My 90 year old mom moved in with us 8 months ago. She suffers from generalized anxiety disorder and it manifests by her getting very short of breath. It is so difficult to deal with and having never really dealt with someone with such severe anxiety my tendency is to want her to "snap out of it." From what I read, it really is out of her control. But sometimes, honestly, I feel that she uses it to get attention, pity, whatever she wants at that time. I finally had it set up that she would stay with my sister for a whole week. I was ecstatic and felt that I would be "free" for 7 whole days. Well, that was a disaster. She lasted two nights and her anxiety was so over the top that my sister had to ask to send her back here. I have not felt the same since, just lost and frustrated and overwhelmed and feeling trapped. I know my own health is suffering. I guess I am just needing to vent. Thank you for "listening." Anyone else ever feel this way?
Thanks, again, for hearing my comments. This is a lonely road at times.
Is she on medication? When was it last evaluated? Perhaps an adjustment is needed. Does she know some techniques for helping herself? Breathing techniques or self-talk or anything she can use to calm herself down? If not, I wonder if she is seeing the right kind of specialist.
But no matter what you know about her condition, and no matter what tools she has at her disposal, this really does not sound like a one-person job! You need regular breaks. As freqflyer says, if she cannot afford additional help, your next task might be to find out what kind of financial aid she is eligible for.
Does she have other disabilities in addition to the anxiety? Can she perform all activities of daily living on her own? Does she help with the housework? Is she pleasant to have around? If she could get a better handle on the anxiety and you had some time off, would the arrangement of her living with you work out?
If not, if you have gotten into something that really is not what you expected and that you do not wish to continue in, then your focus needs to be on finding her a suitable care center.
I have only had a panic attack once, as a med side-effect. I was told in advance it might happen so I recognized what was going on and I got through it. But, oh my goodness!, did that give me a whole new appreciation of what people go through who have generalized anxiety disorder and/or frequent panic attacks. I have nothing but sympathy for your poor mother! That does not mean you need to sacrifice your own sanity in caring for her. I just sincerely hope that you can find ways to help your mother, whether she continues to stay with you or you find another residence for her.
Keep us posted on how this works out for you. We care. And we learn from each other.
Could your Mom afford to hire someone from a caregiver agency to help here out, to give you a breather? If she can't afford someone, see if your Mom can qualify for Medicaid... that way Medicaid could send someone out for a few hours each week to give you a rest. Otherwise, before you know it, you will need a caregiver for yourself !!