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Thank you SS: A beautiful poem! Hoping you will enjoy the one listed here. I watched the one named 'This Journey' .... intending to pull the site back up and look at the rest of what they offer during some spare time. I like the movie/moving videos of poems; they give the Calgon-take me away effect which is to let you watch it, dream and when you come back to reality, your soul feels the gentleness of God's hand on your shoulders telling you, 'It's ok and He is there with you.' Blessings to you and yours, SS. My feelings tell me that you are a special lady.
SS: So glad you enjoyed it and having already received it in an email, maybe you saw the picture illustrations that went along with it; they were in my sent part of the text but they did not show up --- so sorry about that. Reading good scripts and good poetry is a good outlet; I remember one of the post previously written about listening to music. I agree with the music as I went on a whim and bought a very nice wireless headset that I listen to for hours on end. To hear the music/and songs through the headset is so much more rewarding than just listening to anything over a stereo. I move around quite a bit (unless I'm on the pc, of course) and it's impossible to turn a stereo up loud enough to hear in another room without disturbing the rest of the household, not to mention the dogs which I've read can hear 15 times better than we can. To listen through the headphones brings me a wonderful closed in feeling to where it is only me and what I am listening to. It is a closed-in feeling that is good for me as it helps me to bring my thoughts in to myself and as long as the headset is on my head, I'm not interrupted. Everyone needs their own time to be with 'themselves'. If you haven't tried it, you might and you may be amused at how much better it can make you feel. I hope so. Back to the poetry: If you like poetry and run across anything that would help us all out throughout our days and nights, I'm sure we will all appreciate it. I know I will. God bless you.
I had the same problem with my mom (Alzheimer's). I had to just put everything up out of her reach or keep doors shut with those little toddler covers for the doorknobs. I put out things she could touch and just had to watch her closely. Fortunately we have a small house so she couldn't get very far from me. (She passed away last summer.)
Hello Everyone! I did it! I actually tried something and it went through! So glad I could share the previous post with ALL OF YOU! My best friend and Sister from the Lord sent me this, this afternoon. She had known from a quaint and short email from earlier this morning that I was not in the mood for writing very much. In return, I received a dear note and the previous post I've sent you all, from her. When I finished reading it, everyone of you were the first thing that came to my mind and my thoughts were that I would have to try to share it with you, even if it meant me printing it and having to retype it out. But I tried using multiple tabs, and copied and pasted it into the window's comment box. Pressed 'post comment' ... then went back to check to see if it went on through and praise the Lord, it went through. I hope you all enjoyed it. Remember it on your days and nights, especially if you're having the really low ones. God's peace be with you each dear one. You are all in my prayers and my heart.
Amen, Madison, I had the same visitor many days in a row now. He arrived through email from a friend, but has been visiting me since I was a little girl. Bless you, Sis!
I HAD AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR THIS MORNING. HE ARRIVED EARLY, SAT DOWN WITH ME AND CHATTED FOR A WHILE ABOUT HOW THINGS WERE CURRENTLY GOING FOR ME IN MY LIFE. AFTER VERY CAREFULLY AND COMPASSIONATELY LISTENING TO ALL THAT I HAD TO SAY, HE SAW THE STRESS ON MY FACE AND THE TEARS IN MY EYES.
HE STOOD UP, WALKED OVER TO ME, LEANED OVER AND GENTLY HELD ME FOR AWHILE BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A REALLY BAD MORNING. THEN, AFTER REASSURING ME NOT TO WORRY, THAT EVERYTHING WOULD WORK OUT FOR ME AND BE JUST FINE, HE ASKED ME IF I KNEW OF ANYONE ELSE THAT COULD USE A VISIT FROM HIM.
I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU MY FRIEND. I GAVE HIM YOUR NAME AND TOLD HIM WHERE YOU LIVED. HE GAVE ME ANOTHER REASSURING HUG, THANKED ME AND I WALKED WITH HIM TO MY FRONT DOOR. HE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO YOUR PLACE.
