I would have divorced him years ago especially after I learned he was also unfaithful. He traveled most of the times and we have two children. I guess I stayed with him for the children and couldn't see how I could make it financially without him. My children are now grown. After 46 years of marriage he still the condescending and abusive person he always was to me anyway. Except now I am always the bad guy. I am just freaking tired and want out. I'd like to enjoy my grand babies and travel a little. Instead I am the hired help with no gratitude whatsoever. Help! And don't say it's just the disease.
So, what would you like to have happen? A divorce? A legal separation? Just to get away, perhaps staying with each of your children several weeks? Do you want to stay in the house and have him removed?
I think you need a lawyer to tell you what your options are. Pick a firm that has both experts in Elder Law and in Family Law. Start with the Elder Law attorney. No matter what else happens, you are no longer willing to care for this man. What agencies should you notify? What is the best way to handle his care financially? And the family lawyer can talk to you about divorce, separation, alimony, what happens to the house, etc. etc.
I hope you can find away to take some time away to yourself and sort things through.