. I don't have too much stuff cause I found it hard tokeep up, due to having north garden is prone to so much wetness and mold. The gardeners seem to destroy things and when the landlord decides to prune trees, they usually never remove my things underneath so I have had a lot of things broken. So I have a lot of schtatzkys to make up for plants. I have quite a collection. My g/f and I used to go to a lot of TJ turnaround shopping trips on the bus with work folks. (TJ - Tiauana Mexico). I have a lot of cermic suns and moons as well, (love them too). I also have bought a lot of stuff when I went down to TJ that I stuffed into Mom's yard all those years as well. She benefited from me bringing back larger pieces. So getting back to my original point, I don't think she likes it when I am in the yard, for a couple of reasons, and this is just my theory. 1. The attention is off of her, and 2. Since she was an avid gardener and cannot do anymore, I think it ticks her off that I am taking over and putting my own spin on it. I asked her the other day if she has gone out in the yard to see what the gardener did the other day (tree trimiming and removed a bunch of small bushes and tore every living weed out)...and she said NO...that she can't see it. Hmmm you can't see but she can see the neighbors!
Well anyway I just try to keep it harmonous now. I am tired of the screaming and yelling fights with her, which have seem to be subsided lately. She has not been driving me nuts. Lets hope this is the way it stays. Perhaps Defer, you are right and just by having that added helped a bunch. I am going to go back and re read the pamphlet. It is called Mirtazapine. Just looked it up on wiki, yep an antidepressent and it' just 1/2 a pill. I was just laughing at one of the side effects...calmness...yeah thats a side effect. I like it! LOL! I guess that doc that summed up my mom last year at the 72 hours hold pysch ward did a good job, with prescribing meds. She has been on his prescription since last June. The only thing was the doc that was out by her house up'd one of the other meds which seemed to do the trick. Her caregiver has developed the trick to have the next med box container lid opened to the nexct one she is supposed to take, that has kept her better on track with meds. Yesterday I set out one of those big multviti's and she took it with no problem. I am glad, because extra viti's are always good, since she does not want fruits or vegetables at all. She can drink orange juice like it's going out of style,..and her tv dinners don't have much for vegie's. So I am glad she takes the mulitviti.
Well I shut up now...gonna mosey on over to a gardening website for a bit before going to Mamma's House.
Happy Mother's Day to Everyone!
(oh...Boyfriend always goes as a pirate..we got him a couple of puffy tops and I made him some slops which he loves and he just wears his old leather deck shoes or leather thongs and a black head scarf. (Slops are sailor pants, that gather at the knees and stops there.) This time I wanted to be comfortable. I had a long black cotton skirt that had coins sewn all around the tiers and a burgandy dress top that is button just at the middle and open down the front and slit at both sides to the waist. I had a sheer black top underneath that. I had my pilgrim shoes on (just black penny loafers that I glued an additional band of leather with a big buckles on them over the top parts - came out great)...I had fishnet knee highs and a chinese umbrella to cut the sun. I had a black suede belt that had some metal doo dads on them (lost 2 large coins from that)...and wore all my Ivory from all my years at faire. Okay now the Ivory...well you know Ivory is frowned upon now..but the artisan who crafts these does not use Ivory any longer and the Ivory he did make his peices from where old Ivory that he bought in-country ages ago. I was going to add the artisans link but crazy as it sounds the images do not do the justice to the actual pieces. Christopher Miller is his name. You can check out the website, but it only shows sketches and not the actual pieces. I have one of his lions which he does not do anymore, the mouth is open and it is even carved into the mouth so you see teeth and tongue..mind you these are about an inch. So you can see all the detail of a master carver. )
tennessee!! Glad to hear from you. was thinking about you all week. glad you didn't wash away. Whatta flood! your dad is right about caring for someone/thing. I want a cat. Mom indicates that she doesn't want a cat but I know she loves cats and I know that cat would find a nice spot with mom and they could sleep together.
Cat on boat: Able SeaCat. At least a cat wouldn't screw up and say something untoward to the harbormaster. Like a parrot might!
Pirate: you gotta love drugs when they work! Continued peace!
Miz: You and hus and momma have a great day and then you guys have a good safe trip.
SS love you baby doll hug your baby doll
Deef! Love the Grand Kitties!
I'm having some more coffee.
lovbob
For all of you who don't have children, it just wasn't meant to be, but your are now parents for your mom's or dad's. I can tell you it really is much the same as raising a child. They are just bigger, messier and more stubborn!!! Have a great day everyone!
~madison