When He gets to your PC, escort Him to the next stop. Please don't allow Him to sleep on your PC. The message He is carrying is very important and needs to go around. I asked him to bless you and yours with peace, happiness and abundance.
Say a prayer, and then pass Him on to bless others as I sent him on to bless you. Our assignment is to spread love, respect and kindness throughout the world.
Have a blessed day and touch somebody's life today as hopefully I have touched your life. He's walking around the world via e-mail!! Please pass it on so He can get there...
Yo Deef... sittin on a pancake, eh? ummmm baby. Even if I say: Sticking to waffles... you still have the 'sticking' image....
I hear you lach. glad we could help someone before it happened to them!
I tell you: I'd give anything right now to see my mom standing there combing her hair with my toothbrush! She used to put water on her hair and poke at it and get it all the way she liked. When I redid her bathroom at home it was perfect for hair poking.
OK: I am studying the 'International Rules of the Road for Inland and Near Coastal Waters' so I know what to do if I see another boat. Har har
Ever since I read about the person with AD using the toothbrush for something other than what it was intended for, I've kept my toothbrushes out of the bathroom (b/r) while she takes a shower.
Ever since I read about the person with AD using the toothbrush for other reasons, I put the toothbrushes in my bathroom (b/r) out of her eyesight whenever it is time for my m-i-l to get a shower. Then I don't have to wonder.
Mom did her major hyperventilating act yesterday after daycare. When she has to go, she obsesses until she does. That means almost passing out from the breathing, constant sitting on the toilet, and then the clogged pipes once she goes. I have to plunge the toilet again before we flush, or I will be swabbing the decks once more. Sometimes I'd rather clean up runny poop than deal with the behavior that comes with constipation! I know it's all the meds she is on, but the mental toll every other day is wearing us both down. Of course then there are the days that she tells me she is sitting on a pancake and I have to clean her up.Occasionally that can happen 3 or 4 times in one day. If we didn't make fun of it or laugh about it, it would be unbearable. One can only hope that when my husband and I are on our first vacation in 2 years, my other siblings who never help, will be getting grossed out while we are sitting on the beach!!! Believe me, humor is the only thing that gets me through the most difficult days. Laughter IS really the best medicine!!
Hi Jodi and you know you're right. Please accept our condolences on the loss of your beloved father. what wonderful memories of you being his hero. So cool. Know what you mean about the moments too.
Paxton knows the purpose of this particular thread which is to relieve gross out stress (which totally exists) and just vent that you're grossed out and then continue on with loving caregiving. Hear you Pax. Read through the thread you are NOT alone.
Jodi, My mom can't speak anymore and has forgotten how to walk etc and I would love to hear her voice again and I cry. I don't want to cry so i look for the funny stuff and some of the gross stuff can be funny and there you go.
Also, if you ARE grossed out, the best way to deal with it is to vent and find out that in no way are you the only one. It's a steam release of extremely stressful caregiving and we are all dealing with the diminishing of our parents and we all know what it means and I know personally that I am already devastated by the loss of my mother and she is still alive. I don't know what I will do when it is her time. Hopefully you'll be around so I can ask you for support because that is where you are on the caregiving path. You are ahead of me.
I was with my mom 24/7 for 5.5 and our story is all over this thread but at times I was so grossed out and stressed out that we can relate to paxton because we went / are going through the same thing.
This doesn't mean that we don't love our folks just as much as you love yours but sometimes we are stressed to the nines and a lof of us WISH we heard our folks say a word of thanks.
Everybody's journey with dementia/caregiving is a truly unique path and here on the Grossed Out thread we invite you to indulge in your goofiness and laugh with us because that is how a lot of us deal with the nasty nasty disease of dementia.
I go see my mom everyday and will be taking her back to nj and her own little bed and her own backyard in full bloom. I love her so much that a lot of times I don't make good decisions for me but we are both looking forward to getting home and I want to see her blue eyes light up.
