Not a question, just something I needed to say. I recently spent two weeks back east getting my folks moved to the next, and final, level of care at their facility. Mom and Dad both have dementia that manifests differently. Dad recently began falling and fell on his head three times in three days, so we knew it was time for skilled care.

I spent 12 hours for twelve days straight with my folks who both had been in assisted living. During this time Mom was still in assisted and Dad was already in skilled. It was a rough two weeks getting everything settled and helping my folks navigate the changes (again, but this time with more exaggerated dementia).

But what struck me most was how fortunate I am. My folks chose to move to a graduated care facility when Mom was diagnosed with AD, beginning with independent living. It is a wonderful, if not modern, facility, where the staff really do care. Sure, it would be great if there were more staff and the buildings were more modern. But hearing what some of you have been through, I remain grateful they are where they are.

Those of you who provide care 24/7 in your homes are heroes and angels. I have no idea how you do it. Several times during those two weeks I found myself at my very end, and once had to hide to cry.

My heart goes out to everyone in this group. It’s a journey we all seem to walk at some point. But for many it is more like climbing Mount Everest. Bless you all. Be kind to yourselves.

Wishing you all peace, strength, and wisdom on the road.

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This is SUCH a loving group of people!

Melissa, what a relief when BOTH parents accept that they need a higher level of care, and they act on it. Relief meaning, not having to be hands-on care. I also don't know how caregivers who are under the same roof doing hands-on care day in and day out are doing it. I know I had crashed and burned twice doing the logistical items.

My own Mom refused moving to a place where she wouldn't need to worry about major housekeeping or washing bedding/towels, and having to walk up flights of stairs. But Mom dug in her heels. Even refused caregivers. Nope, nada, never.

Once my Mom had passed, Dad was ready to pack up, sell the house, and move to Independent Living, and later over to Memory Care. He knew he needed a village to help him. Oh how Dad wished my Mom would have done that earlier on before she passed, she might have been with Dad a year or so longer [both were in their mid-to-late 90's].

I want to thank you for your post. I'm sure the others who come to this page, really appreciate a voice of understanding. I do too, of course, but for me it's long after the fact. Mom and Dad both had dementia, exhibiting slightly differently; but that was the most horrible 15 years of my life. And I too, used to have to hide to cry. Other people in my life just didn't want to hear, or know the misery involved. But that is past for me now, since both parents are now passed on . I still stop in here to answer a question or two , when I can. Just know that having someone, anyone who understands what you're going through can make the world of difference. ... So keep posting, for all those still in the thick of it.

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