Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
K, you are a loving daughter. A very bad thing has happened in your life. It is normal to feel bad about it. It is OK to cry about it. Feeling angry seems appropriate, but I can never find a target for my anger, except the disease. I hate dementia! If your bad feelings are overwhelming and stopping you from functioning, don't hesitate to see a counselor or therapist. You are not crazy and you don't need to be "fixed." But you are hurting. Come here to vent. That helps. If it is not enough, join a local support group or find a professional to help you. You deserve it!
Is your mother on insulin? What kind of diabetic medications is she on? Do you know what her last A1c test result was? I just ask because these things make a diference in deciding how often to do a finger prick. The NH practice seems to bother you. Maybe we can do a reality check on whether that is bothersome or not. How often did Mom check her bs at home? What did she do about the results? Does she get some exercise in this NH? Have you been there at mealtimes? What is the food like? Is Mom overweight? Is her weight stable? I know discussing her diabetes isn't the main issue, and resolving your concern won't take away the pain of her being away from you and especially of her dementia. But it might easy your mind a little.
and her babble ,and how overmedicated she is- i just cant stand it-she has diabetes,when i asked what her b/s has been first they said oh is fine-i said what has it been how often is it taken their answer was 2 -twice a day on tuesdays---i couldnt believe it what about the rest of the week nope only on tuesdays that really made me feel like she was in the right place- i have and do ,when i visit-we hug and hold eachother,kiss a million times,hold hands,touch her hair,face, love her up-always say i love u and she says same to me.she has some familiar things on the walls, but she cant see that far-i have brought her a bear i got her a few years ago it is a vermont fairy bear-with wings, a fairy dress, sparkle- and a bear in a pink running suit- that is easier to cuddle- and yes i just made her an Afghan and gave it to her about 3 weeks ago-she loves it- when i do call- i always say no matter where we are- she is always in my heart and i will be in hers- we always say that maybe i will start sending a card daily- although i dont know if she will get it- i hate this whole thing-this disease is the worst on everyone- i miss my mom sometimes i cant stop crying- im such an emotional idiot sometimes-i dont know what or howt to deal with this, most of the time.
and sometimes just need to complain, be angry at everyone, i thank u for your post i feel like u heard me and that is a good feeling when u feel all alone. love and huggs back to u k
I can imagine how painful this must be for you. It would break my heart to hear that. I don't know that it helps a lot, but be aware that many people with dementia want to "go home" all the time. That doesn't mean they aren't where they need to be, or that going home is possible or even that they literally want to go home. My husband kept begging to go home. It was not possible to bring him home because that is exactly where he was -- at home, with me, with all our familiar possessions and personal pictures, etc. As heart breaking as it is, we can't always give our loved ones with dementia what they say they want.
Can you visit your mom often? Can you hug her and hold her hand and just be with her? Does she have familiar items, pictures, etc. in her room? Can you bring her something cuddly, like an afghan or a teddy bear or a pretty pillow, and tell her when she needs a hug from you and you can't be there she can hug this? Then on the phone you can say Mom, I love you. Please hug the bear for me.
Would she like getting a cute little card in the mail from you each day?
You don't have the responsibility of her daily care, so you can focus your energy on helping her feel loved and not alone, through visits, phone calls, and cards.
The one thing we can't do as caregivers is the one thing they really want above all else -- we can't make the dementia go away. That is very, very painful.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is your mother on insulin? What kind of diabetic medications is she on? Do you know what her last A1c test result was? I just ask because these things make a diference in deciding how often to do a finger prick. The NH practice seems to bother you. Maybe we can do a reality check on whether that is bothersome or not. How often did Mom check her bs at home? What did she do about the results? Does she get some exercise in this NH? Have you been there at mealtimes? What is the food like? Is Mom overweight? Is her weight stable? I know discussing her diabetes isn't the main issue, and resolving your concern won't take away the pain of her being away from you and especially of her dementia. But it might easy your mind a little.
Hang in there! You are doing things right.
i just cant stand it-she has diabetes,when i asked what her b/s has been
first they said oh is fine-i said
what has it been how often is it taken
their answer was 2 -twice a day
on tuesdays---i couldnt believe it
what about the rest of the week
nope only on tuesdays
that really made me feel like she was in the right place-
i have and do ,when i visit-we hug and hold eachother,kiss a million times,hold hands,touch her hair,face,
love her up-always say i love u and she says same to me.she has some familiar things on the walls, but she cant see that far-i have brought her a bear i got her a few years ago
it is a vermont fairy bear-with wings, a fairy dress, sparkle- and a bear in a pink running suit- that is easier to cuddle-
and yes i just made her an Afghan and gave it to her about 3 weeks ago-she loves it-
when i do call- i always say no matter where we are- she is always in my heart and i will be in hers-
we always say that
maybe i will start sending a card daily- although i dont know if she will get it-
i hate this whole thing-this disease is the worst
on everyone-
i miss my mom
sometimes i cant stop crying-
im such an emotional idiot sometimes-i dont know what or howt to deal with this,
most of the time.
and sometimes just need to complain, be angry at everyone,
i thank u for your post
i feel like u heard me
and that is a good feeling when u feel all alone.
love and huggs back to u
k
Can you visit your mom often? Can you hug her and hold her hand and just be with her? Does she have familiar items, pictures, etc. in her room? Can you bring her something cuddly, like an afghan or a teddy bear or a pretty pillow, and tell her when she needs a hug from you and you can't be there she can hug this? Then on the phone you can say Mom, I love you. Please hug the bear for me.
Would she like getting a cute little card in the mail from you each day?
You don't have the responsibility of her daily care, so you can focus your energy on helping her feel loved and not alone, through visits, phone calls, and cards.
The one thing we can't do as caregivers is the one thing they really want above all else -- we can't make the dementia go away. That is very, very painful.
Hugs to you.