Even writing that makes me cry, noo kidding, so i have to find something funny. I can't help it, I get so sad that I'll just cry and cry.
BRB getting Prozac.
ok.......
Welcome Jodi and Pax. Hope you come back a lot.
Hey Madison, you like boats? Jodi and Pax Do you guys like boats?
Welcome aboard, Paxton, my FIL does things like that. Sometimes he chokes and sneezes the food out all over the place. Last week it was in my car.
Welcome to you, as well, Jodigirl! Sorry for your recent loss, Jodi. Your dad was blessed to have you. So glad you have those precious memories. Well done, dear caregiver! Hugs from us, too.
C'mon everyone. Put everything into perspective. Be gentle and patient. None of these things are the end of the world. Your parent is changing and you just have to embrace and love them everyday. I cared for dad 24/7 for 3 years. He recently died. I would LOVE to have those moments back because in between the weird things . . . I would get a hug and he would call me his hero.
Good to see us all here, teristeve welcome and good to see you again.
Miz!! I totally get not communicating every now and again. Sometimes I just don't have anything to say and that's that. We're happy to see you and hope you keep us in the loop because we are always interested in what the hey you guys are up to.
TENNESSEE!! forgive me for being an idiot and not hooking this up sooner, but.... are you ok as far as the flooding is concerned? man, unbelievable.
SS you are an amazing gracious lady. so glad you have the blessings of that piano playing little angel!! and I'm so glad you are having time with your dad. I never got that and so I never had the feeling that I had 'done my best' with him and it has made me sad sad sad.
Deef, Flex hope you guys are ok madison: you are a great VOW. voice of wisdom..
I miss KB and Rep and Pamela but I know that they are working their tails off and Pamela is with her mom in the garden working.
We have a great crew here and we're a team keeping each other from going wacko. As long as we all don't go nuts all at once we have a shot at this!!
I am so appreciative of all your inputs! I am new at this full time caregiver position and feel that I have so very much to learn. I wish I had taken some kind of course to help through these difficult times. Reading your suggestions helps so much and I really love to hear about all of your experiences. A truly great book that I have read is "Love Never Sleeps" by Mary Summer Raine. It is a true story and goes through every stage of Alzheimers. It is also a great reference book if you are caring for someone with this terrible disease. Keep on caring for yours and each other. This is a great site.
Hello Everyone. I've not been on here in a long time I know. Sometimes for some reason I just distance myself. I guess just dealing with life gets to be so tiring that I just can't or don't want to think. We're doing okay. Hubby's back is hurting him again. I'm working on our trip to Minneapolis this month. Can't wait!! I haven't read everyone's posts yet. I'm sorry. Love you guys. Hugs to you!!
God gave my son the gift and abilities to play music, and he's given us so much. Playing a few songs is the least we can do for all God's blessings. As I reflect on my lifetime, and that of my parent's, there have been many many blessings. Hard to see them at times. Yes, music is important. It really reaches the heart, and people can relate to it. It can soothe, excite, and calm. It has many qualities and attributes. Too bad we don't think to use it more with our seniors, or ourselves. It's a mood influencer. ~Just a thought... And we love to serve. A smile, a touch, or a song...they all minister; sometimes profoundly.
SS It was so great of your son to give those people the gift of music -I am always amazed that those who hardly know their own name can recalled the words of those old songs I remember leaving the nursing home at night and stopping to listen to the residents singing their hearts out to those old tunes and having such fun for a little while at that point they were ageless.
Thank you for the information on the books and websites. I may see if mom is up to the library tomorrow evening and we can have an outing. Right now she is in her recliner next to me snoring away. She was very painful tonight yet we managed to sit in the back yard and admire the flowers and laugh with the toddler next door. Yes, we have to accept what is" instead of "what used to be", but I miss my "real" mom every day.
Thank you ladies. Wishing you a peaceful night and a sunny tomorrow.
