What makes you angry? You don't say how far along he is in his AD journey. There is a point at which we as caregivers reach our limit of tolerance, emotional and physical. To try to take care of him beyond these limits only encourages anger and desensitizes the caregiver to the LO's needs. It's time to find hubby a new "home". Start looking at care facilities.
Most caregivers feel overwhelmed at times, and some do all of the time. This is impossibly hard work. Knowing my limitations I have always recognized that I could never do this a single month in my life. And that comes from someone with a lifelong career as a nurse that I totally loved. But nurses are well paid where I live, and get 16 hours off every day. Under those circumstance we could "be sweet and nice". It is impossible not to have outbursts. Think of living with a partner you CHOSE and you LOVE so much, but day in and day out you are bound to get into it. The same with a parent. And if that person is not well mentally then it is 1,000 times worse. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Try to give yourself room for being human. You aren't a Saint. If you were we would just shoot you full of arrows, kill you, and then pray for you to fix everything for us for an eternity. These are hard times, with isolation added to everything else. Give yourself a break. Come back later and say "Sorry. I wasn't nice. I am gonna try to do better".
It is impossible not to have outbursts. Think of living with a partner you CHOSE and you LOVE so much, but day in and day out you are bound to get into it. The same with a parent. And if that person is not well mentally then it is 1,000 times worse.
Try not to be too hard on yourself. Try to give yourself room for being human. You aren't a Saint. If you were we would just shoot you full of arrows, kill you, and then pray for you to fix everything for us for an eternity.
These are hard times, with isolation added to everything else. Give yourself a break. Come back later and say "Sorry. I wasn't nice. I am gonna try to do better".
Is it your husband who's sending you over the edge, or is someone meddling - what's made you angry?