Follow
Share

God bless these folks! We have one (private for 3 years) who comes in 4 hours a day. What is sad is that one works all their life and then the money gets drained on healthcare-related things.



I'm curious what many of you are doing to help with an elderly relative. The home health care agencies are not often reliable.

Find Care & Housing
I will have to have help the rest of my life. I have 8 years to be paid by my long term insurance. Even with insurance my aides and medical expenses are high. My pension income and Social Security cover everything now but I've learned you never know what the future will hold. If statistics on dialysis are accurate I probably have 8 or 9 years left.
(0)
Report

My parents had 4 children. My Dad was a blue collar worker and Mom a homemaker. They lived from pay to pay. Dad had to retire at 52 from heart desease. TG he got 30 yrs in where he worked and was able to get SSD. They lived but nothing left to plan for "old age" Dad always said he wouldn't live passed 67, when his Dad died. Every Christmas was probably his last. He lived till he was 79. Going quietly in his sleep. Mom she passed at 89. She had put Dads insurance money in CDs and never touched it. That was used for her stay in an AL and then Medicaid was needed for LTC. She passed 3 months after receiving Medicaid. She was on Hospice and passed peacefully.

I don't think our parents ever thought they would live to be in their 90s relying on others for their care. We have money invested but that doesn't mean we won't lose it.
(0)
Report

Lealonnie, My husband and I decided to get our house "senior ready" before we took any trips. Got that finished and were ready to start planning travel when he died of a heart attack. I had gotten to the point of making some plans for myself when I had my accident. I am glad we did the house. It's made it possible for me to be at home and able to do a lot for myself. The good news is that my stepson is taking me to The Greenbrier in WV in a few weeks.
(2)
Report

Becky, I'm sorry you didn't get the chance to travel before your accident. DH and I did get to do some traveling ourselves, for which I'm forever grateful. I think those days are behind us now that he's had a liver transplant and is immuno-suppressed for life, though. At least we won't be doing exotic travels anymore...LOL. Things change and we have to adapt, right? I'm glad you are not relying on Medicaid, too, that's a relief. We have good insurance ourselves thank God, so that has proven to be a huge benefit for us.
(1)
Report

Lealonnie, Great response. I've worked and saved for as did my husband. It would have been nice to do some traveling, but that didn't happen. My accident has brought home how good it is to have the money for good private care. I'm glad that I won't have to rely on Medicaid and I'm glad that my parents didn't have too either. I'll happily spend my money on care and assistance.
(2)
Report

I always find it weird to read statements like yours, saying how 'sad it is that one works all their life and then the money gets drained on healthcare-related things.' What are savings supposed to be used for in old age? Cruises around the world? In a fantasy world, maybe. But in reality, we get sick when we get old and if we're very lucky, we DO have savings that can be used to get excellent healthcare related things with. Otherwise, we're relegated to Medicaid, like my cousin, who was given SO many drugs by SO many Medicaid doctors that she developed drug-related Parkinson's at 70 years old and is now a hot mess and requiring two people to help her get around. That's what's very sad, imo.

My parents were fortunate enough to have the funds to live in an excellent Assisted Living community until they passed away. Had they not had the finances to do that, they'd have lived with a roommate in a Skilled Nursing Facility which would not have been nearly as wonderful as it was in their ALF. I made sure to watch their money like a hawk so it would last long enough TO finance their lives until they passed. I didn't get an inheritance, but that's fine. Their money was theirs to use for their own care. They had a ton of health issues that required managed care, so I thank God they were able to live in AL and then Memory Care for mom. I'm glad their money was drained for their care in their old age, truthfully.

What I did to help them was, I managed their entire lives for the 10.5 years they lived close by, after dad had to stop driving and I moved them to my state. As their only child, it all fell on me; the finances, the moves, the hospitalizations, the rehabs, the doctors, the specialists, hospice, all of it. I also decorated their apartments for the holidays, took them out to dinner, and about a million other things. Even with having them in managed care, it was a TON of work for those 10.5 years, that's for sure!

Before my folks moved here, I was a caregiver to elders thru Home Instead, an agency. I'd cook, clean, take elders' to appointments, run errands, grocery shop, help them with showers, and provide companionship too.
(2)
Report

Our family was greatly blessed by my dad’s hired helper. She came into a situation where he was firmly against “having someone in my house” and quickly turned into a valuable friend. She cooked, cleaned, drove, etc, anything asked of her. We hired her privately. During the interview I learned that she had worked in nursing homes and grew weary of it because of being corrected for not going fast enough, as in taking time to feed and change residents with care and not rush them. She only asked if my dad was mean. I recognize that not everyone finds such good help. This fine lady and I keep in touch to this day, we both talk of missing my sweet dad. There are great people doing this hard work, hard to fine for sure, but so grateful for the good ones
(2)
Report

Home/health care agencies are usually not reliable. The unicorn of an agency that is and is staffed by caregivers who actually have company training and company support, is the only one.
I was an in-home caregiver mostly to elderly for almost 25 years. I am currently residing in the 7th level (my mother's house) and am caregiver to her.
I will say this with absolute sincerity. Taking on the the responsibility and care for elderly relatives ruins lives. Don't do it.
(8)
Report

One's "golden years" are not all about taking Alaskan cruises and playing golf. Rethink the purpose of one's retirement savings as being for all those things, but also for the less-fun purposes of dealing with aging and the care that goes along with it. Few of us are lucky enough to drop dead on the 18th green and leave our fortune to our children like Bing Crosby.
(3)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter