She says there are pockets and she needs to get the top off to get the powder/dirt out!! The doctor has checked it and there is no infection. There was a minor irritation,but I'm surprised that it was only minor! In addition to being a constant irritant, I'm afraid it will get infected. She also has a spot below her lip that is raw from picking.
I just did a mini manicure on her over Easter visit and cut her nails super short which helps. She has MD orders for Neosporin on area every night. The social worker said that we were lucky as it is super common and some pick areas that are best unseen.
I have tried keeping my nails super short, I've cut them so short that they bled. I tried wearing a rubber band and snapping it when I caught myself. I tried growing my nails long and doing them up pretty so I wouldn't want to mess up my manicure. The best luck I had was acrylic nails because my finger nails were too thick, but it totally ruined my nails after a month or two, and then I began picking my cuticles. *sigh* I do believe that this is a form of self injury. I did less of this when I was cutting myself. Buy them some dark blue and bright red bandannas and only ask that they not do it in public or in front of you. And good luck with that.
I am so going to be the pits as an elderly lady, where do I go to sign off? My kids don't need this crap.
My mother is picking her nose too. Usually in her room but I have caught her at it. She will also pick at "sores" on her face until it is a mess of scabs!! She picks at her head too and only gets her hair done every two weeks (washed and set) because she will not let the careperson wash her hair.
What I found is that if they are compulsive by nature when they were younger, then it is exacerbated when they get old.....this one would never leave anything alone and was always picking at a cut, sore, boil or splinter that I or my sibling might have. It's a sickness and probably part of OCD and her mental issues.
anniecat, shingles are usually around the chest/back/waist area so I don't think it sounds like that.
Seven, is your mother on any opiates? Opiate use or abuse makes you want to pick your face, your arms, etc. I noticed it when I was on vicodin for my gallbladder, and it got worse when I was switched to morphine.
Joan, that was my last try last spring; I was so excited. I even learned how to do french nails. My nails are like paper now, I passed the polishes and little LED ultra violet light machine on to ErinAnne. I give up. I guess I should have clarified, to me they are nearly synonymous.
Oh gosh, my mother always wanted to pop my zits when I was a teenager, I refused to let her, she freaked me out.
So, here is what I'm thinking - cold sores and shingles are both caused by a virus in the herpes family. There has also been a study that linked Alzheimers to one of the herpes (I don't remember which). Maybe there is a link, i.e. all in the family. In any event, the cream might help the itching and the need to scratch/pick.
Another thought, when I was a kid, my mother used to get cold sores. When she felt the tingling on her mouth, she would drink a glass of buttermilk. The tingling would go away, and the cold sore never developed. Buttermilk has sometype of bacteria, I think. Strange that a bacteria would take care of a virus, but this was home remedy that worked time and again. If there is a connection, a glass of buttermilk might work, would not do any harm, and some older people actually like it.
I read so much stuff on these posts about 'making them get help' or 'getting' them to someone who will help them. I have no idea how much luck anyone has with this but I have given up. I can't fight the whole system (siblings, them, etc). I just can't live anywhere near them.
One more note totally on a different subject - the lady above who suggested 'gel nails rather than acrylic' I think totally missed the point! The woman who was compelled to get something out of her nose sounds to be she made a POINT to get the big, thick acrylics hoping they won't allow her to actually get her finger IN there! Personally, I would see a mental health professional. It sounds like an compulsion to me.
home nurse put mom on ativan 7 months ago and took her off zans. nurse told me the other day that a half bottle of zans had mysteriously disappeared here. i told her there was no mystery, i ate the m-f,s. she loves me and hates me at the same time. good balance. lol..
I am reminded of a song from Music Man we did in high school, " Pick a little, talk a little, (repeat) cheep, cheep, cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more..." It was not about noses, but gossip. Heehee:))) xo
The thing that tipped me off that she was a narcissist was that if she had a tiny cut she would bawl like a baby, the world was ending, but if you fell and scraped your knee or in my case, got cut by glass and needed stitches or got bitten by a dog, it was "NOW what did you go and do! It's always something with you!" OMG what an inconvenience!
No she doesn't take any opiods that I know of but with the arsenal of drugs my sibling and I found when we cleaned out her apartment, anything is possible. I know she takes about 4 Tylenols a day whether she needs them or not. She always thinks there is something wrong with her but if you have a medical problem, it's "what's the matter with you NOW?"
By the way - just passed my 7-yr mark without alcohol so good on you!!
Hey, Congratulations on 7 years sober! That is a very big deal!!! It's not easy at all, I hope someone took you out for dinner and/or made you a cake. Any day an alcoholic is sober or an addict is clean is a miracle, You are a walking talking miracle! People think this is a disease but it's not, it's a choice. We have a strong predilection for it that we have to fight, so to make a choice to fight it is a huge thing. I'm proud of you. :)
I think one of the most difficult things for the elderly is losing a job. Without the reason to wake up, get that cup of coffee, dress, and head off to work, you feel so lost. For women who never worked outside the home, it's the fact that they have no children to take care of. If they are being cared for, then they are not cooking and cleaning. It's a loss of identity. Might not be right, but we DO identify ourselves by what we do.
When I finally retired for good and then received my VA disability a year later in 2010, I realized I would never work again. Not working was crushing. No reason to shower or dress or wake up or go to sleep on time. Retirement might sound really exciting, but it's hard to accept never working again.
I was so angry at my husband for doing nothing around the house when he was forced into disability by his stroke and cardiomyopathy in 2003. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't take showers, take care of the kids, the house, and cook meals while I worked. I had chosen joyfully to be a fulltime at home mommy to my children. I didn't sit around in front of soap operas eating bon-bons. I volunteered in classrooms, church, community, being a Scout leader for all four kids, and even worked part time during school hours AT their school. His stroke forced me to drop all that. I felt the least he could do was take care of the house if I had to work. And gosh darn it all, you stink take a shower! NOW I get it. I finally apologized to him for treating him like crap for all those years. He lost his whole identity, he wasn't the breadwinner. It just about killed him.
So I am not surprised to hear about the elderly not caring to wash or change clothing or just sitting in front of the TV endlessly flipping channels. I am not surprised by their depression or their picking or suddenly finding the most exciting thing is a doctor's appointment, (unless of course they are a lifelong hypochondriac). Getting old ain't for sissies.
I wish I had the answers, but it's not a one size fits all thing. Which is why the best thing we can all do is share our stories and say, hey this is what worked for my mom/dad, or this is what worked for me. Then we can come in, pick through the salad and find a few things to try out. *smile*
I hope that everyone is having a good Saturday and that the whole weekend will be a peaceful and rejuvenating one.
It is one day at a time but like all bad habits (for mine was just that: a bad habit that I fell into, and a "reward" for what I did every day as a wife and mother) I found that once I took the focus off it, it was gone. I rarely ever think about it and can go to social functions etc. where others are drinking and I don't even give it a second thought......club soda has become my very best friend!
You have some great things to say and some wonderful observations -- keep being you!!
@anniecat - you poor thing - it must have been torturous. Luckily for me, I have never experienced shingles but know others who have and they suffered miserably. So glad you are over that!