Madison, your words touched my soul. Thank you for posting. Haven't heard from you for a while, and you make life seem graceful, almost. I do like your perspective, though. However, the word graceful doesn't gel with the strokes, incontinence, and angry outbursts, which is sometimes another path illness and disease takes. Thank you for pointing to the creator of all, and changing the focus. It is easy to get lost in the details sometimes, with a worm's eye view, where problems seem like monsters, and us like grasshoppers. Though, in reality, we are NOT in control. Only God is, ultimately. O, we can affect outcomes, at times, and sometimes humans can wreck havoc, but God allows it.
I have seen both: people who grow old gracefully, and those who don't. I think the ones who have God's peace that passes understanding do much better than those who don't. Without God, humans can be angry, complaining, malcontent, and cantankerous. But even Christians can possess a bitter spirit, and some of those characteristics. It is those who walk in the Spirit of God who transcend the worst. Still, we are all human, and NONE perfect. Thanks for your prayers. I pray for my fellow caregivers on here, too.
My son and I spent some relaxing time with my dad today at the nursing home. He has declined, slightly, in the past few weeks. We have been traveling a lot, dealing with a sibling's illness, then funeral, which took us away often. Now I see Dad's recent decline in a less than subtle way. He is not as perky, or articulate (hasn't been for awhile), and now even less so. He's a little more stooped, and seems to sleep more. I don't like the decline, but...at least he's not the raging maniac he was 1-1/2 years ago, still driving out-of-control, but getting lost, and threatening to hit mom, and breaking things. So, perhaps he's aging gracefully, (with the help of medications) if one overlooks the Depends he now has to wear. I'm watching my dad fade away, and some days it's harder than others. I watch things change, and can't control it. I'm not mad, but not joyous about it either. It just is, and sometimes I feel kinda numb. Growing old and dying in one's sleep is one thing, but dying from illness and disease is not a very graceful process sometimes. In fact, in can be extremely painful, both for the person possessing it, and for family members who helplessly stand by, wishing they could be of help, but can't. Don't mean to be depressing in my melancholy. Nursing homes and funerals do that to me.
One bright spot, though: one of the ladies stopped us, and wanted to talk. She's so sweet! I saw her feeding another resident at supper. Another asked my son when he was going to play piano there again. "Would now be good?" So the four of us walked down, and he gave those sweet elderly ladies an impromptu concert, and even my dad joined us, all clapping at my nine year old gift from God (who plays like a 17 year old student). Pretty cool! So, the Lord blessed some weary travelers tonight, and brought a song to a heart or two. Then, we walked my dad back to his favorite sofa, and sang Amazing Grace to another lady. Those are the moments that make it all seem somewhat graceful again. Feeling a bit bittersweet tonight. I do thank God for the nursing home that cares for my two dads. It saves me from having "The 36-Hour Day," (book by Nancy L. Mace, and Peter Rabins, that was asked about earlier.
We all do grow old gracefully, PirateGal. Give it the time and you will see. My Mother was one of the most conscientious people I've ever known in my life and she has endured the challenges of her illness, the embarassments (when she had good memory) and all that went along with her illness progressing. But in time .... you will be able to look back at 'what was' and 'what is, now' and you'll accept the 'what is, now' so openly, it will amaze you. It is a sign that even 'We' are changing. 'We' are learning to accept new ways of how life will be; We learn to let go of alot of the ways we were when we were oh-so-young and thought we could 'run' the world alone. It's not that way any longer. Or it hasn't been for me. I pray though that you will find this peace, for peace is what I call it. The fight to go against what I could not change was larger than me. I've watched my Mother in the last 18 months of going down and I see the most beautiful little angel with a clear picture to me that God is the Alpha and the Omega. It all began in His will and it will all end in His will. Mother was a strong and self supporting lady, a person who cared about all, helped all. She worried about everyone all the time. Now? She does not have the worry in her any longer. It is gone. Forever. While she can still speak to us, she does not ask about anyone, as in caring. It's not that she is like that to be mean, it's simply that 'It's not there in her brain any longer to care' ..... and I take this as a blessing from the Lord. I do wish I had 'all of her' back with me; I miss talking like we use to talk but I see her every single day and I talk and jabber about anything and everything and my joy is when I see her smile or even giggle as she did last week. That is when I have seen one quick glimpse of my real Mom. Just hang on dear one and let God be your lighthouse; there is nothing that He cannot handle 'For You'. You are in my prayers.
