Hi. I'm Jackie I'm 58. My husband Tom is 68.
I'm on disability due to RA, Fibromyalgia, DDD, osteoarthritis, depression/anxiety, etc.
My husband has numerous things wrong. Leukemia, diabetes, congestive heart failure, etc.
He's been in and out of the hospital numerous times. He's gone to a facility to get physical therapy. I've had home health come in here.
He's fallen multiple times in the home. He takes his insulin and eats and then lays in bed all day and wakes up in a sweat. Last time his blood sugar was 63. He ate a few cookies and went back to bed.
I've called 911 so many times it's unreal for him.
Anyhow, I picked him up from the hospital and took him to a nursing home. It's not going to be temporary this time. It's going to be permanent.
Why am I crying all last night and today? Why do I feel like crap? My health issues are worsening and I can't take care of him anymore.
He got pissed at me and said you want to get rid of me.
Thanks for letting me vent. I feel so guilty.
I have faith that you will get through this. It may take a little time to adjust to him being out of the house.
It will take time for him to adjust. He may feel abandoned right now but you know in your heart that you did not abandon him. He will realize this in time too. Give him a bit of time to adapt to his new circumstances.
You did all that you possibly could. When you felt that your caregiving was taking a toll on you, you were wise enough to let go. That took courage!
Allowing others to take over with professional care is so much better than holding on when a person no longer has the emotional or physical strength to do it.
Take care of yourself. Visit him when you are able. Be his wife again, not his one and only caregiver. That is too much for most people.
I wish you peace and joy. You deserve it.
In my opinion, it's much more important for you to be in good shape to be his loving wife and advocate. I'm so sorry that he can't see that.
It sounds like he is having a little snit. Don't take his words to heart. (((((Hugs))))))