Having responsible parents and POA.

So many "shoulds" in your comment. I so agree with all you say and as an 80 year old I have long ago and repeatedly done all you said where my own children are concerned. My advance directive was done decades ago, but I was a nurse and daily saw firsthand the nightmares that ensue when there is none. Mine was so old that I recently did a new one.
My children themselves are aging and I have encouraged THEM to do their own wills and POAs. Americans in particular have a hard time with the inevitability of death and dying and all that comes before it. I have a friend home now dying of liver cancer who cannot get out of bed, who is on hospice and who did her will the week she was diagnosed four weeks ago and still has no POA, so that it is a nightmare her trying to simply get money OUT of a money market and INTO her checking to pay for her now needed 24/7 care. It is putting a tremendous added burden on herself and her close loved ones. Your advice is a good reminder to all.

Your parents chose who they wanted as POA (or joint ? POA's in your parent's case) and right or wrong, it is their choice. Usually, a POA is either the eldest child or the child who is perceived as best being able to take care of the parent's finances whether because of proximity to where they live, their history in handling their own money or some other factor. If your parents are still able to make decisions, ask them what their rationale was for the POA appointment. But be prepared to provide FACTS if you are going to accuse their POA's of mismanagement. Quite frankly, it sounds like you have family relationship problems that occurred long before the POA decision by your parents. Perhaps, your parents saw that you had your own issues to resolve before being able to take on the responsibility of handling their financial and legal affairs. My husband is his mom's POA and it is difficult and time consuming. His brother, an attorney, who lives in another state is very grateful for what he does. There is pretty good communication. His sister is bitter and as her dad told us, she always had wanted to compete with my husband even when there really was no competition like with the choice of POA.

If you honestly think they are not fulfilling their fiduciary responsibilities as a POAs, then you can seek help through an attorney to challenge their role as POA's for your parents in court. You will have to have more than an opinion that they are evil and greedy for any action to be taken.

One minute you are writing religious posts thanking God for this that and the other thing, next minute, you're writing this post calling your SIL and now you're eldest adopted brother 'a-holes' for having POA for your mother in law and saying you have no respect for either one of them and accusing them of being 'evil & greedy'!

I am reporting my post so the mods can remove your offense word/language.

kenobuddy, only thing we can do is pass down to the next generation what to do. Will they listen, maybe yes, maybe no.

You can have siblings from the same family, one who hangs onto every dime, and another who keeps filing bankruptcy due to over spending.

There is the very older generation who will give the son Power of Attorney because he is the male, even though he is reckless when it comes to handling money, and overlook their daughter who is a CPA.

Learning about Power of Attorney, Wills, Trusts, etc. isn't easy. Some learn from friends who may or may not have the right information. Some POA's will know exact what their "job" is and when to put it into place. Others will just assume they can take over whenever they feel like it.

That is just how the world works.