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APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
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APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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Blessings to you and yours, SS. My feelings tell me that you are a special lady.
Reading good scripts and good poetry is a good outlet; I remember one of the post previously written about listening to music. I agree with the music as I went on a whim and bought a very nice wireless headset that I listen to for hours on end. To hear the music/and songs through the headset is so much more rewarding than just listening to anything over a stereo. I move around quite a bit (unless I'm on the pc, of course) and it's impossible to turn a stereo up loud enough to hear in another room without disturbing the rest of the household, not to mention the dogs which I've read can hear 15 times better than we can. To listen through the headphones brings me a wonderful closed in feeling to where it is only me and what I am listening to. It is a closed-in feeling that is good for me as it helps me to bring my thoughts in to myself and as long as the headset is on my head, I'm not interrupted. Everyone needs their own time to be with 'themselves'. If you haven't tried it, you might and you may be amused at how much better it can make you feel. I hope so.
Back to the poetry: If you like poetry and run across anything that would help us all out throughout our days and nights, I'm sure we will all appreciate it. I know I will. God bless you.
I did it! I actually tried something and it went through! So glad I could share the previous post with ALL OF YOU! My best friend and Sister from the Lord sent me this, this afternoon. She had known from a quaint and short email from earlier this morning that I was not in the mood for writing very much. In return, I received a dear note and the previous post I've sent you all, from her. When I finished reading it, everyone of you were the first thing that came to my mind and my thoughts were that I would have to try to share it with you, even if it meant me printing it and having to retype it out. But I tried using multiple tabs, and copied and pasted it into the window's comment box. Pressed 'post comment' ... then went back to check to see if it went on through and praise the Lord, it went through. I hope you all enjoyed it. Remember it on your days and nights, especially if you're having the really low ones.
God's peace be with you each dear one. You are all in my prayers and my heart.
I HAD AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR THIS MORNING. HE ARRIVED EARLY, SAT DOWN WITH ME AND CHATTED FOR A WHILE ABOUT HOW THINGS WERE CURRENTLY GOING FOR ME IN MY LIFE. AFTER VERY CAREFULLY AND COMPASSIONATELY LISTENING TO ALL THAT I HAD TO SAY, HE SAW THE STRESS ON MY FACE AND THE TEARS IN MY EYES.
HE STOOD UP, WALKED OVER TO ME, LEANED OVER AND GENTLY HELD ME FOR AWHILE BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A REALLY BAD MORNING. THEN, AFTER REASSURING ME NOT TO WORRY, THAT EVERYTHING WOULD WORK OUT FOR ME AND BE JUST FINE, HE ASKED ME IF I KNEW OF ANYONE ELSE THAT COULD USE A VISIT FROM HIM.
I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU MY FRIEND. I GAVE HIM YOUR NAME AND TOLD HIM WHERE YOU LIVED. HE GAVE ME ANOTHER REASSURING HUG, THANKED ME AND I WALKED WITH HIM TO MY FRONT DOOR. HE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO YOUR PLACE.
When He gets to your PC, escort Him to the next stop. Please don't allow Him to sleep on your PC. The message He is carrying is very important and needs to go around. I asked him to bless you and yours with peace, happiness and abundance.
Say a prayer, and then pass Him on to bless others as I sent him on to bless you. Our assignment is to spread love, respect and kindness throughout the world.
Have a blessed day and touch somebody's life today as hopefully I have touched your life. He's walking around the world via e-mail!! Please pass it on so He can get there...
Yo Deef... sittin on a pancake, eh? ummmm baby. Even if I say: Sticking to waffles... you still have the 'sticking' image....
I hear you lach. glad we could help someone before it happened to them!
