My husband has been admitted to a nursing home for dementia and a stroke. The nursing home is a two hour drive to visit him. I am lost, grieving his company and alone.
Sending love and prayers for you and your husband. This is an extremely difficult situation to find yourself in and there are no easy answers and being two hours away only adds to feeling that much more alone. Just wondering if that's the only nursing home that could take him.
Maybe you could find some things to make for him like homemade cards or write him some love letters (treats if he is able to have them) that way maybe you would feel like he's a little closer and the next time you go visit take them to him. It might be therapeutic for you as well as occupy your mind a little. Make it a special moment with a cup of something you both enjoyed whether it was coffee, tea or whatever else the two of you liked.
Echoing what "MJ1029" said when she journaled during her father's illness, I did the same thing. It was quite helpful and now I have it as a keepsake as there's no way I would be able to remember all the special moments now that 16 years have passed.
I hope you will please let us know how you both are doing whenever you can!
goldiegirl, I am so sorry. Nothing I can say or do can make this OK. I heard a thing on NPR the other day about how the Suicide Hot Lines are getting so many calls now from depressed and hopeless folks who really don't want to "end it all" but who are so desperately lonely and at loose ends. I hope you have SOMETHING that comforts you, whether listening to books on tape, reading, gardening, sewing. I hope there is some way you can find relief. I just don't have more to give you. I am so very sorry. For both you and your husband.
I don't know if it'll help, but when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I moved in with my parents to care for them both. Without thinking consciously about it beyond needing to remember details when my brain was foggy, I found myself writing in a spiral notebook every night. After my dad died, I realized I'd been able to offload my fears, worries, and emotions in that notebook, and it enabled me to keep going the next day.
Consider trying journaling to have a way to release that pain. It might make the rest of your life a little easier to handle. Reach out to friends and neighbors and let them know you need some support. People are kind when they know someone needs help.
Sending love and prayers for you and your husband. This is an extremely difficult situation to find yourself in and there are no easy answers and being two hours away only adds to feeling that much more alone. Just wondering if that's the only nursing home that could take him.
Maybe you could find some things to make for him like homemade cards or write him some love letters (treats if he is able to have them) that way maybe you would feel like he's a little closer and the next time you go visit take them to him. It might be therapeutic for you as well as occupy your mind a little. Make it a special moment with a cup of something you both enjoyed whether it was coffee, tea or whatever else the two of you liked.
Echoing what "MJ1029" said when she journaled during her father's illness, I did the same thing. It was quite helpful and now I have it as a keepsake as there's no way I would be able to remember all the special moments now that 16 years have passed.
I hope you will please let us know how you both are doing whenever you can!
Thinking of you and sending you a warm hug.
x Arwen
Home must feel very empty without him. When was he admitted to the NH, just today?
I don't know if it'll help, but when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I moved in with my parents to care for them both. Without thinking consciously about it beyond needing to remember details when my brain was foggy, I found myself writing in a spiral notebook every night. After my dad died, I realized I'd been able to offload my fears, worries, and emotions in that notebook, and it enabled me to keep going the next day.
Consider trying journaling to have a way to release that pain. It might make the rest of your life a little easier to handle. Reach out to friends and neighbors and let them know you need some support. People are kind when they know someone needs help.
I am so sorry for your loss. You need to be gentle with yourself and find ways to feel productive every day.
Being a full time caregiver takes everything a person has, so you have a giant hole that needs filling.
Send cards and letters, make phone calls and find ways to connect without the 2 hour trip.
I pray that each day brings you healing.