I tell you: I'd give anything right now to see my mom standing there combing her hair with my toothbrush! She used to put water on her hair and poke at it and get it all the way she liked. When I redid her bathroom at home it was perfect for hair poking.
OK: I am studying the 'International Rules of the Road for Inland and Near Coastal Waters' so I know what to do if I see another boat. Har har
lovbob
out of the bathroom (b/r) while she takes a shower.
calgon take me away !
I'm going to think about the beach, while working in my garden.
Of course then there are the days that she tells me she is sitting on a pancake and I have to clean her up.Occasionally that can happen 3 or 4 times in one day. If we didn't make fun of it or laugh about it, it would be unbearable. One can only hope that when my husband and I are on our first vacation in 2 years, my other siblings who never help, will be getting grossed out while we are sitting on the beach!!!
Believe me, humor is the only thing that gets me through the most difficult days. Laughter IS really the best medicine!!
Paxton knows the purpose of this particular thread which is to relieve gross out stress (which totally exists) and just vent that you're grossed out and then continue on with loving caregiving. Hear you Pax. Read through the thread you are NOT alone.
Jodi, My mom can't speak anymore and has forgotten how to walk etc and I would love to hear her voice again and I cry. I don't want to cry so i look for the funny stuff and some of the gross stuff can be funny and there you go.
Also, if you ARE grossed out, the best way to deal with it is to vent and find out that in no way are you the only one. It's a steam release of extremely stressful caregiving and we are all dealing with the diminishing of our parents and we all know what it means and I know personally that I am already devastated by the loss of my mother and she is still alive. I don't know what I will do when it is her time. Hopefully you'll be around so I can ask you for support because that is where you are on the caregiving path. You are ahead of me.
I was with my mom 24/7 for 5.5 and our story is all over this thread but at times I was so grossed out and stressed out that we can relate to paxton because we went / are going through the same thing.
This doesn't mean that we don't love our folks just as much as you love yours but sometimes we are stressed to the nines and a lof of us WISH we heard our folks say a word of thanks.
Everybody's journey with dementia/caregiving is a truly unique path and here on the Grossed Out thread we invite you to indulge in your goofiness and laugh with us because that is how a lot of us deal with the nasty nasty disease of dementia.
I go see my mom everyday and will be taking her back to nj and her own little bed and her own backyard in full bloom. I love her so much that a lot of times I don't make good decisions for me but we are both looking forward to getting home and I want to see her blue eyes light up.
Even writing that makes me cry, noo kidding, so i have to find something funny. I can't help it, I get so sad that I'll just cry and cry.
BRB getting Prozac.
ok.......
Welcome Jodi and Pax. Hope you come back a lot.
Hey Madison, you like boats?
Jodi and Pax Do you guys like boats?
off to look for something funny.....
lovbob
Welcome to you, as well, Jodigirl! Sorry for your recent loss, Jodi. Your dad was blessed to have you. So glad you have those precious memories. Well done, dear caregiver! Hugs from us, too.
Good to see us all here, teristeve welcome and good to see you again.
Miz!! I totally get not communicating every now and again. Sometimes I just don't have anything to say and that's that. We're happy to see you and hope you keep us in the loop because we are always interested in what the hey you guys are up to.
TENNESSEE!! forgive me for being an idiot and not hooking this up sooner, but.... are you ok as far as the flooding is concerned? man, unbelievable.
SS you are an amazing gracious lady. so glad you have the blessings of that piano playing little angel!! and I'm so glad you are having time with your dad. I never got that and so I never had the feeling that I had 'done my best' with him and it has made me sad sad sad.
Deef, Flex hope you guys are ok madison: you are a great VOW. voice of wisdom..
I miss KB and Rep and Pamela but I know that they are working their tails off and Pamela is with her mom in the garden working.
We have a great crew here and we're a team keeping each other from going wacko. As long as we all don't go nuts all at once we have a shot at this!!
lovbob
Hi Miz, I've missed you. Can't wait to hear all about that great trip you and hubby have planned. Hopefully he's feeling better soon. How's your mom?
A truly great book that I have read is "Love Never Sleeps" by Mary Summer Raine. It is a true story and goes through every stage of Alzheimers. It is also a great reference book if you are caring for someone with this terrible disease.
Keep on caring for yours and each other. This is a great site.
love,
miz
Thank you for the information on the books and websites. I may see if mom is up to the library tomorrow evening and we can have an outing. Right now she is in her recliner next to me snoring away. She was very painful tonight yet we managed to sit in the back yard and admire the flowers and laugh with the toddler next door. Yes, we have to accept what is" instead of "what used to be", but I miss my "real" mom every day.
Thank you ladies. Wishing you a peaceful night and a sunny tomorrow.
I have seen both: people who grow old gracefully, and those who don't. I think the ones who have God's peace that passes understanding do much better than those who don't. Without God, humans can be angry, complaining, malcontent, and cantankerous. But even Christians can possess a bitter spirit, and some of those characteristics. It is those who walk in the Spirit of God who transcend the worst. Still, we are all human, and NONE perfect. Thanks for your prayers. I pray for my fellow caregivers on here, too.
My son and I spent some relaxing time with my dad today at the nursing home. He has declined, slightly, in the past few weeks. We have been traveling a lot, dealing with a sibling's illness, then funeral, which took us away often. Now I see Dad's recent decline in a less than subtle way. He is not as perky, or articulate (hasn't been for awhile), and now even less so. He's a little more stooped, and seems to sleep more. I don't like the decline, but...at least he's not the raging maniac he was 1-1/2 years ago, still driving out-of-control, but getting lost, and threatening to hit mom, and breaking things. So, perhaps he's aging gracefully, (with the help of medications) if one overlooks the Depends he now has to wear. I'm watching my dad fade away, and some days it's harder than others. I watch things change, and can't control it. I'm not mad, but not joyous about it either. It just is, and sometimes I feel kinda numb. Growing old and dying in one's sleep is one thing, but dying from illness and disease is not a very graceful process sometimes. In fact, in can be extremely painful, both for the person possessing it, and for family members who helplessly stand by, wishing they could be of help, but can't. Don't mean to be depressing in my melancholy. Nursing homes and funerals do that to me.
One bright spot, though: one of the ladies stopped us, and wanted to talk. She's so sweet! I saw her feeding another resident at supper. Another asked my son when he was going to play piano there again. "Would now be good?" So the four of us walked down, and he gave those sweet elderly ladies an impromptu concert, and even my dad joined us, all clapping at my nine year old gift from God (who plays like a 17 year old student). Pretty cool! So, the Lord blessed some weary travelers tonight, and brought a song to a heart or two. Then, we walked my dad back to his favorite sofa, and sang Amazing Grace to another lady. Those are the moments that make it all seem somewhat graceful again. Feeling a bit bittersweet tonight. I do thank God for the nursing home that cares for my two dads. It saves me from having "The 36-Hour Day," (book by Nancy L. Mace, and Peter Rabins, that was asked about earlier.
I've watched my Mother in the last 18 months of going down and I see the most beautiful little angel with a clear picture to me that God is the Alpha and the Omega. It all began in His will and it will all end in His will. Mother was a strong and self supporting lady, a person who cared about all, helped all. She worried about everyone all the time. Now? She does not have the worry in her any longer. It is gone. Forever. While she can still speak to us, she does not ask about anyone, as in caring. It's not that she is like that to be mean, it's simply that 'It's not there in her brain any longer to care' ..... and I take this as a blessing from the Lord.
I do wish I had 'all of her' back with me; I miss talking like we use to talk but I see her every single day and I talk and jabber about anything and everything and my joy is when I see her smile or even giggle as she did last week. That is when I have seen one quick glimpse of my real Mom.
Just hang on dear one and let God be your lighthouse; there is nothing that He cannot handle 'For You'. You are in my prayers.